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Would you be okay if your boyfriend or girlfriend had a lot of guy/girls friends?

I am dealing with my boyfriend having A LOT of female friends and it is starting to get to me know :frown:

Would you guys care or would it not bother you? Be honest

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Reply 1
My (ex)girlfriend had real issues that I had a lot of female friends and it annoyed me greatly that it annoyed her. I have never cheated in any relationship ever and I can't stand control/paranoia etc - just trust them.
Reply 2
Original post by supernature
I am dealing with my boyfriend having A LOT of female friends and it is starting to get to me know :frown:

Would you guys care or would it not bother you? Be honest


I know it's cliched a bit, but guys and girls *can* just be friends... Sure, some can't, and people might post up videos of students being interviewed about it, but at the end of the day, it is possible to be "just friends", and nothing more.

Personally, most (>80%) of my friends are female. It's totally OK to be nervous about this, especially if it's getting to you, but if they genuinely are "just friends", then it would be like him asking you to stop hanging around with your (female) friends... As at least for me, I don't see female friends differently at all to male ones.

Have you met any of them before? Maybe that would help?

Some guys cheat, but from all my female friends' stories, it's the "hidden" female friends that are more of a concern - if he's open about having his female friends, then he's making you aware... It's if they are "hidden" that it's usually more of a worry.
Original post by supernature
I am dealing with my boyfriend having A LOT of female friends and it is starting to get to me know :frown:

Would you guys care or would it not bother you? Be honest


Being honest... this would annoy me yeah :tongue: (I'm a girl)
No, not that i wouldnt trust my girlfriend, its just that 9/10 times a guy cant just be friends with a girl who is moderately attractive.
Reply 5
Original post by Strath
I know it's cliched a bit, but guys and girls *can* just be friends... Sure, some can't, and people might post up videos of students being interviewed about it, but at the end of the day, it is possible to be "just friends", and nothing more.

Personally, most (>80%) of my friends are female. It's totally OK to be nervous about this, especially if it's getting to you, but if they genuinely are "just friends", then it would be like him asking you to stop hanging around with your (female) friends... As at least for me, I don't see female friends differently at all to male ones.

Have you met any of them before? Maybe that would help?

Some guys cheat, but from all my female friends' stories, it's the "hidden" female friends that are more of a concern - if he's open about having his female friends, then he's making you aware... It's if they are "hidden" that it's usually more of a worry.


I have seen a few of them, he's just generally a very flirty guy so that doesn't help. But on Facebook, they are quite a few photos of him with other girls, they aren't bad but it just pisses me off. Guess i'm the jealous type :frown:
Reply 6
I wouldn't mind at all, because I only have a few girl friends because I just seem to get on with guys better, so my friends consist of mainly guys.

So if I had a boyfriend that had a lot of girl friends, I wouldn't mind. It's not like he's going to cheat or anything. Just trust the guy, and hopefully everything will work out! :biggrin:
Reply 7
Original post by supernature
I have seen a few of them, he's just generally a very flirty guy so that doesn't help. But on Facebook, they are quite a few photos of him with other girls, they aren't bad but it just pisses me off. Guess i'm the jealous type :frown:


My best friend is probably more flirty (you wouldn't believe it unless you knew her!), it's just her way. I'm used to it, don't even notice it now.

If it makes you feel jealous, perhaps you wish he spent more time with you? Or something similar? Jealousy usually stems from a lack of something. Get more of it and the relationship should be better for you both. Maybe you are wishing to spend more time or go out more often, making you jealous if he goes out with his friends?
Reply 8
Original post by Strath
My best friend is probably more flirty (you wouldn't believe it unless you knew her!), it's just her way. I'm used to it, don't even notice it now.

If it makes you feel jealous, perhaps you wish he spent more time with you? Or something similar? Jealousy usually stems from a lack of something. Get more of it and the relationship should be better for you both. Maybe you are wishing to spend more time or go out more often, making you jealous if he goes out with his friends?


