I'm size 8 so not a real woman?

Is anyone else tired of being told that they aren't real?!

People constantly post on the internet talking about real women who are size 12 and above. Does this mean that, at size 8, I don't exist or something? It seems so odd that people go out to promote themselves as being a certain size so should be accepted for who they are, yet at the same time they slate people smaller than them.

Why can't people realise that the size of clothing you wear is also dependent on your body shape and height? It's like it's ok to wear larger sizes (though not necessarily be fat, some people are just tall) but not smaller ones. It seems like telling someone they are overweight is signing your own death warrant, but it's perfectly ok to say someone is thin or skinny in a malicious way.

I'll try to find an example, but I see it all the time on facebook when people comment on images posted by fashion pages saying that the girl (usually a blogger who looks perfectly healthy) is too thin, looks ill and has no curves and no man will ever want her. It's such an awful thing to say. I'll look for an example but comments like that are usually taken down pretty quickly, however they appear a lot.

Any other people out there in TSR world who are fed up of being told they don't exist?

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Reply 1

rainbow.panda

I know how you feel, I'm insulted by the notion that skinny women are not "real". Last time I checked I am not a fake woman!

It's pretty pathetic, many people can have small dress sizes and be perfectly healthy. I'm a size 6 myself, as I am small framed and my weight has always been on the lower end of healthy (and even underweight) since I was born, but that's just the way I am and I have no health problems. In fact the only reason I'm not underweight is because I went on the pill! I'm not particularly curvy but that why should that matter? We come in all shapes and sizes and we all deserve respect.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

Ripper-Roo

What people need to get into their skulls is that there shouldn't be an agreed criteria for how other people should look as everyone likes different things.

Reply 3

Tyrion_Lannister

I agree. I'm a size 8-10 usually, and I hate it. I feel caught in the middle, because I'm very hourglass and so not 'skinny' but I'm still small and so not welcome on the 'real women have curves' group. Not that I want to be. Why does it have to be one better than the other, why can't we accept all sizes can be beautiful.

Reply 4

Architecture-er

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

Well the 'real women have curves' line is inevitably thrown about by women on the wrong side of curvy, so I wouldn't get too hung up about it :lol:

Reply 5

It's****ingWOODY

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

For me size 8-10 is perfect in many cases, it's more about the shape than the size but a curvey size 8 is gorgeous.
A lot of people these days confuse "curvey" with "round and overweight", but most men see curvey as an hourglass figure and a nice round bum.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 6

Changing Skies

I know what you mean. I'm fed up of hearing how "men prefer girls with curves". People seem to think it's completely wrong to criticise someone for being slightly overweight, but it's absolutely fine to call someone 'too skinny'. I can't help the way I am and it does hurt my feelings! :tongue:

Reply 7

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Architecture-er

Well the 'real women have curves' line is inevitably thrown about by women on the wrong side of curvy, so I wouldn't get too hung up about it :lol:

True, but I've been insulted by both and it gets annoying :tongue:

People need to stop thinking only one body type is acceptable :colonhash:

It's really annoying..

Reply 8

Hopple

It's annoying that thin people are somewhat looked down upon. Look around, people, we are getting fat, overweight, unhealthy, obese, diabetes, heart attacks and all sorts of things. Now is not the time to remove pressure to be healthy just because a small minority of people go anorexic. By all means, help such people, but don't use them as an excuse for being fat.

Reply 9

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by WoodyMKC

Thank you. I agree, curvy is a shape! That's what usually gets said whenever I moan about anything difficult by women but in a nasty manner, I get something like "wow it must be really difficult to have boobs and a small waist" or "yeah must be real hard looking like that" and it always feels like I'm not allowed to ever feel frustrated getting clothes to fit is hard or that shirts are always a pain. I wish people didn't need to put each other down.

Size 8s.

Original post by rainbow.panda

Agreed, I'm a size 6-8 and threads about skinny women tend to have comments such as a woman isn't a real women unless she has huge curves. It really does not help my self esteem.

