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The Manchester United Thread X
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Original post by NathanW18
I don't think Sir Alex will do much at all. He needs to leave Moyes to get on and do his own thing. I'm sure Moyes will call him if he needs advice, but I can't see it being a consistent thing.
I have doubts mainly because of Mourinho. Chelsea already have a really good side there.
These are the main problems. We were dominated in so many games last season. Against teams that we should be dominating as well. I especially remember the game against Southampton at Old Trafford. They played us off the pitch and we were lucky to win the game.
We need to control the midfield better against the lesser sides. We also need more steal against the better sides. Sir Alex tried to use Jones as that player, but the guy isn't a midfielder. Someone that is good defensively, but is also comfortable with playing the ball quickly when he's closed down would be fantastic.
I like Kagawa and I think Sir Alex bought him before we even knew that Van Persie was available. He would have played behind Rooney. Trying to play Van Persie, Rooney and Kagawa in the same side is difficult. Van Persie is always going to be the #9 and Rooney and Kagawa are both going to be trying to play centrally behind him. If Rooney goes it makes things easier. I would prefer to see Kagawa central, but with Rooney here, I don't know if it will happen.
I don't think he should be loaned out, because his goals are really important. We need options off the bench. It's a shame for him, because he deserves to start in his own right, but it's nice to have other options.
As a striker, I prefer Hernandez. I don't really know what Welbeck is right now. He's not really a winger and his shooting isn't great. He's not consistent enough to play as a #9 for us. His all round play is pretty good, but he really needs to work on his shooting.
United haven't played a striker like him consistently since Van Nistelrooy. When he left, our game improved and we were more exciting to watch. Well, not over the last two years or so, but it was nicer when Ronaldo was still around. I prefer our current type of forwards, because they're more useful in the build up play.
Loved Ruud when he was here, though.
I think it's nice when your players are able to interchange and nobody in the front 4 needs to stay in the same position. Van Persie is good enough to score the majority of chances that he gets and he's not limited to just staying near the area.
I miss watching Saha, Rooney, Ronaldo & Giggs play together back in 2006/07.
I have doubts mainly because of Mourinho. Chelsea already have a really good side there.
These are the main problems. We were dominated in so many games last season. Against teams that we should be dominating as well. I especially remember the game against Southampton at Old Trafford. They played us off the pitch and we were lucky to win the game.
We need to control the midfield better against the lesser sides. We also need more steal against the better sides. Sir Alex tried to use Jones as that player, but the guy isn't a midfielder. Someone that is good defensively, but is also comfortable with playing the ball quickly when he's closed down would be fantastic.
I like Kagawa and I think Sir Alex bought him before we even knew that Van Persie was available. He would have played behind Rooney. Trying to play Van Persie, Rooney and Kagawa in the same side is difficult. Van Persie is always going to be the #9 and Rooney and Kagawa are both going to be trying to play centrally behind him. If Rooney goes it makes things easier. I would prefer to see Kagawa central, but with Rooney here, I don't know if it will happen.
I don't think he should be loaned out, because his goals are really important. We need options off the bench. It's a shame for him, because he deserves to start in his own right, but it's nice to have other options.
As a striker, I prefer Hernandez. I don't really know what Welbeck is right now. He's not really a winger and his shooting isn't great. He's not consistent enough to play as a #9 for us. His all round play is pretty good, but he really needs to work on his shooting.
United haven't played a striker like him consistently since Van Nistelrooy. When he left, our game improved and we were more exciting to watch. Well, not over the last two years or so, but it was nicer when Ronaldo was still around. I prefer our current type of forwards, because they're more useful in the build up play.
Loved Ruud when he was here, though.
I think it's nice when your players are able to interchange and nobody in the front 4 needs to stay in the same position. Van Persie is good enough to score the majority of chances that he gets and he's not limited to just staying near the area.
I miss watching Saha, Rooney, Ronaldo & Giggs play together back in 2006/07.
Ok. Good post.
I generally agree with what you've said.
Btw, what would you expect of Man Utd in Moyes' second season?
Original post by ledleyking123
Have barca rejected the second bid?
There were rumours that it has been rejected but nothing official that I've seen
Wish Rooney was happy to play in midfield, would solve a lot of out problems imo 
The spine of our team would include; DDG, Vidic, Rio, Carrick, Rooney, Kagawa and Van Persie. All quality players. I'm still one of the few that would prefer Rooney in behind Van Persie with Kagawa on the left. Maybe because I'm too used to Rooney in that central position and it's hard to imagine something else. Still wouldn't be surprised if he has a change of heart.
The spine of our team would include; DDG, Vidic, Rio, Carrick, Rooney, Kagawa and Van Persie. All quality players. I'm still one of the few that would prefer Rooney in behind Van Persie with Kagawa on the left. Maybe because I'm too used to Rooney in that central position and it's hard to imagine something else. Still wouldn't be surprised if he has a change of heart.
