Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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To the person asking about Fluoxetine- I was put on it for an eating disorder and depression, but have stopped taking it. It did work though.
It's weird when stimulus hits you, but when it does, you have to discuss it!
I was playing a game, "Tales of Vesperia", on the Xbox 360. In the game, they are all very hungry. They have a discussion. " I heard Judith's tummy rumbling. It growled like a wolf!" "No it didn't, that's Celia's!"
When the discussion dies down, the boys speak with the girls and they explain "A diet is kinda like a competition, to see who is going to give in first."
I don't know why this really hit me hard, but I have some extremist pals who are incredibly competitive. They're the "be best anorexic " type of person. To have you stomach ACHE and yet still feel the need to "beat" someone else - it's something a lot of anorexics might feel.
It's moronic and helps nobody, but I thought I'd mention that it happens.
I was playing a game, "Tales of Vesperia", on the Xbox 360. In the game, they are all very hungry. They have a discussion. " I heard Judith's tummy rumbling. It growled like a wolf!" "No it didn't, that's Celia's!"
When the discussion dies down, the boys speak with the girls and they explain "A diet is kinda like a competition, to see who is going to give in first."
I don't know why this really hit me hard, but I have some extremist pals who are incredibly competitive. They're the "be best anorexic " type of person. To have you stomach ACHE and yet still feel the need to "beat" someone else - it's something a lot of anorexics might feel.
It's moronic and helps nobody, but I thought I'd mention that it happens.
Still feeling compulsively obliged to eat things I won't always want/stop myself doing things I want to do to please others 
Original post by iJess
I haven't been on this thread in a while. I had anorexia earlier this year and got sent away from CAMHS I had to recover on my own and it's been hard but I'm much healthier than I was. Is there anyone on this thread thats recovered? Didnt know where to post this really. Just wondering if my ED tendencies will be with me for the rest of my life. In the back of my mind I still calorie count but not to the point of restricting to 300 a day like I was. Since I've got better I only eat very very small meals like sometimes I can't even finish a childs sized meal so my new boyfriend has been having to get used to giving me very small portions. A doctor told me before my stomach had shrunk when I had an ultrasound so this will probably be down to that?
I can't eat anything unhealthy or greasy or anything fattening but I do eat stuff like chocolate or popcorn when I watch films with my boyfriend. I was such a picky eater before and still am I cant stomach anything with a texture I dont like like pasta or mince etc. I still weigh myself daily. During my anorexia I lived with my nana and she was told to take scales off me but I weigh myself at my boyfriends everyday and I'm kind of gutted I'm up to 10 stone so I excercise loads now. Even though I've slowly got better are these things ever going to go away or are they stuck with me for life? I still don't ever feel hungry and could go a day and not eat but I've mostly snapped out of that by forcing myself to eat. I hope this post isn't triggering to anybody, sorry
I can't eat anything unhealthy or greasy or anything fattening but I do eat stuff like chocolate or popcorn when I watch films with my boyfriend. I was such a picky eater before and still am I cant stomach anything with a texture I dont like like pasta or mince etc. I still weigh myself daily. During my anorexia I lived with my nana and she was told to take scales off me but I weigh myself at my boyfriends everyday and I'm kind of gutted I'm up to 10 stone so I excercise loads now. Even though I've slowly got better are these things ever going to go away or are they stuck with me for life? I still don't ever feel hungry and could go a day and not eat but I've mostly snapped out of that by forcing myself to eat. I hope this post isn't triggering to anybody, sorry
<3 Hi iJess. Welldone on getting better, lovely. I was sent away from CAMHS early too, it is difficult. You will be ok.
As for recovery, it depends, person to person. I was very much like you during the time I recovered (I relapsed, but this doesn't happen for a lot of people). And I know people who have been the same, had the same habits etc., but who have recovered completely. My sister (twin, who also had anorexia) got completely better after a while, although for some time she stuck with similar habits- but she now eats whatever she likes adn has said to me that she doesn't worry at all.
