Why do people bully others? [ABW2013]
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Original post by OU Student
Yup. 
I had various things (bags and stuff) ripped, pinched, etc. Teachers did nothing and then claimed they would do something if I came into school. I came into school and nothing was done.
It finally ended when for an unrelated reason, I moved tutor groups and didn't have to see the bullies again. (I wasn't in any of their classes) I was then bullied by others from the year below me from another tutor group. I have no idea what on earth that was about. I had no idea who these people are.
Unfortunately, they live on the same street as me and I'd have to walk the same way home as them, where the bullying continued. Yet again, it was reported to the school who did nothing.
I had various things (bags and stuff) ripped, pinched, etc. Teachers did nothing and then claimed they would do something if I came into school. I came into school and nothing was done.It finally ended when for an unrelated reason, I moved tutor groups and didn't have to see the bullies again. (I wasn't in any of their classes) I was then bullied by others from the year below me from another tutor group. I have no idea what on earth that was about. I had no idea who these people are.
Unfortunately, they live on the same street as me and I'd have to walk the same way home as them, where the bullying continued. Yet again, it was reported to the school who did nothing.What about the police? Or are they the same as in my country when if no injuries were made, they can't do anything about it?
Jealously of the victim therefore put them down as they are frustrated with there own life.
The person who bullied me non-stop throughout secondary school is now homeless. I've walked past him sleeping outside the train station on the way to work a few times. Maybe karma does exist.
Because they're cowardly and they think bullying will help them as they believe the victim will bow down too them.
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Make themselves feel better
I have made experienced in real life that people were bullied, because they were different. That is just a poor characteristic.
I think it's a naturally occurring social mechanism. Just as there are evolved psychological reasons why people are predisposed to be kind to each other, I think it's equally plausible that there are reasons why people are cruel. Bullying appears to me to be a method of asserting one's own (or one's group's own) superiority over another individual or group, analogically in the same way that one person might push another underwater to raise him- or herself out of it.
It's a method of establishing social hierarchy where there exists no external means for such a hierarchy to be determined. As such, it's driven by ego and the desire to be better than others (and to claim the benefits that come with that). In the absence of more humane or certain means to indicate superiority, it falls to brute measures to determine one's social status. This hypothesis would explain the common anecdotal observation that the most established popular people don't tend to participate as frequently in bullying, though I don't know the accuracy of that observation. The targets of bullying are also almost universally ones considered to be of lower social status (relative to the bullies in question).
The justifications are in my opinion usually weak or unknown. People don't know why they bully, even when they have an appreciation of the cruelty involved (e.g., they have experienced bullying themselves). Bertrand Russell relates an experience he had once when he observed a bully, to whom he expostulated and demanded he explain why he had done what he had done; the bully replied, "the bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair," which seems a typical attempt at a justification.
Obviously bullying is difficult to rationally justify, which is why I think we must confront the likelihood that it's simply enjoyable or instinctive to a great many children when placed in certain (common) social conditions, and therefore work to change the conditions that give rise to it, as opposed to acting under the assumption that it's a flaw in the bully's character for which the bully is ultimately responsible.
It's a method of establishing social hierarchy where there exists no external means for such a hierarchy to be determined. As such, it's driven by ego and the desire to be better than others (and to claim the benefits that come with that). In the absence of more humane or certain means to indicate superiority, it falls to brute measures to determine one's social status. This hypothesis would explain the common anecdotal observation that the most established popular people don't tend to participate as frequently in bullying, though I don't know the accuracy of that observation. The targets of bullying are also almost universally ones considered to be of lower social status (relative to the bullies in question).
The justifications are in my opinion usually weak or unknown. People don't know why they bully, even when they have an appreciation of the cruelty involved (e.g., they have experienced bullying themselves). Bertrand Russell relates an experience he had once when he observed a bully, to whom he expostulated and demanded he explain why he had done what he had done; the bully replied, "the bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair," which seems a typical attempt at a justification.
Obviously bullying is difficult to rationally justify, which is why I think we must confront the likelihood that it's simply enjoyable or instinctive to a great many children when placed in certain (common) social conditions, and therefore work to change the conditions that give rise to it, as opposed to acting under the assumption that it's a flaw in the bully's character for which the bully is ultimately responsible.
(edited 10 years ago)
To show who's boss.
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It can be a lot of things, the same way a lot of things can make you angry and frustrated and want to take it out on other people. It may be that they have a rough family situation, it could be that they're jealous, it could be that being mean to others is a coping mechanism, it could be that they feel helpless and want to feel in control and powerful for once...
I think in most cases, there is something pushing someone towards being a bully. Something that makes them angry and cruel. Sure, some people who are bullied or have a bad family situation use the knowledge of what's that like positively, so that they never do it to anyone else, but I think maturing like that and coming to terms with it takes some time. I think most people, at one point or another, try to turn something horrible on the inside into something on the outside, try to get rid of it by turning it onto other people, or lessening it by "sharing" it. I also think that when you're young, children have no idea how cruel they can be or what they are really doing.
If you think about it, if, at the end of the day, you're a happy kid, why would you feel the need to bully someone? There has to be something wrong somewhere to make you do that. Either you don't know any better, or you're trying to feel better.
