iv completely run out of energy, i feel dirty, but cant shower now, i just dont even know how to feel anymore. i feel like im constantly putting on a brave face for people, when inside im just crushed. im empty.
i dunno, recently iv been getting more and more ideas and thoughts about [bad word] and i really dont like it, i need to try and phone the drs tomorrow.
im going on a guiding event soon, and my mum will be having a health for for me, aswell as someone else (who i think judges me) and i have to put what meds im on and why and im so scared, i only managed to fill in part of it today, and my mum was questioning it, and i just told her i might have my meds changed soon, i havnt even told her whats wrong with me, i just cant. i dont know what to do, shes gonna read it i know she is