I hope you're doing ok. Please feel free to message you whenever you like. x
Original post by TotoMimo
It's weird when stimulus hits you, but when it does, you have to discuss it!
I was playing a game, "Tales of Vesperia", on the Xbox 360. In the game, they are all very hungry. They have a discussion. " I heard Judith's tummy rumbling. It growled like a wolf!" "No it didn't, that's Celia's!"
When the discussion dies down, the boys speak with the girls and they explain "A diet is kinda like a competition, to see who is going to give in first."
I don't know why this really hit me hard, but I have some extremist pals who are incredibly competitive. They're the "be best anorexic " type of person. To have you stomach ACHE and yet still feel the need to "beat" someone else - it's something a lot of anorexics might feel.
It's moronic and helps nobody, but I thought I'd mention that it happens.
I was playing a game, "Tales of Vesperia", on the Xbox 360. In the game, they are all very hungry. They have a discussion. " I heard Judith's tummy rumbling. It growled like a wolf!" "No it didn't, that's Celia's!"
When the discussion dies down, the boys speak with the girls and they explain "A diet is kinda like a competition, to see who is going to give in first."
I don't know why this really hit me hard, but I have some extremist pals who are incredibly competitive. They're the "be best anorexic " type of person. To have you stomach ACHE and yet still feel the need to "beat" someone else - it's something a lot of anorexics might feel.
It's moronic and helps nobody, but I thought I'd mention that it happens.
As sick as it sounds, I felt like this to some extent.
I guess most do, if they look at extremely skinny people (even skinnier than themselves) and aspire to be like that- well, that's competitive to some degree, isn't it?
I don't feel I can help myself anymore. It's been 8 years of this mentality and I feel like it's going to break me...it's having an awful effect on my diabetes but the eating disorders service in Swansea is appalling and I'm just not considered "ill" enough despite being underweight and having diabetes. Basically unless you are near-dead, they don't care.
Is it possible to recover completely alone? I keep trying-- and failing-- and I'm getting to the point where I think that unless I make myself ill enough to go inpatient, they will never help me. It's sad that it's the only way to get help around here, and not something I want to do, but eventually it's going to lead to it because it's so hard trying to do this alone over and over and over.
Is it possible to recover completely alone? I keep trying-- and failing-- and I'm getting to the point where I think that unless I make myself ill enough to go inpatient, they will never help me. It's sad that it's the only way to get help around here, and not something I want to do, but eventually it's going to lead to it because it's so hard trying to do this alone over and over and over.
Thankyou for clearing up some real misconceptions about eating disorders. They are not about vanity and wanting to look like a certain celebrity...
I have Polycystic ovary syndrome and type 2 diabetes despite being underweight most of my life. I find it really hard sometimes and will starve myself for days to get my blood sugar down- high blood sugar makes me feel nauseous, tired and gives me a headache, so to avoid that feeling I have redeveloped my fear of food after working so hard to get to a normal weight! Even exercising can make my blood sugar go up and because I am insulin resistant, I produce a large amount of insulin which promotes fat storage, and the fear of looking like the typical type 2 or PCOS sufferer (who often used to be slim before they got ill) governs my life daily.
I'll eat nothing, get my blood sugar into normal range then eat something then I'm back into double figures, despite being very active (ballet, gymnastics, pole dancing, horseriding)
I have Polycystic ovary syndrome and type 2 diabetes despite being underweight most of my life. I find it really hard sometimes and will starve myself for days to get my blood sugar down- high blood sugar makes me feel nauseous, tired and gives me a headache, so to avoid that feeling I have redeveloped my fear of food after working so hard to get to a normal weight! Even exercising can make my blood sugar go up and because I am insulin resistant, I produce a large amount of insulin which promotes fat storage, and the fear of looking like the typical type 2 or PCOS sufferer (who often used to be slim before they got ill) governs my life daily.
