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Son has royally bombed

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Original post by TenOfThem
This forum is available for anyone to get advice

nervousmum was asking for advice so that she could offer the best level of support to her son


I think you're misunderstanding where I'm coming from. I'm questioning why it isn't her son, who doesn't really show much independence in his studies. A glance of Nervous Mum's post history reflects this. If her son was adamant on going to university, surely he would be the one posting on these forums to enquire on his options rather than delegating it to a parent?
Original post by TenOfThem
Well I am, but my insight is more to do with experience that intelligence


And it is wrong, to use your 'intelligent' argument method.
Original post by VeniViciVidi
I think you're misunderstanding where I'm coming from. I'm questioning why it isn't her son, who doesn't really show much independence in his studies. A glance of Nervous Mum's post history reflects this. If her son was adamant on going to university, surely he would be the one posting on these forums to enquire on his options rather than delegating it to a parent?


We have no idea what or where her son is posting - nor who else he is talking to

It is very possible that he does not know that his mum was asking for help on here

Would you prefer that she were posting on Mumsnet where there are similar threads


Most parents feel helpless at this time of their children's lives - those that want to have knowledge so that they can support need to ask someone
Original post by Azarimanka
And it is wrong, to use your 'intelligent' argument method.


You seem a little confused

I doubt if it is worth arguing with you
Original post by TenOfThem
You seem a little confused

I doubt if it is worth arguing with you


Not really - I was merely mirroring your preferred method of simply denying an argument. I'm not sure you are that bright.
Original post by TenOfThem
We have no idea what or where her son is posting - nor who else he is talking to

It is very possible that he does not know that his mum was asking for help on here

Would you prefer that she were posting on Mumsnet where there are similar threads


Most parents feel helpless at this time of their children's lives - those that want to have knowledge so that they can support need to ask someone


I just find it odd that an 18 year old isn't taking responsibility for it himself.

I don't really care where she gets her information from, I'm just puzzled by the seemingly lack of independence from her son which paints a picture of his ambitions to be independent at university.

I appreciate the devil's advocate, but that is why I was asking the OP in the first place.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by VeniViciVidi
I just find it odd that an 18 year old isn't taking responsibility for it himself.


But that is an assumption

I appreciate the devil's advocate, but that is why I was asking the OP in the first place.


I doubt that she will be back now :smile:
Original post by TenOfThem
But that is an assumption


I think it was a reasonably safe assumption to make. But, alas.
An incorrect fact
Original post by VeniViciVidi
I think it was a reasonably safe assumption to make. But, alas.


Probably was

I just think (as a parent) that any parent willing to take to the web and ask for support should get it :smile:
I would get phoning around.
Original post by mulberry1
Don't be too harsh on him, those are hard subjects. I'm sure he could have got an a in photography, but would you be as proud of him?


physics is harder than biology... photography is applied physics :facepalm2:
Reply 72
Avatar for Stacywill
Stacywill
To be honest, I'd be getting HIM to call the universities if HE really wants to get a place. Perhaps his grades fell because you did too much for him! He is an adult so needs to start doing things like this himself. Sorry to sound harsh but I literally had to do everything myself from age 11! I know you're worried and want the best for him, I'm a mum too, but honestly, you have done your part now, you need to take a step back and allow him to sort this out - it'll be a life lesson itself! And I'm sure he will get a place somewhere; the unis are charging £9k and the smaller ones are wanting as many students as they can get. Any idea why his grades fell? Does he definitely want to go to university?

Best wishes x
Original post by Stacywill
To be honest, I'd be getting HIM to call the universities if HE really wants to get a place. Perhaps his grades fell because you did too much for him! He is an adult so needs to start doing things like this himself. Sorry to sound harsh but I literally had to do everything myself from age 11! I know you're worried and want the best for him, I'm a mum too, but honestly, you have done your part now, you need to take a step back and allow him to sort this out - it'll be a life lesson itself! And I'm sure he will get a place somewhere; the unis are charging £9k and the smaller ones are wanting as many students as they can get. Any idea why his grades fell? Does he definitely want to go to university?

Best wishes x


May have been better to read the thread first :smile:
Original post by carnationlilyrose
Well, we don't know that he doesn't have an alias on here also, I suppose. Speaking as a mother myself, I perhaps have more sympathy with the feeling of helplessness you have when faced with an adolescent in a state of terror like a startled rabbit frozen in headlights and not knowing what to do. It's a counsel of perfection to say 'leave them to it, they'll never learn otherwise', and as a teacher I have said it many times, but as a parent, it really isn't easy to watch them crash and burn when you can prevent it. It kind of goes with the territory. Some kids grow up sooner than others.


I can only speak for myself, but independently sorting out my complete fu*k up at A level was one of the best learning experiences i ever had.
Original post by jimmy93_rick
I can only speak for myself, but independently sorting out my complete fu*k up at A level was one of the best learning experiences i ever had.

I'm quite sure you are right. However, parents have emotions too and it is hard to turn your back on someone in distress.
Original post by maskofsanity
If I was nervousmum, I would be advising him to take a gap year and do re-sits. It is not worth £50,000 to go to these low-tier universities that are just desperate for anyone. What's the point rushing into massive debt and 3-4 years of your life? Take a year out, save up some money, do some re-sits and get into a university that isn't scouring the web for helpless parents and students with dollar signs in its eyes.


Exactly what i would do.
Original post by Azarimanka
How insightful - you must be really clever.


I can see why you have such a low reputation. Do you want to be banned?
Original post by University for the Creative Arts

Though grades are important here at The University for the Creative Arts there not all we consider.


:eek:
Original post by rattusratus
physics is harder than biology... photography is applied physics :facepalm2:


Depends, at least it's more math based which would have probably been more suitable for the OP's son.

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