I am planning on getting drunk on skype tonight (specifically in half an hour) - anyone with any sense will log off now; all others prepare to be bemused.
Also I know I've got a few of you added on skype already, but with a couple of you for the life of me I can't remember which of you is which.
Also Saber I haven't spoken to you in ages, so get your arse online.
Can I get in on the skype chats? I'm on it pretty much all the time...
Sure, PM me your username.
Also was it you who asked about the biscuits? If so, yeah I can occasionally get them in the supermarket, but on holiday I can get them pre-made into a spread so I don't even have to chew!!!
I am aware that this will make no sense if you're not the one who asked about the biscuits.
Oh, and Nut.: your skype thing always says 'pending contact request' for me.
I wish people could be just a little less predictable sometimes! It's my college leavers part tonight so i'm throwing an after party for a few friends and suprise suprise one of them can't make it. They waited until the last minuet (literally) to tell me as always. It's just so rude! They've obviously known for at least a day cos they had time to change their coach but they still wait until after i've planned and got everything. I think i'm just not going to bother anymore. I hate to go against my CBT but it really seems like she's trying to avoid me. This keeps happening and she always waits until so late to tell me. Really isn't helping since I was already starting to freak out and i'm not on the coach with any of my friends. I don't like people from college and I don't like large crowds and i'm stuck with BOTH!
Also was it you who asked about the biscuits? If so, yeah I can occasionally get them in the supermarket, but on holiday I can get them pre-made into a spread so I don't even have to chew!!!
I am aware that this will make no sense if you're not the one who asked about the biscuits.
Oh, and Nut.: your skype thing always says 'pending contact request' for me.
Lol it was me that asked about the biscuits so you're in luck there... However, I don't know about this premade spread?! The biscuits are so good, I brought a few home from work with me today.
Lol it was me that asked about the biscuits so you're in luck there... However, I don't know about this premade spread?! The biscuits are so good, I brought a few home from work with me today.
It's like nutella or peanut butter, but it's made of biscuit!
Thank you; you've been really kind to actually help me out.
Spoiler
Yeah, I really need some medicine. Hopefully you can see how I feel, and that I really need medication not CBT.
Thank you, so, so much! I will try to take care as much as possible.
Hi,
I've read everything you wrote in your spoiler and am thinking about it all really carefully to try to see the best way forward for you and what medications you could ask about. So I'm not going to write loads today. I'll write to you tomorrow by private message.
I don't think you're weird or anything! I think you are trying very hard to see a way through everything and dealing with lots of complex and confusing stuff. Its actually really brilliant that you are communicating. Respect.
I totally agree that CBT is probably not appropriate for you at this moment. Its probably best to start by dealing with the hallucinations and stuff.
I wish people could be just a little less predictable sometimes! It's my college leavers part tonight so i'm throwing an after party for a few friends and suprise suprise one of them can't make it. They waited until the last minuet (literally) to tell me as always. It's just so rude! They've obviously known for at least a day cos they had time to change their coach but they still wait until after i've planned and got everything. I think i'm just not going to bother anymore. I hate to go against my CBT but it really seems like she's trying to avoid me. This keeps happening and she always waits until so late to tell me. Really isn't helping since I was already starting to freak out and i'm not on the coach with any of my friends. I don't like people from college and I don't like large crowds and i'm stuck with BOTH!
Good luck tonight, I hope it is okay. Try listen to whatever you've been doing in CBT, I seriously doubt that they are trying to avoid you, perhaps whatever has happened to make them unable to come has been shocking and they haven't been thinking properly so haven't thought of letting you know before. I really hope you have a good night
I've read everything you wrote in your spoiler and am thinking about it all really carefully to try to see the best way forward for you and what medications you could ask about. So I'm not going to write loads today. I'll write to you tomorrow by private message.
I don't think you're weird or anything! I think you are trying very hard to see a way through everything and dealing with lots of complex and confusing stuff. Its actually really brilliant that you are communicating. Respect.
I totally agree that CBT is probably not appropriate for you at this moment. Its probably best to start by dealing with the hallucinations and stuff.
Anyway, as I said, I'll write tomorrow.
