Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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This post will likely hurt many. But it is absolutely the most important, valid post you are likely to absorb.
You will never be healed.
I said it. You will never be "recovered", you shall never be "completely better." A person cannot unknow the things they know. But that is absolutely a boon, not a problem. You will understand your mental stature is not the same anyone else - but that is not abnormal. Accept the things you are, the things you see, the things you endure. As you do, you mighr accept things about yourself you thought were incurable pains in your life.
You are so amazing, so important. But life can be so cruel, Face it head-on and battle, and you'll be incredible.
You will never be healed.
I said it. You will never be "recovered", you shall never be "completely better." A person cannot unknow the things they know. But that is absolutely a boon, not a problem. You will understand your mental stature is not the same anyone else - but that is not abnormal. Accept the things you are, the things you see, the things you endure. As you do, you mighr accept things about yourself you thought were incurable pains in your life.
You are so amazing, so important. But life can be so cruel, Face it head-on and battle, and you'll be incredible.
Original post by x-Disenchanted-x
Yup...dairy is a no-no but there's plenty of soya products about which are nicer tbh 
as for wheat, white pasta/bread affects me badly but slowly re-introducing wholemeal pitta bread and that seems to be fine so oats and pitta/wholegrain bread with lots of seeds and stuff seem to be good choices to add to meals
On another note, I have discovered that uni is my biggest trigger. Am hating doing the MA and took time out and have come so far in my recovery! But as soon as I went to hand in some work yesterday just being there made me cry/panic as I'm not happy there and want to be back in my job at retail where I am happier, less stressed and healthier.
I really don't know if it's worth continuing the course, have already got a 1st class degree behind me so an MA in Creative Writing hardly seems worth the stress, risk of relapse and damage to my health. I hate it so much, I get so cut off and had my worst ED/depression relapse ever last term.
Better just to leave it and be happy and healthy or stick it out til the autumn..? Anyone had this trouble with hating their course?
as for wheat, white pasta/bread affects me badly but slowly re-introducing wholemeal pitta bread and that seems to be fine so oats and pitta/wholegrain bread with lots of seeds and stuff seem to be good choices to add to meals On another note, I have discovered that uni is my biggest trigger. Am hating doing the MA and took time out and have come so far in my recovery! But as soon as I went to hand in some work yesterday just being there made me cry/panic as I'm not happy there and want to be back in my job at retail where I am happier, less stressed and healthier.
I really don't know if it's worth continuing the course, have already got a 1st class degree behind me so an MA in Creative Writing hardly seems worth the stress, risk of relapse and damage to my health. I hate it so much, I get so cut off and had my worst ED/depression relapse ever last term.
Better just to leave it and be happy and healthy or stick it out til the autumn..? Anyone had this trouble with hating their course?
Glad to know it's not just me. Bread and pasta seems to be fine but cheese bloats me (no pain though). Now it seems I can't eat beef! I went for a burger the other day and almost threw up in the middle of the pub.
I totally relate to the university thing. I just had exams and deadlines last week/beginning of this week. I ended up having a panic attack mid-exam and everything I ate set my IBS flaring. I don't like studying (my course is fine except during oral lessons because I have to socially interact on the spot). It stresses me out and makes my depression worse. My only advice is to do what makes you happy, honey. x
Original post by jazzykinks
Glad to know it's not just me. Bread and pasta seems to be fine but cheese bloats me (no pain though). Now it seems I can't eat beef! I went for a burger the other day and almost threw up in the middle of the pub.
I totally relate to the university thing. I just had exams and deadlines last week/beginning of this week. I ended up having a panic attack mid-exam and everything I ate set my IBS flaring. I don't like studying (my course is fine except during oral lessons because I have to socially interact on the spot). It stresses me out and makes my depression worse. My only advice is to do what makes you happy, honey. x
I totally relate to the university thing. I just had exams and deadlines last week/beginning of this week. I ended up having a panic attack mid-exam and everything I ate set my IBS flaring. I don't like studying (my course is fine except during oral lessons because I have to socially interact on the spot). It stresses me out and makes my depression worse. My only advice is to do what makes you happy, honey. x
This. Dissy, if the MA is making you poorly, then quit. It's not worth wrecking your mental health for a bit of paper that says you know stuff.
