The Student Room Group

Weird thing going on between me and a guy on my course

Over a week ago, I caught a guy looking at me a few times; it was this this made me notice him tbh, and I soon realised that I find him quite attractive. So, I started looking at him every time I saw him. So we were making eye contact quite a bit.

This week has been a bit strange though; I still find him attractive, so have been looking at him, however, I think he has stopped looking at me.

What can this mean?

I really do genuinely like him, and it would be nice to get to know him, but we have not spoken as yet, despite being on the same course because we are not in the same teaching groups. But, I don't want to be the first one to say something, being the girl.

Anyway, I'm confused by the lack of looking now.

Could it be that he has lost interest, or now spotted someone else? Or could it be that he is embarrassed, or thinks that he is not good enough for me looks wise (which I think is very untrue), or that I am a distraction to his work?

Note: I have been very distracted for a few days, just thinking about him.

Please can I have some tips on how to handle the situation as I genuinely like him. Should I be cold and make him want it more?

Scroll to see replies

what the ****

not sherrif srs

go talk to him

or if you want to be so edgy you could fall into him
I just wish girls could talk to us instead of waiting for us shy peeps to make a move:frown:
Reply 3
Avatar for Debonair W
Debonair W
3
This kind of thing happens to me all the time.

He sounds like he's probably quite shy, and he may have stopped looking at you because he thinks you will have noticed and feels a bit awkward. You don't have to say anything to him, but you could make it easier for him to approach you. Maybe you could try to sit near him in lectures; or when you're waiting outside a lecture theatre you could stand near him and smile at him; or you and a friend could sit next to him in a lecture (maybe ask your friend to just go and sit next to him, then you follow a minute or so later and sit next to her).
Or you could just bite the bullet and say Hi to him. It's not that hard after all, and the awkwardness only lasts for a second.
Original post by überambitious_ox
Over a week ago, I caught a guy looking at me a few times; it was this this made me notice him tbh, and I soon realised that I find him quite attractive. So, I started looking at him every time I saw him. So we were making eye contact quite a bit.

This week has been a bit strange though; I still find him attractive, so have been looking at him, however, I think he has stopped looking at me.

What can this mean?

I really do genuinely like him, and it would be nice to get to know him, but we have not spoken as yet, despite being on the same course because we are not in the same teaching groups. But, I don't want to be the first one to say something, being the girl.

Anyway, I'm confused by the lack of looking now.

Could it be that he has lost interest, or now spotted someone else? Or could it be that he is embarrassed, or thinks that he is not good enough for me looks wise (which I think is very untrue), or that I am a distraction to his work?

Note: I have been very distracted for a few days, just thinking about him.

Please can I have some tips on how to handle the situation as I genuinely like him. Should I be cold and make him want it more?

Maybe he stopped looking because you were looking at him and maybe he is thinking, "maybe she knows that I like her, I need to keep my head down" .
Just a suggestion. If you both feel the same and each other does not know, nothing will happen if you are both embarrassed and therefore someone will need to make the first move, even if it's just a Hello, my name is .....
Or if he asks a question in front of the class, pretend you didn't here it and politely ask him what he asked then maybe a conversation can occur.
I don't know, that's the best I can do :L
Original post by kidomo
I just wish girls could talk to us instead of waiting for us shy peeps to make a move:frown:

Agreed!
We are to P***y to make the first move haha
Reply 6
Avatar for bloke
bloke
He just may be thinks that you don't like him
All I can say as a guy, even the most confident of us won't always approach. Give the guy a sign, smile or grin. If he doesn't do anything then he's just too shy lol
Original post by bloke
He just may be thinks that you don't like him


But for what reason would he think this?
Original post by IntriguedUser
All I can say as a guy, even the most confident of us won't always approach. Give the guy a sign, smile or grin. If he doesn't do anything then he's just too shy lol


Thanks for the reply; I just feel like it would be too weird to give him a smile.

I would've thought he would've got the message that I like him too, after looking back at him.

And, just because he's the guy, I kinda want him to make the first move.
you scared him off!
Original post by propagation
Maybe he stopped looking because you were looking at him and maybe he is thinking, "maybe she knows that I like her, I need to keep my head down" .
Just a suggestion. If you both feel the same and each other does not know, nothing will happen if you are both embarrassed and therefore someone will need to make the first move, even if it's just a Hello, my name is .....
Or if he asks a question in front of the class, pretend you didn't here it and politely ask him what he asked then maybe a conversation can occur.
I don't know, that's the best I can do :L


Thank you for your reply; are guys really like that - they don't like too make it too obvious that they are into you?

Thanks for the suggestion, but just because I am the girl, I feel weird to make the first move.

