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What should I do with my step-mother

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Well I was never put in the corner. My parents beat me when I did something bad. So consider yourself lucky. If you don't like the punishment, stop doing the preceding behavior and the punishment won't happen again.

Its just been my way to get attention for the past while, I still feel if I don't act out I wont get any attention. She wont let me get involved much with the baby. Like I said before when My brother pays ME to watch my niece she takes over because she doesn't trust me. She says she loves me but if she did then she would trust me

Reply 41

roar:)

Original post by Pastaferian

You haven't given her any reason to suppose that you can be trusted with small children. You're being judged on deeds as well as your words, and if you take every opportunity to cause scenes, an adult isn't going to leave you in charge of a small child and hope for the best.

My brother trusted me though. He could of asked sarah but he didn't he asked me. I love watching small kids it is fun, my step brother just runs around and I lose my patience sometimes but I am really good with my niece. Everyone in my family tells me how good I amwith small children. She is the only one who wont trust me :frown:

Reply 42

GoodDay

Original post by roar:)

I lost my mum ages ago and my dad decided he would re marry. He now has a new wife and his wife has a 3 year old son. I don't like Sarah (new wife) She has stupid rules. I feel her rules are stupid so I don't follow some of them. I listen to my dad because he is my dad. She doesn't like it if I don't eat what she makes or if I don't listen to her. If i do something like cuss or anything like that she will be like "Right missy you have earned time in the corner" It is so embaressing being put in the corner that is what she does with her 3 year old. It is such a waste of time. If I move she makes be go back again. She is so annoying. I can't be bothered to spend time with her anymore. If I do something she doesn't like she gets annoyed. My dad keeps going on buisness trips and leaving me with her. What do I do about her? I hate it when she puts me in the corner. I had to sit in the corner earlier today because my brother picked up a bad word from mw. Please help. what do I do about her? I am 13 years old and she is bugging me!

I'm sorry but if you're angry at her for not allowing you to swear in front of a 3 year old and you think that this impinges your 'freedom of speech' then I'm on Sarah's side.

Reply 43

roar:)

Original post by GoodDay

I'm sorry but if you're angry at her for not allowing you to swear in front of a 3 year old and you think that this impinges your 'freedom of speech' then I'm on Sarah's side.

I am more angry about the fact that she puts me in the corner when I misbhevae and it is emaressing. I also find it annoying as that is my only way to get attention. She wont even let me look after MY own niece with out getting involved

Reply 44

hamijack

Original post by roar:)

Of course she doesn't trust you. You behave like a child, not the adult you claim to be. Stop acting out for attention and make the effort to help her with her child or round and she will start to trust you. Basically stop acting like a child and she'll stop treating you like one.

Reply 45

BioIz

Original post by roar:)

I thought there was freedom of speech not freedom of speech but if you say bad stuff you go in the corner. She is horrible I get put in the corner for other stuff as well and afterwards I have to apologise. I once had to do it when her stupid sister was over and it was embarressing I am 13 not 3 like her son

I see your point but you still shouldn't swear in front of a three year old :P be mature about it and talk to her/your dad adult to adult, not angry teenager to adult. That way they have no choice but to listen.

Reply 46

Pastaferian

Original post by roar:)

My brother trusted me though. He could of asked sarah but he didn't he asked me. I love watching small kids it is fun, my step brother just runs around and I lose my patience sometimes but I am really good with my niece. Everyone in my family tells me how good I am with small children. She is the only one who wont trust me:(

Oh, I don't doubt that you'd be good with your niece, and I don't doubt that Sarah is the only one who doesn't trust you either. But you need to ask yourself why is that? Have you given her reason not to trust you? - if yes, you can't blame her for being protective. It's no good telling us how good you'd be with kids - you need to show Sarah how good you could be. Deeds, not words. I know it can't be easy for you having to cope with a step-mother, but you are both going to have to give each other a bit more respect if life is to get more bearable, and you'll have to do your part to make that happen. Good luck! :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 47

Blake-inator

Original post by roar:)

*have

Reply 48

roar:)

Original post by Pastaferian

How do I show her with out her taking the baby from me? She wont even let me watch my step brother for extra money. she says that I am not patient enough to look after them. I am. My step brother just gets on my nerves a lot more than my niece does. Every now and then I go and spend the weekend with my brother and I look after my niece then and he always says how good I am.
How do I show sarah if she wont barley let me touch my niece?

Reply 49

kunoichi

Original post by roar:)

How do I show sarah if she wont barley let me touch my niece?

What would your brother say if you told him that Sarah just takes his daughter off you and looks after her? Could you ask him to tell her that you are the one he wants looking after her?

Reply 50

roar:)

Original post by kunoichi

What would your brother say if you told him that Sarah just takes his daughter off you and looks after her? Could you ask him to tell her that you are the one he wants looking after her?

