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Ask a Transwoman!

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Original post by officelinebacker
I have no questions to add to this thread, nothing useful to contribute, but I just felt I had to put this in here after reading that post.



hehe, aww that was pretty awesome :smile:
Just wanted to say I am loving this thread. I know next to nothing about transgender(ism)? Like I said, I know nothing, so reading this has been really interesting. Me and my housemate were complaining that being transgender isn't something people know enough about.
It wouldnt be an academic year for me.. without a stupidly ambitious project, now would it? :biggrin:

Last year I started an anti-bullying campaign, which raised over £800, and reached over 130,000 people with its messages to end bullying.. (and featured a butt load of lovely chocolate) :blush:

The year before I campaigned with others to get my university to officially support equal marriage (in the face of stiff opposition) :u:

The year before I built a wooden kayak.. well, just because..(I like making things out of wood..) it took many months and 800 pieces of wood, (this was before I found my liking for worthy causes and charity work :tongue: )


It just wouldn't be a year in the life of lily, without an ambitious project that made my life a lot harder then it needed to be, and thoroughly interfered with my studies, sleep, and social life.. they always have problems, and none of them have ever been perfect - but despite this they have each achieved something, and through their flaws, I am proud of them :smile: :redface:

Anyway... this years project is just starting (well.. ish.)

Me and a small team of trans* and LGBT individuals are working on a short-film project, that aims to show the public what it is like to live as trans* individual.
It's shot as if through her eyes, and covers her interacting with people in public, facing prejudice & discrimination, dealing with her own thoughts, and dysphoria, and much more!

We are currently securing up the final bit of funding the project needs, through kickstarter, and then will be filming in November!

Its a crazy tight and busy schedule, through to its completion in December, but personally, I really feel like a film of this nature is needed - if only to inspire a greater level of empathy between the general public, and trans people.

Anyway.. all the detials are in my sig, and at the bottom of this message (if you fancy checking it out/helping out) :colondollar:

And I may keep this page updated with how its going (from a more personal point of view, to the 'official' film pages and blogs :redface: )

Eeeek! :biggrin:

Lily x


http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1607874694/through-her-eyes-0
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Through-Her-Eyes/451919361583632
I love this new project, hope it goes well m'love.

Questions: Any treatment updates?
How's everything going?
Would you dye your hair?
Original post by minimarshmallow
I love this new project, hope it goes well m'love.

Questions: Any treatment updates?
How's everything going?
Would you dye your hair?


thanks :biggrin: - im very nervous and scared about it..

Usually I tend to do things by myself.. but this time its with a whole lovely team of trans and LGBT people... which makes me very nervous!

(I dont know why I do the projects, they always stress me out, and make my life far harder then it needs to be :tongue: )

Questions:

1, nope :frown: Come january I will be eligable for GRS, but I'm not sure if I will be able to do it straight away.. my life is so crazy at the moment, that I am having trouble finding time for my normal GIC apointments, let alone all the extra things that comes with sugery..
I am meant to be getting lazer hair removal soon.. but its taking a long time to get organised and sorted out (not my end) - but hopefully hopefully before christmas I will start that.. which will be the single bigest help to my life :smile:

2, well.. Ish, I mean, Its a very stressfull time! Final year of my course, + my new project(been planning for months) + All my other commitments to charity/volentary things.. there is just so so much to do!
Not going to lie, I struggle quite a bit to stay afloat at times.. I get minimal sleep at the moment, and eating is something which happens inbetween work..

But hopefully it will all be worth it, as what happens this year could lay the foundations for the next few years :smile:

3, I used to dye my hair a lot :smile: but about 6 months ago I stopped, as my hair was getting to damaged.. its now growing out - and almost back to normal, but still a kind of funny mix of colours, with different muted shades of redish hair, orange, brown and blond :smile: - in the future, I will probably dye it agian, but il give it a year or so of being normal :smile:

x
First abuse I have had in a month or so.. :frown:

Bellow is my thoughts/roughly what happened.. It wasn't that bad, but still always takes me by surprise :frown:

[This is lifted dirrectly off my film-promotion blog, so it goes a bit promotional at the end.. ignore that.. but I dont have the energy to re-write it..]

"It" - Abuse




"This is me, Lily The organiser of the film.