I kinda hope we are forced to talk together at some point, but because we are not in the same teaching groups, we only see each other in lectures, and on the rare occasion in labs.
Reply 12
Avatar for Tom78
Tom78
18
Original post by überambitious_ox
Over a week ago, I caught a guy looking at me a few times; it was this this made me notice him tbh, and I soon realised that I find him quite attractive. So, I started looking at him every time I saw him. So we were making eye contact quite a bit.

This week has been a bit strange though; I still find him attractive, so have been looking at him, however, I think he has stopped looking at me.

What can this mean?

I really do genuinely like him, and it would be nice to get to know him, but we have not spoken as yet, despite being on the same course because we are not in the same teaching groups. But, I don't want to be the first one to say something, being the girl.

Anyway, I'm confused by the lack of looking now.

Could it be that he has lost interest, or now spotted someone else? Or could it be that he is embarrassed, or thinks that he is not good enough for me looks wise (which I think is very untrue), or that I am a distraction to his work?

Note: I have been very distracted for a few days, just thinking about him.

Please can I have some tips on how to handle the situation as I genuinely like him. Should I be cold and make him want it more?


Make a move homegal
Sounds like he's shy. Two options;

1) Make the first move.
2) Don't and forever wonder if he feels the same way.
Original post by überambitious_ox
Thank you for your reply; are guys really like that - they don't like too make it too obvious that they are into you?

Thanks for the suggestion, but just because I am the girl, I feel weird to make the first move.

I kinda hope we are forced to talk together at some point, but because we are not in the same teaching groups, we only see each other in lectures, and on the rare occasion in labs.

What about subject society?
or other societies, find out if he's in any and join it and make out you only recognise him and introduce yourself.

Yeah men/boys are like that haha, we expect the girls to make the first move haha. Well most of the friends I know and myself included do anyway.
Original post by Debonair W
This kind of thing happens to me all the time.

He sounds like he's probably quite shy, and he may have stopped looking at you because he thinks you will have noticed and feels a bit awkward. You don't have to say anything to him, but you could make it easier for him to approach you. Maybe you could try to sit near him in lectures; or when you're waiting outside a lecture theatre you could stand near him and smile at him; or you and a friend could sit next to him in a lecture (maybe ask your friend to just go and sit next to him, then you follow a minute or so later and sit next to her).
Or you could just bite the bullet and say Hi to him. It's not that hard after all, and the awkwardness only lasts for a second.


Thank you for your reply. He appears to be confident, but I guess maybe when it comes to girls, even the most confident become shy.

Is it normal for guys to feel awkward once they have realised that the girls have realised?

I am trying to sit close to him during lectures, and have done so a few times now :smile:

I don't feel like as the girl, I want to be the one to make the first move and say hi though.
Original post by überambitious_ox
I would've thought he would've got the message that I like him too, after looking back at him.


How is that any sort of message? You looked at the guy - I think in any boy's mind it's not clear whether you like him or not until you tell him
Original post by propagation
What about subject society?
or other societies, find out if he's in any and join it and make out you only recognise him and introduce yourself.

Yeah men/boys are like that haha, we expect the girls to make the first move haha. Well most of the friends I know and myself included do anyway.


Yeah I may try getting to know him via society events.

I honestly did not realised that. I always presumed that the guy makes the first move and that's just a given.

Do you suggest I go for the approach where we somehow start talking or should I go for the 'make him jealous' approach?
Original post by cant_think_of_name
How is that any sort of message? You looked at the guy - I think in any boy's mind it's not clear whether you like him or not until you tell him


When he looked at me several times, I looked back each of those times; not just on a one-off.

Is that not enough of a message?
Original post by überambitious_ox
Thank you for your reply; are guys really like that - they don't like too make it too obvious that they are into you?

Thanks for the suggestion, but just because I am the girl, I feel weird to make the first move.

I kinda hope we are forced to talk together at some point, but because we are not in the same teaching groups, we only see each other in lectures, and on the rare occasion in labs.


Of course we're really like that: nobody likes appearing to be the needier one. For anyone with any sort of self-awareness, it hurts their ego to have to make a bid or proposal for things, be they sex partners, job applications, clients ... they must prostrate themselves and say, "Here is what I have; will you accept?"

A heightened sensitivity to the pain of rejection is what's called "being shy", and it is likely to afflict both genders equally.

The difference is women have the "I'm a delicate emotional woman" excuse to console themselves with, while men are told to abnegate their emotions and just get on with it. Depending on his personality, defence mechanisms are either withdrawal from the negotiating space (shy, pseudo-asexual) or emotional dissociation from the situation (serial daters, pick-up artists, "creeps").

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you