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Are men that date 'ladyboys' gay?

Before anyone reads this please note that this is just a question and I am in no way criticising anyone who is LGBT. I am an avid supporter of LGBT rights :smile:

Has anyone watched the show on Sky Living called 'Ladyboys'? I'll quickly explain: ladyboys are men that physically look like women (some of the men actually look like women) but are biologically men and have male genitalia.
'ladyboys' identify themselves as women and date men.

The show on Sky Living focuses on British men who emigrate to Thailand to begin lives with and date the 'ladyboys'; and the British men do physically look like and behave in the way society usually expects men to.

And so if the British men are dating Thai men that look like and identify themselves as women does that make them straight? Despite the fact they are technically having gay s*x; which should then make them gay. I concluded from this that the men who date ladyboys are bisexual as they're attracted to feminine features but also like masculine characteristics.

My confusion began when one British man argued that he is in fact not bisexual, but straight. Is he in denial about being bisexual or is he correct?

**I apologise if I have offended anyone as I know this is a sensitive issue to many people. :h:
(edited 10 years ago)

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What you have to keep in mind is the distinction between gender identity and biological sex. "Ladyboys" might have male genitalia, but they are still women: they're transwomen.

If they're not attracted to men; they're not bisexual or homosexual. It's that simple.
Reply 2
They are biologically men and have male genitalia .. so yes, gay. Idc if they look like women still gay.
Agree with Buskii.

It's like White Chicks, the black actors 'looked white', but they are really white, because they are biologically black guys.

The ladyboys look like women, but still have male genitalia, therefore if a biological man has physical sex with a ladyboy, there are indeed gay or bisexual.

No way if they are straight if they are playing around with guys' balls!
Reply 4
Gender is a social construct. You can be biologically male but be a woman, just as you can be biologically female but identify as a man. I definitely wouldn't say you are gay if you identify as a woman and are attracted to men; transgender people can be straight!
Gender is quite a fluid thing really, and can cover all kinds of factors as mentioned above. I believe most 'Ladyboys' actually identify as gay males, not females, but I suppose the argument could be extended to include transwomen as well as sexual attraction is mostly appearance-based.

Without getting into a complex gender debate, I think if someone looks like a woman, but is biologically male, it wouldn't make a man who found that individual attractive 'gay' (whether said individual identified as a man or a woman). The sexual attraction is towards a female body, not a male body. There are plenty of very convincing 'Ladyboys', and I'm sure most men who regard themselves as 100% straight would probably find some of them sexually attractive. It doesn't make them gay.

As for being with someone who looks female and identifies as male, it's probably a bit of a grey area. I don't think someone can be categorically placed into 'gay/straight/bi' based on that. I'm happy enough to let people decide what they are for themselves.
Reply 6
If they're attracted to people who identify as women, then they're straight.
They're dating women. So no, they're not gay.

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Reply 8
Its not straight, you may argue whether its gay or not, but I say its not straight imo. The phrase just hasnt been coined for these people I think

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Reply 9
Original post by Treeroy
Gender is a social construct. You can be biologically male but be a woman, just as you can be biologically female but identify as a man. I definitely wouldn't say you are gay if you identify as a woman and are attracted to men; transgender people can be straight!


I've read your post before about how you consider the soldier spy guy a woman because he says so.

By that logic, you can be 7ft tall and look like Arnold Swarzenegar and be a "woman" and it wouldn't be "gay" if you dated them... Uhm.. I'm gonna call you on this.

Firstly, as a straight man you are attracted to "women". I don't care if it's a trans woman or real woman, it needs to look like a woman. If it looks like a man and you're dating that person, I guarantee you're not dating that person because you consider that person a "woman". You'll prob be attracted to the manly features of that person. Lets be honest... If you saw two guys out, one person said "I consider myself a woman", would you suddenly go... "Ah, so they're not gay then".