Thanks for the advice guys I'm going to go back for a few weeks and if things start going downhill maybe I'll focus on recovery and return at a later date instead. I honestly don't want to go back to the hell of restricting again, I feel almost like I'm "waking up" if that makes sense, like I'm finally starting to live rather than just exist in a starving, zombie-like state. Even things like spending time with my little brother used to be so exhausting, I've got this taste of there being more to life and I'm starting to really love it (when it's not a bad day, but I'm having mostly good days at the moment! Returning to uni will be the test to see how well I can cope).
Cheers again x
I'm going to go back for a few weeks and if things start going downhill maybe I'll focus on recovery and return at a later date instead. I honestly don't want to go back to the hell of restricting again, I feel almost like I'm "waking up" if that makes sense, like I'm finally starting to live rather than just exist in a starving, zombie-like state. Even things like spending time with my little brother used to be so exhausting, I've got this taste of there being more to life and I'm starting to really love it (when it's not a bad day, but I'm having mostly good days at the moment! Returning to uni will be the test to see how well I can cope).Cheers again
x
Original post by x-Disenchanted-x
x
The uni thing kind of depends on what your home life is like. If you have a supportive or even just comfortable environment at home then of course that is the best place for you to start your recovery, as it will be so tough in that first year.
For me, uni can be a very triggering place if you're in a fragile state of mind. Actually experiencing what uni has to offer and not just surviving it requires you to be mentally and physically stable and there's no harm in taking a year out. It did me a world of good.
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I guess I'm as 'recovered' as possible now - I know I'll never be anorexic again and knowing that for sure and not feeling worried is such a great thing. Instead of a viable coping mechanism it feels like the exact opposite - something that would make me unable to have the strength to cope with anything that is thrown my way.
The house-mates diets aren't really worrying me as I'm confident enough in myself to ignore it.. but I am taking 2 modules next semester about nutrition/metabolism.. one of which will require us to find out each others body fat %, BMI and other related measurements, and another requiring us to keep a food diary and analyse our intake (which will apparently be checked and criticized by a nutritionist). I think i'm going to be pretty self concious about it because the only person in my class that actually knows about my disorder is going to be there too and he'll be able to tell if i'm getting panicky about it. I have to keep in mind that I don't have a big signpost on my forehead that says 'LOOK I'M REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS. I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AN EATING DISORDER 2 YEARS AGO' and that everyone is more concerned with themselves.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Cinnie
The uni thing kind of depends on what your home life is like. If you have a supportive or even just comfortable environment at home then of course that is the best place for you to start your recovery, as it will be so tough in that first year.
For me, uni can be a very triggering place if you're in a fragile state of mind. Actually experiencing what uni has to offer and not just surviving it requires you to be mentally and physically stable and there's no harm in taking a year out. It did me a world of good.
----------
I guess I'm as 'recovered' as possible now - I know I'll never be anorexic again and knowing that for sure and not feeling worried is such a great thing. Instead of a viable coping mechanism it feels like the exact opposite - something that would make me unable to have the strength to cope with anything that is thrown my way.
The house-mates diets aren't really worrying me as I'm confident enough in myself to ignore it.. but I am taking 2 modules next semester about nutrition/metabolism.. one of which will require us to find out each others body fat %, BMI and other related measurements, and another requiring us to keep a food diary and analyse our intake (which will apparently be checked and criticized by a nutritionist). I think i'm going to be pretty self concious about it because the only person in my class that actually knows about my disorder is going to be there too and he'll be able to tell if i'm getting panicky about it. I have to keep in mind that I don't have a big signpost on my forehead that says 'LOOK I'M REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS. I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AN EATING DISORDER 2 YEARS AGO' and that everyone is more concerned with themselves.
