My boyfriend is 40, can I have lots of babies with him?

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Reply 40

manchesterunited15

Original post by Anonymous

Of course it's bad, stop being so politically correct all the time.

Didn't mean to be anonymous.

Reply 41

WGR

Ah that reminds me My uncle has a wedding next week that I am supposed to attend. Thanks to a similar age gap I will now have an aunt that is younger than me :s-smilie:

Reply 42

Mockery

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

Next issue - your boyfriend eating ready meals will not affect your potential child one bit.

Actually, that might not be true... Lifestyle effects your genome, being the heightened expression of some genes and the down regulation of others. Bad lifestyle habits could in turn lead to 'weaker' genes which is then represented in your gametes, and ultimately your offspring.

Reply 43

SoftPunch

Original post by Digital_Love

I'm 25, my long-term boyfriend is 40, and we might be getting married soon. When that happens, would it still be ok for us to have children? Or to be more specific, have a BIG family?

I want to have about 5 children; but I am worried I'm not in a good relationship for this, as my boyfriend might be too old? I love him and he loves me, he had a kid about 20 years ago but doesn't get to see his child because his ex is a *****. However, he said he would be happy starting anew again. But, I've read that as one ages, one is more likely to conceive a baby with mental problems, and I'm terrified with this. Also, he doesn't eat the best... much of the time he eats ready meals as he is so busy with work, and this also worries me but I don't know how much this might affect the baby if we had one (he's not 'fat', just a bit unhealthy I'd say).

It's not him who has to give birth - so why not.
Just do abortion if baby is screened to have a problem.

(edited 10 years ago)

Best get cracking...

Original post by SoftPunch

It's not him who has to give birth - so why not.

No, but the male has a role when it comes to conceiving a child. Although I believe maternal age is more closely linked, and it is the mother carrying the child, a man's sperm (and the DNA in the sperm) can deteriorate as he ages

Just do abortion if baby is screened to have a problem.

Yes, it's easy as that....

Reply 46

Pastaferian

Original post by Digital_Love

Do the maths... if you start trying for a family now and assume a couple of years between each kid (*), he'll be 49 when the youngest is born, 67 when it leaves home, and 70 when it leaves uni. Finances will become an issue later in life - there will be lots of calls on the Bank of Mum and Dad (getting them through uni, paying for weddings, mortgage deposits, etc) at the same time as his health will start failing.

(*) a figure I plucked from my family tree, when the norm was for ten kids per family, produced at a rate of one every two years

Reply 47

Digital_Love

Thanks guys, you are giving me a good insight into what life would be like. It's so frustrating to have found someone so special, but in which huge sacrifices might have to be made, such as the health of my children and the age factor. I haven't met anyone else like him and we get on so much, so I suppose this instance boils down to a matter of choosing between love, and life (as in children, happiness in the future). Arrgh!!

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 48

Maid Marian

Yes, I give you my permission. Only just this once, though. :curious:

Reply 49

beckaroo7

My mum and dad had me at 40. So i guess it's okay. I've never heard of mental problems because of the age of the man, things like that are due to the age of the mother I think, as the mother carries it.

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Reply 50

theorangebox

Original post by DorianGrayism

What utter BS.

IF he was that desperate to see his child then he could have got access through the Courts. Has he even bothered to pay any form of maintenance?

I understand what you're getting at, but as someone whose own father tried to do this, please understand that court cases like that can be extremely traumatic for a child. I'm not saying whether this guy personally should or shouldn't have gone through courts, but it's not simply a matter of how 'desperate' he is. It's also important he thinks of how it will affect his child.

Reply 51

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Original post by Mockery

I think you're clutching at straws really

Original post by silverbolt

I agree PMP but it has to be reciprocated - 20 years and a bitch of an ex, my guess would be she has made out that the dad is the greatest slime on earth and probabl wont want to see him

maybe. He could give it a go though - now that the 'child' is an adult they may want to make up their own mind about their dad. It's worth a shot - at least then he can say he tried.

Reply 52

Mockery

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

I think you're clutching at straws really

Yes, the large sums of money that are continuously invested into the study of genetics and the time of the scientists who develop the ideas and formulate the studies, is nothing more than "clutching at straws".

Reply 53

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Original post by Mockery

You really think that because the guy likes ready meals his children are going to be adversely affected? I've never heard of a ready meal changing somebody's genetics.

Reply 54

River85

Original post by beckaroo7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age

The chance of developing Autism and schizophrenia, among other things, can be increased.

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

I think you're clutching at straws really.

http://www.livescience.com/21902-diet-epigenetics-grandchildren.html

Reply 55

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Original post by River85

http://www.livescience.com/21902-diet-epigenetics-grandchildren.html

Okay I guess I stand corrected. I'd never heard that before. Still I'm not really sure anybody would really say "my other half eats ready meals, therefore I shouldn't have children with them."

Reply 56

Mockery

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

You really think that because the guy likes ready meals his children are going to be adversely affected? I've never heard of a ready meal changing somebody's genetics.

It is becoming far more understood as to why a healthy lifestyle reduces your risk of life threatening diseases such as cancer, as well as generally improving your lifespan. And it is becoming ever more clear that it is happening on a genetical level.

http://press.thelancet.com/lifestyletelomeres.pdf
http://www.pnas.org/content/105/24/8369.full.pdf+html

I can link to many more papers if needs be and I'm pretty sure I read a paper not so long ago that outlined the potential for a poor lifestyle resulting in children more prone to health issues, but I'm struggling to find it.

Edit: River85 found some for me :wink:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 57

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Original post by Mockery

indeed as I said above I stand corrected.

I've never heard of it anecdotally though - not unless the child itself gets fed crap too when it comes along.

But you have made your point.