I'll eat nothing, get my blood sugar into normal range then eat something then I'm back into double figures, despite being very active (ballet, gymnastics, pole dancing, horseriding)
Original post by x-Disenchanted-x
I don't feel I can help myself anymore. It's been 8 years of this mentality and I feel like it's going to break me...it's having an awful effect on my diabetes but the eating disorders service in Swansea is appalling and I'm just not considered "ill" enough despite being underweight and having diabetes. Basically unless you are near-dead, they don't care.
Is it possible to recover completely alone? I keep trying-- and failing-- and I'm getting to the point where I think that unless I make myself ill enough to go inpatient, they will never help me. It's sad that it's the only way to get help around here, and not something I want to do, but eventually it's going to lead to it because it's so hard trying to do this alone over and over and over.
Is it possible to recover completely alone? I keep trying-- and failing-- and I'm getting to the point where I think that unless I make myself ill enough to go inpatient, they will never help me. It's sad that it's the only way to get help around here, and not something I want to do, but eventually it's going to lead to it because it's so hard trying to do this alone over and over and over.
Omg I thought I was the only one... It is so difficult to manage what an when and how to eat dealing with an eating disorder AND diabetes. For an overweight person eating less is beneficial but what can you do if you are skinny and diabetic? It just fans the flames of a fear of food.
Also so many type 1 diabetics stop taking their insulin to lose weight which is dangerous..
People with eating disorders are more likely to develop metabolic disorders and should be screened and supported for diabetes and diabetics should be asked if they have a history of eating disorders as it could effect their treatment
Original post by Little Wolf Taima
Omg I thought I was the only one... It is so difficult to manage what an when and how to eat dealing with an eating disorder AND diabetes. For an overweight person eating less is beneficial but what can you do if you are skinny and diabetic? It just fans the flames of a fear of food.
Also so many type 1 diabetics stop taking their insulin to lose weight which is dangerous..
People with eating disorders are more likely to develop metabolic disorders and should be screened and supported for diabetes and diabetics should be asked if they have a history of eating disorders as it could effect their treatment
Also so many type 1 diabetics stop taking their insulin to lose weight which is dangerous..
People with eating disorders are more likely to develop metabolic disorders and should be screened and supported for diabetes and diabetics should be asked if they have a history of eating disorders as it could effect their treatment
I agree with you, insulin restriction is incredibly dangerous and I think more medical staff need to look out for the warning signs as I know far, far too many fellow Type 1 diabetics who have done this. Medical staff often assume that poor control of blood sugars is simply "laziness" or "teenage rebellion" when actually the truth is an awful lot of patients are suffering in the grip of a terrible eating disorder. Not eating regular carbs affects blood glucose control adversely and even though my team are now aware of my anorexia, I am too often told to "read up on carbohydrates" and "just eat more bread".
I KNOW all about carb-counting, the problem is not that I can't work out the science behind it, it's that this stupid illness is ruining everything! Glad I'm not the only one!
If ever you want to PM me feel free; always helps to share experiences with someone who's going through the same.
Original post by Riku
Still feeling compulsively obliged to eat things I won't always want/stop myself doing things I want to do to please others
Feeling exactly the same today
Just feeling crap about it all
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Little Wolf Taima
Thankyou for clearing up some real misconceptions about eating disorders. They are not about vanity and wanting to look like a certain celebrity...
I have Polycystic ovary syndrome and type 2 diabetes despite being underweight most of my life. I find it really hard sometimes and will starve myself for days to get my blood sugar down- high blood sugar makes me feel nauseous, tired and gives me a headache, so to avoid that feeling I have redeveloped my fear of food after working so hard to get to a normal weight! Even exercising can make my blood sugar go up and because I am insulin resistant, I produce a large amount of insulin which promotes fat storage, and the fear of looking like the typical type 2 or PCOS sufferer (who often used to be slim before they got ill) governs my life daily.
