Boyfriend

So, I wake up in the middle of the night, can't get back to sleep.
Go on my boyfriend's phone and see that his ex-bf is snapchatting him, and that he sent a snapchat to his ex-bf a while ago (about 6 days).
I shrug it off. Up until about a month in, he used to talk to his bf (not often, just once every week or so...) He said that they didn't end on bad terms, I explained that I wasn't comfortable with that and he said, "that's fine, I'll stop talking to him."
So, I look at his call history and about 10 minutes before he sent the snapchat to him, he facetimed him but it was cancelled.
He wakes up, sees I've been on his phone and starts moaning, get's in a huge piss, doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day, until I say, "Hold on, you ****ing idiot, you're the one snapchatting your ****ing ex boyfriend and facetiming him, and going on hot or not (some ****e app, where you rate how hot guys are)."
His ex-bf is at Plymouth, we're in Bristol. I have no idea why he feels the need to snapchat him, he could easily just forget about him and move on.
He also runs a tumblr, one about fashion, one about porn.
He pretends to be a black guy on there and reposts loads of pictures of black men (I'm white ... which is just confusing).
It's completely anonymous but recently he made a kik and posted his kik username on this tumblr and asked for nudes (he has about 700 followers).
There are a few white guys on there, but it's majority black by about 8:1. The problem I have is the messages he has on his tumblr, they're all sex related obviously, talking about sex and this and that. He has a boyfriend... Why would he need to go on a ****ing tumblr to satiate his desires/needs? His excuse is that he's going to convert it to a fashion blog once enough people follow, which just sounds like BS.
I'm growing more and more concerned.
A few weeks ago he installed BBM, there was one message on there and only one, from a black guy saying "Hey Cutie." or something like that...
He said, "Oh, I posted my BBM on twitter, then deleted it about 3 hours later, he must be the only one that saw..." He's a very popular guy and I don't think the only person that would notice is some American guy called ****ing Jerome or something...
He seems to think the tumblr thing is fine.
What do I do? :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

So, I wake up in the middle of the night, can't get back to sleep.
So, I look at his call history and about 10 minutes before he sent the snapchat to him, he facetimed him but it was cancelled.

I asked him about it and he was like, "I don't remember what it was" Then about 10 minutes later said, "I was in my friend's car and I accidently facetimed him then snapchatted him saying it was an accident!"

Reply 2

Aku-gila

Dump him. He has a thing for black men and won't be satisfied otherwise.

Plus the whole deal with the ex was just shifty.

Reply 3

FlavaFavourFruit

Oh gosh that's too much for someone to handle...just dump him....he's not gonna change.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by FlavaFavourFruit

Oh gosh that's too much for someone to handle...just dump him....he's not gonna change.

I don't want to dump him though! It's horrible. Why don't you think he'll change?

Reply 5

FlavaFavourFruit

Original post by Anonymous

I don't want to dump him though! It's horrible. Why don't you think he'll change?

If you don't want to dump him, then suit yourself but expect the worse because he knows that what he's doing is not a deal breaker for you.
So he'll continue.

Reply 6

tonberry

This sounds horrific, dump him man

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by tonberry

This sounds horrific, dump him man

Does it sounds THAT horrific? He's sometimes really reasonable about it. Like I said, when I asked him to stop speaking to his ex, he was like "That's fine..."
Also, it wasn't his personal Kik that he was asking for nudes for, it was the Kik associated with that stupid tumblr thing...

Reply 8

tonberry

Original post by Anonymous

Well firstly, he probably just found a way to hide the chatting to his ex from you. Secondly, you're trying to do hard to justify his actions because it's hard to accept. You know it's true!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by tonberry

Well firstly, he probably just found a way to hide the chatting to his ex from you. Secondly, you're trying to do hard to justify his actions because it's hard to accept. You know it's true!

I don't think he's chatting to his ex. I looked everywhere on his phone. I checked call history and he isn't in there. There's no recent chat history on FB, it's all from last year, etc... He doesn't try to hide things from me and never goes on my phone.

Reply 10

stargirl63

The fact that you are posting this thread shows you are uncomfortable with what he is doing. So you either stop making excuses for the same things you are asking about and confront him, or you just continue in this relationship where there's so many other guys flirting with him, he eggs it on by putting his usernames everywhere and you checking his phone. As someone in a committed relationship it sounds like he wants attention from other places, and you need to know why

Reply 11

Musie Suzie

Why did you go on his phone and look through his messages in the first place? Did you already have suspicions?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

User1214833

You sound as bad as each other tbh.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Musie Suzie

Why did you go on his phone and look through his messages in the first place? Did you already have suspicions?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yes. He's always on it, even around me. I've always been suspicious since I saw a text from his ex-boyfriend.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by qwertyking

You sound as bad as each other tbh.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Why? What can I do?

Reply 15

User1214833

Original post by Anonymous

Why? What can I do?

Sorry, I was in a bad mood when I wrote that; I just meant you shouldn't really have looked at his phone, but there's obviously no justification for what he's doing. I think you should make a clean break - you deserve more than that.