Original post by River85
When touting him, it was also out of mischief. I was attempt to evoke the transfer rumours (and the wishes of many fans) of last summer, which had the likes of Tiote and Cabaye going for peanuts.
Not really sure who will be the alternative if the Fabregas deal doesn't happen, which seems most likely. As has been said, we need someone of quality because we did get through a lot of games last season with the combination of a De Gea save and RVP goal rather than actually on the run of play. Unless we go for an enforcer, the alternative a slick passer isn't going be easy to find or cheap to buy.
Original post by Kenan and Kel
Wish Rooney was happy to play in midfield, would solve a lot of out problems imo
The spine of our team would include; DDG, Vidic, Rio, Carrick, Rooney, Kagawa and Van Persie. All quality players. I'm still one of the few that would prefer Rooney in behind Van Persie with Kagawa on the left. Maybe because I'm too used to Rooney in that central position and it's hard to imagine something else. Still wouldn't be surprised if he has a change of heart.
The spine of our team would include; DDG, Vidic, Rio, Carrick, Rooney, Kagawa and Van Persie. All quality players. I'm still one of the few that would prefer Rooney in behind Van Persie with Kagawa on the left. Maybe because I'm too used to Rooney in that central position and it's hard to imagine something else. Still wouldn't be surprised if he has a change of heart.
If I were Moyes, I still wouldn't give into Rooney and play him up front.
The team I want to see;
De Gea
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick [New CM/Cleverley]
Zaha Kagawa Rooney
RVP
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick [New CM/Cleverley]
Zaha Kagawa Rooney
RVP
De Gea
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick ------- New CM
Kagawa
Nani ---- RvP -- Rooney
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick ------- New CM
Kagawa
Nani ---- RvP -- Rooney
What i'd aim for, personally.
what I want to see-
Van Der Sar
Rafeal Rio Vidic Baines
Carrick fabregas
Bale Rooney Ronaldo
RVP
Rafeal Rio Vidic Baines
Carrick fabregas
Bale Rooney Ronaldo
RVP
Original post by JM1987
what I want to see-
Van Der Sar
Rafeal Rio Vidic Baines
Carrick fabregas
Bale Rooney Ronaldo
RVP
Rafeal Rio Vidic Baines
Carrick fabregas
Bale Rooney Ronaldo
RVP
Real Madrid's probably more likely of starting that team than us
Original post by JM1987
what I want to see-
Van Der Sar
Rafeal Rio Vidic Baines
Carrick fabregas
Bale Rooney Ronaldo
RVP
Rafeal Rio Vidic Baines
Carrick fabregas
Bale Rooney Ronaldo
RVP
Van Der Sar?
Original post by rohitbd
Van Der Sar?
God knows where he got van der sar from might as well add scholes back in lol
Posted from TSR Mobile
Why can't we play a 4-2-2-2 and fit Rooney in upfront?
De Gea
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick New CM
Kagawa--------------Nani
RvP------ Rooney
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick New CM
Kagawa--------------Nani
RvP------ Rooney
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by manchesterunited15
Why can't we play a 4-2-2-2 and fit Rooney in upfront?
De Gea
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick New CM
Kagawa--------------Nani
RvP------ Rooney
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick New CM
Kagawa--------------Nani
RvP------ Rooney
In modern football, not many top teams play with two strikers any more. Rooney is much better behind the main striker. I prefer Hernandez and RVP as CF's.
Original post by Manchester United
In modern football, not many top teams play with two strikers any more. Rooney is much better behind the main striker. I prefer Hernandez and RVP as CF's.
City did it when they won the title
I agree Rooney is better behind the striker, IF there's only 1 striker. But with 2 up top, he's better there.(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by manchesterunited15
City did it when they won the title I agree Rooney is better behind the striker, IF there's only 1 striker. But with 2 up top, he's better there.
I agree Rooney is better behind the striker, IF there's only 1 striker. But with 2 up top, he's better there.Another problem with only having two creative players (in your case Kagawa and Nani), if neither are consistent, then the front two can be a waste. Nani and Kagawa aren't consistently good - albeit they have had injuries. So I think at the moment it's better to play with three creative players (4-2-3-1).
Original post by manchesterunited15
Why can't we play a 4-2-2-2 and fit Rooney in upfront?
De Gea
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick New CM
Kagawa--------------Nani
RvP------ Rooney
Rafael Vidic Ferdinand Evra
Carrick New CM
Kagawa--------------Nani
RvP------ Rooney
Original post by manchesterunited15
City did it when they won the title
It is a good idea and should be tested against some weak teams.
