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Mental Health Support Society Mk X
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Feeling really useless. I tried playing my bass yesterday and got so frustrated that I couldn't get a certain part of a song right, I think I might actually sell it because I'm crap, I've hardly progressed at all in the several years I've been playing.
So there's that, then there's the fact I haven't got a job. I finished my masters in August, it's now mid-October and I've applied for exactly zero jobs. I'm pretty sure no one would hire me even if I applied, I mean who's going to hire some loser with a bunch of self-harm marks and who hears voices? I'm overweight, I'm ugly and my concentration level and social skills are appalling. But my wife keeps complaining about money, definitely gonna have to go into our savings this year. I want to get a job but I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection but also of acceptance. How's it gonna look if I do get a job and can't handle it? I mean I couldn't even handle volunteering, that was meant to be the first step and I quit after just a few times. I'm such a pathetic loser.
So there's that, then there's the fact I haven't got a job. I finished my masters in August, it's now mid-October and I've applied for exactly zero jobs. I'm pretty sure no one would hire me even if I applied, I mean who's going to hire some loser with a bunch of self-harm marks and who hears voices? I'm overweight, I'm ugly and my concentration level and social skills are appalling. But my wife keeps complaining about money, definitely gonna have to go into our savings this year. I want to get a job but I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection but also of acceptance. How's it gonna look if I do get a job and can't handle it? I mean I couldn't even handle volunteering, that was meant to be the first step and I quit after just a few times. I'm such a pathetic loser.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys,
have any of you ever had a home visit from a member of your mental health team?
I received a letter from mines and it seemed weird as I've been going to them in the past (albeit my last meeting went terribly, I sobbed uncontrollably). Obviously phoning them would help but anxiety and other stuff makes me put it off :/
best.
have any of you ever had a home visit from a member of your mental health team?
I received a letter from mines and it seemed weird as I've been going to them in the past (albeit my last meeting went terribly, I sobbed uncontrollably). Obviously phoning them would help but anxiety and other stuff makes me put it off :/
best.
I have.
It was nothing to worry about, I think they just wanted to see me in a different enviroment because I get really really anxious about appointments. 
I have one tomorrow actually. Hope this helps! 
Original post by Sabertooth
Feeling really useless. I tried playing my bass yesterday and got so frustrated that I couldn't get a certain part of a song right, I think I might actually sell it because I'm crap, I've hardly progressed at all in the several years I've been playing.
So there's that, then there's the fact I haven't got a job. I finished my masters in August, it's now mid-October and I've applied for exactly zero jobs. I'm pretty sure no one would hire me even if I applied, I mean who's going to hire some loser with a bunch of self-harm marks and who hears voices? I'm overweight, I'm ugly and my concentration level and social skills are appalling. But my wife keeps complaining about money, definitely gonna have to go into our savings this year. I want to get a job but I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection but also of acceptance. How's it gonna look if I do get a job and can't handle it? I mean I couldn't even handle volunteering, that was meant to be the first step and I quit after just a few times. I'm such a pathetic loser.
So there's that, then there's the fact I haven't got a job. I finished my masters in August, it's now mid-October and I've applied for exactly zero jobs. I'm pretty sure no one would hire me even if I applied, I mean who's going to hire some loser with a bunch of self-harm marks and who hears voices? I'm overweight, I'm ugly and my concentration level and social skills are appalling. But my wife keeps complaining about money, definitely gonna have to go into our savings this year. I want to get a job but I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection but also of acceptance. How's it gonna look if I do get a job and can't handle it? I mean I couldn't even handle volunteering, that was meant to be the first step and I quit after just a few times. I'm such a pathetic loser.
When you add all of that up, and look at that objectively as an employer, you could be their ideal man. Despite everything going on inside your head you kept battling for several years and got your degree. Despite everything going on inside your head you kept fighting, and through sheer bloody-mindedness, strength of character, a yearning to succeed, you created a method that worked and enabled you to get that treasured masters. Of course it ain't perfect dude, but nobody in life has it all nailed down. But that what makes it all so great. You can keep working on those areas that require improvement, that allow you to manage better and keep growing as a person, continually learning.
What was your degree and master in btw?
