What is the longest and furthest you would do an LDR for?

An hour, a few hours train journey? Or a plane journey away?
And how long for, a year, a few etc.

I'm currently an 8 hour plane journey and an hour train journey from my boyfriend. At this point, I could be anywhere in the world from him, and we'd make it work - but a few hours train journey would suit me far better!! We've not put ourselves on a timeline, but I'm hoping to move to be with him about a year an a half after we started the distance. If there's no goal for closing the distance, or it's years and years away, I wouldn't want to be a part of it. There's so much effort and loneliness involved that I wouldn't put myself through it if there wasn't a closing date in sight.

Reply 2

Jellybean91

12

At my worst in LDR I was 1000 miles away (Spain and Italy to England). If you love the person you're with, you can make it work :smile:

Reply 3

natninja

21

I made a few hour drive and a three hour flight work for a few months, we were at school together but she lives in Kiev during holidays, fell to pieces when we both started (the same) uni though

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Jellybean91

At my worst in LDR I was 1000 miles away (Spain and Italy to England). If you love the person you're with, you can make it work :smile:

How long was this for and how long would you have done that distance for?

Reply 5

_char

I suppose its easy to say how far you'd be willing to accept if its just hypothetical, but say you actually fall in love with someone far away that could completely turn what you said before on its head. I'm an hour and a half train journey from my boyfriend right now which feels pretty short when I read how far other people have to travel, but next year he'll be moving abroad to Germany for a work placement. Either way, I'm still going to not give up and we'll make it work ^^

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by canadamoose

I'm currently an 8 hour plane journey and an hour train journey from my boyfriend. At this point, I could be anywhere in the world from him, and we'd make it work - but a few hours train journey would suit me far better!! We've not put ourselves on a timeline, but I'm hoping to move to be with him about a year an a half after we started the distance. If there's no goal for closing the distance, or it's years and years away, I wouldn't want to be a part of it. There's so much effort and loneliness involved that I wouldn't put myself through it if there wasn't a closing date in sight.

Wow, that's ages! How long would you say is the maximum you'd have pursued the relationship with this distance?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by _char

I suppose its easy to say how far you'd be willing to accept if its just hypothetical, but say you actually fall in love with someone far away that could completely turn what you said before on its head. I'm an hour and a half train journey from my boyfriend right now which feels pretty short when I read how far other people have to travel, but next year he'll be moving abroad to Germany for a work placement. Either way, I'm still going to not give up and we'll make it work ^^

It's nice to hear you're trying :smile:

how long will the distance be for?

Reply 8

shorttstuff

10

Even if he or I was halfway around the world in america or asia, I'd still try and work it out because there's still quite a few ways to communicate such as skype etc. Plus because he means so much, I'd make the effort to communicate with him no matter what the time difference.

Reply 9

_char

Original post by Anonymous

It's nice to hear you're trying :smile:

how long will the distance be for?

Thanks!

The current distance isn't bad at all really, up till now we've had alot of school/uni stuff during the week and we get to see eachother at weekends (we also chat alot online). The Germany placement will be for roughly a year (it'll be his 3rd uni year) and then he'll be back for his last year at uni in the same place as he is now :smile:

He'll be back for a couple holidays though, and apparently the cheaper airlines will have some very cheap tickets from England -> Germany and back trips so it could be worse! Scared of flying alone though!

Reply 10

ironandwine

15

For me it wouldn't depend on how far away I was - it would depend how long I'd been in the relationship and how committed to it I was.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ironandwine

For me it wouldn't depend on how far away I was - it would depend how long I'd been in the relationship and how committed to it I was.

Of course, but would you say there's a maximum time you'd do an LDR for?

Reply 12

Jellybean91

12

Original post by Anonymous

How long was this for and how long would you have done that distance for?

I lived in Italy for 6 months and then Spain for 4 months! Don't let distance get in the way of a good relationship! I'm still LDR, Hull to Manchester and soon to be London to Manchester. We have been long distance for all of our 2 year relationship!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Jellybean91

I lived in Italy for 6 months and then Spain for 4 months! Don't let distance get in the way of a good relationship! I'm still LDR, Hull to Manchester and soon to be London to Manchester. We have been long distance for all of our 2 year relationship!

I think this but I think he thinks it'll be too hard :frown:

Reply 14

Eljamaispa

17

No idea without trying. A few months if a plane away. A year if a bus/train away. Bah, I dunno. For the right girl it would be a long time and any distance.

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Reply 15

Stevo112

17

I wouldn't call it a relationship but me and an aussie girl connected really well a while back! She was such an amazing girl.

We met up for the first time about 6 months ago and it didn't work out as planned.

She did say that she loved me prior to meeting so it was quite surreal in that respect!

Reply 16

Mockery

17

Been there done that. In the future I probably wouldn't agree to any more than an hours drive away.

Reply 17

Tactical Nuclear Penguin

16

Current girlfriend is at Uni with me but I finish next month so from then on it'll be like West Midlands-Surrey or West Midlands-Loughborough when she goes back to Uni. Not the closest, certainly not the furthest! But certainly the furthest I've ever done in a relationship before.

I found I missed her a lot more than I expected over Easter (it was early days at that point) so I have no idea how hard it will be from the summer onwards!

But hey ho I really like her so I'm sure I would try everything to make it work whatever the distance.

Reply 18

Millie228

9

Original post by Scott.

If they're further away = more fun with other girls.

I know some see this as a joke, but it is actually a truthful of many men's idea of an "LDR".

I would never enter a relationship with someone who doesn't live where I live at this point. I am 22 and not a teenager looking for a pen pal and you can in fact choose you start dating and get emotionally invested in, and it's just pure stupidity to do so with someone who lives far away and has a life disconnected to yours. If I am already with a guy and he has to go away for work, up to 3 months would be okay, but I would obviously need a strong token of our commitment, for example being engaged.