I am looking after my niece next saturday, I will ask him to tell sarah that he wants ME to look after her. It is going to be so funny :giggle:

Reply 51

Chloe_White

Original post by roar:)

I DON'T act like a 3 year old. My step brother acts like a 3 year old because he is 3. I don't throw tantrums like he does, It isn't so bad being put in the corner for him because he is little and deserves it when he acts up. I am older and don't deserve it. I am treated like a young child. It bugs me so much

It's understandable, trust me, I was 13 too once and my parents bugged me too at times but all you can do is do your best not to get told off and the more you don't get told off A. the better it is to put up with your step-mum and B. Your not going to be treated as much like a child. And just try your best to ue better language around your parents. It's disrespectful to swear around authoritative people

Reply 52

Steevee

Why is everyone taking the OPs side? She sounds like a typical petulant 13 year old and is just acting out against the Step-mum.

Reply 53

roar:)

Original post by Steevee

Why is everyone taking the OPs side? She sounds like a typical petulant 13 year old and is just acting out against the Step-mum.

My step-mum can be mean and embaress me. When I was in the corner for something I had done she told my friends I would be able to come out later when I was finished my time in the bad corner

Reply 54

kunoichi

Original post by Steevee

Why is everyone taking the OPs side? She sounds like a typical petulant 13 year old and is just acting out against the Step-mum.

I agree to a point, however this a step mum and not her real mum.

People's opinions will differ but my personal opinion, is that a step parent has no real right to touch you without you permission (ie. taken forcibly to the corner for punishment like sarah is doing to the OP) and shouldnt get involved with decisions made between you and other members of your family, (OP being asked to look after her niece and Sarah taking her away etc)

Unless you've been looked after as a young child by your step parent and see them almost as a real parent then they should not attempt to act like they have the same respect and authority as your real mum and dad does.

I realise people will have wide and varied opinions on step parents so i dont particularly expect any agreement, just trying to explain why i am against Sarah doing what she has been doing :smile:

Reply 55

kunoichi

Original post by roar:)

I am looking after my niece next saturday, I will ask him to tell sarah that he wants ME to look after her. It is going to be so funny :giggle:

If you can manage that and if you try to stop the bad language around her children then she will be more likely to let you help out with your stop brothers :smile:

Reply 56

Steevee

Original post by kunoichi

I disagree. They are a parent, biology really makes no matter with it.

Reply 57

kunoichi

Original post by Steevee

I disagree.

I had a feeling you would :tongue:

Well each to their own!

Reply 58

Ronove

Original post by roar:)

You've left marks on your three-year-old stepbrother three times in a week. All Sarah sees is you behaving like a little child. If Sarah is around in the house, it is her responsibility to make sure that your niece is looked after properly. If something happened to your niece and Sarah had been in the house, she would be the one getting in trouble (not just with your brother) for not supervising you and the baby, not you. And I can pretty much guarantee that your brother would not be putting you in charge of babysitting a four-month-old baby if your stepmother wasn't also going to be around to step in where necessary.

[QUOTE=roar[excludedFace]smile[/excludedFace];42702159]I am looking after my niece next saturday, I will ask him to tell sarah that he wants ME to look after her. It is going to be so funny :giggle:

You need to stop trying to score points over your stepmother. You're just making the whole situation harder for yourself.

[QUOTE=roar[excludedFace]smile[/excludedFace];42702303]My step-mum can be mean and embaress me. When I was in the corner for something I had done she told my friends I would be able to come out later when I was finished my time in the bad corner
Well if actually putting you in the corner every time you misbehave isn't working because you just enjoy the attention like a toddler, what else do you expect her to do, other than try to embarrass you out of it by telling your friends what an idiot you're being?

I understand that being put in the corner à la Supernanny seems unreasonable for a 13-year-old, but it is the easiest thing for her to do, especially when your three-year-old stepbrother gets the same punishment and will learn by example if you're being punished the same way when you misbehave. As a 13-year-old you should be able to grasp far better than a three-year-old that you can simply stop the undesired behaviours and therefore avoid punishment altogether.

You should ask to speak to your school's counsellor due to your problems at home. They will have one, and I think it will be very helpful.

Reply 59

Ronove

Original post by kunoichi

I had a feeling you would :tongue:

Well each to their own!

I also disagree with you, very much, and I have experienced unpleasant treatment by step-parents on both sides. One was where my stepfather was chronically ill and on a lot of medication and suffering psychological problems, and abused me significantly. Subsequently there was a huge amount of friction. The other was my dad's girlfriend, who was OK half the time, and was just malicious the rest of the time. My dad did see some of that. Of course the fact that she didn't have children and that I was a highly precocious pre-/early teen meant that she had trouble engaging with me in a healthy way. Where she tried to put her foot down (not on anything serious to my knowledge), it was misjudged and stupid - especially considering how little I was there (once a week or so). It also only involved her going and bitching to my dad, and never with her talking to me about it, which would have worked perfectly.

However, the OP's situation is nothing like this. It is just her being a difficult child. Clearly her mother's death explains part of it, so I don't judge her so much for tending to difficult behaviour. But she needs to grow up and stop taking it out on Sarah. Sarah is now a parent, with responsibilities equal to the OP's father. The point of discipline is not to feel like a parent, but to ensure that the child grows up into a normal, healthy, well-adjusted adult, and to ensure that the entire household functions properly. The OP is deliberately hindering both of these things.