Help, i think my boyfriend is stingy.
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How old is he? Why is his mother giving him money to feed you? Why are you wasting £100 on ruddy Valentine's day but won't buy your own popcorn? P.s I'm too tight to buy popcorn too, if my fiancé wants it he can buy it himself I'm not wasting a tenner on popcorn when I only receive £1500 a year. That popcorn is half my weekly budget. It's all relative.
Okay you have to realise that some people are tight with money, end of. I dont get money from my parents, everything I pay for, I pay for myself through money ive saved or earned. Dont EXPECT things so much, you shouldnt expect the guy to pay for everything, if you want popcorn then buy it and I would have paid for my cinema ticket too (or at least offered). Also, central London is expensive, its not cheap so i understand him there. And whats wrong with a kebab? That's the best thing about London!
The only thing I think your right about is the birthday present, he should have got you one really, or even a card or something.
The only thing I think your right about is the birthday present, he should have got you one really, or even a card or something.
Original post by Rybee
Stingy like a wasp?
In all seriousness OP he does sound careful with his money.
However you have to remember that it's up to him what he does with his own money.
Also, about expecting him to buy you snacks and popcorn at cinemas when he pays for the ticket? At least appreciate that he paid for your ticket same with the food in London
About the valentines and birthday present, well he did have those personal issues at the time with one of them and the other I don't know it may be a little embarrassing for him.
If this bothers you so much then you need to talk about it to him and tell him how you feel.
But I think it's wrong to expect the poor guy to have to pay for everything.
However you have to remember that it's up to him what he does with his own money.
Also, about expecting him to buy you snacks and popcorn at cinemas when he pays for the ticket? At least appreciate that he paid for your ticket same with the food in London
About the valentines and birthday present, well he did have those personal issues at the time with one of them and the other I don't know it may be a little embarrassing for him.
If this bothers you so much then you need to talk about it to him and tell him how you feel.
But I think it's wrong to expect the poor guy to have to pay for everything.
My boyfriend hardly lets me pay for things, and it is the most embarrassing thing in the world! Well, maybe that was an exaggeration but still... How can you expect him to pay for everything? If he's buying your cinema ticket you should be buying the snacks.
Original post by ANONYM00SE
Hellooooooo he is the one that ALWAYS pays for dates..
Pretty sure if a guy ends up paying for all the dates and his girlfriend is ungrateful he's going to get pissed off and not bother with her birthday/valentines because quite frankly if she isn't grateful for those dates then she doesn't deserve the birthday/valentines stuff.
Him paying for dates all of the time = putting in effort... which is not being reciprocated by the girlfriend...
Relationships are a two way thing.
You, my friend, are deluuuuuuded
Pretty sure if a guy ends up paying for all the dates and his girlfriend is ungrateful he's going to get pissed off and not bother with her birthday/valentines because quite frankly if she isn't grateful for those dates then she doesn't deserve the birthday/valentines stuff.
Him paying for dates all of the time = putting in effort... which is not being reciprocated by the girlfriend...
Relationships are a two way thing.
You, my friend, are deluuuuuuded
Original post by Scott.
And this is possibly the most stupidest thing I've read in a long time.
You can't prove he's taking her for granted. There's lots of ways to show you care about someone without buying them goods. She just thinks she's entitled to things. When it's clear she's unwilling to pay money for her own food when when she's "hungry", her own "popcorn" which without would ruin her entire experience.
She even conceded that one time his mother gave him limited funds, despite this he still paid for her food. Which she's still ungrateful for. At one point she states he was having family problems, but they're not important according to her. If she spends a large amount of money on a gift, would it be unfair to say that she could pay for something that she wants if he doesn't have much money?
You can't prove he's taking her for granted. There's lots of ways to show you care about someone without buying them goods. She just thinks she's entitled to things. When it's clear she's unwilling to pay money for her own food when when she's "hungry", her own "popcorn" which without would ruin her entire experience.
She even conceded that one time his mother gave him limited funds, despite this he still paid for her food. Which she's still ungrateful for. At one point she states he was having family problems, but they're not important according to her. If she spends a large amount of money on a gift, would it be unfair to say that she could pay for something that she wants if he doesn't have much money?
I didn't ever say anything about the dates. I think that he shouldn't have to pay and they should go half half, especially since they both are students. You are right it could be annoying for him.
My point was merely that it wasn't nice not to do something for her birthday. I didn't mean an expensive present but something simple like a card.
I have no idea what op is like and what their relationship/home problems are so cannot really comment on whether she puts effort in or not or whether he was distracted at the time.
(edited 10 years ago)
Ok so call me tight but the gf gets a well thought out valentines of less than £20 and a handmade card. Now if we got out iam happy to pay the majority of the activities cost but i would expect her to willingly offer to pay for food or other sundries. Try walks in the park or nights in cooking together. The key is communication! Talk about it with him
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Spending one hundred pounds on valentines is just madness although he does sound stingy. Also the reason he is probably 'loaded' is because you don't get rich throwing your money around.
