Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Original post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
YAY!! That's actually made my week. And given me the kick up the ass i need to go to the SYEDA meetings when they start up again. Even if seeing one of the girls at the womcom meeting last week was a massive trigger, because everything is getting bad again. And I do not have time in labs this year to be passing out...
Original post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
So much win
Hope you're having fun at uni, Cinnie
xOriginal post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
CINNIE! You are an awesome, spectacular and sensational being. Keep it that way.
(Hope that didn't sound too militant)
Live your life how you want to live it sweetie. You deserve happy times
Thank you 1st anon and riku
Who are you 'cause you are fab x
Original post by Anonymous
CINNIE! You are an awesome, spectacular and sensational being. Keep it that way.
(Hope that didn't sound too militant)
Live your life how you want to live it sweetie. You deserve happy times
(Hope that didn't sound too militant)
Live your life how you want to live it sweetie. You deserve happy times
Who are you 'cause you are fab x
Well into the second week of the eating plan and I woke up last night COVERED head to toe in sweat. I googled it and read about hypermetabolism, but how long does it last? Does it usually instigate this quick?
Original post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
The feeling is very, very mutual and I beam with pride that I'm your friend. The feelings extend to every one of you - we're the support network all those psychotherapists harp on about, this mythical "help group" you thought you never had. When people say they're alone, they're only alone because they've made themselves so; that's not a dig, it's merely the truth. Accepting that we've done awful things to ourselves, accepting the blame, then acting upon it to make ourselves better - it's a long, hurtful, arduous journey, but you know what?
Some people grow up once. This is our second time. It's re-entering the world as adults again. Eating Disorders are a regressive beast; we become self-entitled, self-absorbed children again, who need to get their own way no matter what. Accepting the world will turn with or without you, that's the hardest part. But knowing you're not in the lives of the people around you, that you're not there to help them smile, to pick them up, to cheer them on - that's a far greater evil.
We're family now, and we always will be. We grew up once with our families, and once more with one another - here on an internet forum.
Original post by Mackay
Well into the second week of the eating plan and I woke up last night COVERED head to toe in sweat. I googled it and read about hypermetabolism, but how long does it last? Does it usually instigate this quick?
For me, the absolute worst of the drug-like side effects of refeeding actually happened almost a month into it, when I got blinding headaches, alternated between constipation and diarrheoa, and got a couple of painful piles to boot. I would have nightmares when I slept, and insomnia the rest of the time. In total it was almost five or six weeks before things suddenly started to get a bunch better - but I've heard some people adjust as quickly as a few weeks. It really depends on how damaged your metabolic rate is, how askew your chemical balance has become.
Fight through it - it will be MUCH worse if you give up, relapse, then have to try again. You might be lucky and experience these effects for maybe even a few more days and nothing else. But my experience was that it might occur for a good few more weeks, but that's just me.
We're here for you buddy.
Ah, thanks Toto. I feel horrendously bloated all the time but I'm still persevering. It's quite remarkable when you read it in black and white and realise how much you have put your body through. I'm determined, as is my family, not to endanger it again.
Original post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Cinnie you absolute star; this is amazing to hear!
And Mackay I totally feel for you with the feeling bloated thing...at the moment getting through it by treating myself kindly, wearing nice clothes a size up so they're more comfortable and just gritting my teeth knowing it will pass.
Keep it up!
xHey guys, do you think it's going to be ever possible for me to regard going to the gym as a good thing again? I don't know atm, it's always tainted by 'but of course you'd say you love exercise, you have an ED'. Likewise when faced with something I genuinely don't want to eat at the time
Original post by Riku
Hey guys, do you think it's going to be ever possible for me to regard going to the gym as a good thing again? I don't know atm, it's always tainted by 'but of course you'd say you love exercise, you have an ED'. Likewise when faced with something I genuinely don't want to eat at the time
Riku, your neuroses appear to grow by the day. Have you considered Olanzapine or a similar anti-psychotic drug? I have found this to be far, far more effective in combatting the erratic, almost relentless thoughts of unevenness, irregularity and inability to rest mentally than, say, anti-depressive medication. You might consider talking to your therapist/GP about this as a possibility.
You are still trying to seek out this mystical "normal" which does not exist. You only have yourself as a centrepoint, a perspective, and you're starting to do that thing you do once more - where you over-compare and drive your head into a frenzy.
There is no such thing as normal. As soon as you accept this, you start to forget what you "should be" and just "be".
Sorry.. But I've been at uni a month now and things are going downhill so quickly. The ED behaviours and thoughts are back with a vengeance, as well as the depression and insomnia. I've been referred to ED services, but the waiting list is months long and I am getting the message that because I'm not emaciated, they won't speed it up, which is just feeding the anorexic/self destruct thoughts. My GP has been so lovely but really can't do much but physical monitoring and potentially start me on antidepressants (which we are looking into, but I've tried the main ones and have some cardiac instability at the moment which limits the options). I don't know... I know I need to adopt more healthy eating habits, but I just can't bring myself to do it when I don't have the psychological support that I have had for 4 years, and the only way I'll get seen by services any time soon, ironically, is by losing a lot of weight. Argh.
