Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Original post by snowyowl
I assume you're having the same problem... How are you dealing with it?
i'm not. I'm pretending it isnt happening. hiding quite how bad my anxiety is from my tutor (he's only aware of my panic attacks, and thats because the disabilty person for my department saw me have a panic attack, and then went and dobbed me in to my tutor...), not mentioning that fact that the urge to SI came back around easter, something i havent wanted to do since being 14... I'm about to start second year in 3 weeks time. Nor that i
Spoiler
I know i should probably go to the doctors about my anxiety, but I can't, and that i probably ought to go to the ED support group the university runs, but I'm so scared I'll be judged for being fat or for not being thin/sick/crazy enough. And i'm terrified my chinese flatmate will try and forcefeed me again.
Original post by Anonymous
i'm not. I'm pretending it isnt happening. hiding quite how bad my anxiety is from my tutor (he's only aware of my panic attacks, and thats because the disabilty person for my department saw me have a panic attack, and then went and dobbed me in to my tutor...), not mentioning that fact that the urge to SI came back around easter, something i havent wanted to do since being 14... I'm about to start second year in 3 weeks time. Nor that i
I know i should probably go to the doctors about my anxiety, but I can't, and that i probably ought to go to the ED support group the university runs, but I'm so scared I'll be judged for being fat or for not being thin/sick/crazy enough. And i'm terrified my chinese flatmate will try and forcefeed me again.
Spoiler
I know i should probably go to the doctors about my anxiety, but I can't, and that i probably ought to go to the ED support group the university runs, but I'm so scared I'll be judged for being fat or for not being thin/sick/crazy enough. And i'm terrified my chinese flatmate will try and forcefeed me again.
Definitely get help! An ED has no weight restriction
I hope my advice isn't being disregarded. Think about it - a mental disorder has no shape. It's ingrained in the brain. If your mind is deluded, ill, hurting, then it still looks like a regular brain; that's the issue in a lot of circumstances.
I meant limit^
Potential trigger:
Potential trigger:
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Jesus, Snowy, stop seeking out problems! I mean it. You're doing that thing where you purposely seek to destroy your mind by seeking out the most toxic stimulus possible. WHY?!
I can tell you why. You're doing that thing a person struggling with a disorder does where they think if they go to the "worst possible scenario" that they actually give themselves a proper template to work from.
Here's a thought. Does a man think, "I'm getting chubby. So I'm going to search for the most obese man possible to equalise myself to, then work from that."
No, of course not! Snowy, you're in a very, VERY destructive state, and it's very concerning. Amost like you're intending on self-destruction.
Stop it.
I can tell you why. You're doing that thing a person struggling with a disorder does where they think if they go to the "worst possible scenario" that they actually give themselves a proper template to work from.
Here's a thought. Does a man think, "I'm getting chubby. So I'm going to search for the most obese man possible to equalise myself to, then work from that."
No, of course not! Snowy, you're in a very, VERY destructive state, and it's very concerning. Amost like you're intending on self-destruction.
Stop it.
Original post by TotoMimo
I hope my advice isn't being disregarded. Think about it - a mental disorder has no shape. It's ingrained in the brain. If your mind is deluded, ill, hurting, then it still looks like a regular brain; that's the issue in a lot of circumstances.
I know there are people that read this thread regularly, myself included, that take in all your advice even if its not meant for us.. So its never being disregarded completely
Original post by TotoMimo
Jesus, Snowy, stop seeking out problems! I mean it. You're doing that thing where you purposely seek to destroy your mind by seeking out the most toxic stimulus possible. WHY?!
I can tell you why. You're doing that thing a person struggling with a disorder does where they think if they go to the "worst possible scenario" that they actually give themselves a proper template to work from.
Here's a thought. Does a man think, "I'm getting chubby. So I'm going to search for the most obese man possible to equalise myself to, then work from that."
No, of course not! Snowy, you're in a very, VERY destructive state, and it's very concerning. Amost like you're intending on self-destruction.
Stop it.
I can tell you why. You're doing that thing a person struggling with a disorder does where they think if they go to the "worst possible scenario" that they actually give themselves a proper template to work from.
