The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

The longest we've not seen each other is 3 weeks. But if it had to be more, even though it would be hard, I know i'd still be determined to make it work. It's entirely up to you if you want to stay with him. True love knows no distance, that's my favourite saying at the moment.

I didn't allow myself to become jealous because I know we're committed to each other. I trust him 100%, just as he trusts me. Trust is a major component in a LDR. What rules do you mean?

I never said relationships were without their problems. Mine is certainly far from perfect, don't regret any of it though. My posts illustrate a difficult journey

It is possible for LDRs to work. My boyfriend and I have been together just short of 2 years and he lives 200+ miles away. At first a lot of people said what you mentioned 'it won't work' or they asked 'how are you going to make it work?' and it was kind of upsetting to hear that, especially from people who you care about and consider close to you. But come 6 months, you do end up being more comfortable with the distance and other people come to accept it too. We're still very much in love and are completely committed. It annoys me that some people are doubtful to the idea that LDRs can work.

Would you accept building advice from a builder whose house has collapsed 5 times?

I know what you're saying, and I appreciate you saying it, but at the same time, I can't take you as an authority on the subject when your posts are 90% "He's a great boyfriend, but he isn't romantic during sex", "He's a great boyfriend, but he's selfish in bed", "He's a great boyfriend, but he spends more time doing Y than with me" etc etc.

What you should have called this post was "My journey in a LDR" and posted the positives and the negatives of what you have experienced so far. Less than a month ago you said you were considering breaking up with him and had been for 4 months. 2 weeks later you were saying that you were thinking about moving in with him in the future. A week after that you were saying he's selfish in bed. A week before that you were saying he's unromantic in bed. You don't like his tattoos. You don't like the fact he watches football when you think he should be talking to you, et al.

If you explained HOW you got through all of that, then it's a worthwhile post, but it sounds to me like you're just pushing problem after problem aside after reading what some random stranger told you to do on the internet each and every time. That is not a good recipe for a LDR, that is a recipe for a ticking time bomb, which is exactly what your original post was trying to say a LDR doesn't always have to be, and it isn't fair to people reading your post going "Oh! LDRs can work out after all!" if they don't have the full story. Over and over again, you say you tell your boyfriend everything, but if that was the case, you would never have needed to post on TSR before now, and I could have taken what you said with a lot more weight.

We all know LDRs CAN work out, just like some ONS end in relationship and some forgive cheaters and make it work. It doesn't mean it's generally a good idea. TSR is already incredibly LDR-positive (seeing as people are young and inexperienced), so I don't think it's a good idea to encourage it. On the whole, LDRs are bound to end eventually. You don't get to have a day to day life together or a normal sex life. Of course it can work if both individuals are outside the norm, have low expectations and not that much need for intimacy, but they will be in minority.

x

Comparing people in LDRs with single people doesn't make sense. Of course people in relationships will have more sex than single people, unless those single people are into casual sex. If your single friends aren't into casual sex, then you'll be having more sex than they are. I was comparing LDRs with normal relationships, in which case it is obvious that normal relationships can have normal, regular sex lives which LDR couples cannot, as their distance implies.

Geez 18 post in less than a month and all to do with her 8 month relationship.
It doesn't seem 'perfect' as this post is suppose to suggest.

Perfect? When did I say 'my relationship has been perfect?' No it has not. However, having come through the hard part, it is better than it's ever been and I feel great

Perhaps not in those words.
However, your post doesn't really illustrate a 'positive experience' as such. You have only portrayed what looks like survival of your relationship. And short-term at that. You past posts don't reflect any progression and development of your actual relationship.
Its all well and good looking to the future though such as moving in together. But I would advise addressing all those issues in your previous posts firstly.

Most of those issues have already been addressed. The odd thing comes up here and there- we have arguments, problems and disagreements, who doesn't?

Considering so many people deem LDRs 'impossible', i considder survival of one a progression. It's a development of a positive attitude to difficult situations. We've progressed from being the 'normal' short distance relationship to a long distance one, yet we are still together and stronger than ever before. We've progressed from never talking about the future to discussing the possibility of one day living together. The relationship has progressed on a sexual and intimate level. We've progressed from dating to saying 'i love you', we've fallen in love despite the distance.

He's my first love, lost my virginity to him 3 months in to the relationship. When we first started going out i couldn't even talk about sex as i was so shy and nervous. We've both become more confident as people since the relationship began. Long distance has taught us our strengths and weaknesses and how we deal with diffculties. Ultimately, despite all the heartache, we've overcome so much and are now an incredibly strong couple.

If that isn't progression, I don't know what is.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years; we had a long distance (over seas) relationship for 2 and a half years. I just found out that whilst he was living away from me he cheated on me 5 times hm

Hello. Not that anybody cares or that i want to turn this into an examples of a LDR forum. But me and my girlfriend sapphire, have been together for 4 years now, we met on a penpal website called 'interpals' and it just all kicked off from there. We see eachother at least once a month but sometimes its less as exams etc. But i'd like to share my experience and thoughts about a LDR........