Can I PM you about this subject pls? Edit: I meant PM about the post topic, not the academic subject
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by tasha96
I have. It was nothing to worry about, I think they just wanted to see me in a different enviroment because I get really really anxious about appointments. I have one tomorrow actually. Hope this helps!
It was nothing to worry about, I think they just wanted to see me in a different enviroment because I get really really anxious about appointments. I have one tomorrow actually. Hope this helps! Original post by Sabertooth
Yeah sometimes they like to do home visits, it might have been because of your last appointment going badly, nothing to worry about though.
Thank you both for your quick responses.
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you both for your quick responses.
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
I don't think it would be a problem unless you were deemed an imminent danger to yourself. I was in my EIS for three years and continuously refused to work with the home treatment team, or to have home visits from my CPN. My psychiatrist clearly thought I was weird but he never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do
Original post by los lobos marinos
Saber, you have an abundance of skills that employers consider highly valuable. Much of that is evidenced from your academic progression as an undergraduate and then when you got your masters. From your posts on TSR I can see how clearly you communicate and pass your knowledge on to others so that they too can learn - again valuable commodities. There will also a be another spectrum of transferable skills you have gained from the relationship you have built with your wife. I'm sure that you also possess many other fine qualities too.
When you add all of that up, and look at that objectively as an employer, you could be their ideal man. Despite everything going on inside your head you kept battling for several years and got your degree. Despite everything going on inside your head you kept fighting, and through sheer bloody-mindedness, strength of character, a yearning to succeed, you created a method that worked and enabled you to get that treasured masters. Of course it ain't perfect dude, but nobody in life has it all nailed down. But that what makes it all so great. You can keep working on those areas that require improvement, that allow you to manage better and keep growing as a person, continually learning.
What was your degree and master in btw?
Can I PM you about this subject pls? Edit: I meant PM about the post topic, not the academic subject
When you add all of that up, and look at that objectively as an employer, you could be their ideal man. Despite everything going on inside your head you kept battling for several years and got your degree. Despite everything going on inside your head you kept fighting, and through sheer bloody-mindedness, strength of character, a yearning to succeed, you created a method that worked and enabled you to get that treasured masters. Of course it ain't perfect dude, but nobody in life has it all nailed down. But that what makes it all so great. You can keep working on those areas that require improvement, that allow you to manage better and keep growing as a person, continually learning.
What was your degree and master in btw?
Can I PM you about this subject pls? Edit: I meant PM about the post topic, not the academic subject
I don't remember the last time anyone described me in that way. You've actually made me feel really positive and want to apply for jobs. If someone else can think that about me, maybe an employer might feel the same. Thanks a lot. Of course you can PM me.
Original post by Kindred
I can see that it would be. I for one love it. It's made mornings easier by far. I'm not a great fan of that sort of lighting either most of the time, it's kinda dim and depressing but it wakes me up enough that i can whack open the curtain to let more light in so it's all good :P
lol that's handy
lol that's handy
Lol, good that it helps. I was kinda tempted to get a special SAD light but the prices put me off
. Although since then I've found that missing my meds is a significant contributor to me feeling down.Yeah it was, it was a work light underneath the shelves above the desk and I'd been really tempted to replace the tube myself
luckily they replaced it, the fixture makes a buzzing noise when switched on and there was no point in installing a new tube. However they didn't replace my bathroom light while they were there even though I'd informed there of it 
, it has been flickering for 3 weeks although it has only really got worse in the last week. That means all three lights in my room have been replaced in 2 weeks (the room light gave up one morning as well 
).Original post by ParadoxSocks
Can't even watching cooking programs without feeling odd - watching somebody cutting into a joint of raw pork has made me feel all triggery and gross.
That's a bit of a shame, I don't like looking at raw meat either, and I eat meat. Hope you are feeling ok otherwise! Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
I don't think it would be a problem unless you were deemed an imminent danger to yourself. I was in my EIS for three years and continuously refused to work with the home treatment team, or to have home visits from my CPN. My psychiatrist clearly thought I was weird but he never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do
EIS = Early intervention service
CPN = Community psychiatric nurse?
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you both for your quick responses.
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
No, I doubt they'd be annoyed. You have the right to refuse.