Thank you for your advice, makes a lot of sense. I suppose a part of it may be due to the fact that we don't spend that much time together, I hope to change that soon :smile:
My boyfriend has plenty of female friends. Some of them are TOO friendly and ask far to menu questions about us and how serious we are and if we are going to last etc. I was uncomfortable with those kind of friends. They wouldn't talk to me just to him. I didn't like it and I let him know. He felt the same. As if they were jealous or something, like they were snooting around our relationship and he stopped talking to them. I never asked him to stop talking to them I told him I didn't like how they spoke about our relationship. We have been together a long time and we are living together. I don't understand why some girls feel the need to get all nosey about if we are going last or not. We have no issues about lasting. He still has girl friends and it doesn't bother me :smile:
Reply 10
Nope!! Would not have a problem with that as long as they weren't getting too friendly and knew where they stood :smile:


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Reply 11
Original post by supernature
Thank you for your advice, makes a lot of sense. I suppose a part of it may be due to the fact that we don't spend that much time together, I hope to change that soon :smile:


No worries. Yup I could tell from what you wrote that there was something on your mind that you wanted to resolve, and a little bit of intuition told me it would be that :smile: I guess it's the perk of being relationship advisor for all your female friends :smile: That sounds good, get more time together, and see how it goes.

Original post by Liivayyyyy
My boyfriend has plenty of female friends. Some of them are TOO friendly and ask far to menu questions about us and how serious we are and if we are going to last etc. I was uncomfortable with those kind of friends. They wouldn't talk to me just to him. I didn't like it and I let him know. He felt the same. As if they were jealous or something, like they were snooting around our relationship and he stopped talking to them. I never asked him to stop talking to them I told him I didn't like how they spoke about our relationship. We have been together a long time and we are living together. I don't understand why some girls feel the need to get all nosey about if we are going last or not. We have no issues about lasting. He still has girl friends and it doesn't bother me :smile:


Girls (and guys too!) can sometimes have a habit to just like to enquire about relationships, as from my experience they like to know the gossip of who is with whom, how it's going etc. I'd not immediately put that down to bad intentions, personally. Sure, there are some who might want to get in there, but it won't be all of them, I'm sure! If he did that though, it solves the issue from your perspective anyway.
I'd be a hypocrite if I said it wasn't ok; as most of my friends are male.
Reply 13
I have a similar problem, but just keep it cool, just don't become one of those bossy gf, if you love him, trust him.
Has he ever cheated on you yo make you feel uneasy ??

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I wouldn't be happy about it if I'm honest, but there's really not much you can do ...
Reply 15
Original post by Foo.mp3
Only an issue if any of them are hotter than you and clearly keen on him and/or he gives you a solid reason to think he may fool around :beard:

My ex's friends were mostly male but all boys compared with me, literally, and I'm a composed person/good judge of character, so it phased me not

No offence, but you come across as a right tit in this post. I suggest you grow up.

EDIT: Just looked at this guys posting history. Tit status confirmed.
Reply 16
99% of my friends are guys and my boyfriend never seems to have been bothered by it. They're all totally platonic and I know it would annoy me if someone implied otherwise and started getting controlling over it, so for that reason I would never become that person to someone else. As long as they're just friends and your boyfriend hasn't given you any reason not to trust him, I don't see a problem with it.

Although it would start being a problem if he flirted with them and they were quite obviously crossing the friendship line. I wouldn't outright tell him to ditch his friends in that scenario, but I would bring it up.
OP, if it's too much for you just make a clean break. He is allowed to have friends but you don't have to put up with being his partner if realistically it adds too much stress/sucks the fun out of the relationship. Everyone is different after all and you can't be blamed for not being entirely comfortable with it, even if he is legit, because too many guys and girls aren't and you can't know yourself for sure who is and who isn't.

Best of luck.
i dont have a real issue and even if i did there is no way id have as little respect for my partner as to say "i dont like you having male friends"

My gf has an issue with one friend of mine, shes very attractive and we are quite huggy for the camera posing and making faces etc etc. But she knows id never do anything against her
I wouldn't mind. It depends on how he acts..
If he was a naturally flirty person I'd be worried even if he wasn't cheating. I can be pretty jealous.
But if there was no flirting at all I wouldn't care

Most of my friends are boys and as far as I know it's never been an issue in any relationship.

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