Mental Health Support Society Mk X

Original post by Sultana

I've had an option of sitting my exams and submitting some missing coursework next summer, but without attending classes, which sounds similar to what you're doing?
In my case, I wouldn't be considered a student if I did this. So I wouldn't get any help from Student Finance, but could apply for some benefits. I'm not sure if that would be the same for you, obviously you need to contact your uni asap on Monday.
Worth mentioning that if you get DLA you can still apply for ESA even when a student. Also, you might want to look about applying to the Access to Learning fund that your uni will have - I've been told if I did withdraw until next summer I could apply for that to help with costs before any benefits got sorted out.

This is really good news for you, so try not to stress about the financial side of things until you can speak to people and get some proper answers. :hugs:

yeah thats what iv been offered, resitting my dissertation as it failed this time, and submitting my placement file (which i got extenuating cicumstances for, so havnt completed yet) but not attending lectures or going into uni.
i have to phone uni up on monday anyway to talk to student services, so i will ask them then.
atm i dont get DLA but my support worker was looking into that aswell, but i dont think i could get anything from it...

its good news, as i can finish my degree with less stress (other than money) and less costs, as it would only cos the £80 resit fee :smile:

Reply 6062

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by bullettheory

Sorry I haven't been around much at all. A belated congrats to everyone who got their results, and for those who didn't get what they wanted, remember that things always seem to work out in the end.

My mum is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday - they are removing her brain tumour which is apparently the size of an orange :s Hopefully all will go well, but there is a lot of risks.

I haven't been great. Shadows constantly being troublesome, pretty much crying every day. All the shadows say is that I'm losing everyone and its all my fault because I didn't do what they say. Struggling. I was meant to see the consultant at the CMHT for an initial meeting but I had to change it cus of my mum, and I have no idea when I will get another one. I really need some support atm though, can feel myself slipping big time.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Sending loads of positive vibes your way, for your mum's operations. The shadows are lying - they have no influence over the physical health and wellbeing of others. You did not do this to your mum, I promise you :hugs:

Reply 6063

Original post by PonchoKid

so proud you managed to go out hun :smile:

you dont have to make a decision on uni yet, and remember you can always defer for a year :smile:

and you definately do have a kind heart :yep:

Thanks for your support hun :hugs:

Hope things are okay, feel free to PM any time if you want a chat :hugs:

Original post by octoberbaby

Still worrying what to do in regards of uni? You've still got some time so if you haven't decided yet it's fine :hugs:

Good on you for going out, well done :smile:

& old man speaks the truth :biggrin:

I haven't really thought much about what I'm going to do today so still no closer to a decision. My head has felt quite clouded today so I'm trying not to overthink anything in case I make a silly decision. I am an EXPERT on burying my head in the sand. :teehee:

Thanks hun :hugs:

Original post by lonelybrummie

I keep on trying to tell myself that everything will be fine, I don't think it will get better. I mean I've seen people do great and me, I think that gets me so down because that's meant to be me. It isn't though.

I hope I have done better than I think, it's just that I really need something good going for me now otherwise I'm going to go AWOL.

Thank you for your support. :smile:

I know how rubbish that feeling is :console:

Sorry my mind is rather muddled so can't offer much advice or think clearly right now, but if you want to PM me then feel free, and I'll listen and try and help as best as I can. Either way, I wish you all the best, things can and will get better.

Reply 6064

asdfgah

1

Not really feeling too good. Dunno what to do tbh. I think everyone would think it was irrational if I did what I want to. They're wrong but also would be **** if nobody ever understood. So I guess that means I shouldn't. I'm not sure.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6065

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

You're def an angel. What a wise old man you met! :yep:

Thanks hun. :h:

Hope things are good your end, sorry I haven't been in touch today :lovehug:

Reply 6066

Original post by IDukem

Came back from my holiday/break where it was nice and peaceful and away from big cities/towns for a bit. Starting to get post-holiday blues as I liked the peace and calmness of not having to do anything stressful. There was this nice spot where I overlooked the beach and at sunset, it was amazing.

Glad your time away was peaceful. There's nothing better than the beach :h:

It's definitely common to get post holiday blues though :sadnod:

Hope things are okay generally :hugs:

Reply 6067

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by 08batee

Thanks hun. :h:

Hope things are good your end, sorry I haven't been in touch today :lovehug:

No worries lovely, we don't have to speak everyday! Just whenever you wanna chat :yes:

Reply 6068

Original post by bullettheory

Sorry I haven't been around much at all. A belated congrats to everyone who got their results, and for those who didn't get what they wanted, remember that things always seem to work out in the end.

My mum is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday - they are removing her brain tumour which is apparently the size of an orange :s Hopefully all will go well, but there is a lot of risks.