I promise you though, it's not as bad as it feels right now (not trying to make you do it btw.
) I was terrified at first, but once we got chatting I found I was a lot more relaxed and open with them than if I had gone in to see them. 
Thank you!
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you both for your quick responses.
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
@Tasha96: hope your meeting goes well!
I don't think they'll get annoyed but I'd give it a try (having them come over). It's nice to be able to drink tea while talking to them.
(although if you can, try and arrange to meet in a mcdonald's then you can drink milkshake while talking that's good too! 
)Original post by Anonymous
Surprisingly the idea of them both coming over is making me **** scared. If I turned it down, do you think they'd get annoyed (I'd hate it if that gave off the "I'm too good for them" impression)?
Original post by Sabertooth
I don't think they'll get annoyed but I'd give it a try (having them come over). It's nice to be able to drink tea while talking to them. (although if you can, try and arrange to meet in a mcdonald's then you can drink milkshake while talking that's good too! )
(although if you can, try and arrange to meet in a mcdonald's then you can drink milkshake while talking that's good too! )
Cant stop crying 
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I have that horrible sinking feeling. Been free from depression for over a year and am worried that this is all starting to begin again. Had moments over the past few days where I have felt so horrible, cycling past car and wondering what it would be like if I just went to the side a bit and in front of the car. I am in my final year of university now and I don't want this to hinder my progress but keep getting that feeling inside like I am about to burst from the outside in. Currently lying on the floor trying to calm down.
Original post by PonchoKid
What's up?
Original post by tasha96
What's up?
What's up?
Uni stress, job stress... Blahhh
Posted from TSR Mobile
anonymous
I have that horrible sinking feeling. Been free from depression for over a year and am worried that this is all starting to begin again. Had moments over the past few days where I have felt so horrible, cycling past car and wondering what it would be like if I just went to the side a bit and in front of the car. I am in my final year of university now and I don't want this to hinder my progress but keep getting that feeling inside like I am about to burst from the outside in. Currently lying on the floor trying to calm down.
Are you seeing a doctor or anything? I'd say why not go have a chat with the counseling service at your university, sometimes that can be helpful if these symptoms start to resurface. However, if you were on medication before maybe it might be an idea to go back onto that medication?
Original post by Sabertooth
Feeling really useless. I tried playing my bass yesterday and got so frustrated that I couldn't get a certain part of a song right, I think I might actually sell it because I'm crap, I've hardly progressed at all in the several years I've been playing.
So there's that, then there's the fact I haven't got a job. I finished my masters in August, it's now mid-October and I've applied for exactly zero jobs. I'm pretty sure no one would hire me even if I applied, I mean who's going to hire some loser with a bunch of self-harm marks and who hears voices? I'm overweight, I'm ugly and my concentration level and social skills are appalling. But my wife keeps complaining about money, definitely gonna have to go into our savings this year. I want to get a job but I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection but also of acceptance. How's it gonna look if I do get a job and can't handle it? I mean I couldn't even handle volunteering, that was meant to be the first step and I quit after just a few times. I'm such a pathetic loser.
So there's that, then there's the fact I haven't got a job. I finished my masters in August, it's now mid-October and I've applied for exactly zero jobs. I'm pretty sure no one would hire me even if I applied, I mean who's going to hire some loser with a bunch of self-harm marks and who hears voices? I'm overweight, I'm ugly and my concentration level and social skills are appalling. But my wife keeps complaining about money, definitely gonna have to go into our savings this year. I want to get a job but I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection but also of acceptance. How's it gonna look if I do get a job and can't handle it? I mean I couldn't even handle volunteering, that was meant to be the first step and I quit after just a few times. I'm such a pathetic loser.
Don't be too hard on yourself, I graduated in July, and not only don't have a job, I haven't even had an interview. I only started applying for jobs in the last month or so. You should upload your CV to a job search site, and let agencies call you - I have done this and it is much easier having people contact you saying you might be suitable for this job. Take it one step at a time - I have the same fears as you do, however I know I need a job, so I am trying to push myself, and hope I manage. I have faith in you to manage if you do get a job/
Also, I am about 4/5 pounds off becoming overweight due to Quetiapine
(P.s. Sorry - I know I have actually moaned more than posted helpful stuff to you!)