I think in most cases, there is something pushing someone towards being a bully. Something that makes them angry and cruel. Sure, some people who are bullied or have a bad family situation use the knowledge of what's that like positively, so that they never do it to anyone else, but I think maturing like that and coming to terms with it takes some time. I think most people, at one point or another, try to turn something horrible on the inside into something on the outside, try to get rid of it by turning it onto other people, or lessening it by "sharing" it. I also think that when you're young, children have no idea how cruel they can be or what they are really doing.
If you think about it, if, at the end of the day, you're a happy kid, why would you feel the need to bully someone? There has to be something wrong somewhere to make you do that. Either you don't know any better, or you're trying to feel better.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
Either because:
- They have their own insecurities and try to take attention of them by bullying others.
- They have been brought up thinking that such behaviour is normal (maybe domestic violence in the home, etc).
- They are jealous of the person they're bullying and therefore try to make their life difficult.
- They're trying to impress other bullies.
These are usually the reasons, to be honest.
- They have their own insecurities and try to take attention of them by bullying others.
- They have been brought up thinking that such behaviour is normal (maybe domestic violence in the home, etc).
- They are jealous of the person they're bullying and therefore try to make their life difficult.
- They're trying to impress other bullies.
These are usually the reasons, to be honest.
This
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Honestly?
Bullies target those who look weak of lonely and seem unlikely to fight back if they were bullied.
Someone who is unique or maybe has something the bully doesn't have and the bully is jealous. Some people bully because they have problems at home or have issues which they wrongly take out on others.
It only adds fuel to the fire if the bully has friends and encourages it to happen.
I think sometimes when people are picking on someone and everyone seem like they are doing it, it's tempting for me not to join in. I was stupid as heck in the past but now I know picking on someone ,even just a little bit is wrong. Being in a crowd doesn't make it any better.
So I stay faaaar away from those kinds of people.
Bullies target those who look weak of lonely and seem unlikely to fight back if they were bullied.
Someone who is unique or maybe has something the bully doesn't have and the bully is jealous. Some people bully because they have problems at home or have issues which they wrongly take out on others.
It only adds fuel to the fire if the bully has friends and encourages it to happen.
I think sometimes when people are picking on someone and everyone seem like they are doing it, it's tempting for me not to join in. I was stupid as heck in the past but now I know picking on someone ,even just a little bit is wrong. Being in a crowd doesn't make it any better.
So I stay faaaar away from those kinds of people.
Original post by Hellz_Bellz!
But some bullies are just cruel. I do think some people can be pure evil and hurting weaker individuals fulfills some kind of weird desire of theirs.
Infantile. No significant portion of bullies operate on some simple sadism; it surely goes a bit deeper than that. 'Pure evil', for goodness sake. What does that even mean? 'Weird desire', perhaps, but 'pure evil' is a phrase that belongs in pantomime, not serious debate.
I have never EVER come anywhere close to being even mean to people let alone bully someone, I just don't have it in me.
In my experience people who do it often come from bad families - either abusive, or far too rich and spoilt so they think they can get away with everything and feel "better" than other people. In the end these are people who have loads of insecurities and lack something in life so they enjoy having the power over somebody else because it makes them feel better in their own skin. Some may not conform to any of these criteria but because their friends are bullies and feel they have to copy them in order to stay "in the game".
These are what the people who have bullied me throughout the years have generally been like.
It's said how so many children get traumatised for the whole of their lives and get bullied even as adults because of others whose families didn't bother to pay attention to their needs and problems.
In my experience people who do it often come from bad families - either abusive, or far too rich and spoilt so they think they can get away with everything and feel "better" than other people. In the end these are people who have loads of insecurities and lack something in life so they enjoy having the power over somebody else because it makes them feel better in their own skin. Some may not conform to any of these criteria but because their friends are bullies and feel they have to copy them in order to stay "in the game".
These are what the people who have bullied me throughout the years have generally been like.
It's said how so many children get traumatised for the whole of their lives and get bullied even as adults because of others whose families didn't bother to pay attention to their needs and problems.
some people just don't realise that their words can affect someone. For example, there's this girl in one of my classes who is so rude but doesn't see herself as rude and always thinks she's the victim. Also, some people do it to feel better about themselves which is horrible but i guess it does happen.
I've been bullied on and off until like year 10 when I just took the bullying as a sign to change myself, looking back at myself I wasnt exactly a fun person to be around but i was always so quiet because I was having problems at home.
I forced myself to be a more likable person, everyone i meet from school again can't beleive how much I've changed for the better.
Now this makes me think about some of the things I've said to people on tsr and irl which some people would think of as bullying but I'm actually just trying to help them in a really blunt way, it's how I became who I am today which I consider is a lit better than before
I forced myself to be a more likable person, everyone i meet from school again can't beleive how much I've changed for the better.
Now this makes me think about some of the things I've said to people on tsr and irl which some people would think of as bullying but I'm actually just trying to help them in a really blunt way, it's how I became who I am today which I consider is a lit better than before
Original post by tengentoppa
It can be fun.
Oh, especially when victims sometimes resort to suicide, huh?
Original post by SoftPunch
Oh, especially when victims sometimes resort to suicide, huh?
They should not be so weak.
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