I haven't been great. Shadows constantly being troublesome, pretty much crying every day. All the shadows say is that I'm losing everyone and its all my fault because I didn't do what they say. Struggling. I was meant to see the consultant at the CMHT for an initial meeting but I had to change it cus of my mum, and I have no idea when I will get another one. I really need some support atm though, can feel myself slipping big time.

got everything crossed for your mum! really hope shes ok :hugs:

the shadows lie, and none of it is your fault! your too amazing for anything bad to be your fault :yep:

Spoiler

could you prehaps phone the bristol crisis team or something just for support while your there??

Original post by 08batee

Thanks for your support hun :hugs:

Hope things are okay, feel free to PM any time if you want a chat :hugs:

atleast promise me this, if you choose not to go THIS year, will you deffer, to atleast think about it for next year? please? :h:

Reply 6069

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

No worries lovely, we don't have to speak everyday! Just whenever you wanna chat :yes:

Original post by PonchoKid

atleast promise me this, if you choose not to go THIS year, will you deffer, to atleast think about it for next year? please? :h:

I don't think I'll rule anything out. :smile:

It's just that I don't feel ready for it. I don't feel as though I'm good enough to go, and I'll feel so inadequate to everyone on my course. I was talking to a friend earlier about the situation and they don't understand. On paper, things look fine. Good grades, good references etc. 'But you're so clever!' is always the response - they don't get it, I may be good at exams but I'm not intelligent. In my head I just know I won't be able to cope. I don't even mean the mental health side of it, I'm gotten into quite a competitive and highly regarded course in that everyone there will have gotten AAA as an absolute minimum (most of them will have A*AA and above) and everyone will just be so much better than me. I can't even explain it :s-smilie:

Ugh. I just know I'm not ready and no one seems to understand :s-smilie:

Reply 6070

Original post by 08batee

I don't think I'll rule anything out. :smile:

It's just that I don't feel ready for it. I don't feel as though I'm good enough to go, and I'll feel so inadequate to everyone on my course. I was talking to a friend earlier about the situation and they don't understand. On paper, things look fine. Good grades, good references etc. 'But you're so clever!' is always the response - they don't get it, I may be good at exams but I'm not intelligent. In my head I just know I won't be able to cope. I don't even mean the mental health side of it, I'm gotten into quite a competitive and highly regarded course in that everyone there will have gotten AAA as an absolute minimum (most of them will have A*AA and above) and everyone will just be so much better than me. I can't even explain it :s-smilie:

Ugh. I just know I'm not ready and no one seems to understand :s-smilie:

have you thought about going to a less competative uni? if your doing a course you enjoy, then aslong as you like the uni it will be fine, and if you dont think the competativeness will be good for you then is it worth risking your health over to push yourself so much to go?

i went to a crap uni, infact when i went it was a university college, because i didnt get the grades, but im so glad i chose that uni because i fit in with most people on my course, yeah there was academic people with really good GCSEs but then there was lots like me that wernt so clever. and i think id have done worse at a better uni honestly...

also, there are 9 ways to be clever, so dont say your not because you ARE :smile:

but you dont need to think about it right now this second, but it is worth thinking about your options hun, even if you dont go to uni this year, look at next year when youv had a year out :hugs:

Reply 6071

sleeping pills are in a suitcase on the landing so i cant go get them.
feeling really **** and want to either cry or sleep but i cant ****ing do either :frown:

just want a cuddle and to be told everything will be ok :s-smilie:

Reply 6072

Sabertooth

Anyone taken zolpidem? Got some for insomnia not tried it before. How's it compare to zopiclone?

Really looking forward to bedtime now, hoping for the first good night's sleep in about 5 days. :crossedf:

Reply 6073

Idle

2

Eurgh my mum is just seriously not helping at the moment :sigh:

I know it was just the anniversary of my dad dying this week but she is just utterly ****ing miserable to be around, **** I have mental health problems as-well but I at-least smile and try make the best of a ****ty situation even if inside I am not feeling happy. She moans I'm not spending any time with her and she feels alone yet if I do her looking so miserable and just being so pessimistic triggers me into feeling very bad myself.

When I mentioned I am going to be applying to mostly uni's far away she got upset and came out with "so you are going to leave me here alone?" She has NO right to say that after being abusive to me when I was younger and continuing to be verbally aggressive whenever I disagree with her. She is a large factor in me wanting to move out, I won't tell her that but why on earth would I want to stay and be around such a negative influence that triggers my depression? I do feel sorry for her in that she doesn't have many friends and she lost my dad (who she was verbally and physically abusive to as well) but I think in this instance I have to put my own sanity first. I promised my dad when he was dying that I would take care of her but I am sure if he could see what this is all doing to me he would accept it's something I have to do.

