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Mental Health Support Society Mk X
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Original post by bullettheory
Your far from the worst person inthe world!
In fact your one of the best! Your deffinately a good guy
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Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Sorry I've been AWOL. Things are quite weird this end and Internet access is poor.
Am off Up North for a getaway to help stabilise my health a bit. Not sure I've been this far north before!
Am off Up North for a getaway to help stabilise my health a bit. Not sure I've been this far north before!
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
The North is well scary. People act so differently. Like my uncle just left his main front door open whilst chatting to us in the sitting room. Admittedly, the sitting room is the first room you'd stumble into if you were a burglar or something but I was like HOLY ****, CLOSE YOUR FRONT DOOR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!??!?!
The North is well scary. People act so differently. Like my uncle just left his main front door open whilst chatting to us in the sitting room. Admittedly, the sitting room is the first room you'd stumble into if you were a burglar or something but I was like HOLY ****, CLOSE YOUR FRONT DOOR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!??!?!
Haha don't be afraid of the North! Most of us are ok
. Where about are you? Leaving the front door open is definitely a normal thing on my street, and the doors don't even lead straight to the living room! Yesterday around 7 of my neighbours had their door open (and that's just what I could see from my window!)
How else do people act differently?
I don't think I'll ever be ok. I can't even be bothered to go make a cup of tea. Eurgh.
Thanks for the replies, I know you are all right. I think I will write a letter to my GP and see what happens, although I wouldn't be surprised if he bins it - he really is an awful doctor.
I wish i didn't feel so inferior 
Original post by Isklar
Thanks for the replies, I know you are all right. I think I will write a letter to my GP and see what happens, although I wouldn't be surprised if he bins it - he really is an awful doctor.
You could always change which GP you see? It's completely within your prerogative. I did that last December and am much happier with the one I changed to.
Original post by Isklar
Thanks for the replies, I know you are all right. I think I will write a letter to my GP and see what happens, although I wouldn't be surprised if he bins it - he really is an awful doctor.
Change your doctor. I know that might be hard, especially if you haven't left the house in years, but any doctor who dismisses mental health problems should have their licence to practice revoked IMO.
All I want right now is a god damn cigarette but are there any in the house? Noooo. However we have about a gazillion lighters, which is amazing when neither of us are meant to smoke
Original post by sunfowers01
I wish i didn't feel so inferior
In what way do you feel inferior? Who to? It's sometimes hard to see but you have your own strengths above the people you may feel inferior to that they don't have, but it's easy not to recognise that and focus on the negatives.
I know it's hard, i feel inferior a lot too.
Had CBT. Didn't talk about Bad Plans. Did talk about other stuff.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
Original post by asdfgah
Had CBT. Didn't talk about Bad Plans. Did talk about other stuff.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
Don't stop going just because of that, clearly it is your lifeline and is benefiting you. It seems your therapist is sympathetic and prepared to help you end flashbacks. Don't feel guilty.
Original post by zonkfrog
I know most of us are going through horrid stuff and its really hard to deal with. Most of my days are so difficlt but sometimes its good to laugh at yourself. I take sometimes take panic attacks through my sleep and last night I woke up about 3am in a panic shouting "who killed my magic fish, my magic fish loves me" Even I can laugh at that.
Original post by james1211
Apparently once when i was abroad staying in a hostel my mate said i mumbled "who poisoned the fish?" repeatedly in my sleep.
The next day someone fell ill a few hours after eating the restaurants fish curry.
The next day someone fell ill a few hours after eating the restaurants fish curry.
Thank you guys for making me laugh so much, i really needed that. Been feeling a bit crappy recently
Great advice too! Couldn't agree more, if everyone in the world could just take a joke on themselves and have some more humility, we'd all get on a lot better and feel a lot better.Original post by james1211
In what way do you feel inferior? Who to? It's sometimes hard to see but you have your own strengths above the people you may feel inferior to that they don't have, but it's easy not to recognise that and focus on the negatives.
I know it's hard, i feel inferior a lot too.
I know it's hard, i feel inferior a lot too.
It's hard to eplain, but I'll try. I feel inferior in part because I have a disability. I should be able to do more. The other part is probably my fault, in that I can't help but compare myself to others. I think people have this image of me that I don't fit.My self esteem is shot to pieces. I haven't had many experiences that people would consider 'normal' for teenagers/young people.