Here's a thought. Does a man think, "I'm getting chubby. So I'm going to search for the most obese man possible to equalise myself to, then work from that."
No, of course not! Snowy, you're in a very, VERY destructive state, and it's very concerning. Amost like you're intending on self-destruction.
Stop it.
I was actually trying to find things that helped
but I found that instead. I wasn't sure if I was reading it wrong or if it genuinely did imply what I thought it did. 
You're right about the path to self-destruction, I think - but I've got something else causing me huge stress at the moment and I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with both things at once.
Hey guys
Thought I'd say that with uni coming up in the next couple of weeks, you may be feeling quite anxious about eating and being left to your own devices. If anyone needs any support with that, feel free to PM me. I went to uni less than a year after recovery (when relapsing is apparently most likely) but managed to eat right and enjoy myself. Now I've been recovered for 3 years. University is seriously the best time of your life. You don't want to look back on it 10 years later and wish you could've done it differently. x
Thought I'd say that with uni coming up in the next couple of weeks, you may be feeling quite anxious about eating and being left to your own devices. If anyone needs any support with that, feel free to PM me. I went to uni less than a year after recovery (when relapsing is apparently most likely) but managed to eat right and enjoy myself. Now I've been recovered for 3 years. University is seriously the best time of your life. You don't want to look back on it 10 years later and wish you could've done it differently. x
Heyy everyone.. I have a quick question. So I've started sixth form and it's going okay... But it's just so exhausting... A couple of times I've had moments where all of a sudden my legs feel really heavy and I can barely move a muscle (feels like I'm paralysed all of a sudden?)
It happened last night and again just now... It keeps making me panic. Just wondering if it's related anorexia and if anyone else has experienced it - if so... what is it?
But it's just so exhausting... A couple of times I've had moments where all of a sudden my legs feel really heavy and I can barely move a muscle (feels like I'm paralysed all of a sudden?)It happened last night and again just now... It keeps making me panic. Just wondering if it's related anorexia and if anyone else has experienced it - if so... what is it?
Original post by porridgeandrhi
Heyy everyone.. I have a quick question. So I've started sixth form and it's going okay... But it's just so exhausting... A couple of times I've had moments where all of a sudden my legs feel really heavy and I can barely move a muscle (feels like I'm paralysed all of a sudden?)
It happened last night and again just now... It keeps making me panic. Just wondering if it's related anorexia and if anyone else has experienced it - if so... what is it?
But it's just so exhausting... A couple of times I've had moments where all of a sudden my legs feel really heavy and I can barely move a muscle (feels like I'm paralysed all of a sudden?)It happened last night and again just now... It keeps making me panic. Just wondering if it's related anorexia and if anyone else has experienced it - if so... what is it?
Do you feel like your legs are made of lead and you're wading through a vat of toffee? If so, then I've had that before, and it's awful, and probably definitely related. Have you been restricting more than usual recently?
Posting anon just in case. What do you do when you're "seeing someone" and it could potentially develop into a relationship when you're recovering from anorexia? I'm worried that I won't be able to give him the attention he deserves and that I'm not stable enough for a relationship. Plus I doubt he'd understand and today he told me he "liked me as I am" which really messed with my head because I've been trying desperately to convince myself that my weight is not okay and I do need to gain, but now... argh.
Problem is I do really like him. And I don't want to hurt him. I don't know what to do.
Problem is I do really like him. And I don't want to hurt him. I don't know what to do.
Original post by Anonymous
Do you feel like your legs are made of lead and you're wading through a vat of toffee? If so, then I've had that before, and it's awful, and probably definitely related. Have you been restricting more than usual recently?
That's exactly how it feels! And nope, I haven't really made any changes in my eating so it makes no sense
Original post by porridgeandrhi
That's exactly how it feels! And nope, I haven't really made any changes in my eating so it makes no sense
i have no idea then chick. MAybe you're more tired than usualy, so more aware of it?
Original post by porridgeandrhi
Heyy everyone.. I have a quick question. So I've started sixth form and it's going okay... But it's just so exhausting... A couple of times I've had moments where all of a sudden my legs feel really heavy and I can barely move a muscle (feels like I'm paralysed all of a sudden?)
It happened last night and again just now... It keeps making me panic. Just wondering if it's related anorexia and if anyone else has experienced it - if so... what is it?
