What career would suit me? Generally struggling with this.

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Hmm, have you ever heard of 'managing expectations'?

You seem to want it all. Decent wage, decent job that isn't hard or boring and lots of free time.

It's just not very realistic. 20k is a pretty good wage for full time early on in a career, and unless you get on a grad scheme you would expect to be paid less than that.

But I noticed you are saying you don't care about the money so much. But isn't that kind of the reason you're getting a job? It's pretty difficult to support yourself on 15k a year. I'd be hesitant to put all your earning potential on a partner for two reasons:

1) It will breed resentment. I've worked full time, 9-5 + overtime for about 4 years now. It's pretty tough dragging yourself out of bed every day. There are so many other things I'd love to be doing that I'm too tired when I get home at seven o'clock. I've got books to write, that I'm reasonably good at. I've got cars to fix and a house to decorate a whole host of other things that I love doing with my spare time.

But I can't, because I need to pay for food, and energy and petrol for the car and our mortgage.

Don't get me wrong, I actually really like my job. It's what you listed, flexible, well paid. Analytical (vs creative because I like analytical). It's pretty much my dream job. But it's still really bloody hard to spend 40 hours or more doing it!

When my wife was working 8 hours a week, I found it hard. However much stuff you do around the house... you aren't really going to be dong it full time (the 'things' you wanted to do are a lot to do with yourself rather than your partner too) and it's tough working so hard so someone else gets all the nice things with none of the work. However much you love them, it introduces inequality, and that breeds resentment.

2) It's not a good idea for you to 'put all your eggs in one basket'. Your boyfriend might get fired. He might break a leg. He might get made redundant. What would you do then? A second income is invaluable for security to keep paying the rent.

What if your boyfriend leaves you? I know it doesn't seem likely now but even people who are married get divorced. In 20 years time do you want to start from rung 1 on a sensible career or already have a decent wage and experience. If you plan your life around your boyfriends income... you're taking a risk.

3) Money. Have you ever supported yourself? You never have enough money, trust me. As you get older your expenditure increases. You get mortgages, cars, kids, you live in nicer neighborhoods and buy nicer food.

Paying for it is hard. I earn a decent wage and we still struggle some months (more than when we were students). A second income is a god-send.

Do you ever want to buy a house? If so, your deposit is going to take 20 years to save up, or 2 if you have a decent second wage.

Personally, I think it's pretty selfish to want to work part time and expect someone else to provide for you. If you have to because you are working on building your own business or look after kids or just can't find a job - fine. But to just expect someone else to support your 'activities' just doesn't seem right to me. I'd hate it.

Absolutely agree. The future is the future and it's not certain, anything can happen.

Reply 221

desdemonata

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

I don't plan on us breaking up neither does he We live together

I agree it's hard to get a well paid part time job

Tyrion, do you even realise how naive that is.

My sister was with her boyfriend for 4 years and they lived together for 3 years during that time. They didn't plan on breaking up either, but they did, and now he lives in Australia. Nobody ever plans on breaking up in a serious relationship, but it's incredibly naive to think that in a year, two years, 5 years time things can't change. Seriously, did you actually just say that...

But you don't want just that, you want your dream job. And you can afford to be picky because you're being dependent on someone else. As I said, the issue people are taking here is that you're being dependent on someone else and yet trying to dress it up as having "different priorities". Most people would call this "not wanting to grow up".

Reply 222

Biblio

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

I do History of art..

ok, maybe you could look at being a curatour at an muesem of art#
musems have management role dat yhou can maybe get in to perhaps maybe idk

you cant start wokring in the caf if you want making coffee i done that once not in musem in asda

Reply 223

awkwardchild

How about a wedding planner? :smile:

Reply 224

Moosferatu

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

It isn't lazy to not be career focused. Why are you not getting that?

But it is nothing to do with you. So basically your point is "Because I have to do something unpleasant, you have to too!"..

That's pretty much the motto of the human experience.

Reply 225

River85

Original post by tehforum

So you get DSA?

I think you mean ESA (Employment and Support Allowance) or perhaps DLA (Disability Living Allowance)? DLA is not a work-related benefit.

DSA is Disabled Students Allowance, a non-repayable grant for students in higher education.

I believe this is where the confusion with Job Seekers Allowance began.

Original post by Biblio

no, get a supermarket job and job search whilst you work there dont be a scrounger

Not that the OP receives JSA (see above, I think you read DSA as JSA), but there isn't anything wrong with claiming Job Seekers Allowance if looking for a job, especially having made National Insurance contributions. If you pay into the system why not receive something from it?

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

That's why he's going to work full time and I'm not.

There's nothing wrong with you wanting to work part-time only, though it may be difficult supporting yourself and building a career early on (part-time or flexible working is more realistic later down the line). People on this thread seem to have the mistaken belief that part-time work is only for parents when this isn't the case. The ignorance and lack of understanding that some people, even young people, can have long-term limiting illness' is disheartening. That said, the way you phrased your post does make you sound like you want the best of both worlds with as little effort as possible, so people will make judgements.

I can't criticise. I just took a 20 hour a week contract instead of a 37 hour a week contract myself. This is because I have about 20 hours of voluntary work a week, important for getting a job in the charity sector, and a Zero Hours contract (which I'd like to continue balancing with the other job if possible). But even without the voluntary work I am concerned that a 37 hour week, especially in the role I've been offered, will be too much for my health.

But my concerns would be, and sorry for putting this thought into you head, that you may not always have a boyfriend to bump up the household income. Even if you do, establishing a career in incredibly competitive areas can be tough. You will be competing against people who can work full time and pay will not be good. You need to keep this in mind. But at least you've revised the 20k figure to 15k. 20k, for a three day working week, was never particularly realistic.

Now onto my suggestion, how would you feel about working as an Occupational Therapist? It can be a very creative profession and is very versatile. Depending on your own interests and abilities, and where you want to work, you may find yourself using art therapy/arts and crafts in sessions.

I just thought of this as you mentioned you would like a people focused role. I have no idea how you feel about working with people who have mental health problems or other health conditions/disabilities. Also it will require another degree, which can be quite intensive (classroom learning, self study and workplace placements), so might not be suitable.

Reply 226

awkwardchild

Original post by desdemonata

The thing is, your plan is basically relying on someone else for the things you don't want to do. What are you going to do if you aren't with someone who works full time? Your set of priorities only works in one situation, you shouldn't plan for your life to be that way, because then if you end up single you'll be screwed.

Also relying on someone else your whole life to do the ****ty stuff (working full time, doing a job they don't like) is basically never growing up and being a kid. It's not about being academic at all, it's about being a grown up. Grown ups work, earn their own money, pay their own bills, do things they don't want to do because they need to. They don't rely on someone else to make their life easy.

And I'm sorry, but you DO NOT need to have more of your week dedicated to free time than work to be able to look after a house, do the shopping and meet people. The weekend is more than enough. The only time you could feasibly argue you need plenty of free time is if you have very young children.

Darn, ran out of reps! Wish I could rep you for this! :smile:

Reply 227

River85

Original post by Biblio

ok, maybe you could look at being a curatour at an muesem of art#
musems have management role dat yhou can maybe get in to perhaps maybe idk

That will likely require a PhD, or at the very least a Masters degree, with a substantial commitment to museum work through voluntary experience. It isn't really people facing, at least not in large museums, where curators will spend their times doing research and other things rather than answering queries from the public and helping with exhibitions.

There are some entry level jobs which may be suitable working with events and exhibitions, and direct contact with the public, but not for 15k part-time. Visitor Assistant for example. Significant voluntary experience may be needed.

Reply 228

Machop

Original post by Occams Chainsaw

I think it's more fun to be a dreamer. I have always wanted to be an astronaut. I know the odds are slim to none but I'm going to go for it. One day, the harsh reality will probably hit me in that I don't have a chance but I'd rather be (overly) ambitious and risk failure and disappointment than live life assuming it's not possible or it's not worth the risk.

The fact is, it's only people like that who actually get in to those jobs. The people who are in 'the real world' mindset - no doubt the stereotype you might see in economics - will live perfectly average lives most of the time.

Sure, not every person aspiring to reach space will get there but they have a better chance than the guy who laughed at everybody who tried.

I think the OP is the exact opposite of ambitious or a dreamer, just naive.

Reply 229

User990473

Original post by Machop

I think the OP is the exact opposite of ambitious or a dreamer, just naive.

Reply 230

pane123

Original post by desdemonata

This is the best post I have read on TSR - well done. I must have given you rep recently so cannot do so again, but you deserve lots.

OP, the job you describe probably does not exist, other than in 12 year olds' imaginations.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 231

interact

Do whatever makes you happy and tell your boyfriend to marry you.

Reply 232

natninja

Become a stock photo model? (and do your own makeup :tongue:

- you could be the next 'woman laughing with salad' XD)

Reply 233

User990473

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

I don't expect him to do a job he's not interested in though? My boyfriend wants to work full time and wants to be a lawyer, it's not like I've said he has to? I don't get why people are saying I'm being unfair to him?

I can understand your point about it only works if I'm in a relationship

Don't you think you could be seen as mooching off of him a little bit and how that could be annoying for him later on in the relationship when he feels like he's doing most of the leg work? :redface:

Reply 234

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Occams Chainsaw

Don't you think you could be seen as mooching off of him a little bit and how that could be annoying for him later on in the relationship when he feels like he's doing most of the leg work? :redface:

He's fine with it though

Reply 235

User990473

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

He's fine with it though

That's why I said later on in the relationship. There'll come a point where he's stressed out because being in a city law firm with a 80-120 hour job isn't fun and at that point it's hard to wear your Frankie Says Relax t-shirt.
It's just something to look out for. He might end up envying you or feeling like you don't actually do anything :redface:

Reply 236

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Occams Chainsaw

I hope not, because we've spoken about it and so it would be a bit unfair and he isnt like that

Reply 237

User990473

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

I hope not, because we've spoken about it and so it would be a bit unfair and he isnt like that

Okay!

I didn't want to sound patronising but I figured it was worth thinking about! :smile:

Reply 238

A5ko

Suck it up and accept that you may have to get a job you don't want right now, unless you're happy sponging off of everyone else?

Reply 239

Quilt

Haven't read all posts so sorry if this is a repeat suggestion but you say you're very interested in makeup, I strongly recommend looking into getting a good quality camera, some volunteer models, a good set of makeup and working on YouTube videos. A lot of makeup artists get big from Youtube, Tanya Burr being an example (search her if you haven't heard of her!).

Start off with celeb inspired tutorials as they seem to be the most watched makeup videos from what I've seen. Also, maybe in addition to this see if you can get yourself a part-time job behind a beauty counter? Maybe a sales rep for a high-end company's stall (e.g the Mac stalls that you find in Boots etc, the colour matchers and advisers) as that provides you with experience, an income and professional skills.

Good luck!