Edit: I agree with los lobos marinos as well, he expressed things much better than I did!
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Sabertooth
Are you seeing a doctor or anything? I'd say why not go have a chat with the counseling service at your university, sometimes that can be helpful if these symptoms start to resurface. However, if you were on medication before maybe it might be an idea to go back onto that medication?
Haven't been to see my doctor in over a year and don't really want to go back, don't want to worry anyone. I had a bad experience with the counselling service at uni last time, got this guy who just scared me and asked nasty questions and I just cried through the whole thing so I am scared to go back now and also they have a very long waiting list. I was on Mirtazipine last time (started on Citalopram but it affected me badly) but really really don't want to go back on it what with the weight gain and the drugged mornings.
Not sure what to do with myself really.
rmhumphries
Don't be too hard on yourself, I graduated in July, and not only don't have a job, I haven't even had an interview. I only started applying for jobs in the last month or so. You should upload your CV to a job search site, and let agencies call you - I have done this and it is much easier having people contact you saying you might be suitable for this job. Take it one step at a time - I have the same fears as you do, however I know I need a job, so I am trying to push myself, and hope I manage.
Also, I am about 4/5 pounds off becoming overweight due to Quetiapine
(P.s. Sorry - I know I have actually moaned more than posted helpful stuff to you!)
Also, I am about 4/5 pounds off becoming overweight due to Quetiapine
(P.s. Sorry - I know I have actually moaned more than posted helpful stuff to you!)
The job site idea might be good but aren't they usually quite long-term jobs? We've moving next July for definite so I'm not sure how suitable that would be. There's a bunch of fast food places looking for people here which I think I could do with my mcdonald's experience. But really I want to go to the police station and ask if they have any openings (not to be an officer obviously) but I'm too scared of being rejected
If I don't ask I won't get rejected Oh yeah, quetiapine munchies.
You could try joining a gym? If you struggle to afford it, I know the NHS sometimes gives out free gym memberships so you could try that? There's also the free couch to 5k program which you can download to an mp3 player and gradually up your fitness until you can run 5k I lost a few pounds doing that. You could also ask Superwolf to stop making so many delicious muffins I asked my psychiatrist for metformin as I wasn't losing weight on antipsychotics and so far I've lost 10lbs despite starting risperidone. So that might be an idea?anonymous
Haven't been to see my doctor in over a year and don't really want to go back, don't want to worry anyone. I had a bad experience with the counselling service at uni last time, got this guy who just scared me and asked nasty questions and I just cried through the whole thing so I am scared to go back now and also they have a very long waiting list. I was on Mirtazipine last time (started on Citalopram but it affected me badly) but really really don't want to go back on it what with the weight gain and the drugged mornings.
Not sure what to do with myself really.
Not sure what to do with myself really.
Hmm that does sound like a pickle. I'm on mirtazapine and it's worked great for me, I found the weight gain did level off after a while, it was more increased appetite than messing with my metabolism I think so if you're careful I think it can be avoided. It's also an odd drug in that higher doses are less sedating so you could try asking for a higher dose? Obviously you'd need to see a doctor to do that. Don't worry about worrying people, it's better to nip these things in the bud as soon as possible.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Sabertooth
Hmm that does sound like a pickle. I'm on mirtazapine and it's worked great for me, I found the weight gain did level off after a while, it was more increased appetite than messing with my metabolism I think so if you're careful I think it can be avoided. It's also an odd drug in that higher doses are less sedating so you could try asking for a higher dose? Obviously you'd need to see a doctor to do that. Don't worry about worrying people, it's better to nip these things in the bud as soon as possible.
Hmm that does sound like a pickle. I'm on mirtazapine and it's worked great for me, I found the weight gain did level off after a while, it was more increased appetite than messing with my metabolism I think so if you're careful I think it can be avoided. It's also an odd drug in that higher doses are less sedating so you could try asking for a higher dose? Obviously you'd need to see a doctor to do that. Don't worry about worrying people, it's better to nip these things in the bud as soon as possible.
Nooo moreeeee mirtazipineeeeeee
