Is it normal to fancy other people when you're in a relationship

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I felt exactly like this with my boyfriend of over a year, so much so that I decided to end it and see someone else - bad idea.
Regardless of how attractive they were, I realised that my boyfriend was the only one that really really loved me. I could be with 'some really hot guy' but no one will understand me as well as my boyfriend does or treat me as well as he does.
After realising my mistake we started things over and now it's perfect. I look at other boys and say 'phwoar I would' with my boyfriend around, that's normal, but I know that he's nothing compared to what I've got!
Just appreciate your boyfriend - all of the 'really hot guys' you're thinking about having sex with won't be a scratch on the guy you've already got.

Reply 21

MarkProbio

I think it is acceptable to find others attractive, just as it is acceptable to talk to other people while in a relationship. However there is a line that shouldn't be crossed; a lot of girls flirt with other guys and pass it off as "fun" (a trait I absolutely hate).

I also feel you're being slightly arrogant and naive, no offence. You could say he could find somebody more attractive to go out with or sleep with as well. If you're really willing to sacrifice a relationship for a one night stand then either your relationship isn't going anywhere or you're making a huge mistake. The grass isn't always greener.

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

Original post by MarkProbio

I think the main thing I feel is frustration when seeing hot guys. I think "why can't my boyfriend be that good looking!". It's just general wanting what I can't have.

Reply 23

MarkProbio

Original post by Anonymous

Yes of course. I'd never cheat.

I know they might have horrible personalities. I just mean I'd like to feel physical attraction to a guy I'm sleeping with. I like my boyfriends personality and he's a lovely guy but I don't get turned on thinking about him.

Then you need to end the relationship or.you may find yourself wanting to cheat in the future.

Reply 24

Anonymous #3

I felt like this with my ex - first serious boyfriend and I was not attracted to him physically at all. I don't think he really found me attractive either. If there is no spark then you can't force that so that's why I ended it.

Reply 25

Spontogical

Original post by Anonymous

Said no-one ever.

These are the same thought processes which occur before a lot of people cheat imo.

I mean, you don't get turned on thinking about him or anything.. doesn't that give you the answer you're looking for?

Reply 26

Arturo Bandini

why are you even with somebody that you don't think is good-looking/you're not even sexually attracted to??

Reply 27

Anonymous #1

Original post by Arturo Bandini

why are you even with somebody that you don't think is good-looking/you're not even sexually attracted to??

I don't know. We get on amazingly and I was initially attracted to him... It's just I can't see him as this sexy person anymore because we're so close. If that makes any sense. If he tries to be romantic or sexual it just makes me laugh... I can't really take it seriously.

Of course it is.

Original post by Slazenger

begs the question why he's ended up as your boyfriend and not simply your friend.

This. What she said is practically the definition of friendzone.

Reply 30

Foxriver

It's normal to find other people attractive, but it's not normal to not find your boyfriend attractive in my opinion.

Reply 31

Anonymous #4

This is interesting because one of my friends recently said that she notices boys all the time now she's in a relationship and asked us if we experience it too, and the 3 other people who were there to hear her say it said no, they don't. Personally I don't either, but I'm rubbish at noticing boys anyway, even when I'm single!

I'd say it's normal to notice them, but the fact that you sometimes wish you were single is the part that is more worrying. As someone else has already said, maybe you need to try and inject some of the excitement that was in your relationship at the start back into it?

Reply 32

Alexsouth007

How old are you? If your still young 4 it

Reply 33

BlueSheep32

Yeah, it's normal to think & acknowledge that other people are attractive when you're with someone, as long as you wouldn't act on those feelings because you're very happy and in love with the person you're with.

As for the wanting to be single again so you can feel the 'rush' of getting with hot guys...normal to an extent, as I sometimes miss the excitement of the early days of my relationship - 'the honeymoon phase' - when everything was fantastic and perfect, but then I realise that what I have with my boyfriend now is so much better than what we had then and we're much more settled with each other and know each other a lot better; after 2 years we're a lot more comfortable with each other but it's definitely not boring. You can't keep up the excitement that comes with a new relationship forever and if the fact that it's gone is really bothering you and you're wishing you were single so you could have that feeling back with someone else, then you need to think about whether you want to stay in this relationship or not.