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Weird thing going on between me and a guy on my course

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Original post by martin jol
you scared him off!


In what way could I have scared him off?
Original post by überambitious_ox
Yeah I may try getting to know him via society events.

I honestly did not realised that. I always presumed that the guy makes the first move and that's just a given.

Do you suggest I go for the approach where we somehow start talking or should I go for the 'make him jealous' approach?

"Make him jealous" approach, exactly what will that involve haha?
I think maybe if you introduce yourself, or better find out his name add him on Facebook and do it that way, make things less awkward.
Original post by scrotgrot
Of course we're really like that: nobody likes appearing to be the needier one. For anyone with any sort of self-awareness, it hurts their ego to have to make a bid or proposal for things, be they sex partners, job applications, clients ... they must prostrate themselves and say, "Here is what I have; will you accept?"

A heightened sensitivity to the pain of rejection is what's called "being shy", and it is likely to afflict both genders equally.

The difference is women have the "I'm a delicate emotional woman" excuse to console themselves with, while men are told to abnegate their emotions and just get on with it. Depending on his personality, defence mechanisms are either withdrawal from the negotiating space (shy, pseudo-asexual) or emotional dissociation from the situation (serial daters, pick-up artists, "creeps").


Okay, I guess I see what you are saying as not wanting to see too needy.

Thank you for making this clear. :smile:
Original post by propagation
"Make him jealous" approach, exactly what will that involve haha?
I think maybe if you introduce yourself, or better find out his name add him on Facebook and do it that way, make things less awkward.


LOL, I was thinking, maybe he would get jealous when seeing me talking to my guy friends, and having a laugh with them or just looking amazing at a social event.

I've found him on facebook, but I do not have enough confidence to add him; I wouldn't mind if he added me and we spoke through their.

I just hope that we introduce ourselves to each other somehow, like via friends or say if we literally bump into each other, rather than me having to go up to him and say hi (don't think I have the confidence for that).
Original post by Tom78
Make a move homegal


Thank you for your reply, but I feel like the guy should make the first move. Others have said that I a wrong in thinking this.
Reply 25
Avatar for Enoxial
Enoxial
16
Original post by überambitious_ox
Over a week ago, I caught a guy looking at me a few times; it was this this made me notice him tbh, and I soon realised that I find him quite attractive. So, I started looking at him every time I saw him. So we were making eye contact quite a bit.This week has been a bit strange though; I still find him attractive, so have been looking at him, however, I think he has stopped looking at me.What can this mean?I really do genuinely like him, and it would be nice to get to know him, but we have not spoken as yet, despite being on the same course because we are not in the same teaching groups. But, I don't want to be the first one to say something, being the girl.Anyway, I'm confused by the lack of looking now.Could it be that he has lost interest, or now spotted someone else? Or could it be that he is embarrassed, or thinks that he is not good enough for me looks wise (which I think is very untrue), or that I am a distraction to his work?Note: I have been very distracted for a few days, just thinking about him.Please can I have some tips on how to handle the situation as I genuinely like him. Should I be cold and make him want it more?
Hes playing with you.
Original post by Enoxial
Hes playing with you.


Do you think he is trying to mess with my head?

Or do you mean he is trying to make me want him more?
Reply 27
Avatar for matt_g96
matt_g96
10
He wants the V.
This reminds me SO MUCH of a similar position I was/am in (but I'm the guy in this scenario, I wouldn't know if she likes me but she's certainly caught me looking at her). I'll tell you what I did and why. When I knew that she had caught me looking, I tried really hard not to anymore (but still stole a glance here and there). Why? Well, I'm not a successful guy when it comes to women. I was pretty sure that she probably thought that it was creepy that I kept looking at her, and I didn't want to distress the poor girl by being her creepy stalker. Also, I clearly had no chance with her, so there was absolutely no way in hell I was going to approach her. And as for the whole "make him jealous" approach... Well, that only works with guys who thrive on competition from other men. I get even more downtrodden... So the day I saw her kissing another guy, I went from being 99% certain that she wouldn't be interested, to 100%.