But the problem with 4-2-2-2 is: due to the narrow wingers/AMs, there is a lack of width. So it requires the strikers to move out of position to the wings to provide width or the fullbacks to push up and act like wingers. Furthermore, for the formation to have a massive impact against the opposition, it requires the front four to constantly interchange positions (which drags the defenders out of position and leaves a lot of gaps to exploit).
However, there are weaknesses. If the front four lose the ball, there's going to be two holding midfielders to protect the defence from counter-attacks. Carrick is one of them. And as you already know, he isn't the most mobile midfielder around, which can lead to Man Utd struggling with counter attacks frequently throughout the game.
A way to combat this problem is that the wingers track back to form a bank of four midfielders to protect the defence. But for this to happen, it requires the wingers to have a lot of stamina. This is why it worked for Man City when they won the title; Milner and Silva worked hard to track back and protect the fullbacks. But as you know, Silva's form eventually dropped. And part of that was down to the fatigue of constantly tracking back.
I'm not sure Nani and Kagawa have the stamina and workrate to track back constantly in a 4-2-2-2 and protect the defence when the opposition counter.
Also, the requirement for the front four to frequently interchange positions means that they can be a lot of confusion as to who tracks back down which wing.
Another weakness is that the fullbacks having to push forward to provide width can leave a lot of space behind for the opponent to exploit in counter attacks. This would normally not be too much of a problem with the holding midfielder protecting that space a bit. But here's the problem...Carrick. Again, he's not a very mobile player and would struggle to fill in as a fullback during counter attacks from the opposition.
However, with 4-4-1-1 or 4-4-2, the wingers will generally stay down their side of the field and work with the fullbacks (overlaps) to attack the opposition. It's a lot more simple compared to 4-2-2-2.
If you watched B.Munchen (who played 4-4-1-1) last season, look at their left wing for instance. Alaba provides the overlap for Ribery. Then when Bayern lose the ball, Ribery tracks back to protect Alaba. Very straightforward and simple.
With 4-2-2-2, it'd be far more complex to pull it off properly. But with training, anything is possible.
And don't forget...while Man City scrapped the title, how did they do in the Champions League?
(edited 10 years ago)
This is such a funny joke! I know its long but trust me it'll be worth it.
Woodward: Hello, Rossel, ol’ chap!
Rossel: Hello, Mr. Ed.
Moyes: HullorRossel!
Rossel: What, Mr. Moyes?
Moyes: I said, HullorRossel!
Rossel: What?
Woodward: You must pardon our new manager’s Scottish accent. He only greets you.
Wenger: Good evening everybody.
Everybody: Good evening, Arsene.
Everybody: Hello, Cesc.
Cesc: Hola, everybody!
Woodward: Good, now that everyone has greeted everyone else, we shall quickly move on to business. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What?
Rossel: That is how ridiculous it sounds.
Woodward: Enough of these childish games. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What? Again?
Rossel: I could go on all day, you know. This is fun.
Woodward: Enough of this. How much is it going to cost us, Rossel?
Rossel: More than you are willing to pay, Woodward.
Woodward: And what are we willing to pay, Rossel?
Rossel: You tell me, Woodward.
Woodward: 25 million.
Rossel: Ha!
Woodward: 30 million.
Rossel: Tsk tsk.
Wenger: 20 million.
Rossel: Eh?
Wenger: Come on, man! We are Arsenal.
Rossel: You have my sympathies, Arsene. But not my player. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: The joke is on you, Rossel. We have first option on Cesc, remember?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell Cesc. Now, however, Barcelona does not want to
sell. Manchester United wants to buy. There is a difference.
Wenger: Damn. *French expletive removed*
Rossel: As we were talking, Mr. Ed…
Woodward: 30 million 500 thousand.
Rossel: Yawn!
Woodward: 31 million.
Rossel: Yawn again.
Moyes: Lettimgo Ed.
Woodward: Not after coming this far, David.
Moyes: Cesc der yer wanttar play for Manchester Yonited?
Cesc: Eh? I cannot understand you, Mr. Moyes.
Moyes: Yer cannat understand me, ye?
Cesc: I cannot, Sir.
Moyes: ’twill be perfect then. We will get along jerst fine.
Woodward: Cesc, United is a great club. We have a brilliant tradition. Any player would love to play for United. You should too.
Cesc: Well, I don’t know. You know that I have a history with Arsenal.
Woodward: Have no worries about that, Cesc. We have a history of former Arsenal captains coming to our club and winning titles.
Wenger: Give us Robin van Persie and we will give you Cesc.
Woodward: Cesc is not yours to give, Arsene.
Wenger: But we have first option on him.
Woodward: Rossel, would you please indulge Mr. Wenger?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell…
Wenger: God damn English! *French expletive removed*
Moyes: Cesc, I will let yer play anywherr yer want. Even as the goalkeeper.
