I think I'm in love... but I'm Muslim?!

Right, so, basically, I'm 16 and over the summer I took part in a 3 week programme run by the National Citizen Service (with 1/2 day breaks between each week). On it, I made lots of great friends and it was awesome but, about one of these friends, I feel... well differently... about them.

I'm not exaggerating at all when I say I literally can't stop thinking about her. I thought going back to school would put an end to it or at least lessen it, but it's just made my mind go crazy. Whether I'm in lessons or not, I still think about her and how she is (she has some problems which she's told me about and I worry about her a lot) and my mind wonders off and thinks about all the time we've spent together doing activities etc. over the past month or so.

And it's not just that, before getting to know her, I guess I was like any other guy- when I saw a woman in public or on tv etc. I subconsciously judged whether or not I found her attractive. However, since getting to know this person, I literally don't care about any other woman. Someone who I might have found attractive before is just like... meh... to me now. I can still tell if they're good looking or not but I have to consciously think about that and even then, I'm not attracted to them.

I only really started feeling this way about her from the second week of the programme but since the end of the third week when we went home and didn't see the rest of our group for 2 weeks- well those 2 weeks were really, really depressing. And it's been a while since then and it's not gotten any better.

Problem is, as you might be able to tell, I'm Muslim and having any relationship outside of marriage is unthinkable. And please don't say stuff like "forget about your religion" etc. because I do genuinely believe in God and in Islam (please keep it on topic). And to all Muslims who see this, please understand, I can't help the way I feel. I can help what I do, but not how I feel.

I kind of die inside everyday because of the way I feel and how I can't tell her. I really don't know what to do?! I don't know how she feels about me, but I guess we have grown really close- I mean everyone on the programme has, but especially me and her. Truth is, before going on the programme, I had little to no interaction with anyone of the opposite gender (I go to a boy's school) so I'm not sure whether or not she's implying anything but I think she might be.

Please, anything constructive will help. And trust me, it's not lust or infatuation- I care about her more than I care about myself. I miss her indescribably everyday I'm not with her because I don't know whether she's alright or if something's wrong. Seeing her happy makes me happy and when she's sad or something's wrong that she won't tell me about, I just feel completely useless and get even more depressed than when I don't see her.

Much love and thanks in advance. Please be nice. x

Damn. That's gotta hurt.

I've never been in love before or told a girl how I felt so I can't advise you on that part. However, what I have to say is that a girl isn't a necessity in your life. You may think that you need her but you don't. If you get depressed because you don't see her, I really think you should take a step back and re-evaluate this situation.

Forgive me for my ignorance, but are you supposed to marry someone without having a relationship with them first?

Muslims do actually acknowledge love as an emotion - which might be surprising to many on TSR. What it says with regards to it is that you should tell her and find out if she agrees, and then pursue this in marriage (when possible). And this telling/asking can be done indirectly, or directly in the presence of eg her brother. And it also says that you can't have sexual relations with her (or anyone for that matter) until you are married.

I think getting married would maybe be a bit too extreme at the moment - he barely knows the girl!

OP, you should keep in contact with her and if you think she feels the same way, then explain the problem you have, see what he says. I wouldn't advise talking to her about this in front of anyone else though (it's the sort of thing you need to keep quiet at the moment, to see how you feel.) I'm guessing she isn't Muslim?

Forgive me for my ignorance, but are you supposed to marry someone without having a relationship with them first?

Yes, Muslims tend to have arranged or in some cases, forced marriages.

Right, so, basically, I'm 16 and over the summer I took part in a 3 week programme run by the National Citizen Service (with 1/2 day breaks between each week). On it, I made lots of great friends and it was awesome but, about one of these friends, I feel... well differently... about them.

I'm not exaggerating at all when I say I literally can't stop thinking about her. I thought going back to school would put an end to it or at least lessen it, but it's just made my mind go crazy. Whether I'm in lessons or not, I still think about her and how she is (she has some problems which she's told me about and I worry about her a lot) and my mind wonders off and thinks about all the time we've spent together doing activities etc. over the past month or so.

And it's not just that, before getting to know her, I guess I was like any other guy- when I saw a woman in public or on tv etc. I subconsciously judged whether or not I found her attractive. However, since getting to know this person, I literally don't care about any other woman. Someone who I might have found attractive before is just like... meh... to me now. I can still tell if they're good looking or not but I have to consciously think about that and even then, I'm not attracted to them.

I only really started feeling this way about her from the second week of the programme but since the end of the third week when we went home and didn't see the rest of our group for 2 weeks- well those 2 weeks were really, really depressing. And it's been a while since then and it's not gotten any better.

Problem is, as you might be able to tell, I'm Muslim and having any relationship outside of marriage is unthinkable. And please don't say stuff like "forget about your religion" etc. because I do genuinely believe in God and in Islam (please keep it on topic). And to all Muslims who see this, please understand, I can't help the way I feel. I can help what I do, but not how I feel.

I kind of die inside everyday because of the way I feel and how I can't tell her. I really don't know what to do?! I don't know how she feels about me, but I guess we have grown really close- I mean everyone on the programme has, but especially me and her. Truth is, before going on the programme, I had little to no interaction with anyone of the opposite gender (I go to a boy's school) so I'm not sure whether or not she's implying anything but I think she might be.

Please, anything constructive will help. And trust me, it's not lust or infatuation- I care about her more than I care about myself. I miss her indescribably everyday I'm not with her because I don't know whether she's alright or if something's wrong. Seeing her happy makes me happy and when she's sad or something's wrong that she won't tell me about, I just feel completely useless and get even more depressed than when I don't see her.

Much love and thanks in advance. Please be nice. x

Actually no. Nearly every woman in my family didnt have an arranged or forced marriage, including my mother. You can get to know the person but you cant be alone together and cant be intimate before marriage

It doesnt matter whether you're practicing or not. All muslims have to adhere by Allah's rules. Are you muslim, because you seem to not know alot about how muslim marriages/relationships work