In conclusion, my honest suggestion would be that if you really want something to happen... Tell him. If he's anything like me (which he might not be, I'm just giving you my perspective) then that'd be the only way in which something might happen
Reply 29
Avatar for matt_g96
matt_g96
10
Original post by Anonymous
This reminds me SO MUCH of a similar position I was/am in (but I'm the guy in this scenario, I wouldn't know if she likes me but she's certainly caught me looking at her). I'll tell you what I did and why. When I knew that she had caught me looking, I tried really hard not to anymore (but still stole a glance here and there). Why? Well, I'm not a successful guy when it comes to women. I was pretty sure that she probably thought that it was creepy that I kept looking at her, and I didn't want to distress the poor girl by being her creepy stalker. Also, I clearly had no chance with her, so there was absolutely no way in hell I was going to approach her. And as for the whole "make him jealous" approach... Well, that only works with guys who thrive on competition from other men. I get even more downtrodden... So the day I saw her kissing another guy, I went from being 99% certain that she wouldn't be interested, to 100%.


In conclusion, my honest suggestion would be that if you really want something to happen... Tell him. If he's anything like me (which he might not be, I'm just giving you my perspective) then that'd be the only way in which something might happen


What if you are the guy OP is talking about :eek:
Original post by matt_g96
He wants the V.


??
Reply 31
Avatar for Enoxial
Enoxial
16
Original post by überambitious_ox
Do you think he is trying to mess with my head?Or do you mean he is trying to make me want him more?
Hes trying to make you want him more-oldest trick in the book...
Dont try to stare at him for a few days and play his game :tongue:
Reply 32
Avatar for matt_g96
matt_g96
10
Original post by überambitious_ox
??


He wants to make love to you. Get it now?
Reply 33
Avatar for Enoxial
Enoxial
16
Original post by überambitious_ox
Do you think he is trying to mess with my head?Or do you mean he is trying to make me want him more?
There is still a possibility that hes shy...
Original post by Anonymous
This reminds me SO MUCH of a similar position I was/am in (but I'm the guy in this scenario, I wouldn't know if she likes me but she's certainly caught me looking at her). I'll tell you what I did and why. When I knew that she had caught me looking, I tried really hard not to anymore (but still stole a glance here and there). Why? Well, I'm not a successful guy when it comes to women. I was pretty sure that she probably thought that it was creepy that I kept looking at her, and I didn't want to distress the poor girl by being her creepy stalker. Also, I clearly had no chance with her, so there was absolutely no way in hell I was going to approach her. And as for the whole "make him jealous" approach... Well, that only works with guys who thrive on competition from other men. I get even more downtrodden... So the day I saw her kissing another guy, I went from being 99% certain that she wouldn't be interested, to 100%.

In conclusion, my honest suggestion would be that if you really want something to happen... Tell him. If he's anything like me (which he might not be, I'm just giving you my perspective) then that'd be the only way in which something might happen


Thank you very much for the message - I a now thinking from another perspective; perhaps he hasn't realised that I like him back and thinks that I think that he is a creep.

In my situation, looks wise, I would say that we are probably both on paar, but maybe he thinks that I am 'too good for him' - I am thinking this may also be the reason why he has stopped looking.

In all honesty though, I don't think I have the confidence to go up to him and say hi; I just hope that we are introduced to each other soon, somehow.
Original post by Enoxial
Hes trying to make you want him more-oldest trick in the book...
Dont try to stare at him for a few days and play his game :tongue:


I may just play his game back for a few days...then maybe he will get fed up and introduce himself.

If that doesn't work, I will try and bump into hi or something. haha
Original post by matt_g96
He wants to make love to you. Get it now?


I know that V stands for vagina, but I really don't think that is the case; if that was all he wanted, he could pick anyone he wanted.
Original post by Enoxial
There is still a possibility that hes shy...


Yeah, that's what I've heard from a lot of people on this thread, which was something that I did not realise, because he appears confident otherwise.
Reply 38
Avatar for matt_g96
matt_g96
10
Original post by überambitious_ox
I know that V stands for vagina, but I really don't think that is the case; if that was all he wanted, he could pick anyone he wanted.


Maybe you are really pretty :confused:. I don't know, ask him to hang out some time.
Original post by DannyYYYY
Sounds like he's shy. Two options;

1) Make the first move.
2) Don't and forever wonder if he feels the same way.


I wish I was confident to say hi, but not without introduction by a mutual friend, or by us bumping into each other or something.

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