Kissed/touched another guy but does my boyfriend have to know?

But again, there is a reality here that alcohol does often lead to stupid behaviour and sometimes very bad behaviour, in many contexts. Yet it is widely accepted as a pleasant social lubricant, when probably it should be banned!

Agree with you that it is an insulting inflammatory excuse where earth shattering betrayal has occurred. But I do feel in some contexts it could be weighed in as a mitigating factor.

Bet OP (if she is for real) wishes she had never sought out advice..

I wouldn't tell him if it were me - I wouldn't want to lose my boyfriend. If the guilt is eating you up, though, you may feel more comfortable by telling him, regardless of whether the relationship ends or not.

You what?!

I broke up with the only girl I ever loved because she kissed a guy in a nightclub, nothing more. Now there's been times I've regretted it because we'd probably be together now if I hadn't and I've missed her a lot.

but the point is, it's made me stronger as a person and when I've got a wife and kids that I know I can depend on I'll look back and think "I'm proud of myself for doing the right thing"

Whereas you'd probably look back and think "I was a sniffling little mug when I was a teenager and I should've manned up".

You're thinking of this from the wrong position. From the position of the cheater, I wouldn't tell him because presumably I would still want to be with my boyfriend. Obviously that doesn't necessarily mean my boyfriend would want to stay with me, but he wouldn't know.

I'm not so selfish as to keep such destructive secrets between my partner and I for personal gain. If I make a mistake like this, how I feel about it is irrelevent.

Then that's where we differ. I care about myself, first and foremost. Everyone else comes later.

See people like you don't look at the bigger picture:

WHY did your girlfriend cheat on you?

Where you satisfying her sexually, most likely not. It's not rocket science why women jump into bed with another man, obviously something wasn't right between the two of you.

Everyone makes mistake, we are humans at the end of the day

We all make mistakes, we are humans at the end of the day

haha we may not know anything about her relationship, but i can damn well bet you don't either. And no, in a healthy relationship, these things do NOT happen. Just because "men and women can be equally as susceptible" (which has no factual/statistical basis other than your "experience") it doesn't make it ok.
You may think of "a sliding scale", but that doesn't mean anyone else in the world does. Your thoughts are irrelevant in any form of argument/debate because they are meaningless. Nobody cares what you think.

And this is in no way a lynch mob response. They just all want her to confess. Maybe you should look at the history behind lynching before you throw that phrase about so carelessly.

Conclusion: you're an arrogant sod with nothing better to do than to barge into conversations with a false and pathetic sense of self-righteousness backed up by nothing more than your "experience" and "thoughts".


** by the way, it's "lynch mob", not "linch mob"

I think this charming contribution illustrates my point well... Some pretty intolerant people around.