When we don't live normally, we don't understand what "normal" is. And then we make up our own "normal."
We are the people that watch shock programmes and shrug, whilst others shriek in disbelief. Why is this? This is because we've realised we can live with true horrors whilst others cannot.
We've come to accept a life that is so bizarre and obtuse that "normal" is just a luxury to us, now!
Riku, to you specifically, I find myself responding to more frequently than others. Jealousy is the killer of relationships regardless of mental disability or issue. I know this through experience.
My fiance was eight years my senior. If I was a lesser man this would rip me to shreds, yet I did not. It turned out she was suffering a cervical disease and she was becoming less and less interested in me because she wanted me to know I would never bear her children. She made it more and more aware that this issue was ruining her, and it should ruin me too. I fought for her to understand that I wanted her, not children, and even infertile, she was perfect as a woman in my eyes, and yet she did not accept.
She fought me every step of the way, and finally defied me to the point of solace, splitting from me because she felt inadequate as a human being. Imagine me in the role of your missus here. Striving, BATTLING for you. And yet you are a petulant, furious defiant, who refuses to accept me. All I want is to be with you, yet your own secret, deluded agenda means I can't get closer to you. The more I try to ask for support, the more your silly fears break the more important elements to dust. The more you force yourself to focus on the daft and inconsequential, the less time you are focusing on what's important.
I am 29. I lost a woman who was desperate to love, yet felt her love was unwarranted without a future filled with children. She was in her late thirties. Do you understand how your own fears and phobias seem so daft in comparison to something truly relationship-destroying? Your description of "Clark Kent" is not HER problem. She's got a friend who looks like someone. This is all she knows, but you're reading that as "She says he looks like Clark Kent meaning he's hot and I want him, because anyone talking about Clark Kent fancies the pants off him". It's like you're purposely, consciously missing about three logical steps in your head to feed your anxiety. If you're not willing to accept she has pals, and that those pals are of a different gender to her, then perhaps a relationship is not quite something you're ready for at at all. If you are willing to accept that this girl is accommodating you at every avenue with great effort, then you should also be willing to acknowledge she is a woman, a PERSON, not a belonging. She's allowed to have friends, pals, buddies, aquaintances. If she is not, then break it off. You are not mature enough for ANY relationship yet. If you simply cannot find mental peace when you are with her, then focus on healing your subpsychotic anxiety on your own first, before bringing her or any other woman into the equation.
A lady is a person, not a thing. A person with feelings that may or may not match your own, but may echo your hopes. When a lady speaks it should echo your future. If it does, you should tread in the steps of her voice. If not, you may ask her to follow, but you cannot drag her there.