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My standards are far too high! Cannot respect many guys

Please keep anon.

I find it difficult to date guys because I don't respect many of them - my standards are far too high! How do I lower my standards, and begin to respect them for who they are? I am so easily turned off on dates, I don't know what to do :/

Examples of things which turn me off...

- I'm a hard worker, I study, have a couple of part time Jobs - I can't respect any guy who hasn't ever had a Job (unless they were doing Medicine or something like that)

- If they have one night stands, FBs etc... I Just can't respect them.

- If they insist on paying for me on dates - I feel like they are expecting something, that I owe them something, I'd prefer to pay 50:50, then pay for each other when the relationship becomes serious

If I could only find a guy willing to take the lead, split bills 50:50, doesn't have much (if any) sexual experience and is a hard worker, ohh, and over the age of 19 and over 5'8... Hmmmmm

How do I open myself up? And date people outside of my (strict) standards?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

ilem

17

Original post by Anonymous

Please keep anon.

I find it difficult to date guys because I don't respect many of them - my standards are far too high! How do I lower my standards, and begin to respect them for who they are? I am so easily turned off on dates, I don't know what to do :/

Examples of things which turn me off...

- I'm a hard worker, I study, have a couple of part time Jobs - I can't respect any guy who hasn't ever had a Job (unless they were doing Medicine or something like that)

- If they have one night stands, FBs etc... I Just can't respect them.

- If they insist on paying for me on dates - I feel like they are expecting something, that I owe them something, I'd prefer to pay 50:50, then pay for each other when the relationship becomes serious

If I could only find a guy willing to take the lead, split bills 50:50, doesn't have much (if any) sexual experience and is a hard worker, ohh, and over the age of 19 and over 5'8... Hmmmmm

How do I open myself up? And date people outside of my (strict) standards?

Why would you not respect someone for not having a part time job at uni if they get by just fine without one?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ilem

Why would you not respect someone for not having a part time Job at uni if they get by just fine without one?

Because I think its pathetic to be 19 and to never have had a Job, I was brought up to work hard, I don't want to spend my time with a waster who Just bums of their parents or the government.

Reply 3

Frankio

Original post by Anonymous

Please keep anon.

I find it difficult to date guys because I don't respect many of them - my standards are far too high! How do I lower my standards, and begin to respect them for who they are? I am so easily turned off on dates, I don't know what to do :/

Examples of things which turn me off...

- I'm a hard worker, I study, have a couple of part time Jobs - I can't respect any guy who hasn't ever had a Job (unless they were doing Medicine or something like that)

- If they have one night stands, FBs etc... I Just can't respect them.

- If they insist on paying for me on dates - I feel like they are expecting something, that I owe them something, I'd prefer to pay 50:50, then pay for each other when the relationship becomes serious

If I could only find a guy willing to take the lead, split bills 50:50, doesn't have much (if any) sexual experience and is a hard worker, ohh, and over the age of 19 and over 5'8... Hmmmmm

How do I open myself up? And date people outside of my (strict) standards?

Well I'd say I was one of those guys and we're not that rare. Uncommon is probably more like it. Don't lower your standards, just be patient and keep looking. :tongue:

Reply 4

YorkshireKid

4

Will you wait a couple of years?

Reply 5

Rook42

Isn't it normal for the guy to pay for the girl, at least on the first date?

Reply 6

gman10

18

I don't think your standards are too high. It just shows that you have a bit of class - I like that :smile:

Reply 7

_anyawalsh

11

I don't think you need to lower your standards, they're just your preferences

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Rook42

Isn't it normal for the guy to pay for the girl, at least on the first date?

Yes! But I've got my own money, why shouldn't I pay my way? I've been brought up to believe that you split things, one person pays for something, other person pays for something else...If a guys pays on the first date, to me, it means that I 'owe' them something? Like because they paid then they are entitled to a second date? But if it's 50:50 then I'm choosing to be with this person, to my time with them, without the little voice in my head going 'they paid for you! You have to be nice to him! What is he expecting from you?'

I hope that's made sense

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by YorkshireKid

Will you wait a couple of years?

Why

Reply 10

Tai Ga

18

No need to lower your standards. You'll find someone :smile:

Reply 11

natninja

21

Hello, they do exist, though I don't meet all your criteria myself...

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by _anyawalsh

I don't think you need to lower your standards, they're just your preferences

Posted from TSR Mobile

I know, it's Just that my preferences really limits my dating life

Reply 13

Phoebe Buffay

19

Too high? Girl there are only 3 points :colonhash:

Dont be so judgmental. You shouldnt assume a guy is after something if he pays for your date :s-smilie:

Reply 14

KZHX

2

"How do I open myself up?" Phrasing BOOM!

Reply 15

ThatPerson

18

Original post by Anonymous

Please keep anon.

I find it difficult to date guys because I don't respect many of them - my standards are far too high! How do I lower my standards, and begin to respect them for who they are? I am so easily turned off on dates, I don't know what to do :/

Examples of things which turn me off...

- I'm a hard worker, I study, have a couple of part time Jobs - I can't respect any guy who hasn't ever had a Job (unless they were doing Medicine or something like that)

- If they have one night stands, FBs etc... I Just can't respect them.

- If they insist on paying for me on dates - I feel like they are expecting something, that I owe them something, I'd prefer to pay 50:50, then pay for each other when the relationship becomes serious

If I could only find a guy willing to take the lead, split bills 50:50, doesn't have much (if any) sexual experience and is a hard worker, ohh, and over the age of 19 and over 5'8... Hmmmmm

How do I open myself up? And date people outside of my (strict) standards?

I don't think your standards are that high. Although I don't get the job thing. If someone is in university and is fine without a job, why would they want to get a menial job?

Reply 16

username447608

14

Your have to accept that nobody is perfect. In the ideal world im sure we have our own ideal partners. When i met my boyfriend he seemed perfect everything i wanted then i found out that he had slept around and had lots of ons fwb. I was gutted but then i realised it didnt affect who he was he wasnt a nasty person because of it, i realised that if hes with me and its me he spends time with and its me hes in love with then all those other girls mean nothing. It took a while for me to accept it but i thought it be stupid to loose somebody whose 99.9% perfect over one thing that i had an issue with and the only reason i have an issue with it is because im insecure

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by KZHX

"How do I open myself up?" Phrasing BOOM!

I know

I didn't know how to reword it!

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ThatPerson

I don't think your standards are that high. Although I don't get the job thing. If someone is in university and is fine without a job, why would they want to get a menial job?

Because I don't think that a 'menial' job is below me, perhaps I'm far too working class, but I do it to improve my CV, to be paid and for something to do, you learn so much by working and I am ambitious, always looking for the next thing. 'Being fine without a job,' yes, economically you might be fine, but working is so much more then about money. I'd rather date someone with work ethic, someone who is willing to go the extra mile