How to seem approachable?

Any tips on seeming approachable/friendly and on meeting/talking to new people?

I'm trying to view uni as a fresh start but I have literally no self-confidence and I suck at talking to people. :frown:

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Reply 1

Youdontneedtokno

I can relate to you, as im starting college in a few weeks and feel really anti-social!

Reply 2

Kre

http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Approachable

In all seriousness though, you need to build up your self-confidence first to avoid awkward situations. This might help... http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence

University is a time where a lot of people re-invent themselves or try to become more sociable. You'll get he hang of striking up conversation with random people pretty quickly, trust me. All it takes is a little time and determination. Also, alcohol can help very very very well in this process, especially the first awkward night out with your new friends/flatmates. :smile:

Reply 3

FlickerWick

Original post by Youdontneedtokno

I can relate to you, as im starting college in a few weeks and feel really anti-social!

Tell me about it. My social skills extend to making tea and that's about it.

I've got all these visions about me/my flatmates chilling and getting lashed etc - in my head, I'm confident - but when it comes to putting that stuff into practice I just know it isn't going to happen. :rolleyes:

Reply 4

spockbrows

I'm the same. A lot of people suggest leaving your door open to your room when you aren't studying and stuff so people can chat to you, hang out in communal areas and the like.

Reply 5

Youdontneedtokno

Original post by FlickerWick

In these long holidays, i've just not talked to people face to face and feel i might go through some sort of breakdown. The reality of going back to college has really hit me! I just dont want to be seen as grumpy.

Reply 6

11flon

Smile and try to come across as relaxed and friendly and act confident even if you aren't :tongue:

I always used to be quite shy, then I got a job which meant I had to talk to customers a lot which was something I was awful at to begin with because I got so nervous in case they thought I was weird or whatever. But then I realised that you can't please everyone, it's hard to put yourself out there and start a conversation with someone knowing they might not be interested in talking to you but you just have to accept there'll be some knockbacks and not let it upset you, just move on and hope it goes better next time! If you're nice and friendly and someone isn't interested in talking to you , you just have to realise that that's their decision and not necessarily a bad reflection on you so don't let it get you down :smile:

Anyway at uni there will be so many people in the same boat, especially on freshers week when everyone's trying to make friends! So just keep in mind that plenty of people are in the same situation and keep putting yourself out there, for example I found a Facebook page for freshers at my uni on the drive down there and asked if I could tag along with a few people from my accomodation who were meeting up and then met a load of people that night and ended up meeting up wi them again and becoming really good friends :smile:

it was scary to randomly message someone I hadn't met yet but I'm so glad I did it now.

I'm sure as long as you're friendly you'll meet people you get on with, you just have to make sure you don't let the lack of confidence get to you. The more times you approach new people the easier it gets! Good luck at uni btw :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 7

FlickerWick

Ugh, NERVOUS. :angry:

Thanks for the help, appreciate it. Anybody else feel like chipping in?

Reply 8

wildrover

Try and leave your door open at time souring Freshers week so you seem approachable and try to spend time in the communal areas if you have them. Other than that just try and say hello to people and smile :biggrin:

Reply 9

Infinity_4652

Original post by FlickerWick

Tell me about it. My social skills extend to making tea and that's about it.
I've got all these visions about me/my flatmates chilling and getting lashed etc - in my head, I'm confident - but when it comes to putting that stuff into practice I just know it isn't going to happen. :rolleyes:

I am no different to you! :smile:

My 2 years of college start in September.
Literally so nervous on making friends!!

Reply 10

Mattheatre

YOu would be surprised. Many people joining your university will be in the same boat as you and will have no idea of what to do or how to talk to people. You'll start a conversation. I find having a drink or some form of barrier between us helps with the confidence boosting.

Reply 11

DalimIrubab

Wear a name tag, turn up with a tray full of cakes and a sign saying 'My name is X, I will give you a cake if you talk to me'

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Reply 12

ladynova

smile!

and most of all be open minded. You may think there are certain people you click with more but do not be closed off to the types of people you do not normally associated with they could become your bestfriends!

Reply 13

Siena4996

Various people have already said it but the most important thing is to smile, leave your door open for people to check in or hang out in the kitchen. Your flatmates are going to try to get to know you so just go with the flow and you'll be fine :smile:

Find people you have things in common with and talk to them, that's probably the fastest way to make good friends.

Reply 14

FlickerWick

Original post by Siena4996

Find people you have things in common with and talk to them, that's probably the fastest way to make good friends.

I basically can't cook. If I were to see someone getting ready to cook something and were to ask them to show me how to cook whatever it is they're cooking, would they find that creepy? :colondollar:

Reply 15

AwsomePossum

When people look at you tilt your head and rest it on either shoulder, roll your eyes back and flutter your tongue at them whilst hissing. I hope this helps :smile:

Serious advice now: Just try and find someone else in the room who looks equally as awkward/ uncomfortable and try and try and strike up a conversation with them. They'll probably be grateful that someones talking to them s you should hit it off. If everyone's already in large groups bite the bullet and try and talk to the least intimidating one?

Reply 16

AwsomePossum

Original post by FlickerWick

I basically can't cook. If I were to see someone getting ready to cook something and were to ask them to show me how to cook whatever it is they're cooking, would they find that creepy? :colondollar:

Only if you attempt to taste the food in the pan with your tounge or sniff them when you approach them :smile:

Reply 17

Siena4996

Original post by FlickerWick

I basically can't cook. If I were to see someone getting ready to cook something and were to ask them to show me how to cook whatever it is they're cooking, would they find that creepy? :colondollar:

No, not at all. Few people can cook when they get to halls so asking how to cook whatever they're cooking is actually a great conversations starter!

Reply 18

FlickerWick

Original post by Siena4996

No, not at all. Few people can cook when they get to halls so asking how to cook whatever they're cooking is actually a great conversations starter!

How would you phrase something like that? Could you give an example or two?

I know you can't exactly plan conversations in advance, but I literally don't know what to say.

Reply 19

Siena4996

Original post by FlickerWick

How would you phrase something like that? Could you give an example or two?

I know you can't exactly plan conversations in advance, but I literally don't know what to say.

You could say something along the lines of: Wow, that smells great (or) that looks delicious! What is it? (or if you know what it is) How'd you make that? Just seem interested and friendly and the conversation will progress from there. Trust me, food is easy to talk about. Everyone loves it :smile: