Boyfriend's ex back on the scene - wrong to make this a dealbreaker?

Reply 20

techno-thriller

14

Firmness goes a long way.

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by techno-thriller

Firmness goes a long way.

I thought it did. But I told my boyfriend (firmly) that I wasn't happy with them meeting - he is still going to.

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by beckaroo7

maybe the things he thought would be simple ended up being much more difficult than he'd thought. I'd be uncomfortable about it though

I think the problem is that I am uncomfortable about it. I feel uncomfortable about continuing with a relationship whilst feeling that way - but what's the other option? End the relationship? I do love him.

Basically I presented the suggestion to the team that we have an end date in mind that we can all work to - but then my boyfriend's ex swept in with a snide comment and started making up her own very vague timeframe.

Reply 23

bluemax

16

Its clear he likes her but he gets frustrated that she treats him like crap. Its up to you if you can keep up with this.

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by bluemax

Its clear he likes her but he gets frustrated that she treats him like crap. Its up to you if you can keep up with this.

Makes sense actually. Thing is though he hadn't spoken to her for several months until she asked him to go for a drink. It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and he cooked me a three course meal. He's also said that other than a few family members I'm the only female he's said 'I love you' to.

I'm hoping that the feelings he might still have for her aren't as strong as the ones he has for me...but it's worrying because they were close for so long and sometimes I feel like I can't measure up.

Reply 25

bluemax

16

Original post by Anonymous

Makes sense actually. Thing is though he hadn't spoken to her for several months until she asked him to go for a drink. It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and he cooked me a three course meal. He's also said that other than a few family members I'm the only female he's said 'I love you' to.

I'm hoping that the feelings he might still have for her aren't as strong as the ones he has for me...but it's worrying because they were close for so long and sometimes I feel like I can't measure up.

I really hope so too. Maybe you can sit down with him one day and ask nicely that maybe its about time he needs to move on, cut off things with her completely. Tell him it bothers you. He should understand.

If she was a big part of his life then its understandable if he agreed to meet her once (i don't believe that you can lose your feelings for someone completely even after break up). However he should've stopped after that. He really should decide how and with who he wants things to be.

I hope the best for you :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 26

joker12345

19

Original post by Anonymous

I thought it did. But I told my boyfriend (firmly) that I wasn't happy with them meeting - he is still going to.

What exactly did he say? Did he just point blank say he was going anyway?
Personally, I feel like a group thing would be acceptable (I'd still be uncomfortable though) but one-on-one would be a deal breaker. I'd suggest you joining this group meeting to him.

Boyfriend's ex back on the scene - wrong to make this a dealbreaker?

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