Mental Health Support Society Mk X

Spent the evening in a&e Girlfriend took me there, saw the Psych team, they are gonna try and chase my care up. They did originally say to work with HTT but then they decided that I only got discharged from them a week ago that it wasn't appropriate. I did get referred to the local recovery team (a long term CMHT) but they haven't allocated me a care coordinator, they haven't told me when I'm seeing a psychiatrist and haven't told me about when I'm seeing anyone. It's just hard, I'm having money problems, struggling with alcohol, struggling with low mood, hallucinations and dissociation but I don't have any real support atm. I can feel things slipping back to the point where I got sectioned last year. I don't want to go there again, but I just want someone to help. Everything feels so unstable at the minute, even the stable things seem wobbly. I'm trying to move on from my mental health problems and focus on my new life, but I just can't seem to shake it off at the moment. I'm fed up of hospitals and psychiatrists and risk assessments and medication. I just wish I had my old social worker back, he was the one who knew how to give me a friendly kick up the arse and get me moving towards recovery again.

The thing that has kept me going is my social work course and my special constable application. However, my GP is telling the Occupational Health people about my very recent 3 week home treatment episode and my relapse, so I'm so scared I'm going to lose those things


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Day two and my ****ty body wins again
Cant get to sleep either and my boyfriends fast asleep due to sleeping pills
Just so tired but so worked up and so blank to life atm its currently a massive uphill struggle!
Can i stop the world and jump off yet?


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i promise you are safe hun, i really really do!

also your not bad

I should be graduating today

Urgh. So fed up of my body being ****. Just had a really nasty low blood sugar which I didn't even notice because it just felt like derealisation/extreme dissociation. Wasn't until I tried to open a door and realised I physically couldn't that I realised there was something physically wrong, and that's not very good cos I was at a level that could have made me pass out or have a seizure. And I was in my room so nobody would have found me until way too late.

The whole reason this is happening is because I've come off the pill, which was raising my blood sugar a lot so I had been taking a lot more insulin to deal with that. Since coming off the pill my blood sugars are generally more stable which means less bodily damage etc. And, presumably because I have testosterone active in my system again (the pill I was on blocks testosterone), I've started gaining muscle way more from exercise, which is great and means my performance is improving faster.

But I was on the pill for a reason, and having periods properly again (and unpredictably) is so problematic and triggering for PTSD, flashbacks, etc. And acne and body hair are coming back in a big way, and it's making me feel more self-conscious and uncomfortable being with people - acne stuff always triggers feelings of being dirty and contaminated, which then triggers PTSD stuff as well..

This is so ****ing frustrating. Not sure if I should go back on the pill and accept that it's going to increase my chance of diabetes complications and probably decrease my lifespan (not even sure I care that much? but maybe one day I will), along with making me less muscular and increasing BP and chance of blood clots and whatever. Or whether I should stay off it and be healthier generally (fitness and blood sugar) but a week every month where I'm ridiculously triggered and have lots of flashbacks, and really low confidence in my skin etc.?

Stupid conflicting health issues suck. Nobody will even advise me properly because diabetes consultants say I should do what is best for diabetes, psych consultants say I should do whatever will make me least risk to myself, and GPs just throw their hands in the air and admit they don't know how to deal with the conflict. :s

Were you on the combined Pill? It could be worth discussing being on the progesterone-only Pill, or discussing the implant/injection to help your periods?

Yeah, that's true actually. Need to remind myself not to be all-or-nothing (). I tend to automatically look at the contraception methods which improve PCOS symptoms, because I was originally put on the pill for acne, and that limits to a couple of particularly pills, the most effective of which is apparently much 'stronger' than most BC pills. So maybe if I decide I don't care that much about my skin I can look into other contraceptive options to deal with ****ty periods... I have a GP appointment on Monday so will attempt to discuss it then, hopefully this guy knows his stuff

Hope you're doing a bit better today

Re: acne have a look into an antibiotic called dixycycline its a long effect one so your one it for months, but it helps massively, i was (and still should be) on it and my skin was amazing after being on it, therefore you can look at other contraception types.


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Thanks, yeah I've been on 3 different antibiotics and none of them helped sadly - one of them was doxycycline I think so assuming that's the same? I was on it for about 6 months but it didn't really improve things so they said it was likely hormonal rather than bacterial or something. Dianette, which is the pill I was on for a couple of years, totally cleared the acne up which was amazing and generally made life less painful but it's frustrating that it's problematic for other areas of health..

Sorry I seem to have brought physical health problems into MHSS.. grr interactions.

Can't do this.

Yeah i meant doxycycline, sorry im on my phone and have fat fingers

Hummm yeah must be hard to get one thing sorted then have it ruin something else
Is your diabetes manageable if your on the pill?




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What're you trying to do?