Reply 12

Architecture-er

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

True, but I've been insulted by both and it gets annoying :tongue:

People need to stop thinking only one body type is acceptable :colonhash:

It's really annoying..

Mm, sometimes I'm glad that men don't have their physiques scrutinised so much :erm:

Having said that, maybe it would prompt me to chisel out some muscle at some point.. oh well

Reply 13

Bapbabelubah

tbh - I'm a size 14/16, and I get upset when I hear things like that. For me 'a real woman' can be a girl that's size 2 or 22 - if they accept themselves, why would I care? A real woman is a woman that is confident, smart, funny. She doesn't have to have curves, just like she doesn't have to be skinny. It's completely individual.
I used to be a size 10 before, and I wouldn't say I was a worse version of a woman than I am now.

Reply 14

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Architecture-er

Mm, sometimes I'm glad that men don't have their physiques scrutinised so much :erm:

Having said that, maybe it would prompt me to chisel out some muscle at some point.. oh well

Yeah, that's something I think men have better. Men aren't scrutinised for their bodies, other than a few meatheads insisting muscles are the best but aside from that you're pretty much alright. Women always have their bodies criticised, whatever they look like, and it's so unfair.

Reply 15

Architecture-er

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

Yeah, but most of you have awful bodies :ninja:

(runs away)

edit: forgive me, I'm working late in the office and feeling controversial :sogood:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 16

Seb.

People say it because they think it makes them a better person, and usually say it to comfort obese people. The whole phrase is usually not even brought up when talking about someone who's actually curvy, it's usually violated and said in relation to someone obese.

They don't realise that it is an insult to thin people, and neither do they realise that someone actually finds thin people more appealing than curvy people.

For me, anyone who says something in the lines of "real women have curves" or "size 8 is not a real woman" is a blithering idiot. (and the chances are that he's a white knight and he's trying to suck up to someone with curves)

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 17

It's****ingWOODY

Original post by Mr Smurf

Size 8s.

Sorry, off-topic, but your signature - who dat GIRL??? :eek:

Reply 18

arkhamz

It's like the same threads get posted multiple times every week. Anyway I wouldn't take it seriously, you know it's silly and just a defense mechanism so why get butt-hurt over it?

Reply 19

Jessaay!

Original post by OneDayDoctor

I've had the same problem all my life. I'm about 5 foot 7 and I'm a size 6 or 8, depending on the shop, and I'm pretty small and thin in every dimension. I have a small chest, but I'm fairly in-proportion overall. I eat as healthily as I can, and I eat quite a lot. I exercise a lot. I look after myself and my appearance, yet I'm often told indirectly I'm not a real woman. I've had people point out how skinny I am maliciously in the past. I've had people tell me I need to eat something. It's taken me until I'm 22, almost entirely because of the natural progression in confidence you get as you grow older, to accept that I'm not and will never be curvy but it doesn't mean I am not attractive, or I'm not a real woman. I actually believe a lot of the comments gave me quite a lot of other issues. Until very recently I had little sex drive, never felt as though I could be sexy and this had impacts on my relationships and I realised it's not actually something wrong with me, just the way people promote 'sexiness' as being large chested, curvy women.

People seem to think they have to over-compensate. In order to seem as though they accept people who are not ideal, hourglass shaped barbies, and in order to discourage eating disorders they think the only thing they can do is promote bigger body shapes. 'Real women have curves' is not true. Yeah yeah oestrogen causes us to have dimensions different to men, but that's different to being curvy in the eyes of the media. People try to promote equality, fairness and correctness but do it in the wrong way.

Bottom line- There is no 'real woman', I find it completely hypocritical that their efforts to get rid of conformity in the word's view of 'beautiful' was to replace it with a new, uniform image of beauty that is equally difficult to obtain for many women. A 'real woman' should be one who is confident, happy and healthy, one who looks after herself and is proud of the way she looks but also accepts there are other ways to look that are equally beautiful.. Ugh, I could go on all day.