Mental Health Support Society Mk X

Hey, join the club, I feel like one, too at the moment . It's good that you messaged him/her though, being active about it, I think is a good sign!

I think they have been a bit over the top tbh, yeah I am not great in terms of mood and motivation but that is about the full extent of it. Since I need to taper off my current meds and start the new ones I'm going to most likely get worse before I get better so apparently they need to 'monitor' me but I have always called up if I am seriously bad in the past so

Also i'm hoping my mum won't find out as no doubt she will get seriously arsey and claim I am making the whole thing up.

Wolfie: TLG does NOT row. Rowing is exercise

Chrisofsmeg, I think he was called.

---

Have had some really traumatic news, which isn't what either of us needed. Had some support from the university mental health coordinator. Everything is a bit of a mess and I can't write anymore, but if anyone could send positive thoughts this way they would be much appreciated. Might not be able to post anymore for a while but will do if I can. Things are really **** but we are both safe.

Hey all, everyone seems alright, as alright as it goes for us

I swear i was on the verge of a panic attack minutes ago...but im steadily getting better now. I think it may be because of my sertraline i took 10 mins before going out...im so confused about whether or not its working. My mood still swings a lot, im not sure what to think

I've been on it for close to 2 months now, but i wasn't told to have a break from coming off of citalopram, so im not sure if it was interacting with the sertraline for a while or still is, urgh.

I hate not knowing what is going on,especially when its my own body and mind

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I'm tired of life

What's the point in living if you will never be great? I'll never change the world for the better, I'll never be the first to climb Everest or the first to achieve something, I'll never write a beautiful piece of music, or write a play or a book that will bring joy to millions, I'll never be in a position of power to change the world for the better, I will not be celebrated or remembered by the world when I'm gone .... I swear I will never listen to music, read books or poetry ever again, it just makes me feel worse about myself that I will never do something like that. I have all these thoughts in my head about life and I don't have the intelligence to express it and it's killing me.

Too angry right now. The so-called student support services at uni are being as unhelpful as usual. Apparently the 5-month-old-letter from the most annoying psychiatrist bloke ever isn't "evidence enough" for them to just give me a damn smaller room for my exams.

Literally don't care about anything else, that's ALL I WANTED FROM THEM!

Think my current frustration has come from re-reading that letter though, it's so rubbish. The guy didn't even spell my name right for a start. It just reminded me though of how much 'professionals' can't seem to be arsed to help out - I quote Magdatrix "would greatly benefit from therapeutic support, but due to her current lifestyle as an undergraduate student, involving splitting time spent between university and her home town, it is not really possible for her to engage in long term therapy at the moment. I think that this treatment option may need to be considered for her once she is settled in one geographical location (presumably as a post graduate)."

WTF

and how do you do those yellow smileys that spin around looking all annoyed-like?

Hi all!

Long time no speak to a lot of you, I see some familiar names around still. I hope some of you remember me I was last online last December! I'm doing very well mentally, and I should be starting my degree in law this October.

I'm doing that well, that I've re-evaluated my life and everything, it's been quite a transformative and introspective experience the past half a year or so. I should be around checking TSR a lot more now, especially with up coming studies. So hi!

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a few years ago.

Things have always felt different from a very young age I would constantly get low moods and be lazy and have a poor outlook on life. I thought it was just me but it started getting really bad at 16 and it's just been pretty much downhill from there.

Since that time I'm still waiting on therapy, it's been nearly 3 years now and the doctors round my area have been so unhelpful they just make it worst. Every time i see them they either promise me they will get on the case or have completely forgotten i even asked for it. Back in the early days i went to see a psychiatrist and she just sat there looking down on me and judging me the whole time. Nothing even happened after that consultation which is even more frustrating.

I'm on citalopram 20mg and have been for a year, I was very reluctant to go on them and still kind of regret it as I feel it has messed me up. Luckily I'm starting to slowly cut down on them so I can completely get off such poison.

You have to deal with the cards your given in life but I'm struggling to cope more and more. It has such a big impact on education, health, family friends and relationships. I've been doing a levels for 3 years now and will probably doing them again as I am determined to complete them. I would have given up by now but I have proved to myself I am capable. I had a good 4 months last year and did psychology AS in 4 months and got an A.