Original post by Gnome :)
Sorry.. But I've been at uni a month now and things are going downhill so quickly. The ED behaviours and thoughts are back with a vengeance, as well as the depression and insomnia. I've been referred to ED services, but the waiting list is months long and I am getting the message that because I'm not emaciated, they won't speed it up, which is just feeding the anorexic/self destruct thoughts. My GP has been so lovely but really can't do much but physical monitoring and potentially start me on antidepressants (which we are looking into, but I've tried the main ones and have some cardiac instability at the moment which limits the options). I don't know... I know I need to adopt more healthy eating habits, but I just can't bring myself to do it when I don't have the psychological support that I have had for 4 years, and the only way I'll get seen by services any time soon, ironically, is by losing a lot of weight. Argh.
Allow me to intervene here with some very harsh, but very, VERY true advice.
I've been where you are, and you're using the "waiting period" thing as an excuse. Having been through to the other side of the process, I used that "period of helplessness" in a number of ways. At first I wanted to indulge my bad habits because it'd spite the people who "refused to help me". Then I decided to indulge my bad habits because "I suppose it must be because I'm not ill enough". Then as the ball started rolling, I started actually enjoying the feeling of being in limbo, because that's effectively what anorexia and bulimia are; a state of perpetual purgatory.
Once again I refer to the "magical help" thing. There's no such magical spell that can help you like that. Even when I spoke to Scotland's number one psychological therapist, I was still in the mindset of "someone has to heal me! Who can heal me?" - and as such, she couldn't - and didn't - help at all. I wasn't in the mindset for it. Psychiatrists are merely train drivers, and they can't do a ruddy thing for you whilst you bemoan your train that's sitting somewhere off-rail. "Drive my train! Drive it forward!" you yell, but she/he can only shrug and say "Er, well, I can do that, if you only put the train on the right track."
And if you're still in the mentality that you're lost in space, you're stuck off-rail and in this state of helplessness, you will never find ANY help.
Also, I know first-hand that this state of "waiting for help" - you've not given the whole picture. "Waiting" is also "not doing". And "Not Doing" is the catalyst for "isolation". Tell me if I'm wrong here, but I bet you that you've been feeling pretty down in the dumps that nobody's helping you outright and as such you're becoming more introverted, right? This is what happened to me and a lot of the people I set up therapy sessions for. As things go less and less in your favour, you start to clam up more and more. See people less and less. Start to lose faith in other people. Start to try to self-medicate. And before you know it, you're shunning all the ACTUAL help from the people around you because they're not "actual" psychiatrists. Not the "proper" people. Great advice, perspective and friendship get disregarded as you put the mental health specialists up on a pedestal, and when they don't help you right away, when you don't get the perfect cure when you eventually see them, you suddenly feel gored. "Why are you not curing me?! That's your job!!"
The truth is they won't cure you. They can't. It's impossible. They give you a mentality, a frame of mind - the TOOLS - for you to cure yourself. But these mental tools are no different to all the ones you've learned from your parents, from instinct, your teachers etc - they're just various ways to help you realise how you are hurting yourself and how to understand that you're going to need to stop doing what you're doing, because every step you're taking is deeper and deeper into quicksand. The more you defy that, the more you sink, the more you trudge deeper, the more you become stubborn to the genuine, real help all around you, until you cover yourself in a veil of darkness and blot out all help entirely.
There is no hidden cure, and when you see specialists, they will not cure you. Your train is off the tracks and you're frustrated it's going nowhere. Back on the rails, and only you can get it there - and let the collective help of everyone you reach out to help propel you forwards.
Original post by TotoMimo
Riku, your neuroses appear to grow by the day. Have you considered Olanzapine or a similar anti-psychotic drug? I have found this to be far, far more effective in combatting the erratic, almost relentless thoughts of unevenness, irregularity and inability to rest mentally than, say, anti-depressive medication. You might consider talking to your therapist/GP about this as a possibility.
You are still trying to seek out this mystical "normal" which does not exist. You only have yourself as a centrepoint, a perspective, and you're starting to do that thing you do once more - where you over-compare and drive your head into a frenzy.
There is no such thing as normal. As soon as you accept this, you start to forget what you "should be" and just "be".
You are still trying to seek out this mystical "normal" which does not exist. You only have yourself as a centrepoint, a perspective, and you're starting to do that thing you do once more - where you over-compare and drive your head into a frenzy.
There is no such thing as normal. As soon as you accept this, you start to forget what you "should be" and just "be".