You looking for gold in them there hills? Love him for who he is not what he does with his money
Original post by lucaf
been together half a year and you spent £100 on valentines day? that seems a bit over the top.
him not buying you anything for your birthday seems a bit out of order, but not buying popcorn and going somewhere reasonably priced for lunch sounds perfectly fine. presents are one thing, but why should he have to buy you snacks or lunch?
him not buying you anything for your birthday seems a bit out of order, but not buying popcorn and going somewhere reasonably priced for lunch sounds perfectly fine. presents are one thing, but why should he have to buy you snacks or lunch?
well if they have been together half a year now she spent that on valentines day after 3 months
don't listen to the people who are calling you a gold-digger on here. it is a pain in the ass being with someone stingy like wtf WHY THE HELL WOULD HE TAKE YOU OUT OF LONDON TO A KEBAB SHOP holy **** i have heard some bull**** in my life but this guy takes the prize
my advice: get inside his head by being stingy yourself and see how it goes. try your hardest to be EVEN more stingier than him and then he will get the message and know how it feels... when you're on the phone, say ''sorry g2g, credit'' and stuff... it will work
my advice: get inside his head by being stingy yourself and see how it goes. try your hardest to be EVEN more stingier than him and then he will get the message and know how it feels... when you're on the phone, say ''sorry g2g, credit'' and stuff... it will work
Original post by lookbehindyouNOW
don't listen to the people who are calling you a gold-digger on here. it is a pain in the ass being with someone stingy like wtf WHY THE HELL WOULD HE TAKE YOU OUT OF LONDON TO A KEBAB SHOP holy **** i have heard some bull**** in my life but this guy takes the prize
my advice: get inside his head by being stingy yourself and see how it goes. try your hardest to be EVEN more stingier than him and then he will get the message and know how it feels... when you're on the phone, say ''sorry g2g, credit'' and stuff... it will work
my advice: get inside his head by being stingy yourself and see how it goes. try your hardest to be EVEN more stingier than him and then he will get the message and know how it feels... when you're on the phone, say ''sorry g2g, credit'' and stuff... it will work
Yes this is the mature and decent way to deal with the situation. Become a vindictive 12 year old and mentally bully your so-called boyfriend into spending more of his money on you.
Seriously OP you cannot be more than 14 years old from what I am reading. People over the age of 18 usually (unless they never grow up) don't care about these things and are usually realistic enough not to expect someone to spend their wages on them. I mean seriously £100 on a St Valentines present? Most married couples don't do that. I think this is an immature couple stuck in puppy-love and for some reason the girl in this relationship feels that not buying her popcorn is some test of measuring how great a man he is. Okay, let's just say that he is stingy with his money anyway. That's called life. People are not perfect. Being deep-pocketed can have it's advantages. Would I buy my girlfriend popcorn? Sure. But you'd be damn sure I'd drop her if she went onto the internet moaning that I didn't buy her some popcorn and telling people about how she didn't get a valuable gift after she spent money on me. Goodness me. Too young for a relationship. This isn't a relationship problem, this is a maturity problem. In the real world these things hardly matter; or it's over something bigger and one has the ability to see when it goes from a slight personality fault into something more serious like taking financial advantage or being a total loser who would argue with someone over 5p and haggle with someone at Harrods or something.
Original post by Anonymous
me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.
I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,
How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.
I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,
How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.
Maybe he doesn't have money and he's too embarrassed to tell you
My dad has a large income but I see it as rude to ask for money. If he doesn't have a job then he may have taken my point of view.
And you can't just expect things as that my friend, is using someone.
I expect to be loved by my boyfriend as that is a basic of being together but I don't expect to be showered with gifts.
I'd start an argument if he didn't acknowledge my birthday with at least a card, it's just common courtesy...
May I add that as the majority of us in here are 16-21 and are without a well-paid job, it is not essential to spend lots of money on the other person, however, once you have left university, it is then your fault if the other person reacts because you have not spent an adequate amount on them.
It also doesn't have to be a gift, it can be an experience etc, something of worth to the other person.
And you can't just expect things as that my friend, is using someone.
I expect to be loved by my boyfriend as that is a basic of being together but I don't expect to be showered with gifts.
I'd start an argument if he didn't acknowledge my birthday with at least a card, it's just common courtesy...
May I add that as the majority of us in here are 16-21 and are without a well-paid job, it is not essential to spend lots of money on the other person, however, once you have left university, it is then your fault if the other person reacts because you have not spent an adequate amount on them.
It also doesn't have to be a gift, it can be an experience etc, something of worth to the other person.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by vhowkins
My dad has a large income but I see it as rude to ask for money. If he doesn't have a job then he may have taken my point of view.
And you can't just expect things as that my friend, is using someone.
I expect to be loved by my boyfriend as that is a basic of being together but I don't expect to be showered with gifts.
I'd start an argument if he didn't acknowledge my birthday with at least a card, it's just common courtesy...
And you can't just expect things as that my friend, is using someone.
I expect to be loved by my boyfriend as that is a basic of being together but I don't expect to be showered with gifts.
I'd start an argument if he didn't acknowledge my birthday with at least a card, it's just common courtesy...
Confused as to why boasting about your dad's 'large income' is in anyway related to the topic at hand...
Original post by rebeccaruby
Confused as to why boasting about your dad's 'large income' is in anyway related to the topic at hand...
Probably to draw the connection between "having lots of money" and "being expected to part with it for whatever reasons" as the OP mentioned that her boyfriend is apparently "loaded"
Whereas your post was adding to the discussion and sounds not in the least bit jealous <3
(edited 10 years ago)
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