But it's just so exhausting... A couple of times I've had moments where all of a sudden my legs feel really heavy and I can barely move a muscle (feels like I'm paralysed all of a sudden?)It happened last night and again just now... It keeps making me panic. Just wondering if it's related anorexia and if anyone else has experienced it - if so... what is it?
Could be anorexia-related or could be part of a cold / virus if you've got one (fairly likely if you've just started sixth form). Sometimes colds make your legs (and other joints) ache pretty badly, as well as making you feel exhausted and getting the sniffles. If you've become more active (even just slightly) due to being at sixth form, this could also cause it as if you're underweight it doesn't take much of an activity change for it to have an effect on your body.
Not the best day.
Girlfriend broke up with me (albeit mutual and circumstancial based on cultural difference and fears of parental rejection), having to downsize my house, an ATM swallowed up my debit card so I'm broke and need to replace it, and I need a new filling :/
Girlfriend broke up with me (albeit mutual and circumstancial based on cultural difference and fears of parental rejection), having to downsize my house, an ATM swallowed up my debit card so I'm broke and need to replace it, and I need a new filling :/
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(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Riku
Not the best day.
Girlfriend broke up with me (albeit mutual and circumstancial based on cultural difference and fears of parental rejection), having to downsize my house, an ATM swallowed up my debit card so I'm broke and need to replace it, and I need a new filling :/
Girlfriend broke up with me (albeit mutual and circumstancial based on cultural difference and fears of parental rejection), having to downsize my house, an ATM swallowed up my debit card so I'm broke and need to replace it, and I need a new filling :/
Spoiler
It's said that "you've never really had a bad day, until you experience a bad day." I know what this feels like and it seems to me, you do too.
Sadly, my friend, life rarely gives us a single ball to juggle; it likes to throw one or two our way for us to fumble about with. Test our resolve, check we're working as hard as we possibly can to better ourselves. I like to think of these days less as "the worst days ever" and more like "the days where we're forced to wake up."
So many of us just coast and coast, experiencing life but not even really living it. When circumstances just hit you, strip you bare naked and shout to you, "right - show me why you're here, REALLY!" - you're placed on the spot, your mind goes into overdrive considering all the things that make you, you.
Riku, we place so much value on the superficial things. Imagine a building with foundations made out of glass but wallpaper inside of the finest gold leaf and Rembrandt first-hand painted borders. Right now, this is the life lived by many of the ED-sufferers here.
Always fretting about the paint on the walls and forgetting the walls are made of paper.
My mum was bulimic when she was younger; we ended up speaking about it. I wanted to tell her so badly but I became paralysed. She told me about her habits, I asked questions I knew the answers to, how nobody knew. I havent purged for around a week or two now and all I can think about, lying in bed, is that she thought she had to be skinny to be loved and how it was the only way she could exercise control over her life. Its so hard to resist :'(
Original post by Anonymous
My mum was bulimic when she was younger; we ended up speaking about it. I wanted to tell her so badly but I became paralysed. She told me about her habits, I asked questions I knew the answers to, how nobody knew. I havent purged for around a week or two now and all I can think about, lying in bed, is that she thought she had to be skinny to be loved and how it was the only way she could exercise control over her life. Its so hard to resist :'(
I dont think im thin enough to be believed about my habits :'( im so ashamed to think that way
Hi guys, first time posting here after a long time reading from afar.
I've struggled with an ED since last Christmas. I am 20 years old, and was always a really big child, but due to circumstance (a growth spurt) of puberty and actively changing what I ate when I was around 13/14, I lost all the puppy weight and developed into a regular sized kid. Since starting uni I guess my weight fluctuated and I noticed around Christmas that I'd gained a few pounds. I started attending the gym and radically restricting my calorie intake to try and get in shape for summer. The problem was, once I'd began, I couldn't stop.
My life has become centred around the scale. I weigh myself multiple times a day, often my whole mood rapidly alters depending on what reading the scale gives me. I know, I KNOW, it's pure madness - weight fluctuates multiple times a day, multiple times a week, but I cannot stop. I returned home from uni for summer after around three months of solid dieting and my mum was perplexed with my appearance. She was massively worried. She could tell something was up, and one night last month I spilled everything about how I was feeling. My life was being taken over by constant obsessions about weight.