Secondly (mainly to the OP), I've seen some smoking hot ladyboys who look like women. A gay man wouldn't date them because they look like women but I know a lot of guys will be confused. It's a difficult one as the ladyboy needs to look feminine to pull it off, because no straight guy will even think about going for a bloke in a dress.
(edited 10 years ago)
What's with all these labels man? Transformers, Decepticons, Gays, Straight? Chill out man.
Reply 11
Original post by shadowdweller
They're dating women. So no, they're not gay.

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Utter BS. And you know it.

Especially when we're talking about female men/non-op transwomen.
Reply 12
Original post by Hype en Ecosse
What you have to keep in mind is the distinction between gender identity and biological sex. "Ladyboys" might have male genitalia, but they are still women: they're transwomen.

I thought those "transwomen" are still men since their biological sex is a man, right? But it so happens that their gender is female (brain structure etc).

Am I right or wrong?
Reply 13
Original post by Mm_Minty
If they're attracted to people who identify as women, then they're straight.

But the transwoman has a penis ffs.

Are you telling me that if Daniel Craig identified as a woman (despite looking as masculine as he currently does) and I had sex with "her", I am still straight?

Bull****.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Cable
Utter BS. And you know it.

Especially when we're talking about female men/non-op transwomen.


A person's gender is what matters, not their sex. If they identify as female, they're female.

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Reply 15
Original post by Michaelj
Firstly, as a straight man you are attracted to "women". I don't care if it's a trans woman or real woman, it needs to look like a woman.

That's actually the stupidest thing I have read on this forum in quite some time. In fact, most of your post just oozes ignorance, both in general and with regard to this thread. This thread is talking about the technicalities of what makes one gay or straight, whereas you are talking about in practice ("let's be honest", etc).

I am attracted to feminine-looking guys, does that make me straight, no it doesn't.
I've watched it, and to be honest I do think that they are gay. But only in the case if the ladyboy hasn't gone through the sex change surgery and is planning on not to anyway. Those guys I think are just afraid of admitting they are gay, and perhaps don't want to go 'all the way' and just start seeing a guy. However the guys that date a ladyboy that has had a sex change or is planning on having one, I don't think are gay. If the ladyboy is identifying herself as a female and a woman and the guy falls for her based on that, then he's not gay


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Reply 17
Original post by shadowdweller
A person's gender is what matters, not their sex. If they identify as female, they're female.

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I'm not saying they aren't female. They clearly are. But they're not women. They still have a penis ffs.

I suppose it depends on your definitions of sexuality.

To you, sexual attraction is all about the gender.

To me, it's about the gender and biological sex. I admit to not caring much about sleeping with a really hot post-op transwoman. But there's no way in hell that I'll have sex with something that has a penis on it.
Original post by Cable
I'm not saying they aren't female. They clearly are. But they're not women. They still have a penis ffs.

I suppose it depends on your definitions of sexuality.

To you, sexual attraction is all about the gender.

To me, it's about the gender and biological sex. I admit to not caring much about sleeping with a really hot post-op transwoman. But there's no way in hell that I'll have sex with something that has a penis on it.


Well by female I also meant woman, but apparently we disagree on that front.

I think sexuality is based on gender, not biological sex.

I could have sworn you posted a thread about the former, with the complete opposite view :tongue: Whilst I don't agree with the latter, I suppose that's fair enough.

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(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 19
Original post by Clytemnestra
I've watched it, and to be honest I do think that they are gay. But only in the case if the ladyboy hasn't gone through the sex change surgery and is planning on not to anyway. Those guys I think are just afraid of admitting they are gay, and perhaps don't want to go 'all the way' and just start seeing a guy. However the guys that date a ladyboy that has had a sex change or is planning on having one, I don't think are gay. If the ladyboy is identifying herself as a female and a woman and the guy falls for her based on that, then he's not gay


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This, I think someone actively seeking out ladyboys is gay, or certainly not straight

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