Why can't I give my FRIENDS a love letter?
I wish to give my two beautiful and special friends a PLATONIC love letter for our one year anniversary, I don't see anything wrong with it, I'm just telling them how much I love them I am to have them in m and how much they mean to me and how grateful to have them in my life... Meetign them saved me from intense sadness and fries I was having at the time, they brought me into the light...
But my family and friends think it's a bad idea, they don't understand why I make a big fuss over them... As I've said before I have intense love for the both of them, I can't explain it, I just love them so much... I wouldn't know what to do if I lost them... If I did I would be emotionally dead, I don't think I would ever smile or laugh or be happy... I know that I am most likely attached to them or I have emotionally imprinted myself on to them... They all fuzzy whe just make me so happy... I get all fuzzy and warm when I think of them... I always tell them I love them when I can.
Back to my family... They find it strange that I tell them that I love them just becuase of their age, one is 16, the other is 15 and I am 20, I met them only becuase they were doing work experience at my college. What's their point? They're my FRIENDS why can't I tell them that I love them?! Age shouldn't matter unless it's is an issue...
Do you think it's weird that I want to make a love letter for them?
But my family and friends think it's a bad idea, they don't understand why I make a big fuss over them... As I've said before I have intense love for the both of them, I can't explain it, I just love them so much... I wouldn't know what to do if I lost them... If I did I would be emotionally dead, I don't think I would ever smile or laugh or be happy... I know that I am most likely attached to them or I have emotionally imprinted myself on to them... They all fuzzy whe just make me so happy... I get all fuzzy and warm when I think of them... I always tell them I love them when I can.
Back to my family... They find it strange that I tell them that I love them just becuase of their age, one is 16, the other is 15 and I am 20, I met them only becuase they were doing work experience at my college. What's their point? They're my FRIENDS why can't I tell them that I love them?! Age shouldn't matter unless it's is an issue...
Do you think it's weird that I want to make a love letter for them?
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It probably just shows that you're too attached to your friends. Its nothing major, but it could be a little weird...
If one of my male friends gives me a love letter I'll probably fight him. If a female friend gave me a love letter I wouldn't find it THAT weird but would be abit suspicious.
I think that "love letters" and "presents" are all meaningless... You have to actually be there when your friends in trouble and needs someone to help him out.
If you want to actually do something now then next time you chill with em just tell them that their your boys / girls or whatever. But I wouldn't recommend writing a letter, that's just bad.
If one of my male friends gives me a love letter I'll probably fight him. If a female friend gave me a love letter I wouldn't find it THAT weird but would be abit suspicious.
I think that "love letters" and "presents" are all meaningless... You have to actually be there when your friends in trouble and needs someone to help him out.
If you want to actually do something now then next time you chill with em just tell them that their your boys / girls or whatever. But I wouldn't recommend writing a letter, that's just bad.
I think that's a lovely idea, I wish I had a friend who felt so strongly about me. At the end of the day that's how you feel about your friends so ignore those stupid phrases like 'clingy' or 'too attached'. It's very sad that we are encouraged to bottle up our emotions these days and hide how much we actually value certain people in our lives; I've realised its actually pretty cold and unnatural. I saw a thread earlier about a guy who felt his girlfriend was distancing herself away from him because she's been refusing to speak to him since exam season started. He said he was only texting her once a day, to see how she was doing. She never acted enthusiastically towards him, or even entertained a few minutes of proper conversation. To her own boyfriend. This was hurting him. Then TSR started bombarding him about how 'clingy' he is being, and how she's probably 'too stressed about exams' to chat. For even a few minutes a week? Is her head in her book 24/7? Please. I felt really sorry for the guy.
Anyway, I didn't want to derail but I was just illustrating my point. Feelings and their expression are seen more and more as a sign of creepiness, weakness and 'clinginess' these days, and I find it really sad. It sounds like your friends have really been instrumental in lifting you up. If they truly are good friends, they will appreciate you expressing such a strong attachment to them, I say write that letter if you want to. **** this stupid social contract that the tyranny of public opinion is enforcing upon us all these days. Act naturally I say
Anyway, I didn't want to derail but I was just illustrating my point. Feelings and their expression are seen more and more as a sign of creepiness, weakness and 'clinginess' these days, and I find it really sad. It sounds like your friends have really been instrumental in lifting you up. If they truly are good friends, they will appreciate you expressing such a strong attachment to them, I say write that letter if you want to. **** this stupid social contract that the tyranny of public opinion is enforcing upon us all these days. Act naturally I say
Original post by 0xygen
It probably just shows that you're too attached to your friends. Its nothing major, but it could be a little weird...
If one of my male friends gives me a love letter I'll probably fight him. If a female friend gave me a love letter I wouldn't find it THAT weird but would be abit suspicious.
I think that "love letters" and "presents" are all meaningless... You have to actually be there when your friends in trouble and needs someone to help him out.