Cesc: It does sound tempting…
Moyes: And I will give yer any jersey number yer want. Even mine.
Cesc: Well…
Woodward: There you go, Rossel. Personal terms have been agreed. 31 million then. It is done.
Rossel: No.
Woodward: Oh come on now, man! Be a sport!
Rossel: How about a player of yours?
Woodward: Who do you have in mind?
Rossel: Rooney.
Moyes: Wayne Rooney is er Manchester Yenited player and will remain so.
Woodward: Shut up, David. This is not a press conference.
Moyes: Yerright. Sell the bloody bugger!
Woodward: So if it is Rooney, then you owe us Cesc and 2 million. Deal?
Rossel: Well, I don’t know. 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: So apart from the money, the deal is on, then?
Rossel: Well, 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: Alright then, tell you what; since you’re my good friend, I will sweeten the deal for you.
Rossel: I’m all ears.
Woodward: Give us Cesc. In return, we give you Rooney plus two million*
Rossel: I believe gentlemen, that we have a deal.
Woodward: Good thing that this was a telephone conversation.
Rossel: Why do you say that?
Woodward: Well, you haven’t seen the star.
Rossel: What star?
Woodward: The asterisk that generally means ‘conditions apply’.
Rossel: What conditions?
Woodward: Remember the two million that we gave you? Well, it does not come free.
Rossel: What does it come with then?
Woodward: Bebe. Goobye, Rossel.
The transfer ends. Manchester United ends up with Cesc Fabregas, Barcelona with Wayne Rooney, two million and Bebe. Sandro Rossel ends up ashen-faced and Arsene Wenger with a ringing in his ear.
Woodward: Hello, Rossel, ol’ chap!
Rossel: Hello, Mr. Ed.
Moyes: HullorRossel!
Rossel: What, Mr. Moyes?
Moyes: I said, HullorRossel!
Rossel: What?
Woodward: You must pardon our new manager’s Scottish accent. He only greets you.
Wenger: Good evening everybody.
Everybody: Good evening, Arsene.
Everybody: Hello, Cesc.
Cesc: Hola, everybody!
Woodward: Good, now that everyone has greeted everyone else, we shall quickly move on to business. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What?
Rossel: That is how ridiculous it sounds.
Woodward: Enough of these childish games. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What? Again?
Rossel: I could go on all day, you know. This is fun.
Woodward: Enough of this. How much is it going to cost us, Rossel?
Rossel: More than you are willing to pay, Woodward.
Woodward: And what are we willing to pay, Rossel?
Rossel: You tell me, Woodward.
Woodward: 25 million.
Rossel: Ha!
Woodward: 30 million.
Rossel: Tsk tsk.
Wenger: 20 million.
Rossel: Eh?
Wenger: Come on, man! We are Arsenal.
Rossel: You have my sympathies, Arsene. But not my player. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: The joke is on you, Rossel. We have first option on Cesc, remember?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell Cesc. Now, however, Barcelona does not want to
sell. Manchester United wants to buy. There is a difference.
Wenger: Damn. *French expletive removed*
Rossel: As we were talking, Mr. Ed…
Woodward: 30 million 500 thousand.
Rossel: Yawn!
Woodward: 31 million.
Rossel: Yawn again.
Moyes: Lettimgo Ed.
Woodward: Not after coming this far, David.
Moyes: Cesc der yer wanttar play for Manchester Yonited?
Cesc: Eh? I cannot understand you, Mr. Moyes.
Moyes: Yer cannat understand me, ye?
Cesc: I cannot, Sir.
Moyes: ’twill be perfect then. We will get along jerst fine.
Woodward: Cesc, United is a great club. We have a brilliant tradition. Any player would love to play for United. You should too.
Cesc: Well, I don’t know. You know that I have a history with Arsenal.
Woodward: Have no worries about that, Cesc. We have a history of former Arsenal captains coming to our club and winning titles.
Wenger: Give us Robin van Persie and we will give you Cesc.
Woodward: Cesc is not yours to give, Arsene.
Wenger: But we have first option on him.
Woodward: Rossel, would you please indulge Mr. Wenger?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell…
Wenger: God damn English! *French expletive removed*
Moyes: Cesc, I will let yer play anywherr yer want. Even as the goalkeeper.
Cesc: It does sound tempting…
Moyes: And I will give yer any jersey number yer want. Even mine.
Cesc: Well…
Woodward: There you go, Rossel. Personal terms have been agreed. 31 million then. It is done.
Rossel: No.
Woodward: Oh come on now, man! Be a sport!
Rossel: How about a player of yours?
Woodward: Who do you have in mind?
Rossel: Rooney.
Moyes: Wayne Rooney is er Manchester Yenited player and will remain so.