I guess this kind of rant, just needed to put it out there on somewhere like this to connect with likeminded people.




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hey all

I am Ellie and I am currently studying health and social care and community mental health practice via a distance learning college. I am also studying a-levels via the same college in Sept 2013.
i currently suffer from depression and stress due to a number of reasons and I look forward to getting to know you all

How's the house (minus the horror of internetlessness, no internet was actually the sole reason I went home the other week )?



Oh, so you really mean it? You realise this would involve meeting me For Real in Real Life? I only just realised. You really wanna help me make plans? Do not understand why you're being so kind.

While a door-to-door escort service would be lovely, I can't possibly ask you to come all the way down here just to go back up again. Just the price for one thing (I just looked at tickets and oh my god trains are expensive). I could probably make it to Manchester. maybe. I mean it's only one train from London. I think I will have to go beg for benzos from the doc. And I definitely don't want to stay with your parents or drag you away from them (im sure they're lovely, but I dont wanna intrude and it's your family etc), I'll take a look at what sort of accommodation there is.




I think i'm generally fine with not being skinny anymore (bones=frail, plus generally people involvement) but I don't like not being skinny and not being fit either. I feel very undisciplined and lazy. I actually really miss exercising and being fit and healthy and strong. I can only barely make it to 3 push ups atm And not just strong body, you have to be properly strong-willed to push yourself and that plus physical exertion is quite.. I can't quite find the word .. empowering?

Obvious answer is just to start exercising again. You do make lots of improvements quickly when you're starting from nothing so would be quite gratifying. I just... can't. I don't really know why. I mean I can't exercise outside because Outside and I can't stomach the gym. Have been sort of doing some body-weight exercises but I mostly can't find the motivation to even get out of bed so is difficult to do anything consistently. So many excuses.

Hmmm I think this isn't really a body problem, more a Sultana finds another way to hate herself for being ill problem.

Thanks for the advice mate. What would it involve to get someone sectioned? And can you recommend any numbers or support groups at all?

It's impossible to get any sort of conversation out of Brother 1 now, you could ask him if he wants to go to the hospital and he wouldn't understand at all.



Cheers mate.

As said above I don't think how brother 1 feels is easy to determine. Anywhere he goes he would probably have to be dragged there, you can't just ask him because he won't understand. He's oblivious to what's going on around him, I think.

Plus I really need a girlfriend too

Certain members bite.


*looks suspiciously at superwolf*

Hey everyone, bit of an update.

Scott is gaining weight and very healthy. I've been fully discharged from the mental health unit and having my first CMHT meeting on Tuesday. Very busy with lots of appointments so not too much time to post a lot but I'm sure you'll hear more from me when things settle down a bit.

Superwolf & Anon1, I got your post today! May have been there for a few days as the studio is not open all the time but I got them today. Anon1 - amazing handmade card, nearly made me cry but our families are here so I held it in! Superwolf - the hat is amazing! Made everyone smile hugely when I opened it. Unfortunately Scott's head is too big for it! We are wondering if it can be stretched on washing or whether it will shrink? I really really want him to wear it so I can show you guys a photo! X

Girlfriend is doing everything in her power to make me feel less attractive than I already feel. Been dress shopping and she's literally been making gasping noises whenever I got into anything in case I ripped it. Finally found a dress I mostly like and she just didn't have a reaction towards it at all. Not even a "you look less hideous in that than the other ones!"

I know I'm not stunning and thin and pretty or anything but she should at least try to make me feel less like a giant fat failure at least some of the time.

She said she's no good at shopping for women's clothes and that she has no opinion on them and that I should take somebody else. As though I have other people to take. So I started sobbing In the changing room in my underwear.

It's my friend's wedding reception. I haven't seen him or my other college friends since gaining this weight and I just needed her to say that I looked okay. Not pretty. Just okay. The lastd dress I wore was a brown tea dress with a red and cream vintage pattern and it was stunning and everyone said it was lovely and she said I looked like old curtains.

