The Student Room Group

Opinions on housewives/house-husbands?

Poll

Do you approve of housewives/house husbands?

Personally, I'm very focused on my career and could never rely on a guy to support me. It would just feel weird and like my ambition had died. I imagine most of TSR would like to do the same themselves. For me, it would feel like I was scrounging, although I don't judge people in the slightest for doing the same.

I'm just curious, however - do you approve of people staying at home to look after the kids/do chores when the kids are at school as opposed to getting their own full-time job? What about if they've just had a baby? Do you reckon it's fine if the other partner actually earns a lot? Is it even feasible to do so and then expect to live comfortably most of the time?

Do you think gender makes any difference? (I don't).

P.S. This is inspired by Tyrion's thread, but please don't have a go at her here or preferably on her thread either! Thank you :smile:
(edited 10 years ago)

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Was just about to comment, then saw your last comment so you probably know I'm okay with it. :tongue: For some reason on this site, people are a bit hypocritical. There are a lot of posts moaning about modern women, and then when someone says they want to do something traditional, they get lambasted for being a "lazy ignorant scrounger". :s-smilie:
Reply 2
Where's the 'who cares' option? I don't see anyone should have to approve or disapprove of something like housewives/house husbands.
Reply 3
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Was just about to comment, then saw your last comment so you probably know I'm okay with it. :tongue: For some reason on this site, people are a bit hypocritical. There are a lot of posts moaning about modern women, and then when someone says they want to do something traditional, they get lambasted for being a "lazy ignorant scrounger". :s-smilie:


Yeah, I know Tyrion Lannister (on TSR or Game of Thrones) is capable of taking care of themselves, but I don't like people picking on other people :tongue:

I don't understand that part yes, either you have a career or you don't? Some haters just gon hate :tongue: I'm not actually sure how "traditional" being a housewife is seen as anymore so thought I'd ask out of curiosity. Most of the adult women I know work, but I don't think they're necessarily representative of everyone.

Come to think of it, nearly all the housewives I know are religious (Christians), I don't know if that has anything to do with it though?
Whether I "approve" or not is pointless, people are going to do what they want with their lives.

Personally it's not something I would ever do, aside from if I had children. I like the idea of being independent and always being able to support myself regardless of other people being able to or not.
Original post by Alpha brah
Yeah, I know Tyrion Lannister (on TSR or Game of Thrones) is capable of taking care of themselves, but I don't like people picking on other people :tongue:

I don't understand that part yes, either you have a career or you don't? Some haters just gon hate :tongue: I'm not actually sure how "traditional" being a housewife is seen as anymore so thought I'd ask out of curiosity. Most of the adult women I know work, but I don't think they're necessarily representative of everyone.

Come to think of it, nearly all the housewives I know are religious (Christians), I don't know if that has anything to do with it though?


Thank you :tongue:

Yeah I'm not sure either. Religion I think is often amongst more conservative people who will likely have conservative values? I don't know many housewives myself, I know a lot of women who sort of do both by working part time though.
Reply 6
Original post by desdemonata
Whether I "approve" or not is pointless, people are going to do what they want with their lives.

Personally it's not something I would ever do, aside from if I had children. I like the idea of being independent and always being able to support myself regardless of other people being able to or not.


I wasn't really sure how to phrase the question TBH, I just wanted to see if it were still viewed as normal or not :dontknow: I know some of my mum's friends worry they'll be seen as old-fashioned or outdated if they stay at home, though their husbands earn enough for two.

So, if you had children, you'd stay at home? :smile:
Reply 7
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Thank you :tongue:

Yeah I'm not sure either. Religion I think is often amongst more conservative people who will likely have conservative values? I don't know many housewives myself, I know a lot of women who sort of do both by working part time though.


Yw :smile: I suppose so yeah, I'm surprised the religious guys aren't more annoyed at it though as you never see any "house husbands". Do you mean work part-time as in take maternity leave and stuff when they have kids, or just generally?
Original post by Alpha brah
Yw :smile: I suppose so yeah, I'm surprised the religious guys aren't more annoyed at it though as you never see any "house husbands". Do you mean work part-time as in take maternity leave and stuff when they have kids, or just generally?


Generally :smile: I know a lot of people who work a few days a week and have a couple of days extra off to sort stuff
Original post by Alpha brah
x


My Internet connection is patchy and awful as anything :argh:

I think it's only really considered normal for people who can afford to do so. In most households, both people need to be working, particularly if they have children (or something else money-consuming haha). Honestly I would just get bored being a housewife. With dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, grocery deliveries to your door, you don't need half as much time to be a housewife, so I would often sit around doing nothing, which I already get bored of doing over the summer :s-smilie:

I would stay at home with young children until they went to Kindergarten, at which time I would start working again. That's obviously a provisional plan though :tongue:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 10
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Generally :smile: I know a lot of people who work a few days a week and have a couple of days extra off to sort stuff


Oh right :smile: I guess that would be good if you wanted to balance stuff out. I couldn't do it personally but I'm too much of a workaholic haha. I may end up with a house husband in about five years' time :ahee:
Original post by Alpha brah
Oh right :smile: I guess that would be good if you wanted to balance stuff out. I couldn't do it personally but I'm too much of a workaholic haha. I may end up with a house husband in about five years' time :ahee:


Break the mould!
Reply 12
Original post by desdemonata
I wasn't really sure how to phrase the question TBH, I just wanted to see if it were still viewed as normal or not :dontknow: I know some of my mum's friends worry they'll be seen as old-fashioned or outdated if they stay at home, though their husbands earn enough for two.

So, if you had children, you'd stay a


I'm sorry, your quote got broken? :smile:
Reply 13
Whatever works best for the individual woman or man and their family.

People who say housewives are lazy are pathetic, just because they can afford to you don't need to be so bitter. Those women don't owe you anything that they need to go out to work just to spare your feelings. :rolleyes:
People should be free to chose to live however they want as long as it isn't harming anyone. I personally wouldn't be a "housewife", as I don't really have any interest in having kids in the first place, I like the idea of earning my own money so I would have something I could "rely on", and I think I'd probably get pretty bored staying home all the time :p: But if someone else chooses to live that way, who am I to tell them they're wrong? And if my boyfriend decided he wanted to quit and become a "house husband" and we were financially able for that to happen, why not? I'm not going to make him work "just because".

In fact, it's well known that the rise in expectations of women going to work without a corresponding rise in available jobs is one of the reasons why unemployment is so high ("A key factor in the increase in unemployment is that the number of people actively engaging with the labour market is increasing. Between September - November 2012 and December - February 2013 the number of people aged 16 to 64 who were “not in the labour force” fell by 57,000 to 8.95 million. A large part of this decrease was for women who remain out of the labour market to look after the family or home, which was down 45,000 between the two periods. The number of women who look after the family or home now stands at 2.06 million, the lowest estimate on record." http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/lms/labour-market-statistics/april-2013/sty-uk-unemployment-rises.html). So really, making people feel like they should be working and that they're scroungers if they're not is actually causing more of a problem in terms of say, the huge number of 16-25 year olds who can't find work and are forced onto Jobseekers. Nice irony :p:

My mum is a housewife while my dad works full time, and it's never caused us any problems. Financially we're living perfectly comfortably- with my parents owning the house outright, buying new cars every few years, a living room full of games consoles and surround sound and a huge TV etc. My family has never had to pay for childcare, as my mum was always home- I never had to go to the after school club like other people in my class. The house was always tidy and my dad can come home and spend his evenings as he wants as there's no expectation for him to do housework or cooking after a full day of work. My mum can spend her afternoons looking after my granny who is in her 80s. If something happens and we need someone to be home to let a workman in or whatever, nobody has to take time off work. It just suits us fine :dontknow:
There's nothing wrong with it. It would actually be my dream job...
Reply 16
I personally would never be a househusband, that to me is the most emasculating thing ever. I prefer a housewife and I don't mind working for the both of us.
I think there's a difference between a housewife and a sponger.

Housewife if you've got 4+ kids? Fine. That's hard work and there's a lot to be done.

Sponging off of a partner to get your hair done and go to the spa on a daily basis? Fair play, but the joke's on your partner for allowing it tbh.
personally I don't see the problem as long as they have income coming in from their partner's work. I'm probably going to be a housewife/stay at home mum for few years once I have kids and I don't mind that at all.

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Reply 19
I would never want to be a housewife, and I wouldn't want my parter to be a housewife/househusband either.

I don't mind it if both partners are OK with the arrangement, and the partner working earns enough to support the other partner and child(ren) but as soon as the couple start running into financial difficulties, or needing help from the State/parents, I strongly disapprove. Until kids are school age, fair enough, have a stay-at-home parent if it's more economically viable than paying for childcare. But once kids are at school, parents should be working.

Being a housewife or househusband without having kids sounds to me to be the most boring thing ever! I just don't understand why anyone would want their entire day to be about cleaning, cooking and doing hobbies. I certainly don't understand why somebody would want their entire day to be about those things, without contributing anything financially to their relationship.

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