The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

Overprotective mother

Anyone's else mother is like that? I've recently met a guy and we are planning on meeting up to get to know each other. I've told my mum and she's again being overprotective and says that she doesn't agree me seeing the guy because she thinks that I'll get in trouble as there are a lot of bad people around and that I will regret it later.

She's always been like that, I never went out with uni friends because she wouldn't agree with me going out or even spending a night somewhere else than home. That's why I went to meet up with guys in daytime and lied to my mum that I went for a walk. Once I kept meeting up with one guy and kept telling my mum that he's my friend and that I'm going to see him because my mp3 player broke down, that he could fix it.

My mum doesn't know that I've met with few guys because I would do that when she leaves for work and doesn't come back until evening. I feel like I'm living 2 lives. And I still do, I hide everything from my family because they don't know about me except my mum ( I had to tell her about myself because I just couldn't hold it anymore, it was killing me from inside).

I know I'm an adult but I wouldn't want to cut relationship with my mother because she's the only one that supports me :K: How to convince her that being overprotective is just ruining my life? That I will be single for the rest of my life if I'm not going to meet people. I don't even have friends (only few virtual ones) because I never left my house in my spare time.

I'm close to a point where I'm going to do something really bad because everything that I keep inside me and don't tell anyone, starts to kill me from inside :K: I already can't hold my emotions and when no one sees, I cry a lot...
Reply 1
Avatar for kunoichi
kunoichi
20
It says on your profile that you are 24. So maybe you should remind your mother that you are an adult, thank her for her caution and help and then just do what the hell you want?
Your mum sounds like she cares about you.
I guess you just have to see whether you feel her advice is sound or not.
But ultimately the decision is up to you, I suppose.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 3
Avatar for tflanjee
tflanjee
1
Just talk to her. Tell her that you're old enough now to make your own decisions and that you appreciate her concern but the exclusion of yourself from people your own age is probably more damaging to your health than the things she is trying to protect you from. Take it step by step and include her in your plans to limit possible "danger". Don't be embarrassed it's a part of life and by putting it off you're only making it harder and more awkward to talk about...
Have you considered maybe moving out? You're 24 after all. This isn't healthy. Mothers do sometimes have a tendency to cling on to their children - the whole fear of empty nest and all that, but this is a bit ridiculous at your age.
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
Have you considered maybe moving out? You're 24 after all. This isn't healthy. Mothers do sometimes have a tendency to cling on to their children - the whole fear of empty nest and all that, but this is a bit ridiculous at your age.

He doesn't live with his mother.
Reply 6
Avatar for User990473
User990473
Original post by keromedic
He doesn't live with his mother.


Then it's even worse!
Original post by Occams Chainsaw
Then it's even worse!

What's even worse? The situation?
I suppose it is. My gran for example, still manages to invade my life although we don't live together...
Reply 8
Avatar for User990473
User990473
Original post by keromedic
What's even worse? The situation?
I suppose it is. My gran for example, still manages to invade my life although we don't live together...


Exactly that. She shouldn't be able to invade your life like that!

Why did the OP feel the need to tell her that he is meeting one person in a month's time? :lolwut:
I don't even do that and I'm 18 and living at home! I might say with a few days to go but that's just so my mother - who I live with - knows where I am going for a day!

Otherwise, it's none of her business. You need some independence - both of you. Kero, you are under 18 so I understand that a little more but the OP is 24!
Original post by Occams Chainsaw
Exactly that. She shouldn't be able to invade your life like that!

Why did the OP feel the need to tell her that he is meeting one person in a month's time? :lolwut:
I don't even do that and I'm 18 and living at home! I might say with a few days to go but that's just so my mother - who I live with - knows where I am going for a day!

Otherwise, it's none of her business. You need some independence - both of you. Kero, you are under 18 so I understand that a little more but the OP is 24!

I'm not certain. I suppose I'd usually turn to my fb friends or the internet which isn't really healthy I guess. He turned to a familiar role model :dontknow:
Fair enough.
Oh, I am independent. My grandmother is just rather needy in her old age. So she keeps coming over and then if she discovers things in my appt, it can sometimes be potentially awkward :tongue:.
Reply 10
Avatar for User990473
User990473
Original post by keromedic
I'm not certain. I suppose I'd usually turn to my fb friends or the internet which isn't really healthy I guess. He turned to a familiar role model :dontknow:
Fair enough.
Oh, I am independent. My grandmother is just rather needy in her old age. So she keeps coming over and then if she discovers things in my appt, it can sometimes be potentially awkward :tongue:.


:awesome:
Original post by Occams Chainsaw
:awesome:

lol
Reply 12
Avatar for Miguel47
Miguel47
Your mom loves you. You will always be a little child for her.
I think you should sit down and discuss the situation with her. Don't hide your life from your mother. She does not deserve this.
Original post by Miguel47
Your mom loves you. You will always be a little child for her.
I think you should sit down and discuss the situation with her. Don't hide your life from your mother. She does not deserve this.

She does not deserve what?
But don't you get that that's where the problem lies? When the OP reveals aspects of his life to his mum, which he enjoys doing as they have a good relationship, she appears to display suffocating concern.
Original post by ForgetMe
...

OP, did you ever sort out the issue????
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 15
Avatar for ForgetMe
ForgetMe
OP
21
Original post by Occams Chainsaw
Exactly that. She shouldn't be able to invade your life like that!

Why did the OP feel the need to tell her that he is meeting one person in a month's time? :lolwut:
I don't even do that and I'm 18 and living at home! I might say with a few days to go but that's just so my mother - who I live with - knows where I am going for a day!

Otherwise, it's none of her business. You need some independence - both of you. Kero, you are under 18 so I understand that a little more but the OP is 24!


I told her because I don't really feel comfortable hiding stuff from her, especially when she was the only person who understood me, the one who was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on :smile:

Original post by keromedic
OP, did you ever sort out the issue????


I've decided not to tell certain things to her and hopefully she will never find them out :smile: However, you can easily guess from my face when I'm hiding something :mmm: Even at school, if I ran out of lessons or failed my exams, I've always told my mum and she was always supportive :h: She never yelled at me for running out of lessons :mmm:
Reply 16
Avatar for User990473
User990473
Original post by ForgetMe
I've decided not to tell certain things to her and hopefully she will never find them out :smile: However, you can easily guess from my face when I'm hiding something :mmm: Even at school, if I ran out of lessons or failed my exams, I've always told my mum and she was always supportive :h: She never yelled at me for running out of lessons :mmm:


You ran out of lessons? :lolwut:
Reply 17
Avatar for ForgetMe
ForgetMe
OP
21
Original post by Occams Chainsaw
You ran out of lessons? :lolwut:


I should have worded that in a different light :facepalm: What I meant is running away from lessons :mmm: And don't give me that face :hmmm:
Original post by ForgetMe
I should have worded that in a different light :facepalm: What I meant is running away from lessons :mmm: And don't give me that face :hmmm:

:lolwut:
Reply 19
Avatar for ForgetMe
ForgetMe
OP
21
Original post by keromedic
:lolwut:


Why would you revive old thread? :hmmm:

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you