And she bleached my hair last week and screwed up. And then we had to bleach it again and she screwed that up too. And then she dyed it for me and missed massive sections so I went home and dyed it dark red myself but my hair is so wrecked that it's like straw and won't hold a colour so I'm now ginger too. And not a nice healthy ginger. Just had a fight in Tesco because I wanted to buy dark brown hair dye to just get rid of it and she said my hair looks dull brown and that she likes me better with red hair. I explained that red wasn't going to take because my hair is a complete mess and won't hold red pigment so she tried to reason with me to try red again.

I feel like I'm hideous. I'm a size 18, 5 ft tall and have giant boobs and bright orange hair. It's really not a good look.

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I have been meaning to reply to quite a few people on here but I've had a lot on and haven't been able to.

My mum has just been diagnosed with a form of brain tumour. I'm going back home tomorrow to see her, and hopefully she will be having surgery soon (NHS soon mind...).

Its complicated. She has long term health problems, and is in a lot of pain. They think if they remove the tumour then she may be better again, but the tumour may not be benign and then there is obvious issues with that. Feel so guilty for feeling bad and making my girlfriend and that worry.

Just blah. Doesn't feel real atm anyway. I'm scared its gonna hit me so hard when I get home and see her.


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Something's going on and I don't know what to do



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I feel horribly selfish posting this because it's such a small thing but I've been struggling with it for a while now. I tend to cycle between struggling to do anything and feeling like I can just about manage (with the help of meds, seriously impressed with how quickly I've improved) but being really lonely. Most of my friends from university live hours away and I don't feel like I'm close enough to any of them to go visit. My friends from college are all busy living their lives and making plans to do stuff. I get invited but it's rare that I can actually go and if I do I feel really anxious the whole time.
It's not like I'm alone all the time either, my parents are home quite a lot and I see other family but it just feels like I don't really have a social life and friends who are my age (or that I can talk to about stuff that I don't want to talk to my family about). I do see a couple of people about 1/week or so but it's rare that we do anything and it just seems to make me feel worse after I've met up with them. One friend who I have known for about 10 years knows what's going on MH-wise but trying to explain all the really Bad stuff is hard because she doesn't understand how I can feel like I do and also she keeps trying to get me back into a relationship with my ex which I don't think is a good idea. Just feeling a bit stuck really.

I don't know what to do. I'm still depressed after all these years over things constantly going wrong and not having the perfect life I dreamed of. I've had so many failures with trying to get help from doctors and counsellors, and none will prescribe any antidepressants. I was trying CBT books, but they don't seem to help much and I just get bored and give up with them after a while. I keep wondering about trying counselling again, but keep hesitating due to my past experiences, and worries that I'd be too shy to speak properly about all my problems to them anyway.

This feels like such a terrible thing to be complaining about but it's stressing me out. It's my birthday soon and people, particularly my parents, keep asking and asking and asking what I want. Makes me feel so uncomfortable. I don't want anything and even if I did I hate asking for stuff it feels so awkward and selfish. People asking just feels like it's this expected obligation they have to fulfill and I hate that. I'd much prefer it if people just stopped with the whole birthday, christmas, capitalist materialistic bull****. It's nice if people see something they think you'd like or give some thought to a gift but not oh it's daughter no.1 birthday what unnecessary, unwanted, stuff shall we try and buy her off with so we can pretend we're good parents. Like seriously. how ****ing dare they turn around and tell me how disgusting and shameful i am and force me to hide the biggest ****ing thing in my life because it's embarrassing for her. force me to go through a ****ing court case by myself. kick me out because i have ****ing nightmares. completely refuse to acknowledge that there is anything going on for me. blame me for every single bad thing that's happened since. one huge ginormous factor in determining if you develop ptsd after trauma is the reaction and support you recieve from those around you. so if those closest to you who you're meant to be able to trust with anything to always love you and support you act with horror and disgust at you, tell you to hide it, tell you you're ruined now, tell you to ignore never mention it again or else there is no chance, hate you for letting it happen, basically just take all that blame and shame and guilt that is normal after trauma and reinforce it over and over to instill it in you as hard fact, as real because it's not just you thinking that it's the people who love you the most telling you that then guess what! you're pretty ****ing likely to get some bad **** ptsd case. and you do not get to make everything fine by cooking me dinner and buying me a ****ing mobile.
ha apparently im pretty ****ing angry right now. sorry.

