So tired and generally meh today. Spent all day trying not to fall asleep. Just had no interest in anything. Practically fell asleep on my friends sofa while they had lunch then slept for 3 hours when I got home (was meant to be revising). Haven't eaten much. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep. Everything just feels like i'm having to push through jelly or something it's like there's more pressure than usual. On top of that I handed in my letter for special consideration to exams office today... they read the letter, which I really hoped they wouldn't cos it contains a piece of information I really don't like people finding out about, and then they were just so blunt about everything and it unsettled me. I was feeling so much better about exams last night and now i'm getting worried again. I just want to curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep!
I feel bad cos my friend are having problems with relationships and stuff and I'm so out of it all I can manage to do is nod and "hmm" when they talk to me about it. I feel like such a bad friend. I'm trying to still act like me and be positive around people but it's hard.
I just feel so horribly mediocre at the moment. I hate this feeling! I can't be bothered to do anything. I'm not eating or drinking as much as I should and it's been like 3 days since I last had a shower. My hair's getting all greasy and all I need to do is jump in the bloody shower for like 5 minuets but I just can't be bothered.
Only 2 days left. I don't want to leave college!! It's all I have to keep me sane!!!!
But trying to look at the positives... ["always look on the bright side of life"
] I'm not as anxious as I have been recently- late for lesson and didn't freak out. win!- and I have the most lovely friends. I spent a lot of today either curled up on my friend's lap like a cat or continuously hugging them and they just went with it.
I swear they're like the only reason I can function sometimes <3
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Hope everybody's feeling okay. Hugs to anyone who isn't and hope you feel better soon.