Hello everyone,
I have depression (it runs in my family) but also suffer from anxiety attacks and as I am starting uni next week I'm really starting to feel anxious already. The depression I can deal with as the majority of the time I am okay apart from the odd relapse but the anxiety attacks are much more difficult to handle.
Whenever I am in a kind of social situation that may be difficult to leave I start to feel really uneasy. This is difficult to explain, but often happens on public transport or classes at school, assemblies etc whenever it may be difficult to leave or when I will be judged by leaving. I realise this makes me sound hugely paranoid and very often it is the fear of having a panic attack that causes the panic attack in the first place which is a very vicious cycle as the more frequently I have an attack, the more conscious I am of having another.
It is like a constant stream of "what if I have a panic attack whilst I'm here, how would I be able to leave if I start to feel sick?" in my head and it makes me feel awful and I can't concentrate on anything around me.
This is making me particularly worried about starting uni (especially as I am moving away for it- I decided to move away almost as if to prove to myself that I could but now I'm seriously doubting I can) but actually what is worrying me the most is being able to handle lectures etc, being in a contained area for a length of time and being unable to concentrate on the lectures without feeling sick the whole time. Basically everywhere I go besides my house, I have to map out an escape route incase I become too ill to stay there, it's so irrational I understand that but I can't seem to help it.
I am so sorry for the ridiculously long post and I know I haven't explained this very well at all but basically I just wanted to know if there was anyone else who experiences anything similar to this or if anyone knows if there is a specific disorder that this sounds like (it's been a while since I went to the doctors about this specific anxiety) and if anyone has any advice as to how I can cope with this at uni.
Thank you in advance for any help