Trigger warning

Counting down the hours left of my life.

I desperately need a plan out of my situation but I'm too ****ing stupid and they're too ****ing powerful.


I'm trying to relax, let go and forget about what's going to happen but I can't. Everytime I bring it up with my wife she goes mental, I don't need her anger I need her help it's her fault they have me by the balls. Spent the day in bed as the walls are so ****ing loud in here but I'm tired of taking things lying down I'm gonna sit here and I'm not going to let them stop me.

Am out of hospital!

Firefly would like everyone to know she's ok where she is.
She's allowed her phone every so often, but it's logged her out of TSR and she's forgotten her password.

But Iv just been chatting to her, and she told me to tell everyone that she's ok, and she can still browse the thread but not comment, so she has seen people's replays to her.




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Went to see my GP today, in a kind of emergency way because recent trauma has been triggering in a bad way.

He's given me the pill again (my other doctor took me off - said it was too risky if I wasn't using it as contraception) so I've got control back over my periods. Thank ****. Cos they are tooooo triggering to deal with unexpectedly and when they're all Bad.

Also gave me diazepam again and put it on my repeat prescription. I was so scared I would have to explain PTSD but actually I was shaking so much and just had to say realy bad anxiety and I think cos he could see my hands and legs shaking he realised I needed something.

Am still feeling very struggly tbh. but I am on a pact not to do anything Really Bad. cant decide whether to do stuff that's A Bit Bad. or not anything.

also making grand plans for some stuff. is gonna be good I think. not good like REALLY FUN but good like it might actually help people.

Interesting development with me, in the past 2 months have been given "support" from a paid worker who never bothers to turn up well I have 2 but they are paid 6 hours a week and I get 1 guy for a hour and another for 10 minutes who then vanishes but not before reading any letters or bills I have lying about

Secondly I have been signed up to a mental heatlh drop in, beautiful place with own garden, conservatory, tv room, snooker room, shower room and a cafe that is dirt cheap(£2.90 for 3 course meal) as they have their own vegetable garden so use their own veg and all food is home made

I only go in for cheap food as I am only person my age there and the rest have a lot of problems and many stink of different bodily fluids lol.

It can be emailed to her. There should be a forgotten password on the log in screen.

Just thought I'd pop my head in. Not been in here for ages. Doing ok.

That was a short two week holiday. I went early cos I couldn't cope with staying in a caravan so decided to spend the time at home. Got a phone call later... my family crashed on the motorway!! Caravan snaked (wobbled side to side), hit into both sides of the car and flipped over. Caravan and car are totalled but luckily everyone's safe.

It's a shame cos my mother especially was really looking forward to it and worked so hard to make it as nice as possible and they didn't even make it to the first campsite.

At least everyone's okay though. They're all staying with somebody over there tonight and my wonderful friend is sleeping over mine so I'm not alone.


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So I kind if faked my way out of hospital lalala no voices not paranoid lol wut it was all in my head. Now I'm regretting it, not the hospital bit I hated being there but no aftercare as they believe I'm well. I'm seeing my psychologist tomorrow so I think I'll talk to her but I don't really know what to do!? Advice?

I had a really bad anxiety attack today, for a really silly reason. I just feel like it's getting worse. I get so anxious and worked up over the smallest things.

I was wondering if anyone knew about medications for anxiety? I don't really want to be taking them but if my anxiety doesn't get any better then i might have to... I still haven't been to the doctor about it, I guess I probably should. Sigh.

Had a bad day, found it really hard to get out of bed this morning so I didn't go and help out at work (volunteering so I didn't have to go but I said I would). Got up around noon and have been having really bad thoughts all day
Quite frustrated since I haven't felt this bad since I started taking Sertraline. Going to see my GP again next week so I might mention it then but I'm worried that it might get worse before then. It is coming with a huge helping of numb so I'm pretty safe just not feeling all that great.

Did something simultaneously nice and horrible today, so am now just sat here crying about how selfish I am and how complicated and **** and unfair life is.

