Why do people bully others? [ABW2013]

What makes people harass and persecute others, both online and offline? Is it because they don't think their words and actions really are hurtful or serious? How do they rationalise it?

And if you've ever picked on someone before, what led you to do it, and how do you feel about it now?

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Reply 1

username47781

I think one of the reasons people bully, they have their own insecurities so maybe it makes them feel better to pick on others.

Reply 2

Viva Emptiness

Looking back on my school years I'm pretty sure my best friend and I bullied some of my 'friends'. I didn't realise at the time how it might have been hurtful, because I was genuinely doing it as a source of fun/humour, and because I actually liked the people I targeted, I didn't think there was any harm in it.

I do feel kind of bad about it now though - maybe a lot of bullies just don't realise how hurtful they are being.

Reply 3

sosadsosad

People bully because it gives them an ego boost to put somebody else down. Or, they just don't like the person :dontknow:

That's all it is, really.

Reply 4

xoxAngel_Kxox

Either because:

- They have their own insecurities and try to take attention of them by bullying others.
- They have been brought up thinking that such behaviour is normal (maybe domestic violence in the home, etc).
- They are jealous of the person they're bullying and therefore try to make their life difficult.
- They're trying to impress other bullies.

These are usually the reasons, to be honest.

Reply 5

Hellz_Bellz!

I remember as a kid seeing a show or film where the bully was once bullied themselves, and so they turned into a bully as a response to their past. I think some of the time this is true. But some bullies are just cruel. I do think some people can be pure evil and hurting weaker individuals fulfills some kind of weird desire of theirs.

Reply 6

Mankytoes

People enjoy a feeling of power over others, that's mainly it I think.

Reply 7

ForgetMe

Who doesn't like to feel superior? That's what bullies are aiming for.. to see others suffer. What's worse is that some of bullies don't even get in their heads that they are destroying someone's else life and leave scars forever. I don't believe they even feel sorry if someone else who has been bullied ends their life.

I never heard honest sorry from people who bullied me, I don't even believe they had a heart... Maybe I was only a toy to satisfy their creepy desires but oh well, they will become life's toys one day, that day is coming..

It's wrong, but I wish one day they will feel and see what it is like to be bullied..

Oh and being bullied at past and then becoming a bully is just another stupid excuse because, I mean, even though I was a bullying victim, I'm not however bullying others.. I saw violence in my family but I'm not doing the same and will not do in the future, so saying "Oh I bully others just because I was bullied in the past" is only an excuse :K:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 8

SoftPunch

Original post by Milostar

And if you've ever picked on someone before, what led you to do it, and how do you feel about it now?

Remember you can respond anonymously

Original post by Rock Fan

I think one of the reasons people bully, they have their own insecurities so maybe it makes them feel better to pick on others.

I agree with Rock Fan - that's a common theory.
My opinion is bullies are obsessed and want to dominate power and violence. Jealousy and envy can be also valid reasons.
Also, just looking at the bullies themselves can make one guess what their entire family is like. In most cases their parents are no better if they allow their kids to do this kind of stuff.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 9

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

I think some people want to tease about people's weaknesses. Some of them are trying to disguise their own ones by bullying.

Reply 10

Tiger Rag

Original post by Rock Fan

I think one of the reasons people bully, they have their own insecurities so maybe it makes them feel better to pick on others.

This is generally the impression I got when at school. There were people there who had "issues" and just bullied others to make themselves feel better.

I also found that people would bully others for being different - even if it was something stupidly minor.

Reply 11

SecretDuck

Bullies also act on their racist, sexist, homophobic...etc thoughts and mock those who are of a different race, gender, sexuality...etc. Had one racist bully in Year 6 who was mocking anyone who wasn't black.

Reply 12

Tiger Rag

Original post by SoftPunch

Also, just looking at the bullies themselves can make one guess what their entire family is like. In most cases their parents are no better if they allow their kids to do this kind of stuff.

Absolutely. One of the people who used to bully me, is in prison. At least another 2 have been in trouble for drug offences and stuff.

Reply 13

SoftPunch

Original post by OU Student

Absolutely. One of the people who used to bully me, is in prison. At least another 2 have been in trouble for drug offences and stuff.

Were you bullied really badly?

Reply 14

Tiger Rag

Original post by SoftPunch

Were you bullied really badly?

Yup.

I had various things (bags and stuff) ripped, pinched, etc. Teachers did nothing and then claimed they would do something if I came into school. I came into school and nothing was done. :mad:

It finally ended when for an unrelated reason, I moved tutor groups and didn't have to see the bullies again. (I wasn't in any of their classes) I was then bullied by others from the year below me from another tutor group. I have no idea what on earth that was about. I had no idea who these people are. :confused:

Unfortunately, they live on the same street as me and I'd have to walk the same way home as them, where the bullying continued. Yet again, it was reported to the school who did nothing. :mad:

Reply 15

SoftPunch

Original post by OU Student

Yup.

I had various things (bags and stuff) ripped, pinched, etc. Teachers did nothing and then claimed they would do something if I came into school. I came into school and nothing was done. :mad:

Unfortunately, they live on the same street as me and I'd have to walk the same way home as them, where the bullying continued. Yet again, it was reported to the school who did nothing. :mad:

Teachers are no help in most situations :yes:

It can be fun.

Original post by SoftPunch

Teachers are no help in most situations :yes:

Yeah, it took my primary school a year to get rid of two class bullies and the teachers didn't do that much about them :frown:

Reply 18

SoftPunch

Original post by SecretDuck

Yeah, it took my primary school a year to get rid of two class bullies and the teachers didn't do that much about them :frown:

Most teachers are weaklings - and then there are advices ''Talk to your teacher'' ...what's the point? :colonhash:

I miss the good old days when teachers could beat their students up with a cane :frown:

Reply 19

reapingunicorn32

When they're younger, sometimes, they've probably been raised in a rough area and take out their issues and problems out on others and take pleasure in hurting others to hide their pain. But sometimes, they may want to fit in so they feel better about themselves when they join in with the hard guys.

I don't agree with bullying but they are a couple of the reasons why people bully others (when young) but when you reach a certain age, you grow up and learn to deal with your issues in other ways.