For me, uni can be a very triggering place if you're in a fragile state of mind. Actually experiencing what uni has to offer and not just surviving it requires you to be mentally and physically stable and there's no harm in taking a year out. It did me a world of good.
----------
I guess I'm as 'recovered' as possible now - I know I'll never be anorexic again and knowing that for sure and not feeling worried is such a great thing. Instead of a viable coping mechanism it feels like the exact opposite - something that would make me unable to have the strength to cope with anything that is thrown my way.
The house-mates diets aren't really worrying me as I'm confident enough in myself to ignore it.. but I am taking 2 modules next semester about nutrition/metabolism.. one of which will require us to find out each others body fat %, BMI and other related measurements, and another requiring us to keep a food diary and analyse our intake (which will apparently be checked and criticized by a nutritionist). I think i'm going to be pretty self concious about it because the only person in my class that actually knows about my disorder is going to be there too and he'll be able to tell if i'm getting panicky about it. I have to keep in mind that I don't have a big signpost on my forehead that says 'LOOK I'M REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS. I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AN EATING DISORDER 2 YEARS AGO' and that everyone is more concerned with themselves.
Cinnie, could you speak to the academic that runs that module to see if there's like, a different assessment you could do?
Original post by Anonymous
Cinnie, could you speak to the academic that runs that module to see if there's like, a different assessment you could do?
The other module is something I really don't want to do and have no interest in.. and besides I think I would do really well in the nutrition module seeing as I took a look at last years exam paper and could answer all the questions already. I guess that's why people with ED's are more likely to choose nutrition/food/psychology degrees.
I think it would probably be OK if I say that I will not be weighed/measured in the lab classes.. and I guess i'll just lie in my food diary so that I don't have to criticize my actual intake. Maybe =/
anyone else have SED? I've had it since I was a child, I was born early and ill as a baby, and used to constantly vomit, which put me off food. I also suffer from severe anxiety, which means I don't want to eat because of how anxious I feel. Just wondering if anyone else goes through this
I got the news today that i've been lucky enough to be offered my dream job on the island of Santorini, Greece, for the Summer. I just wanted to share this piece of good news that is really pushing me to stay on the road to 'recovery'.
Spoiler
I have an ECG to assess my heart function tomorrow. Just wondering if anyone has been unfortunate enough to find their heart has in fact got weaker through restricted eating and what the consequences were? I understand that it is routine, but just wanted to ask. Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
x
Non-eating disorder behaviour is to eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full and be aware to get a balance of different foods to stay healthy... It really depends on if you are only having half in order to eat fewer calories, or you're only eating half because it's a 2 person portion. My guess is the former. It's not normal to only eat half of a meal, no.. but you already know that
(and yes, I used to do this when I was in the grip of an ED). xxCongratulations about the job by the way x
Original post by teva1993
I have an ECG to assess my heart function tomorrow. Just wondering if anyone has been unfortunate enough to find their heart has in fact got weaker through restricted eating and what the consequences were? I understand that it is routine, but just wanted to ask. Thanks
Hiya
I don't want to scare you but it's common for the heart to get weaker in someone with a restrictive eating disorder. The heart is a muscle, and when the body requires energy (that should be coming from food), the body will have no choice but to degrade muscle, including the heart. Personally my blood pressure and circulation took a massive hit but the heart rhythms didn't become abnormal. Once the body is supplied with enough calorie intake to start healing, it often does a very good job in replenishing the damage done xxx^ stupid auto-anon
Original post by Cinnie
The other module is something I really don't want to do and have no interest in.. and besides I think I would do really well in the nutrition module seeing as I took a look at last years exam paper and could answer all the questions already. I guess that's why people with ED's are more likely to choose nutrition/food/psychology degrees.