Woodward: Shut up, David. This is not a press conference.
Moyes: Yerright. Sell the bloody bugger!
Woodward: So if it is Rooney, then you owe us Cesc and 2 million. Deal?
Rossel: Well, I don’t know. 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: So apart from the money, the deal is on, then?
Rossel: Well, 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: Alright then, tell you what; since you’re my good friend, I will sweeten the deal for you.
Rossel: I’m all ears.
Woodward: Give us Cesc. In return, we give you Rooney plus two million*
Rossel: I believe gentlemen, that we have a deal.
Woodward: Good thing that this was a telephone conversation.
Rossel: Why do you say that?
Woodward: Well, you haven’t seen the star.
Rossel: What star?
Woodward: The asterisk that generally means ‘conditions apply’.
Rossel: What conditions?
Woodward: Remember the two million that we gave you? Well, it does not come free.
Rossel: What does it come with then?
Woodward: Bebe. Goobye, Rossel.
The transfer ends. Manchester United ends up with Cesc Fabregas, Barcelona with Wayne Rooney, two million and Bebe. Sandro Rossel ends up ashen-faced and Arsene Wenger with a ringing in his ear.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by poiuytrewq54321
This is such a funny joke! I know its long but trust me it'll be worth it.
Woodward: Hello, Rossel, ol’ chap!
Rossel: Hello, Mr. Ed.
Moyes: HullorRossel!
Rossel: What, Mr. Moyes?
Moyes: I said, HullorRossel!
Rossel: What?
Woodward: You must pardon our new manager’s Scottish accent. He only greets you.
Wenger: Good evening everybody.
Everybody: Good evening, Arsene.
Everybody: Hello, Cesc.
Cesc: Hola, everybody!
Woodward: Good, now that everyone has greeted everyone else, we shall quickly move on to business. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What?
Rossel: That is how ridiculous it sounds.
Woodward: Enough of these childish games. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What? Again?
Rossel: I could go on all day, you know. This is fun.
Woodward: Enough of this. How much is it going to cost us, Rossel?
Rossel: More than you are willing to pay, Woodward.
Woodward: And what are we willing to pay, Rossel?
Rossel: You tell me, Woodward.
Woodward: 25 million.
Rossel: Ha!
Woodward: 30 million.
Rossel: Tsk tsk.
Wenger: 20 million.
Rossel: Eh?
Wenger: Come on, man! We are Arsenal.
Rossel: You have my sympathies, Arsene. But not my player. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: The joke is on you, Rossel. We have first option on Cesc, remember?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell Cesc. Now, however, Barcelona does not want to
sell. Manchester United wants to buy. There is a difference.
Wenger: Damn. *French expletive removed*
Rossel: As we were talking, Mr. Ed…
Woodward: 30 million 500 thousand.
Rossel: Yawn!
Woodward: 31 million.
Rossel: Yawn again.
Moyes: Lettimgo Ed.
Woodward: Not after coming this far, David.
Moyes: Cesc der yer wanttar play for Manchester Yonited?
Cesc: Eh? I cannot understand you, Mr. Moyes.
Moyes: Yer cannat understand me, ye?
Cesc: I cannot, Sir.
Moyes: ’twill be perfect then. We will get along jerst fine.
Woodward: Cesc, United is a great club. We have a brilliant tradition. Any player would love to play for United. You should too.
Cesc: Well, I don’t know. You know that I have a history with Arsenal.
Woodward: Have no worries about that, Cesc. We have a history of former Arsenal captains coming to our club and winning titles.
Wenger: Give us Robin van Persie and we will give you Cesc.
Woodward: Cesc is not yours to give, Arsene.
Wenger: But we have first option on him.
Woodward: Rossel, would you please indulge Mr. Wenger?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell…
Wenger: God damn English! *French expletive removed*
Moyes: Cesc, I will let yer play anywherr yer want. Even as the goalkeeper.
Cesc: It does sound tempting…
Moyes: And I will give yer any jersey number yer want. Even mine.
Cesc: Well…
Woodward: There you go, Rossel. Personal terms have been agreed. 31 million then. It is done.
Rossel: No.
Woodward: Oh come on now, man! Be a sport!
Rossel: How about a player of yours?
Woodward: Who do you have in mind?
Rossel: Rooney.
Moyes: Wayne Rooney is er Manchester Yenited player and will remain so.
Woodward: Shut up, David. This is not a press conference.
Moyes: Yerright. Sell the bloody bugger!
Woodward: So if it is Rooney, then you owe us Cesc and 2 million. Deal?
Rossel: Well, I don’t know. 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: So apart from the money, the deal is on, then?
Rossel: Well, 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: Alright then, tell you what; since you’re my good friend, I will sweeten the deal for you.
Rossel: I’m all ears.