Original post by Meaty_man
Thank you guys for making me laugh so much, i really needed that. Been feeling a bit crappy recently Great advice too! Couldn't agree more, if everyone in the world could just take a joke on themselves and have some more humility, we'd all get on a lot better and feel a lot better.
Great advice too! Couldn't agree more, if everyone in the world could just take a joke on themselves and have some more humility, we'd all get on a lot better and feel a lot better.If you ever need a laugh just ask gor an annecdote from my life. Its one big joke and always seem to do something stupid
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Trying to find a new flat for next year. Its proving very difficult
Original post by Meaty_man
Thank you guys for making me laugh so much, i really needed that. Been feeling a bit crappy recently Great advice too! Couldn't agree more, if everyone in the world could just take a joke on themselves and have some more humility, we'd all get on a lot better and feel a lot better.
Great advice too! Couldn't agree more, if everyone in the world could just take a joke on themselves and have some more humility, we'd all get on a lot better and feel a lot better.No problem
Original post by sunfowers01
It's hard to eplain, but I'll try. I feel inferior in part because I have a disability. I should be able to do more. The other part is probably my fault, in that I can't help but compare myself to others. I think people have this image of me that I don't fit.My self esteem is shot to pieces. I haven't had many experiences that people would consider 'normal' for teenagers/young people.
I compare myself to others on a daily basis, it's debilitating. If someone i know gets a good job i instantly feel jealousy and inadequacy. I know how you feel. I sometimes feel like a bit of an outsider to life.
Original post by zonkfrog
Trying to find a new flat for next year. Its proving very difficult
I know that pain
Hopefully you find something soon.Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by bullettheory
Yeah. Search search search. It's not the easiest when you live in a different city 2hrs away :/
Hopefully other people are having a more productive day
Original post by luno
Haha don't be afraid of the North! Most of us are ok . Where about are you?
Leaving the front door open is definitely a normal thing on my street, and the doors don't even lead straight to the living room! Yesterday around 7 of my neighbours had their door open (and that's just what I could see from my window!)
How else do people act differently?
. Where about are you? Leaving the front door open is definitely a normal thing on my street, and the doors don't even lead straight to the living room! Yesterday around 7 of my neighbours had their door open (and that's just what I could see from my window!)
How else do people act differently?
Put it this way: having your front door the teeniest bit open in London is basically asking someone to come rob you. Probably with some kinda weapon in their hand
Was in Preston, then Liverpool. Now in Lake Windermere
I don't understand Northerners. They're all so happy and friendly and helpful. Maybe my friends were right about Londoners being mean
Original post by asdfgah
Had CBT. Didn't talk about Bad Plans. Did talk about other stuff.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
OK, generally I do like your therapist, but what a twatty thing to say. Coz obviously it HAS made you feel guilty even if that wasn't the intention (and she could/should have predicted that) and there is really nothing you can do about it. If it happens, it happens and she just has to deal with it.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
You can wail to me later tonight if you are worried about upsetting Nut. You can text me to check when I'm around. General plan is to have a power shower after dinner out and then lie in bed with a hot chocolate
Though I'm sure Nut. won't mind at all. She's a tough nut, our Nut. (See what I did there? 
)
Also: DON'T QUIT THERAPY. Therapist just has to learn to deal with the facts
Sorry about this but just need to rant here
No offence to anyone training to be a teacher but there's ****ed up **** going down in places
Spoiler
No offence to anyone training to be a teacher but there's ****ed up **** going down in places
Original post by asdfgah
Had CBT. Didn't talk about Bad Plans. Did talk about other stuff.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.
Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.
My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.
Bleh.
On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
I agree with what's been said by the others; don't feel guilty for having a flashback, it's something you aren't able to control and wouldn't want to go through. Your therapist should just deal with it. I did think though, you could discuss with her whether there is a time of day you could see her (just before lunch or at end of day etc) where she might not run late for the rest of the day if this happens again. (eg. Does she finish at 5 but last session ends at half 4 or something?) I know my therapist does not do constant appointments all day but also has prep time etc. This might put your mind at ease a bit; you sound like you have enough stress already without having to worry about this.
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