I would love to be able to feel more beautiful or to be able to just accept the way I look. I hate my low self-confidence and it has plagued me for years.
I've had some people tell me i'm pretty/good-looking etc. but I just find it hard to believe. I have a big nose, crooked teeth, slight lisp, and I have a problem which makes me produce too much saliva, which can create issues when I speak.
I have a boyfriend, and he is aware that I am like this. He can give nice compliments sometimes but I think he doesn't like certain stuff about me, such as my hair colour and my general style and my make-up. He makes comments about them in a jokey way, but I think he must say them for a reason. He never says that sort of stuff anymore like wow, you're beautiful, you look gorgeous, etc.
I am rubbish at applying make-up too and he tries to give me tips and stuff to improve. When I go on facebook I see girls with 40-50 likes on their pictures and tons of comments about how beautiful they are. I believe that if I were really that beautiful, people would react the same to me. My boyfriend had feelings for his friend for years before me, and he had said (before we were together) that she looks like a supermodel. Everyone says how good-looking she is, and when I look at her, I see his 'ideal' sort of look.
I try to make an effort with clothes and make-up, and to keep in shape, but I feel like I'm not enough for him. I know I must sound ridiculous, but I would really appreciate any advice