I'll eat nothing, get my blood sugar into normal range then eat something then I'm back into double figures, despite being very active (ballet, gymnastics, pole dancing, horseriding)
I have Polycystic ovary syndrome and type 2 diabetes despite being underweight most of my life. I find it really hard sometimes and will starve myself for days to get my blood sugar down- high blood sugar makes me feel nauseous, tired and gives me a headache, so to avoid that feeling I have redeveloped my fear of food after working so hard to get to a normal weight! Even exercising can make my blood sugar go up and because I am insulin resistant, I produce a large amount of insulin which promotes fat storage, and the fear of looking like the typical type 2 or PCOS sufferer (who often used to be slim before they got ill) governs my life daily.
I'll eat nothing, get my blood sugar into normal range then eat something then I'm back into double figures, despite being very active (ballet, gymnastics, pole dancing, horseriding)
Original post by x-Disenchanted-x
I agree with you, insulin restriction is incredibly dangerous and I think more medical staff need to look out for the warning signs as I know far, far too many fellow Type 1 diabetics who have done this. Medical staff often assume that poor control of blood sugars is simply "laziness" or "teenage rebellion" when actually the truth is an awful lot of patients are suffering in the grip of a terrible eating disorder. Not eating regular carbs affects blood glucose control adversely and even though my team are now aware of my anorexia, I am too often told to "read up on carbohydrates" and "just eat more bread".
I KNOW all about carb-counting, the problem is not that I can't work out the science behind it, it's that this stupid illness is ruining everything! Glad I'm not the only one!
If ever you want to PM me feel free; always helps to share experiences with someone who's going through the same.
I KNOW all about carb-counting, the problem is not that I can't work out the science behind it, it's that this stupid illness is ruining everything! Glad I'm not the only one!
If ever you want to PM me feel free; always helps to share experiences with someone who's going through the same.
I don't mean to be patronising to either of you because I guess you know this but maybe, if you can somehow get past the anxiety brought about by food due to the ED-side of things, the diabetes problem re: eating will be a little easier? Blood sugars tend to spike when you're in panic mode after all
But I'm not a doctor and maybe I'm just being a hopeless romantic again who thinks if you believe dreams can happen they'll come true...
X
When I decided to let myself go (I was away with my boyfriend and he's a foodie) and 50g of prawn crackers spiked me to 19.4mmol and I felt like crap for 12 hours.
But you are right, anxiety does make the body produce cortisol and raise blood sugars. Fasting readings are lower when I am relaxed but aint nothing I can do about post meal. Dr doesn't want to prescribe medication either because they are still perplexed as to how my BG could be so erratic at the weight I am.
I'm beginning to think I am slow onset type 1 or MODY. If its the former, my pancreas could just decided to pack up one day and thats anxiety inducing alone @_@
Still don't know whether or not to eat something today. I've run out of test strips and I feel fat....
But you are right, anxiety does make the body produce cortisol and raise blood sugars. Fasting readings are lower when I am relaxed but aint nothing I can do about post meal. Dr doesn't want to prescribe medication either because they are still perplexed as to how my BG could be so erratic at the weight I am.
I'm beginning to think I am slow onset type 1 or MODY. If its the former, my pancreas could just decided to pack up one day and thats anxiety inducing alone @_@
Still don't know whether or not to eat something today. I've run out of test strips and I feel fat....
Original post by 60chops
<3 Hi iJess. Welldone on getting better, lovely. I was sent away from CAMHS early too, it is difficult. You will be ok.
As for recovery, it depends, person to person. I was very much like you during the time I recovered (I relapsed, but this doesn't happen for a lot of people). And I know people who have been the same, had the same habits etc., but who have recovered completely. My sister (twin, who also had anorexia) got completely better after a while, although for some time she stuck with similar habits- but she now eats whatever she likes adn has said to me that she doesn't worry at all.
I hope you're doing ok. Please feel free to message you whenever you like. x
As for recovery, it depends, person to person. I was very much like you during the time I recovered (I relapsed, but this doesn't happen for a lot of people). And I know people who have been the same, had the same habits etc., but who have recovered completely. My sister (twin, who also had anorexia) got completely better after a while, although for some time she stuck with similar habits- but she now eats whatever she likes adn has said to me that she doesn't worry at all.