I think it would probably be OK if I say that I will not be weighed/measured in the lab classes.. and I guess i'll just lie in my food diary so that I don't have to criticize my actual intake. Maybe =/
I think it would probably be OK if I say that I will not be weighed/measured in the lab classes.. and I guess i'll just lie in my food diary so that I don't have to criticize my actual intake. Maybe =/
I went through something similar when I had an ED and was doing GCSE Biology but the staff were aware of my condition and allowed me not to measure myself and just gave me some made up stats anyway to complete the experiment. I know it may be harder to do this at a higher level but trust me, talk to your module teacher and perhaps your head of college. They will work around it. My lecturers have done so much to accommodate my depression and insomnia, to the point of letting me come out of hours to see them about any queries and stuff. Just talk. Most universities are great about stuff like this
Prescribed Lansoprazole this morning; is/has anybody else taken it before? Do you get any bad side effects?
Original post by Anonymous
Prescribed Lansoprazole this morning; is/has anybody else taken it before? Do you get any bad side effects?
My boyfriend has that, and theres no side effects, its just a indigestion tablet...
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In 3 days I'm having a 'talk' with my girlfriend, who over the last week has, for whatever reason, grown distant from me.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt for exam season, which I really want her to do well in. But on the day after exams, when she was at home, I asked if she wanted to come around to mine for us to chill. She said no thanks, it's a bit cold. She lives 10 minutes away, and we haven't had a date in a month.
She's been ignoring my texts and Facebook messages. She said she didn't see them, but it shows when you've seen them on Facebook of course. And she ignored my message, but sent her guy friend (the dreaded 'Superman' that I've been wayyy too suspicious of) a link on his Wall instead.
For the record whenever she's mentioned him I've just asked her how he is, nothing more. Trying not to let jealousy consume me!
I expect her to be calling it a day this Monday. She's my first love and it hurts like a ton of bricks on the heart, especially because it was apparently out of nowhere. Although the warning signs have been there since November.
Don't really know what the best approach is for the next few days, the 'talk' and the aftermath.
I hope everybody's staying strong here
I gave her the benefit of the doubt for exam season, which I really want her to do well in. But on the day after exams, when she was at home, I asked if she wanted to come around to mine for us to chill. She said no thanks, it's a bit cold. She lives 10 minutes away, and we haven't had a date in a month.
She's been ignoring my texts and Facebook messages. She said she didn't see them, but it shows when you've seen them on Facebook of course. And she ignored my message, but sent her guy friend (the dreaded 'Superman' that I've been wayyy too suspicious of) a link on his Wall instead.
For the record whenever she's mentioned him I've just asked her how he is, nothing more. Trying not to let jealousy consume me!
I expect her to be calling it a day this Monday. She's my first love and it hurts like a ton of bricks on the heart, especially because it was apparently out of nowhere. Although the warning signs have been there since November.
Don't really know what the best approach is for the next few days, the 'talk' and the aftermath.
I hope everybody's staying strong here
body checking. bane of my ****ing life at the moment.
Exmas make everything worse.
Exmas make everything worse.
Hi guys I'm running for VP Welfare and Community at Exeter Uni. I was wondering how helpful you guys would find an ED group at your uni? If I win, it's one of my ideas for next year. No doctors or psychotherapists, just sufferers and recovery people to help one another. No judgement and no authorities, just experiences, advice and support. Good idea?
I'm running for VP Welfare and Community at Exeter Uni. I was wondering how helpful you guys would find an ED group at your uni? If I win, it's one of my ideas for next year. No doctors or psychotherapists, just sufferers and recovery people to help one another. No judgement and no authorities, just experiences, advice and support. Good idea?Original post by jazzykinks
Hi guys I'm running for VP Welfare and Community at Exeter Uni. I was wondering how helpful you guys would find an ED group at your uni? If I win, it's one of my ideas for next year. No doctors or psychotherapists, just sufferers and recovery people to help one another. No judgement and no authorities, just experiences, advice and support. Good idea?
I'm running for VP Welfare and Community at Exeter Uni. I was wondering how helpful you guys would find an ED group at your uni? If I win, it's one of my ideas for next year. No doctors or psychotherapists, just sufferers and recovery people to help one another. No judgement and no authorities, just experiences, advice and support. Good idea?I think this is a really good idea. I have an ED group at uni but you've got to be referred by therapists and I don't want to get involved with things like that. Best of luck, jazzykinks!
