Can using the computer too much make you spaced out/awkward in social situations?

i have used my computer a lot over my life. i've spent many countless hours on my computer playing games, on the internet, doing work etc. i read somewhere that if you use a computer a lot, the electromagnetic waves enter your brain and make you feel spaced out/generally bad in social situations. i'm starting to think i might be bad in social situations because of this. if i use the computer less and instead read a book or watched TV, would i feel much better and perform better in social settings?

is there any truth behind this or does it sound rubbish? i would be interested to hear of any personal experiences on this.

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Reply 1

Lotus_Eater

Yes, I think it probably does need to be used in moderation. I don't think the electromagnetic waves are such a concern but the isolation is more troubling. Making friendships and relationships is something most of us aren't naturally good at - we need to practice. The problem with staying on the computer all day is that we don't get that practice.

Given that you have voiced your lack of success with women before, I would absolutely urge you to make a change. Ideally it wouldn't be something so isolated as reading, but I think you should knock the computer stuff on the head for a while and see how it goes.

TSR will, I'm sure, miss your posts but give yourself a break from it until, say, Christmas, and that might kick-start things for you.

Reply 2

MissDavies

I don't know anything about electromagnetic waves but if you spend more time inside and alone on your computer then it stands to reason that you'll be worse in social situations than people who are constantly socialising.

Yes obvs

It did for me ...

You just need practice. That's the advice that my cousin keeps drilling into me ...

Reply 5

PeaceTreaty

The question should be "can a lack of social interaction make you awkward in social situations?" With the answer being yes.

Reply 6

RunningScotsman

Computers do emit electromagnetic waves, usually in the visible light spectrum. They are generally emitted from the monitor. Try closing your eyes when you're on the computer, you'll dramatically reduce your electromagnetic intake.

Reply 7

IlexBlue

I don't know about the "waves", but the lack of time spent in social situations will be what's causing it.

I was ill a few years ago, didn't really see anyone outside of the odd family member and didn't meet up with friends for months. When I got better, social situations felt so awkward/ forced and exhausting to navigate for a while after.

Reply 8

eelnais

I disagree - when I'm not out, I'm basically on my laptop. I spend hours every day on it but still manage to have an active social life.

Reply 9

Dragonfly07

It's not the electromagnetic waves. I spent most of my time reading books from an early age, away from the computer (although if I had access to a computer it would have probably replaced books). I literally did it all day every day with barely anything else. I never socialized or did anything that other people did. I was spaced out a lot and didn't know how to act in social situations.

Basically if you act like an aspie, you'll become one. All you need to do it moderate yourself.

Reply 10

Bassetts

Original post by Lotus_Eater

what should i do instead of the computer? bearing in mind i have no social life and no friends. :o:

there are people who vaguely know me but thats about it.

Original post by RunningScotsman

i cant see the screen when i close my eyes. or was this meant to be a sarcastic reference? :o:

Original post by eelnais

I disagree - when I'm not out, I'm basically on my laptop. I spend hours every day on it but still manage to have an active social life.

i have a desktop. the screen is much bigger and on the same horizontal plane as your eyes. this could make a difference.

Original post by Dragonfly07

can you 'become' an aspie? i thought it was a case of you either have or you havent got it. :o:

Reply 11

eelnais

I think you're trying to find excuses.

Reply 12

Dragonfly07

Original post by Bassetts

can you 'become' an aspie? i thought it was a case of you either have or you havent got it. :o:

lol no I use it as a figure of speech.

Reply 13

Tiger Rag

Original post by Bassetts

what should i do instead of the computer? bearing in mind i have no social life and no friends. :o:

there are people who vaguely know me but thats about it.

Join clubs. That's what I did.

can you 'become' an aspie? i thought it was a case of you either have or you havent got it. :o:

No you can't. I have a feeling that you want to be one though; so then you'll have an excuse.

Reply 14

Orthonym

When I was younger I would be playing games on my family's desktop pc, and my mum would constantly ramble about random things whilst she was cooking. I learnt to block it out rather than stop my game every time she tried to get my attention about how long it was until she needs to dust the piano again, or how my brothers should help out more. Now I'm just quite ignorant of things when I'm concentrating on 1 thing, but it hasn't really affected me socially.

Think though, your social abilities are about neurons in your brain that activate when you hear someone talking, and make you able to respond with your own comment. If there were electromagnetic waves that altered that, then they'd probably be able to alter all the neurons in your body, which would result in you being really dumb and slow and lose all your memories and you'd move slower because your neurons work slower. So that's rubbish really.

Reply 15

Tomsta

Original post by Bassetts

Well it can depend, if you soley use your computer and get no human interaction in life then yes it will make you awkward as you don't know how to act as the only thing you know is how to act infront of a computer screen, but if used in moderation, it doesn't posess much of a problem

Reply 16

Karlsberg62

Use the computer to find some interesting hobbies in your area, join clubs, just anything outside your normal comfort zone. It will be strange. It will be hell for a week or two. But guess what? Their will probably be others who are having exactly the same feelings! And be pro active with organizing things, people remember the guy/girl who said to go here or there, try this and that.

On the side of using the computer all day, moderation. It's good to have a night in sometimes on the computer. Just not every night. Good luck. :smile:

Reply 17

ChaosisaLadder

I use it most nights if I'm not studying or seeing friends and it hasn't done much harm to me.

Reply 18

Lotus_Eater

Original post by Bassetts

what should i do instead of the computer? bearing in mind i have no social life and no friends. :o:

there are people who vaguely know me but thats about it.

I appreciate it might not be the best time to do it but definitely join some Uni societies (I think I remember you saying elsewhere you're at Uni but apologies if I've made that up). Go in with low-expectations: it's going to take some time to get this right. Language classes can be a particularly good move, especially as you end up with a skill.

I can't believe what I'm about to say this but... how to do you feel about religion? Not only do religious groups flourish inside and outside Universities, but they often attract some shy people so it might be a good way of coming out of your shell socially. I am an avowed enemy of all religion but I can't deny that the CU in particular is a formidable social engine.

There's probably going to be a few false-starts and it'll need some patience but if you follow this advice I am sure it wouldn't hurt your pursuit for a girlfriend either.

Reply 19

username927016

If it's not in moderation then I think it can, plus books & TV won't help you either unless it's giving you advice on how to approach & act in social situations, the best way to improve it is actually going out & interacting with people.