Well the interview went pretty well, think i might be in with a chance.

Hope everyone is feeling alright this evening.

Planning to be honest with therapist about flashback related things today. Scared. But I do also know that it's the only real way forward, because I'm treading water right now and it's not hugely pleasant.

Probably didnt help that my darling boyfriend was snoring in my ear
But yeah just couldnt sleep, and didnt know where my sleeping pills were

Have you been to your disability support office or personal tutor? They might be able to sort student support services out a bit and get them to give you your smaller room.

Hey Thanks for your reply. Last exam season my 'academic tutor' (sort of a essay marking/feedback tutor, not my personal tutor) and the department's general welfare tutor managed to set me up with an individual room for my last exam after I had a bit of a meltdown with them just before my second-to-last exam, (my academic tutor actually walked me to that exam to make sure I went because I was waffling on about being simultaneously desperate to complete it and desperate to avoid it) but they said they can't do it 'unofficially' again, so I had to arrange with the exams office/student support for next year.

Mental health support won't do a thing until they have a GP letter.

GP won't send a letter without me coming in for an appointment (even implied several appointments, because she says it isn't 'urgent' as my next exams are not for months yet)

So much for sorting it out before term starts again and before I have other things to be stressed about!

x

To be honest I'd change GP - from the sounds of it she's a bit of a dimwit. I can understand your wanting to get things sorted soon - I was having a terrible time getting plenty of extensions on my dissertation's preliminary deadlines, but not one for the actual hand in date, and it was really stressing me out even though it was months in advance. Why was it you couldn't get a GP appointment, are you away somewhere? I'm sure there'll be a way round it somehow, it's just annoying that it's putting so much stress on you in the meantime.

I'm miles away from home and my sister has been rushed to hospital. I literally don't know what to do.

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Hey, call your parents or the hospital she has been sent to. Really hope she is fine, do you know if it's an accident or does she have a condition?

Messaged my care co-ordinator that I'm struggling since leaving hospital. Feel like a failure

Can't fault you on that logic! Maybe get one of your minions to row you about then. If minionless, suggest you acquire some.

So today I was honest with my therapist about flashback stuff. Like, totally honest. Felt like I got something out of it, though we had to stop talking about it pretty quickly because I had a flashback. But we talked around the general area and I think it was helpful.

It's her diabetes. I think she's okay but she hates being alone in the hospital. Called her partner and was told they're watching her closely because her blood pressure is through the roof but they're ready if anything happens.

Got the evening off from volunteering so can at least stay in my room to get updates. Feeling super stressed so not really feeling capable of handling screaming teens tonight.

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Someone call for MHSS dating services?



Some jokes never get old eh?

Mice are friendly creatures for hugging and playing with. No need to be scared of them. Have you spoken to your doctor about these experiences - things like this seem to trouble you quite often.

Really sorry to hear about your uncle.

Glad to hear she's ok, and I hope things improve for her soon.

Aww bless him, it's his way of telling you in his sleep how much he cares about you

Sometime when you're free can we talk on skype about it? Making plans across a forum doesn't quite seem real and i need real

I'm miles away from home and my sister has been rushed to hospital. I literally don't know what to do.

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MHSS dating services is already up and running

also, i hear your more wolf like everytime i hear a story about you



mice definitely arnt friendly
especially not when youv had them thrown at you and everything

no, its a silly thing isnt it?

also thankyou, hes still going, hopefully he keeps on, but i dunno



yeah, ill update everyone when i can, but at the moment shes safe

Psychologist mentioned hospital a load. I told him I'm not going and that's final which he accepted but now I've got to deal with friday and I still don't have a plan. Don't know what I'm going to do, I'm so scared of a certain thing happening but I'm too much of a wuss to stop it once and for all. I'm trying to decide if to tell my wife to hide things I could use but if I tell her it puts her in extreme danger so I'm guessing no.

This is very true.

Who's been telling you stories now?

But I'm getting lovely pet mice which won't be at all scary and only want to be your friends.

Well it seems to upset/disturb you a lot, so I'd definitely think it was worth mentioning. Do you actually see the mice, like a hallucination, or is it more like your imagination going into overdrive?

Hope he's ok.