I hope you're doing ok. Please feel free to message you whenever you like. x
Thank you so much that's so reassuring I sound a bit like your sister I just eat what I feel like, but slowly I'm learning to love some foods again, it's not easy and I still feel like it's a bit of a journey
Original post by Riku
I don't mean to be patronising to either of you because I guess you know this but maybe, if you can somehow get past the anxiety brought about by food due to the ED-side of things, the diabetes problem re: eating will be a little easier? Blood sugars tend to spike when you're in panic mode after all
But I'm not a doctor and maybe I'm just being a hopeless romantic again who thinks if you believe dreams can happen they'll come true...
X
But I'm not a doctor and maybe I'm just being a hopeless romantic again who thinks if you believe dreams can happen they'll come true...
X
That's the problem; it's trying to get past the ED anxiety that is the hardest!
It does make things scary but also shows how strong a grip an eating disorder can have ad how there's no common sense in it at all. I do feel pretty stupid when I try and tell my nurses x
I hope I don't just sound silly, but I hope it sounds familiar to some of you as I'm in need of some advice I suppose.
This weekend there is a HUGE family meal for my Grans 80th. I haven't had a restaurant starter, meal and pudding for a very long time, Must be over 2 years now. Fear, I guess. Fear of food, fear of weight, working out how many calories each meal may have I'm digging myself further and further in to the ground. Im unsure of what to do.
For the past 2 1/2 years Ive been struggling with depression, been on 6 different antidepressants and 3 dosages of each and it seems to have brought on anorexic tendencies and I am just… petrefied! nothing seems to be working.. therapy, medication, so many waiting lists and I'm really loosing it.
What I'm really asking is how to overcome or just relieve some of the fear and panic of this meal?
I should mention that I haven't seen family since last year (they live round birmingham and we live in the north west). I haven't socialised with friends since the start of all of this. Gp's are encouraging to get me to see them but I'm just far far too anxious. i know nothing drastic will happen, but I'm unable to make the 'plunge'.
This weekend there is a HUGE family meal for my Grans 80th. I haven't had a restaurant starter, meal and pudding for a very long time, Must be over 2 years now. Fear, I guess. Fear of food, fear of weight, working out how many calories each meal may have I'm digging myself further and further in to the ground. Im unsure of what to do.
For the past 2 1/2 years Ive been struggling with depression, been on 6 different antidepressants and 3 dosages of each and it seems to have brought on anorexic tendencies and I am just… petrefied! nothing seems to be working.. therapy, medication, so many waiting lists and I'm really loosing it.
What I'm really asking is how to overcome or just relieve some of the fear and panic of this meal?
I should mention that I haven't seen family since last year (they live round birmingham and we live in the north west). I haven't socialised with friends since the start of all of this. Gp's are encouraging to get me to see them but I'm just far far too anxious. i know nothing drastic will happen, but I'm unable to make the 'plunge'.
Hey guys, just wanted to ask, does it ever get better? I've had an ED for 4 years now and there have been no positives that have come out of it, yet I can't stop and I am at a point where I'm angry at everyone, mainly myself. I've only ever told one person who feels uncomfortable talking about it, which has only made me feel worse.
I stopped for 6 months but the urge to purge only got worse over that time and I finally gave in. That was the longest time I've stopped and was one of the hardest periods of my life. Will these urges always be there? Just because I started this mean I can never go back? I don't want it to be sugar coated, but does anyone who's had an ED ever get to a place where they don't worry about food/how they look/weight/what ever reason they started for? I feel like purging is my go-to every time I get stressed, and stress is unavoidable.
I stopped for 6 months but the urge to purge only got worse over that time and I finally gave in. That was the longest time I've stopped and was one of the hardest periods of my life. Will these urges always be there? Just because I started this mean I can never go back? I don't want it to be sugar coated, but does anyone who's had an ED ever get to a place where they don't worry about food/how they look/weight/what ever reason they started for? I feel like purging is my go-to every time I get stressed, and stress is unavoidable.