I do not purge or anything, but I am still eating nowhere near the right amount. I have limited attending the gym to just three times a week (I would go every single day before...I know, it's madness). I decided I could not go on the way I was - something had to change. I went and visited my GP who referred me to a clinic which specializes in eating disorder related therapy. He also diagnosed me with depression and placed me on 20mg of fluoexetine a day (which I've been taking for about six weeks and haven't noticed make a great deal, if truth be told). I start CBT sessions next week.
I'm still obsessed with thoughts of weight/food. I get frustrated with myself if my friends are having pizza and I refuse a slice because I KNOW that it's a ridiculous mind-set to have. The problem is, I can't apply mind over matter. I have lost around three stone since Christmas and I'm frightened because if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm miserable. Eventually, the number will keep going down until I'm an absolute skeletal mess.
So, yeah - I don't know why I felt the urge to post today. Guess I'm having a lonely Sunday and wanted to share. I don't know what I want anyone to say to this, you're all so incredibly brave. I feel a mess of a person right now and I have all summer. I'll be going back to university soon and I just can't deal with spending another year like this. The constant worry, the fear of eating the wrong thing at the wrong time, the inability to deal with the cold, the pale complexion. I really want to change. It's just I'm so scared of making that first leap, you know?
I've struggled with an ED since last Christmas. I am 20 years old, and was always a really big child, but due to circumstance (a growth spurt) of puberty and actively changing what I ate when I was around 13/14, I lost all the puppy weight and developed into a regular sized kid. Since starting uni I guess my weight fluctuated and I noticed around Christmas that I'd gained a few pounds. I started attending the gym and radically restricting my calorie intake to try and get in shape for summer. The problem was, once I'd began, I couldn't stop.
My life has become centred around the scale. I weigh myself multiple times a day, often my whole mood rapidly alters depending on what reading the scale gives me. I know, I KNOW, it's pure madness - weight fluctuates multiple times a day, multiple times a week, but I cannot stop. I returned home from uni for summer after around three months of solid dieting and my mum was perplexed with my appearance. She was massively worried. She could tell something was up, and one night last month I spilled everything about how I was feeling. My life was being taken over by constant obsessions about weight.
I do not purge or anything, but I am still eating nowhere near the right amount. I have limited attending the gym to just three times a week (I would go every single day before...I know, it's madness). I decided I could not go on the way I was - something had to change. I went and visited my GP who referred me to a clinic which specializes in eating disorder related therapy. He also diagnosed me with depression and placed me on 20mg of fluoexetine a day (which I've been taking for about six weeks and haven't noticed make a great deal, if truth be told). I start CBT sessions next week.
I'm still obsessed with thoughts of weight/food. I get frustrated with myself if my friends are having pizza and I refuse a slice because I KNOW that it's a ridiculous mind-set to have. The problem is, I can't apply mind over matter. I have lost around three stone since Christmas and I'm frightened because if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm miserable. Eventually, the number will keep going down until I'm an absolute skeletal mess.
So, yeah - I don't know why I felt the urge to post today. Guess I'm having a lonely Sunday and wanted to share. I don't know what I want anyone to say to this, you're all so incredibly brave. I feel a mess of a person right now and I have all summer. I'll be going back to university soon and I just can't deal with spending another year like this. The constant worry, the fear of eating the wrong thing at the wrong time, the inability to deal with the cold, the pale complexion. I really want to change. It's just I'm so scared of making that first leap, you know?
Original post by Mackay
Hi guys, first time posting here after a long time reading from afar.
I've struggled with an ED since last Christmas. I am 20 years old, and was always a really big child, but due to circumstance (a growth spurt) of puberty and actively changing what I ate when I was around 13/14, I lost all the puppy weight and developed into a regular sized kid. Since starting uni I guess my weight fluctuated and I noticed around Christmas that I'd gained a few pounds. I started attending the gym and radically restricting my calorie intake to try and get in shape for summer. The problem was, once I'd began, I couldn't stop.