This photo was taken just as I arrived back from a production meeting for the film. I don’t look very feminine: by this point I had been on the go for 14 hours, mostly working on the film. My hair is just casually tied back, I’m wearing minimal makeup, casual old clothes… All in all, not passing very well.

Even with all this in mind, you are still taken by surprise when the abuse comes.

It’s almost too perfect, is it not? Trans* women, is on her way home from a meeting for a film about trans* abuse.. and then suffers abuse herself.

Somehow the bittersweet timing of the whole thing, did still manage to reach me, as I blocked out the sound of guy shouting

‘WHAT IS IT??’
‘****ING TRANNY, IF THAT’S A BOY, I WILL KICK THE **** OUT OF IT’
[By this point I’m escaping away very swiftly..]

I won’t go into full details of what was said.. it’s not productive for any of us, and after an evening of this, then having to look at a picture of myself, I would prefer to just pretend none of it exists.

I wasn’t even going to mention it. As I walked home, I thought:

“no I won’t use a bad event, as a way to hit home a message about my film project”

But then the more I thought about it, the more it changed to:

“Yes, actually, I will use it. I will try and take this ****ty and awful occurrence and use it in the film promotion?
Why? Because the thought of turning their abuse, into a tool for helping people. The idea that their hatred, would end up helping to raise money to support the very thing they so explicitly hate? Is just one that I can’t resist”

There will be no further updates this evening, as I just want to forget I exist for a little while, and ignore trans* things.

Thank you all for your support on the project, it means so much to me. Even more so, in light of tonight’s events, that you are all so willing to help out and stop things like this from happening.

For anyone who is still thinking about supporting the cause: Please Please do. I don’t want anyone to feel as I do now, and I don’t want anyone to be treated with as little worth and value as I was tonight."
Also, the picture is a bad picture - but it is me, nearly 11 months on hormones :tongue: (though with huge level/dose problems, and that im to busy to really properly commit to treatment things, changes have slowed over the last 4months)

I will be taking a proper picture tommorow, for other reaosns.. This one, was really just to show how I looked when it all happened.. and as such im scruffy, wearing old clothes, no makeup ,hair tied back, etc..
As another update.. starting tommorow its 'lily-does-movember'

I will explain more later.. but to be quck: I am doing movember in recgonition that trans* women can also suffer with prostate and testicular cancer.
Reply 348
Original post by fallen_acorns
As another update.. starting tommorow its 'lily-does-movember'

I will explain more later.. but to be quck: I am doing movember in recgonition that trans* women can also suffer with prostate and testicular cancer.

Wow what a great idea, that's never been something that I've considered. Are you doing it to raise money? I have no way of donating to you directly but I'll be thinking of you when I make my general donation :biggrin:

I have so much love for this thread, been amazing to see your transformation. Don't have any questions though, just here to say thanks for informing me and I wish you the best of luck for the future :smile:
Reply 349
Haven't posted a question in ages. Nor will I now. I just thought you may appreciate this little doozey from Paris Lees... [video="youtube;ba0v6EdOWwY"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba0v6EdOWwY[/video]
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your gender identity for religious reasons? What kind of attitudes do religions have towards transgender people, and have these attitudes affected you?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by AWJChadders
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your gender identity for religious reasons? What kind of attitudes do religions have towards transgender people, and have these attitudes affected you?


Posted from TSR Mobile


umm, in all honesty.. not that I know of. well, ish.

I mean, I have been discriminated against, and faced abuse/problems with people.. but you never really know why..
in the moment, you dont exactly have a debate, so I dont know why the man kicked me out of X place, or why the guy shouted X at me... maybe it was because of their religion? maybe not?

I guess, I mean, I certianly am nervous around groups that are more religious.. put me in a room with an islamic group, or a group of more traditional christians, and I would probably presume they had a problem with me..

On the other hand a lot of my closes friends are religious, and range from islam, christianity and hinduism.. so its not a complete rule :smile: - there are friendly and cruel people in them all..
How long have you been on hormones etc?
did you just go to the doctor or what is the process exactly?
Does the NHS cover it?

Can you also answer this for me? You can just reply in this thread as opposed to that one instead of making two posts.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2502498

Thanks
Original post by bestofyou
How long have you been on hormones etc?
did you just go to the doctor or what is the process exactly?
Does the NHS cover it?