Spoiler
I read this and although the title may be a bit of a double-edged sword thought it's inspirational. I'm clearly having a battle about whether I'm allowed to exercise anymore like I used to and reading up on these things
I strongly believe that I can live a life not controlled by food and exercise but still healthy and active. I can't see why I should not make myself do anything that I strongly want to do (exercise freely, not every day but at my own will, without shame and regret-and for that matter exercise my own decisions and willpower). My thought pattern at the moment is more like don't exercise->obsess about not being able to do it it-> not do it anyway and just worry. Maybe if I just let myself do it when I wanted to, and got it over and done with, I could carry on my day as normal
(would only recommend for those in active recovery though!)
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/discuss/1586/
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2010/03/health-at-every-size-exercise-ed-recovery-answering-a-readers-question/
Idk. I feel some people here would be against my mentality, but maybe that's a risk I'll have to take
Original post by Riku
I read this and although the title may be a bit of a double-edged sword thought it's inspirational. I'm clearly having a battle about whether I'm allowed to exercise anymore like I used to and reading up on these things
I strongly believe that I can live a life not controlled by food and exercise but still healthy and active. I can't see why I should not make myself do anything that I strongly want to do (exercise freely, not every day but at my own will, without shame and regret-and for that matter exercise my own decisions and willpower). My thought pattern at the moment is more like don't exercise->obsess about not being able to do it it-> not do it anyway and just worry. Maybe if I just let myself do it when I wanted to, and got it over and done with, I could carry on my day as normal
(would only recommend for those in active recovery though!)
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/discuss/1586/
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2010/03/health-at-every-size-exercise-ed-recovery-answering-a-readers-question/
Idk. I feel some people here would be against my mentality, but maybe that's a risk I'll have to take
Spoiler
I read this and although the title may be a bit of a double-edged sword thought it's inspirational. I'm clearly having a battle about whether I'm allowed to exercise anymore like I used to and reading up on these things
I strongly believe that I can live a life not controlled by food and exercise but still healthy and active. I can't see why I should not make myself do anything that I strongly want to do (exercise freely, not every day but at my own will, without shame and regret-and for that matter exercise my own decisions and willpower). My thought pattern at the moment is more like don't exercise->obsess about not being able to do it it-> not do it anyway and just worry. Maybe if I just let myself do it when I wanted to, and got it over and done with, I could carry on my day as normal
(would only recommend for those in active recovery though!)
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/discuss/1586/
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2010/03/health-at-every-size-exercise-ed-recovery-answering-a-readers-question/
Idk. I feel some people here would be against my mentality, but maybe that's a risk I'll have to take
I found that blog post inspirational too; thank you for sharing that
and I understand your feelings about exercise; running is not just a weight loss tool for me, cross country is a huge passion and I don't feel I should have to deny myself something that makes my day better and my head clearer. I guess it's the eating part and the compulsions to burn calories that are the problem, not a love of a sport itself.Hey guys! I haven't been on TSR for ages. I'm getting really depressed about this whole business tbh. I just want to be better but it doesn't seem to be happening and I did really really try. I'm in a sort of in between stage where I'm not healthy in my thinking or my eating but people don't jump to eating disorder when they see me, they just assume I'm healthy. I think I'm at a point where I just have to live with it because I've been so much worse and I don't know how to push anymore (though I'm planning on taking lunch to uni and I'm even taking multivitamins which is really difficult for me). I was in more intensive treatment but it was literally only a two week thing and after that, they went back to once a month appointments. I'm fed up with treatment (but i know better now than to terminate it) and I'm fed up with trying to chase the ability to function I had before so I'm just pretending I'm fine and I desperately need to do well at university this time so nothing is going to mess it up for me. I hope this doesn't seem negative because even though I'm fed up, I'm also optimistic about the future. I just try to not think about my eating disorder because then I get sad. She says while on a thread about it.
hugs to everyone, just keep swimming lovelies!
hugs to everyone, just keep swimming lovelies!
Why can't you edit posts? That was Diamonddust.
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