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long distance relationships

So as part of course for uni i'm going to america from august to may. I have been with my boyfriend now for about 10 months, but it only really got serious a couple months ago. Basically i have to go to america, not just because its part of the course but because its something i always wanted to do, and i dont know how my relationship with my boyfriend is gona work. I want to be with him, even whilst i'm away and ive thought about all the possibilities of how it could work.

Just wondering what other peoples experiences of long distance relationships have been? i do realise i'm not going for another good few months but its starting to stress me out slightly and everytime it kinda comes up i just dont know what to say about it. Any advice is welcome....

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

long-distance relationships eventually fail

end of story

i wont bother reading the rest of your post

Reply 2

mistress mayhem

my long distance relationship failed.
but my opinion of it is that they will work so long as both people want it to work. Distance isnt the issue - its the determination to keep it going which decides whether a relationship works or not. Good luck xx

Reply 3

Tarts_n_Vicars

I'm going to America too for a year in August as part of my course and I was talking to some friends about it who had been before. All of them said whoever started out with a bf or gf at the beginning spent a lot of time kinda pining for them at first and then either cheating or not going out and having fun with everyone else.

If you think he's the one there's no need to break up with him just because, but at the same time I wouldn't want to go leaving a boyfriend behind. Everyone I've spoken to has said it was one of the best years of their life and with all the new experiences I'd hate to have someone to feel guilty about back home.

Reply 4

helloworld

i have a long distance realtionship but i spose like nealry a year apart is way long just finish it or sa stay with me and see what happens when u get back- go with the flow kinda thing

Reply 5

gideon2000uk

Long term, they almost always fail. Mine did. But if you two are both serious enough - you can manage a long seperation. It's pretty intense for you both though!

Reply 6

izzles

Anonymous

long-distance relationships eventually fail

end of story

I disagree. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. More or less all that time we've been apart (but before we were going out, we were best friends). He's living across a whole ocean from me, with a 4-hr time difference and with a 7-hr flight difference. I wont deny its hard, because it is one of the hardest decisions you have to make. But honestly, if you and your boyfriend are determined to make it work, it will. Trust me! The key to it is communication and absolute trust.

Its hard because you arent together, but you have to learn to trust him and everything he tells you. Talk to each other about your days, what you do, because that way you keep up with his life and you with his. It can work, but you gotta make it work! :smile:

Besides you said August to May.. thats not too bad is it?

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

They can work! I am in the forces and have been away for 12 of the last 18 months and my gf and I are going strong. If you both really want it then it will last. If it's not brilliant now then don't bother pursueing and finish it and have yourself some fun.

Reply 8

Monkey_Maiden

I was in a long distance relationship when I went to uni and left my bf back home, it worked for a couple of months but then failed. tbh though I think it was more due to the fact that he had a full time job and I had depression and relied on him way too much.
You really need to be determined but I know a few people at my uni who have long distance relationships which have worked for years :smile:

If you really care for each other try.

Reply 9

izzles

whoops almost posted the same thing twice! mi scusi! :wink:

Reply 10

hapa_girl

endisforever

LONG RELATIONSHIPS DO WORK, and I stand by that.

I know plenty of people who have been through and come out of LDR's succesfully.

I have been in one for the past 3 years (we were together for about 1 and a half years prior to the separation)

I admit, the past 3 years apart have been hard, especially the first year - it was a KILLER. And you come across MANY obstacles. But we've done FINE. Neither of us have cheated, and we're both still so head over heels about each other, to the surprise and some annoyance of our friends & family (Some were just annoyed that their bets were wrong)

We will be together again later this year, after 3 years of separation and having only had 2 vists comprising of 10 days in between (we live very far apart at the moment)

Long Distance relationships that FAIL are due to a lack of commitment from either or both of the parties. Same as any other relationship.

LDR's are the same as ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP but everything is intensified. Communication is MORE important, seeing each other is MORE important, physical touch is MORE important. As long as you know how to get round that, its FINE.

It's going to test the both of you.

And if you were not meant to be, it will not work. Not because LDR's don't work, but because TOGETHER you don't work. Simple.

Sarah

Reply 11

hapa_girl

Anonymous

long-distance relationships eventually fail

end of story

i wont bother reading the rest of your post

i disagree

Reply 12

the_fridge

endisforever

Just wondering what other peoples experiences of long distance relationships have been? i do realise i'm not going for another good few months but its starting to stress me out slightly and everytime it kinda comes up i just dont know what to say about it. Any advice is welcome....

hm I started dating my boyfirend in July 2005 and by the end of August I had to go to Japan for one year... I went back home for Christmas so I spent 3weeks with him but that's about it... now it's almost May 2006 and we are still together even though we haven't seen each other for the longest time...

the biggest difficulty is not to forget that you love him... after several months (weeks, days???) it's really easy to "forget" about your real feelings and get involved with somebody else...it depends on how much you are commited to your relationship...if you want to make it last than it's really important to remind yourself that he's back home waiting for you and that you shouldn't make some stupid mistakes...

and as for him...I don't know... but I think that the major issue with guys and long distance relationships is mostly the abstinence from sex... some gyus are ok with not having sex for a long time and some are not.... you have to talk to him...

but personally, I believe that a crutial aspect of long distance relationships is to stay in touch... send him a message every day, or an e-mail, or call him or anything... that will keep your relation alive... :heart:

Reply 13

so_this_is_sam

some work, some dont. you have to make sure its what you both want if you decide to stay together but sometimes its better to break up because one of u might end up meeting someone else..i mean, you cant stop going out. and you'll be in a new country with new guys and the longer you go without seeing your boyf the more likely you'll feel less attached and then u might end up cheating. i reckon, break up...

Reply 14

Emmalina

Mine just broke up for the time he's away. Cant you do that?

Reply 15

mrbob

tried it n i actually thought it wud work but guess wat...it didnt hence therefore in conclusion long distance relationships r a load of my bum

Reply 16

hapa_girl

mrbob

tried it n i actually thought it wud work but guess wat...it didnt hence therefore in conclusion long distance relationships r a load of my bum

OR

the relationship between you and whoever was a load of your bum :smile:

Reply 17

mrbob

ahaha fair enuf gota say it was a load of my bum, i guess long distance can work but rarely...

Reply 18

THE PROPHETOR!

Its all rubbish! If you want to stay with that person, work for it! People our age assume that relationships are perfect, they are not!

People who have spent 40, 50 years with each other will tell you that its the hardest thing they have ever done.

I have a long distance relationship and yes times get hard, damn hard! I miss her so much sometimes that I want to drop out of Uni! We miss each other so much that we have arguments that bring us close to breaking up, sometimes she hates me and sometimes the feeling is mutual.

But I love her. How I feel about her is overwhelming. And i would fight for her through any argument. I miss the girl all the time, when I wake up, when i sleep. But shes worth it! And if your partner is worth it - stop being a fool about it and fight for them.

If you want it, distance is a small issue.

Good Luck

Jason

Reply 19

endisforever

cool thanx guys, have renewed faith, alot of people are being pessimistic about it and making me worried, will definately talk to my boyfriend asap.