Woodward: Give us Cesc. In return, we give you Rooney plus two million*
Rossel: I believe gentlemen, that we have a deal.
Woodward: Good thing that this was a telephone conversation.
Rossel: Why do you say that?
Woodward: Well, you haven’t seen the star.
Rossel: What star?
Woodward: The asterisk that generally means ‘conditions apply’.
Rossel: What conditions?
Woodward: Remember the two million that we gave you? Well, it does not come free.
Rossel: What does it come with then?
Woodward: Bebe. Goobye, Rossel.
The transfer ends. Manchester United ends up with Cesc Fabregas, Barcelona with Wayne Rooney, two million and Bebe. Sandro Rossel ends up ashen-faced and Arsene Wenger with a ringing in his ear.
Woodward: Hello, Rossel, ol’ chap!
Rossel: Hello, Mr. Ed.
Moyes: HullorRossel!
Rossel: What, Mr. Moyes?
Moyes: I said, HullorRossel!
Rossel: What?
Woodward: You must pardon our new manager’s Scottish accent. He only greets you.
Wenger: Good evening everybody.
Everybody: Good evening, Arsene.
Everybody: Hello, Cesc.
Cesc: Hola, everybody!
Woodward: Good, now that everyone has greeted everyone else, we shall quickly move on to business. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What?
Rossel: That is how ridiculous it sounds.
Woodward: Enough of these childish games. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What? Again?
Rossel: I could go on all day, you know. This is fun.
Woodward: Enough of this. How much is it going to cost us, Rossel?
Rossel: More than you are willing to pay, Woodward.
Woodward: And what are we willing to pay, Rossel?
Rossel: You tell me, Woodward.
Woodward: 25 million.
Rossel: Ha!
Woodward: 30 million.
Rossel: Tsk tsk.
Wenger: 20 million.
Rossel: Eh?
Wenger: Come on, man! We are Arsenal.
Rossel: You have my sympathies, Arsene. But not my player. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: The joke is on you, Rossel. We have first option on Cesc, remember?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell Cesc. Now, however, Barcelona does not want to
sell. Manchester United wants to buy. There is a difference.
Wenger: Damn. *French expletive removed*
Rossel: As we were talking, Mr. Ed…
Woodward: 30 million 500 thousand.
Rossel: Yawn!
Woodward: 31 million.
Rossel: Yawn again.
Moyes: Lettimgo Ed.
Woodward: Not after coming this far, David.
Moyes: Cesc der yer wanttar play for Manchester Yonited?
Cesc: Eh? I cannot understand you, Mr. Moyes.
Moyes: Yer cannat understand me, ye?
Cesc: I cannot, Sir.
Moyes: ’twill be perfect then. We will get along jerst fine.
Woodward: Cesc, United is a great club. We have a brilliant tradition. Any player would love to play for United. You should too.
Cesc: Well, I don’t know. You know that I have a history with Arsenal.
Woodward: Have no worries about that, Cesc. We have a history of former Arsenal captains coming to our club and winning titles.
Wenger: Give us Robin van Persie and we will give you Cesc.
Woodward: Cesc is not yours to give, Arsene.
Wenger: But we have first option on him.
Woodward: Rossel, would you please indulge Mr. Wenger?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell…
Wenger: God damn English! *French expletive removed*
Moyes: Cesc, I will let yer play anywherr yer want. Even as the goalkeeper.
Cesc: It does sound tempting…
Moyes: And I will give yer any jersey number yer want. Even mine.
Cesc: Well…
Woodward: There you go, Rossel. Personal terms have been agreed. 31 million then. It is done.
Rossel: No.
Woodward: Oh come on now, man! Be a sport!
Rossel: How about a player of yours?
Woodward: Who do you have in mind?
Rossel: Rooney.
Moyes: Wayne Rooney is er Manchester Yenited player and will remain so.
Woodward: Shut up, David. This is not a press conference.
Moyes: Yerright. Sell the bloody bugger!
Woodward: So if it is Rooney, then you owe us Cesc and 2 million. Deal?
Rossel: Well, I don’t know. 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: So apart from the money, the deal is on, then?
Rossel: Well, 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: Alright then, tell you what; since you’re my good friend, I will sweeten the deal for you.
Rossel: I’m all ears.
Woodward: Give us Cesc. In return, we give you Rooney plus two million*
Rossel: I believe gentlemen, that we have a deal.
Woodward: Good thing that this was a telephone conversation.
Rossel: Why do you say that?
Woodward: Well, you haven’t seen the star.
Rossel: What star?
Woodward: The asterisk that generally means ‘conditions apply’.
Rossel: What conditions?
Woodward: Remember the two million that we gave you? Well, it does not come free.
Rossel: What does it come with then?
Woodward: Bebe. Goobye, Rossel.
