Mental Health Support Society Mk X

Turns out someone I thought was my friend has actually completely screwed me over. Feel weirdly "meh" about it. Kinda sad, kinda angry, kinda just don't care. Feel a bit like it's my fault and I asked too much of her. Bit like I never fully trusted her anyway so I guess I was right to be wary. **** that she knows so much stuff that I now wish I could erase from her mind, but she is at least bound by confidentiality so it should stay with her to some extent...

Feel really weird and I don't know why. Don't even know if I'm allowed to write this. Just need to vent. Argh ****

Was there anything in particular that's made that feeling come back? (if you don't mind my asking that is!) Have you tried doing distraction techniques, or are they not really helpful?

I'm trying I'm home alone atm though which I hate when I feel upset it makes me feel really isolated I hope so, I haven't done it for 2 or 3 years now and really don't wanna do it again.

Every time I feel like that, I try to 'save it' up for when I'm getting my tattoo lol...seems to sort of work, kind of

My aunt has an award ceremony tonight for something she's been nominated for, because she;s done a lot of work for charity but she's terminally ill. I was going to go but we thought it might be too triggering for me, which it would have. So I'm home alone waiting for my dad to come back, and to top it off a bad photo got posted of me online which sounds pathetic but it bothered me and that combined with everything else has upset me for some reason

I'm also on citalopram and quite new to it so it might be that

That's a sneaky plan you have :P I've seen talk of tattoos recently I think. What're you getting?
it's okay you've come really far and just a day or two can't get rid of all of that progress! I try to think of it like the occasional bad days are to remind me how far I've come. x


Posted from TSR Mobile

My aunt has an award ceremony tonight for something she's been nominated for, because she;s done a lot of work for charity but she's terminally ill. I was going to go but we thought it might be too triggering for me, which it would have. So I'm home alone waiting for my dad to come back, and to top it off a bad photo got posted of me online which sounds pathetic but it bothered me and that combined with everything else has upset me for some reason

I'm also on citalopram and quite new to it so it might be that

Sorry I can't really offer any advice but you sound like in need for some and more
The picture thing is what caused me to deactivate Facebook about a month and half many months back. It felt good not comparing my life with others for a bit I must say...I did miss it enough to come back on it, but from time to time deactivating it can be helpful for me

The photo thing isn't pathetic at all, it's bad enough when you're feeling ok, but if you're already feeling **** it real doesn't help. From personal experience when I tried citalopram it really screwed me over when I first started it, so you might have to wait a little while for it to settle down. If your Dads due back soon, do you think you can hold off doing anything til then?

Thank you

Yeah I deactivated mine a while ago because I had some idiots on it, but I've super privated my profile and so now it's not usually a problem, it's just I did some modelling for a friend as a favour and I didn't get to see the photos before they got posted and now everyone's liking this photo of me and I'm like AHHH GET IT OFF. I wouldn't mind but everyone's gonna' see me looking like an idiot. Wouldn't usually bother me but because I already feel **** it's annoying

I'm getting a thigh piece and it's some roses with leaves, but not modern roses I'm getting old English roses in yellow in a traditional tattoo style. I've found my artist and am waiting to book in

That's good way of looking at it. I'm feeling better most days so definitely don;t want this to ruin it. Thank you

No worries, you just seemed really distressed and I felt like offering digi-hugs

If you're modelling for a friend and people are liking it, then that's usually a good sign with people probably thinking you're attractive But I understand why it make affect you though as it's probably giving you unwanted attention as i'm like that too I guess you could untag yourself from the picture if it is affecting you Listen to some music but with more of a meaning to it, I find that it helps me release stress sometimes when i do that

Thank you! I should be able to, I'm trying to distract myself which isn't too bad and staying in the room I am as long as possible so I won't get any...silly ideas. Seems to be working. Thank you all for being so nice on here

Sounds really nice. Let us know when it's all done?

And to butt into another post I just noticed...
I'm sorry to hear about you aunt. It's a shame you couldn't go to the ceremony but you made a good choice in playing it safe and its the thought that counts most anyway I still get upset by photos being posted of me so I get where you're coming from. It's fine though, it won't matter nearly as much to others as it does to you.



Posted from TSR Mobile

I spent pretty much my whole day re-arranging my room, to the point where I was alphabetizing my bookshelf, but whatever keeps you busy Also, just saw your post about your tattoo, it sounds lovely. I've got a couple now, and they've been really helpful with keeping a lid on some of the s.h. stuff.

Thanks

Yeah it's like I really don't want anyone to see it so instead of making me feel better I'm just thinking oh crap everyone can see this photo of me looking bad. I've hidden it from my profile I'm going to do that My dad's back now so any danger of me doing anything has pretty much gone, when someone's in the house It isn't as bad

I'm glad you've found a way of making yourself feel a little better now Well at least you have someone there with you which is the main thing

I'll post a picture when it's done

Thanks, yeah it really upsets me, and I know it upsets my mum I really wanted to go but it requires a hotel stay away from home and I didn't want to risk staying away and having a massive episode in an unfamiliar place which would make it loads worse. I didn't want to ruin it and make it all about me if that makes sense.

Yeah it's like I feel like everyone's staring at me, I know it's stupid but I do :/

Thanks for eveyrone on here being so helpful

Yay! I look forward to it

It's fine. She'll know you care and that you had a good reason so it's not bad. I hate staying in unfamiliar places at the best of times so if you're feeling a bit more fragile at the moment I can totally sympathise with your decision. The fact that you wanted to go is worth way more than if you didn't want to but still did. It shows you care and that lasts far longer than any ceremony!

It doesn't sound stupid. If you really don't like it you could ask them to remove just that one but it sounds to me like you've handled it very well. Besides, as the other poster said, if you're modelling for a friend and willing to let them post it on fb it shows not only that you must have something worth modelling (sounds slightly more objectifying than its meant to) but also that you've actually got a good deal of courage too. One silly photo won't make people laugh at you or anything. Yeah people will look but when they look they'll be thinking things like "wow that's cool." not about how stupid whatever you're doing is. And besides its just a photo, the current you is somewhere different doing something completely different and can be as silly as they like without anybody there knowing x


Posted from TSR Mobile