Look after yourself,
I would tell you more about myself but I actually can't; a moderator whose real name is Jack reported me to my school, and I don't want that to happen again. The school was going to kick me out and send me to a school where kids have severe difficulties, so I lied to the school by saying that I "just" have depression. Also, the government monitor the internet now and I don't want my name to be red-flagged, though it probably already has been.
I don't know if my brain is trying to fight back but I keep on saying that I'm fine, however in truth I'm not. I keep on telling myself that I'm weak (in a more aggressive-demeaning way).
I'm trying to but I can't, or that I just don't want to. I can communicate excellently online; real life communication is horrible I am 100% asocial.
I'm just terrified about what to tell the counsellor. I really need help with that.
That would be an amazing thing if you did do that; I'll never forget it.
Last exam was today . That went well too. But now I've got a bleak future ahead. While many people are so excited for the summer and partying, going on holiday, and hanging around with friends, I haven't got anything . I do have my prom next week but for some reason I'm not looking forward to it . That is next week but after that it is all empty. Nothing good at all. I don't know whether it is my fault or not I didn't manage to make close friends during the last few years. Ok so my parents had stupid rules, didn't support me with it and those people in school weren't really my type and I was bullied, but surely it is my fault for not having in interest in music and football and trying to make sure I can fit in as well as I can? What 18 year old has no social life? Everyone my age spends a significant amount of time with friends whether outside or in, or with their cousins as an alternative. But here you have me with no cousins around my age and with no friends. On top of that my anger and violent thoughts are beginning to come back big time after suppressing them for ages. Doesn't make for a good summer at all. What will I say to people when I'm asked what I'm up to, or how my summer was? Or what will I say to my future children about my childhood?
Last exam was today . That went well too. But now I've got a bleak future ahead. While many people are so excited for the summer and partying, going on holiday, and hanging around with friends, I haven't got anything . I do have my prom next week but for some reason I'm not looking forward to it . That is next week but after that it is all empty. Nothing good at all. I don't know whether it is my fault or not I didn't manage to make close friends during the last few years. Ok so my parents had stupid rules, didn't support me with it and those people in school weren't really my type and I was bullied, but surely it is my fault for not having in interest in music and football and trying to make sure I can fit in as well as I can? What 18 year old has no social life? Everyone my age spends a significant amount of time with friends whether outside or in, or with their cousins as an alternative. But here you have me with no cousins around my age and with no friends. On top of that my anger and violent thoughts are beginning to come back big time after suppressing them for ages. Doesn't make for a good summer at all. What will I say to people when I'm asked what I'm up to, or how my summer was? Or what will I say to my future children about my childhood?
Or am I being stupid yet again?
You can easily shrug off questions on how your summer was, I've been doing it for years. There's also no need for you to lie about your childhood. You can say that you had periods of time you weren't happy. You can even use it to try ensure they know that they can talk to you. There are positives to everything. I hope you're okay
Last exam was today . That went well too. But now I've got a bleak future ahead. While many people are so excited for the summer and partying, going on holiday, and hanging around with friends, I haven't got anything . I do have my prom next week but for some reason I'm not looking forward to it . That is next week but after that it is all empty. Nothing good at all. I don't know whether it is my fault or not I didn't manage to make close friends during the last few years. Ok so my parents had stupid rules, didn't support me with it and those people in school weren't really my type and I was bullied, but surely it is my fault for not having in interest in music and football and trying to make sure I can fit in as well as I can? What 18 year old has no social life? Everyone my age spends a significant amount of time with friends whether outside or in, or with their cousins as an alternative. But here you have me with no cousins around my age and with no friends. On top of that my anger and violent thoughts are beginning to come back big time after suppressing them for ages. Doesn't make for a good summer at all. What will I say to people when I'm asked what I'm up to, or how my summer was? Or what will I say to my future children about my childhood?
Or am I being stupid yet again?
Honestly I wouldn't worry about that - I had absolutely no social life, or even any friends, when I was 18: I'd closed myself off from everyone, gone off to a different college to isolate myself: things change when you get to uni, I've now got a great group of friends who really care about me.
Don't get too worked up over your social life, because you've still got the best years of your life coming up.