Can you also answer this for me? You can just reply in this thread as opposed to that one instead of making two posts.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2502498

Thanks


- I have been on hormones for 11 months now,
But it has not been very straight forward.. I tend to lead a pretty eratic and unstable life, so keeping track of things like hormones is challenging at times- and keeping up with GIC appointments and things is tough.. so my levels and dose have been all over the place.. They are great though, the changes are slow, and take up to 4 years or so, to fully have their effect.. and that effect changes based on the person.

- You go to the doctor first,
- Then they refer you to a psychiatrist/therapist, who will assess whether you need any treatment/how you feel.
- After this, you will be refered to a GIC (gender Identity clinic) where you will reciever your trieatment.
- At the GIC, it takes a mimium of 3 months living as a girl, 3 apointments with a psychotherapist, and an apointment with their doctor, before they will even consider giving you hormones.. its very personal, they base it on whether you are ready, and how you will cope.

- Yes the NHS will cover it, although it take a while, from the moment you see your doctor, to getting hormones, usually can take 12 months or so.. (depending on where you live)
- Other people will go private, and pay themselves, as that means you can do it quicker.

As for makeup:

This is a very old, and standard way of doing trans* makeup - its often the 'defualt' that new trans* people, start with... then over time they try different things, and addpat it to look good on them/change thigns around:

To hide stuble/blue shaddow/hair folicules on face:

1, Concealer, slightly lighter then your skin tone, covering the whole area
2, Lipstick. it sounds wierd, but a couple of dabs of red lipstick, counters the blue nature of mens chins.. not to much, it should look you are slightly flustered, not sunburned!
3, foundation, matching your skin tone - it will bring everything back to the right colour/tone, but without the blue
4, Powder/stuff - to finish it off, and make it look nice/real/not like make-up :smile:

Face:

- The key things with the face, are to empahise your cheek bones, and destract away from male features, it depends what your face is like, but trans* women will use makeup to try and contour their face into a more female shape.

Eyes:

- Big big eyes.. most trans people use the typical mascara/shadow style, to make their eyes stand out more, and seem bigger.. as bigger eyes = more feminine, typically..

Hair:

- Hair is a big thing to consider, it can be used to cover up male features, say a frindge covering up a more male forhead, or short/long hair by the side of your face, to frame it in a more female way, etc.

-- those would be the basic things to consider :smile:

its a long process being trans, it doesnt happen quickly, and it is a painfull journey, but if it is something you have to do, then you will end a more happy, confident, and content person.
Reply 354
fallen_acorns
x


Hey, i'm interested to know what made you undergo this transformation? Was it like a gradual change in self-perception or was it more of an epiphany of some sort? Or was it a combination of different things?

Apologies if you've answered this before, feel free to link me to the post if you have. Thanks.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by fallen_acorns
- I have been on hormones for 11 months now,
But it has not been very straight forward.. I tend to lead a pretty eratic and unstable life, so keeping track of things like hormones is challenging at times- and keeping up with GIC appointments and things is tough.. so my levels and dose have been all over the place.. They are great though, the changes are slow, and take up to 4 years or so, to fully have their effect.. and that effect changes based on the person.

- You go to the doctor first,
- Then they refer you to a psychiatrist/therapist, who will assess whether you need any treatment/how you feel.
- After this, you will be refered to a GIC (gender Identity clinic) where you will reciever your trieatment.
- At the GIC, it takes a mimium of 3 months living as a girl, 3 apointments with a psychotherapist, and an apointment with their doctor, before they will even consider giving you hormones.. its very personal, they base it on whether you are ready, and how you will cope.

- Yes the NHS will cover it, although it take a while, from the moment you see your doctor, to getting hormones, usually can take 12 months or so.. (depending on where you live)
- Other people will go private, and pay themselves, as that means you can do it quicker.


How do they know you have been living as a girl? I mean granted it would be pointless to do so, but hypothetically can't you just tell them that you lived as a female for x months?

How much quicker is it private and how much does it cost? Would that be with the likes of BUPA?

One thing is that my hair is quite thin and only getting thinner, 12 months down the line it could end up looking so awful that I'll not even be able to grow it out and I'd much prefer not to have to use wigs all the time. Is there anything that can be done about that?

When you told everyone, how much of a surprise was it etc? I've just started university and made friends as a male, its going to be hard just showing up looking like a girl. Do you think I should consider a transfer?

Thanks for the advice btw

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