My life has become centred around the scale. I weigh myself multiple times a day, often my whole mood rapidly alters depending on what reading the scale gives me. I know, I KNOW, it's pure madness - weight fluctuates multiple times a day, multiple times a week, but I cannot stop. I returned home from uni for summer after around three months of solid dieting and my mum was perplexed with my appearance. She was massively worried. She could tell something was up, and one night last month I spilled everything about how I was feeling. My life was being taken over by constant obsessions about weight.
I do not purge or anything, but I am still eating nowhere near the right amount. I have limited attending the gym to just three times a week (I would go every single day before...I know, it's madness). I decided I could not go on the way I was - something had to change. I went and visited my GP who referred me to a clinic which specializes in eating disorder related therapy. He also diagnosed me with depression and placed me on 20mg of fluoexetine a day (which I've been taking for about six weeks and haven't noticed make a great deal, if truth be told). I start CBT sessions next week.
I'm still obsessed with thoughts of weight/food. I get frustrated with myself if my friends are having pizza and I refuse a slice because I KNOW that it's a ridiculous mind-set to have. The problem is, I can't apply mind over matter. I have lost around three stone since Christmas and I'm frightened because if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm miserable. Eventually, the number will keep going down until I'm an absolute skeletal mess.
So, yeah - I don't know why I felt the urge to post today. Guess I'm having a lonely Sunday and wanted to share. I don't know what I want anyone to say to this, you're all so incredibly brave. I feel a mess of a person right now and I have all summer. I'll be going back to university soon and I just can't deal with spending another year like this. The constant worry, the fear of eating the wrong thing at the wrong time, the inability to deal with the cold, the pale complexion. I really want to change. It's just I'm so scared of making that first leap, you know?
I've struggled with an ED since last Christmas. I am 20 years old, and was always a really big child, but due to circumstance (a growth spurt) of puberty and actively changing what I ate when I was around 13/14, I lost all the puppy weight and developed into a regular sized kid. Since starting uni I guess my weight fluctuated and I noticed around Christmas that I'd gained a few pounds. I started attending the gym and radically restricting my calorie intake to try and get in shape for summer. The problem was, once I'd began, I couldn't stop.
My life has become centred around the scale. I weigh myself multiple times a day, often my whole mood rapidly alters depending on what reading the scale gives me. I know, I KNOW, it's pure madness - weight fluctuates multiple times a day, multiple times a week, but I cannot stop. I returned home from uni for summer after around three months of solid dieting and my mum was perplexed with my appearance. She was massively worried. She could tell something was up, and one night last month I spilled everything about how I was feeling. My life was being taken over by constant obsessions about weight.
I do not purge or anything, but I am still eating nowhere near the right amount. I have limited attending the gym to just three times a week (I would go every single day before...I know, it's madness). I decided I could not go on the way I was - something had to change. I went and visited my GP who referred me to a clinic which specializes in eating disorder related therapy. He also diagnosed me with depression and placed me on 20mg of fluoexetine a day (which I've been taking for about six weeks and haven't noticed make a great deal, if truth be told). I start CBT sessions next week.
I'm still obsessed with thoughts of weight/food. I get frustrated with myself if my friends are having pizza and I refuse a slice because I KNOW that it's a ridiculous mind-set to have. The problem is, I can't apply mind over matter. I have lost around three stone since Christmas and I'm frightened because if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm miserable. Eventually, the number will keep going down until I'm an absolute skeletal mess.
So, yeah - I don't know why I felt the urge to post today. Guess I'm having a lonely Sunday and wanted to share. I don't know what I want anyone to say to this, you're all so incredibly brave. I feel a mess of a person right now and I have all summer. I'll be going back to university soon and I just can't deal with spending another year like this. The constant worry, the fear of eating the wrong thing at the wrong time, the inability to deal with the cold, the pale complexion. I really want to change. It's just I'm so scared of making that first leap, you know?
Welcome to the thread, I think I speak for the majority of people on here when I say if you have any questions or want advice, we are here for you
And the first leap is always really hard, I know when I first got help I kept retreating back into denial, I still do sometimes now to be honest. Its a long journey, one that I myself am only just really beginning, but there are people at all stages on here and we are a very supportive bunch I have faith that you can do it, take that first step, and never give up, you deserve better than an eating disorder 