The transfer ends. Manchester United ends up with Cesc Fabregas, Barcelona with Wayne Rooney, two million and Bebe. Sandro Rossel ends up ashen-faced and Arsene Wenger with a ringing in his ear.
I can't believe I just wasted a part of my life reading that. It was ****ing terrible
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by The Rusty Spork
I can't believe I just wasted a part of my life reading that. It was ****ing terrible
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Mate you have no sense of humour! It was meant to be a joke. People of this thread seem to be too serious at times so I thought this was something different.
Btw thanks for reading and sorry about wasting 5 minutes or so of your time
Original post by poiuytrewq54321
This is such a funny joke! I know its long but trust me it'll be worth it.
Woodward: Hello, Rossel, ol’ chap!
Rossel: Hello, Mr. Ed.
Moyes: HullorRossel!
Rossel: What, Mr. Moyes?
Moyes: I said, HullorRossel!
Rossel: What?
Woodward: You must pardon our new manager’s Scottish accent. He only greets you.
Wenger: Good evening everybody.
Everybody: Good evening, Arsene.
Everybody: Hello, Cesc.
Cesc: Hola, everybody!
Woodward: Good, now that everyone has greeted everyone else, we shall quickly move on to business. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What?
Rossel: That is how ridiculous it sounds.
Woodward: Enough of these childish games. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What? Again?
Rossel: I could go on all day, you know. This is fun.
Woodward: Enough of this. How much is it going to cost us, Rossel?
Rossel: More than you are willing to pay, Woodward.
Woodward: And what are we willing to pay, Rossel?
Rossel: You tell me, Woodward.
Woodward: 25 million.
Rossel: Ha!
Woodward: 30 million.
Rossel: Tsk tsk.
Wenger: 20 million.
Rossel: Eh?
Wenger: Come on, man! We are Arsenal.
Rossel: You have my sympathies, Arsene. But not my player. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: The joke is on you, Rossel. We have first option on Cesc, remember?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell Cesc. Now, however, Barcelona does not want to
sell. Manchester United wants to buy. There is a difference.
Wenger: Damn. *French expletive removed*
Rossel: As we were talking, Mr. Ed…
Woodward: 30 million 500 thousand.
Rossel: Yawn!
Woodward: 31 million.
Rossel: Yawn again.
Moyes: Lettimgo Ed.
Woodward: Not after coming this far, David.
Moyes: Cesc der yer wanttar play for Manchester Yonited?
Cesc: Eh? I cannot understand you, Mr. Moyes.
Moyes: Yer cannat understand me, ye?
Cesc: I cannot, Sir.
Moyes: ’twill be perfect then. We will get along jerst fine.
Woodward: Cesc, United is a great club. We have a brilliant tradition. Any player would love to play for United. You should too.
Cesc: Well, I don’t know. You know that I have a history with Arsenal.
Woodward: Have no worries about that, Cesc. We have a history of former Arsenal captains coming to our club and winning titles.
Wenger: Give us Robin van Persie and we will give you Cesc.
Woodward: Cesc is not yours to give, Arsene.
Wenger: But we have first option on him.
Woodward: Rossel, would you please indulge Mr. Wenger?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell…
Wenger: God damn English! *French expletive removed*
Moyes: Cesc, I will let yer play anywherr yer want. Even as the goalkeeper.
Cesc: It does sound tempting…
Moyes: And I will give yer any jersey number yer want. Even mine.
Cesc: Well…
Woodward: There you go, Rossel. Personal terms have been agreed. 31 million then. It is done.
Rossel: No.
Woodward: Oh come on now, man! Be a sport!
Rossel: How about a player of yours?
Woodward: Who do you have in mind?
Rossel: Rooney.
Moyes: Wayne Rooney is er Manchester Yenited player and will remain so.
Woodward: Shut up, David. This is not a press conference.
Moyes: Yerright. Sell the bloody bugger!
Woodward: So if it is Rooney, then you owe us Cesc and 2 million. Deal?
Rossel: Well, I don’t know. 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: So apart from the money, the deal is on, then?
Rossel: Well, 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: Alright then, tell you what; since you’re my good friend, I will sweeten the deal for you.
Rossel: I’m all ears.
Woodward: Give us Cesc. In return, we give you Rooney plus two million*
Rossel: I believe gentlemen, that we have a deal.
Woodward: Good thing that this was a telephone conversation.
Rossel: Why do you say that?
Woodward: Well, you haven’t seen the star.
Rossel: What star?
Woodward: The asterisk that generally means ‘conditions apply’.
Rossel: What conditions?
Woodward: Remember the two million that we gave you? Well, it does not come free.
Rossel: What does it come with then?
Woodward: Bebe. Goobye, Rossel.