Reply 6074

Sabertooth

Original post by Idle

Eurgh my mum is just seriously not helping at the moment :sigh:

I know it was just the anniversary of my dad dying this week but she is just utterly ****ing miserable to be around, **** I have mental health problems as-well but I at-least smile and try make the best of a ****ty situation even if inside I am not feeling happy. She moans I'm not spending any time with her and she feels alone yet if I do her looking so miserable and just being so pessimistic triggers me into feeling very bad myself.

When I mentioned I am going to be applying to mostly uni's far away she got upset and came out with "so you are going to leave me here alone?" She has NO right to say that after being abusive to me when I was younger and continuing to be verbally aggressive whenever I disagree with her. She is a large factor in me wanting to move out, I won't tell her that but why on earth would I want to stay and be around such a negative influence that triggers my depression? I do feel sorry for her in that she doesn't have many friends and she lost my dad (who she was verbally and physically abusive to as well) but I think in this instance I have to put my own sanity first. I promised my dad when he was dying that I would take care of her but I am sure if he could see what this is all doing to me he would accept it's something I have to do.

It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought and it can't be an easy decision for you but I think you're right; your mental health should come first here. :hugs:

I think all parents get a bit emotional when their last kid leaves home, especially if they have no partner for company but you've told me before how she treats you so I don't think you should be expected to stay. If you want to maybe you could help her find a way to meet friends or new people? Perhaps look if there's a book club or something near by? Internet dating might be an option even although I could imagine your mum might not be ready for that.

Reply 6075

Idle

2

Original post by Sabertooth

It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought and it can't be an easy decision for you but I think you're right; your mental health should come first here. :hugs:

I think all parents get a bit emotional when their last kid leaves home, especially if they have no partner for company but you've told me before how she treats you so I don't think you should be expected to stay. If you want to maybe you could help her find a way to meet friends or new people? Perhaps look if there's a book club or something near by? Internet dating might be an option even although I could imagine your mum might not be ready for that.

Thanks for the reply :hugs:

I'd happily help her, if she was actually willing to make an effort.. I have suggested things in the past and the reply I have got is "oh what is the point" it's that kind of negativity I really need to get away from. The friends she does have she is lucky to have because in the past when drunk she has slipped into the verbally aggressive person she is/was around me and my dad and basically told them to **** off etc.. Ironically one told me the conversation one of the times was that she needs to try and support me with my illness :rolleyes:

It is getting to the point that except for financial support she is just becomming a massive pain in the ass and negative influence on my life, my CPN and Psychiatrist have actively encouraged me to apply to the council for housing in the past while I am at college because of her effect on me.

A classic case is tonight, we're going for a meal for my b'day on Sunday with my family and my nan gave me some money to buy some "nice" shoes earlier this week, bless her :tongue:

Anyway I ordered some online that will come next week but apparently I was meant to buy them so I could wear them to this meal, why I don't know but either way it would be rather hard because I am a size 13 and most shops don't stock them, online is better. This started the standard lines that I am ****ing useless, I don't do anything right, I am incapable of basic things etc.. I said I have some black ones for occasions that I can wear but still she went on... I had to go for a walk because I just wanted to punch her in the face and was physically shaking for about 30 minutes after. At-least she doesn't get in my face, slam doors on me or try and push + slap me anymore, when I was young and could push me around she would but she knows what would happen if she tried now :rolleyes:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 6076

IDukem

14

Original post by 08batee

Glad your time away was peaceful. There's nothing better than the beach :h:

It's definitely common to get post holiday blues though :sadnod:

Hope things are okay generally :hugs:

I love the beach!! I love a good view of a beach also :h:

Yeah that's unfortunately true but I guess it's onwards and upwards :smile:

I could be better but I could also be worse but thank you for asking :biggrin:

How was your results? You can pm me if you like telling me them or we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to :smile:

By the way, that old man is correct on so many levels!! You're so lovely and compassionate that it's no surprise that other people take notice :h:

Reply 6077

avhhs

11

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

I think your parents are right. Good decision you've made there :yes:

Fab stuff! :woo:

You're def an angel. What a wise old man you met! :yep:

Well, I'm gonna try UEL and Kingston today, but I'm not too confident :erm:

worth a try I guess :wink:

Original post by bullettheory

Sorry I haven't been around much at all. A belated congrats to everyone who got their results, and for those who didn't get what they wanted, remember that things always seem to work out in the end.

My mum is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday - they are removing her brain tumour which is apparently the size of an orange :s Hopefully all will go well, but there is a lot of risks.

I haven't been great. Shadows constantly being troublesome, pretty much crying every day. All the shadows say is that I'm losing everyone and its all my fault because I didn't do what they say. Struggling. I was meant to see the consultant at the CMHT for an initial meeting but I had to change it cus of my mum, and I have no idea when I will get another one. I really need some support atm though, can feel myself slipping big time.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Oh no

Hope she gets better :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6078