Thanks Toto. This is why I had to stop spending too much time on here, because I was driving myself crazy with the belief everything I did beyond getting out of bed tied back to me having an ED/me being ill, and ****'s sake it's annoying. I freaked out in front of Dad about having some crumble before-which I actually wanted, wasn't even an ED thing, I just wanted to be able to say No to X thing and then not have the matter pushed any further in theory. As it happened I had it (since I wanted it) and it was gorgeous :P but I don't want to be compelled to eat/do stuff all the time just to prove a point. Apparently that concerns them
In what other ways would you say they're growing though? I'm curious
Original post by Riku
Thanks Toto. This is why I had to stop spending too much time on here, because I was driving myself crazy with the belief everything I did beyond getting out of bed tied back to me having an ED/me being ill, and ****'s sake it's annoying. I freaked out in front of Dad about having some crumble before-which I actually wanted, wasn't even an ED thing, I just wanted to be able to say No to X thing and then not have the matter pushed any further in theory. As it happened I had it (since I wanted it) and it was gorgeous :P but I don't want to be compelled to eat/do stuff all the time just to prove a point. Apparently that concerns them
In what other ways would you say they're growing though? I'm curious
In what other ways would you say they're growing though? I'm curious
The very fact you ask this is a testament to it. "How am I going wrong?! And why? And to what extent?" - stop asking the questions, and the rest will follow.
Original post by TotoMimo
The very fact you ask this is a testament to it. "How am I going wrong?! And why? And to what extent?" - stop asking the questions, and the rest will follow.
But I must be going wrong, I set up a fitness blog who hate me because I don't do anything, the whole of TSR thinks I have issues or am a very persistent troll including some of the mods, and I'm stubbornly go ahead and do it despite recovering from an ED. I know I enjoy it but do I enjoy it or do I just say that? Is it all just a ruse?
I'm pretty sure I enjoy it
Apologies if I'm interrupting this thread. It's just that I have a couple of questions.
FYI, this is actually for another thread elsewhere on TSR. Would you mind if I just simply copied & pasted your considered response(s)? I would just post it along the lines of "If anyone reading this feels they may currently have or are developing an eating disorder, you may wish to contact......blah, blah, etc etc...."
I promised I wouldn't nag any more on that thread, but really want to post one more.
1.
If someone was feeling vulnerable and felt they might possibly be developing an eating disorder, who could they call for advice, support and an informal chat anonymously?
2.
What are the typical emotional and psychological symptoms experienced during the early stages of an eating disorder?
FYI, this is actually for another thread elsewhere on TSR. Would you mind if I just simply copied & pasted your considered response(s)? I would just post it along the lines of "If anyone reading this feels they may currently have or are developing an eating disorder, you may wish to contact......blah, blah, etc etc...."
I promised I wouldn't nag any more on that thread, but really want to post one more.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
I told somebody for the first time last night. Not really sure how to feel. They've been so supportive, said they'll always be there when I need them, it's so lovely. Just not sure what to say now :L Cinnie, I guess reading how well you'd settled in to university and felt recovered hugely inspired me. Thank you so much. Xx
Original post by los lobos marinos
Apologies if I'm interrupting this thread. It's just that I have a couple of questions.
FYI, this is actually for another thread elsewhere on TSR. Would you mind if I just simply copied & pasted your considered response(s)? I would just post it along the lines of "If anyone reading this feels they may currently have or are developing an eating disorder, you may wish to contact......blah, blah, etc etc...."
I promised I wouldn't nag any more on that thread, but really want to post one more.
1.
If someone was feeling vulnerable and felt they might possibly be developing an eating disorder, who could they call for advice, support and an informal chat anonymously?
2.
What are the typical emotional and psychological symptoms experienced during the early stages of an eating disorder?
FYI, this is actually for another thread elsewhere on TSR. Would you mind if I just simply copied & pasted your considered response(s)? I would just post it along the lines of "If anyone reading this feels they may currently have or are developing an eating disorder, you may wish to contact......blah, blah, etc etc...."
I promised I wouldn't nag any more on that thread, but really want to post one more.
b-eat is the most well known one or the gp or they can come over here and talk to us
--
Anyway, long time no post, how is everyone getting on?
Original post by Cinnie
Hey lovelies. Hope you're ok.
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
Just a quick update. Settled into uni now and I can finally say I feel recovered. Properly recovered. It feels amazing - I never actually thought it would happen but something has changed and I feel like a different person. I will have my moments, especially as it's a co morbid disorder, but on the whole I am stronger than ever. I don't restrict or binge, or use food in any way to cope with things... And it doesn't occupy even 1% of my thoughts these days. I couldn't care less about loosing weight now and I just want to live my life every day.
Thank you toto, Mel, snow and all the others that I've gotten to know and admire over the past 2 and a half years. You are all fab xxxx
This is amazing news! So happy and proud of you and yaaaaaay! x