The transfer ends. Manchester United ends up with Cesc Fabregas, Barcelona with Wayne Rooney, two million and Bebe. Sandro Rossel ends up ashen-faced and Arsene Wenger with a ringing in his ear.
Woodward: Hello, Rossel, ol’ chap!
Rossel: Hello, Mr. Ed.
Moyes: HullorRossel!
Rossel: What, Mr. Moyes?
Moyes: I said, HullorRossel!
Rossel: What?
Woodward: You must pardon our new manager’s Scottish accent. He only greets you.
Wenger: Good evening everybody.
Everybody: Good evening, Arsene.
Everybody: Hello, Cesc.
Cesc: Hola, everybody!
Woodward: Good, now that everyone has greeted everyone else, we shall quickly move on to business. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What?
Rossel: That is how ridiculous it sounds.
Woodward: Enough of these childish games. Rossel, we need Cesc.
Wenger: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Rossel: Rossel, we need Cesc.
Woodward and Wenger: What? Again?
Rossel: I could go on all day, you know. This is fun.
Woodward: Enough of this. How much is it going to cost us, Rossel?
Rossel: More than you are willing to pay, Woodward.
Woodward: And what are we willing to pay, Rossel?
Rossel: You tell me, Woodward.
Woodward: 25 million.
Rossel: Ha!
Woodward: 30 million.
Rossel: Tsk tsk.
Wenger: 20 million.
Rossel: Eh?
Wenger: Come on, man! We are Arsenal.
Rossel: You have my sympathies, Arsene. But not my player. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: The joke is on you, Rossel. We have first option on Cesc, remember?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell Cesc. Now, however, Barcelona does not want to
sell. Manchester United wants to buy. There is a difference.
Wenger: Damn. *French expletive removed*
Rossel: As we were talking, Mr. Ed…
Woodward: 30 million 500 thousand.
Rossel: Yawn!
Woodward: 31 million.
Rossel: Yawn again.
Moyes: Lettimgo Ed.
Woodward: Not after coming this far, David.
Moyes: Cesc der yer wanttar play for Manchester Yonited?
Cesc: Eh? I cannot understand you, Mr. Moyes.
Moyes: Yer cannat understand me, ye?
Cesc: I cannot, Sir.
Moyes: ’twill be perfect then. We will get along jerst fine.
Woodward: Cesc, United is a great club. We have a brilliant tradition. Any player would love to play for United. You should too.
Cesc: Well, I don’t know. You know that I have a history with Arsenal.
Woodward: Have no worries about that, Cesc. We have a history of former Arsenal captains coming to our club and winning titles.
Wenger: Give us Robin van Persie and we will give you Cesc.
Woodward: Cesc is not yours to give, Arsene.
Wenger: But we have first option on him.
Woodward: Rossel, would you please indulge Mr. Wenger?
Rossel: Yes. You have first option if Barcelona want to sell…
Wenger: God damn English! *French expletive removed*
Moyes: Cesc, I will let yer play anywherr yer want. Even as the goalkeeper.
Cesc: It does sound tempting…
Moyes: And I will give yer any jersey number yer want. Even mine.
Cesc: Well…
Woodward: There you go, Rossel. Personal terms have been agreed. 31 million then. It is done.
Rossel: No.
Woodward: Oh come on now, man! Be a sport!
Rossel: How about a player of yours?
Woodward: Who do you have in mind?
Rossel: Rooney.
Moyes: Wayne Rooney is er Manchester Yenited player and will remain so.
Woodward: Shut up, David. This is not a press conference.
Moyes: Yerright. Sell the bloody bugger!
Woodward: So if it is Rooney, then you owe us Cesc and 2 million. Deal?
Rossel: Well, I don’t know. 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: So apart from the money, the deal is on, then?
Rossel: Well, 2 million is a lot of money, you know.
Woodward: Alright then, tell you what; since you’re my good friend, I will sweeten the deal for you.
Rossel: I’m all ears.
Woodward: Give us Cesc. In return, we give you Rooney plus two million*
Rossel: I believe gentlemen, that we have a deal.
Woodward: Good thing that this was a telephone conversation.
Rossel: Why do you say that?
Woodward: Well, you haven’t seen the star.
Rossel: What star?
Woodward: The asterisk that generally means ‘conditions apply’.
Rossel: What conditions?
Woodward: Remember the two million that we gave you? Well, it does not come free.
Rossel: What does it come with then?
Woodward: Bebe. Goobye, Rossel.
The transfer ends. Manchester United ends up with Cesc Fabregas, Barcelona with Wayne Rooney, two million and Bebe. Sandro Rossel ends up ashen-faced and Arsene Wenger with a ringing in his ear.
It was a pretty **** joke tbh
The Bebe bit made me smile tho
Vidic, Nani + Valencia played in some random game , Cesc is still ongoing, RvP is fit to play .
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