If you want to actually do something now then next time you chill with em just tell them that their your boys / girls or whatever. But I wouldn't recommend writing a letter, that's just bad.
If one of my male friends gives me a love letter I'll probably fight him. If a female friend gave me a love letter I wouldn't find it THAT weird but would be abit suspicious.
I think that "love letters" and "presents" are all meaningless... You have to actually be there when your friends in trouble and needs someone to help him out.
If you want to actually do something now then next time you chill with em just tell them that their your boys / girls or whatever. But I wouldn't recommend writing a letter, that's just bad.
Why would you fight your friend, he's just showing you how much you mean to him...
Maybe a card with a cute/funny picture with just a few lines thanking them for their friendship and highlighting a couple of good memories?
I'd be really touched if I got that sort of thing from a friend, and I'd definitely consider giving it, but I think to write a (presumably) rather long letter with the sole purpose of highlighting your friendship is a little bit odd.
I'd be really touched if I got that sort of thing from a friend, and I'd definitely consider giving it, but I think to write a (presumably) rather long letter with the sole purpose of highlighting your friendship is a little bit odd.
Are you feeling ok... ?
Original post by Katie_p
Maybe a card with a cute/funny picture with just a few lines thanking them for their friendship and highlighting a couple of good memories?
I'd be really touched if I got that sort of thing from a friend, and I'd definitely consider giving it, but I think to write a (presumably) rather long letter with the sole purpose of highlighting your friendship is a little bit odd.
I'd be really touched if I got that sort of thing from a friend, and I'd definitely consider giving it, but I think to write a (presumably) rather long letter with the sole purpose of highlighting your friendship is a little bit odd.
Yes, this would be more appropriate. Are you feeling lonely OP?
I've known girls to do that before. But be sure your friendship really is that close, it might be a bit weird if they don't perceive you as being quite that close or important to them. I have some younger friends myself, well they're all 18-19 now and I'm 22 but when I was younger it did seem a bit weird. I would contend that if they're that age they'll appreciate a "love letter" more and not be weirded out by it.
Whoops I just realised you're a guy, I'm guessing you're a sensitive soul though and before you do this, in addition to the above, you should be sure they know you know they know you don't want them for a relationship. That is, your relationship is close but markedly platonic, so that you fulfil the same role as their female friends. You may have slept in bed together, stayed up all night chatting etc etc.
If you feel you don't make the cut you can always express your love in person or via text or email or phone, all of which seem less momentous because they are more transient, less permanent communication types than a letter which has physical reality, takes a special effort to write and endures.
As a final hedge I would also say don't go on too long writing pages and pages, just a short unequivocal message and then they will probably bring it up in person and you can express yourself more fully.
Whoops I just realised you're a guy, I'm guessing you're a sensitive soul though and before you do this, in addition to the above, you should be sure they know you know they know you don't want them for a relationship. That is, your relationship is close but markedly platonic, so that you fulfil the same role as their female friends. You may have slept in bed together, stayed up all night chatting etc etc.
If you feel you don't make the cut you can always express your love in person or via text or email or phone, all of which seem less momentous because they are more transient, less permanent communication types than a letter which has physical reality, takes a special effort to write and endures.
As a final hedge I would also say don't go on too long writing pages and pages, just a short unequivocal message and then they will probably bring it up in person and you can express yourself more fully.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Al-Mudaari
Are you feeling ok... ?
I'm fine, why do you ask?
Original post by Katie_p
Maybe a card with a cute/funny picture with just a few lines thanking them for their friendship and highlighting a couple of good memories?
I'd be really touched if I got that sort of thing from a friend, and I'd definitely consider giving it, but I think to write a (presumably) rather long letter with the sole purpose of highlighting your friendship is a little bit odd.
I'd be really touched if I got that sort of thing from a friend, and I'd definitely consider giving it, but I think to write a (presumably) rather long letter with the sole purpose of highlighting your friendship is a little bit odd.
I'm also thinking of giving them a card too. People give love letters to their partners, why is it weird for me to do it to friends?
If one of my male friends wrote me a love letter.. Friendships will be lost.
Original post by scrotgrot
I've known girls to do that before. But be sure your friendship really is that close, it might be a bit weird if they don't perceive you as being quite that close or important to them. I have some younger friends myself, well they're all 18-19 now and I'm 22 but when I was younger it did seem a bit weird. I would contend that if they're that age they'll appreciate a "love letter" more and not be weirded out by it.
Whoops I just realised you're a guy, I'm guessing you're a sensitive soul though and before you do this, in addition to the above, you should be sure they know you know they know you don't want them for a relationship. That is, your relationship is close but markedly platonic, so that you fulfil the same role as their female friends. You may have slept in bed together, stayed up all night chatting etc etc.
If you feel you don't make the cut you can always express your love in person or via text or email or phone, all of which seem less momentous because they are more transient, less permanent communication types than a letter which has physical reality, takes a special effort to write and endures.
As a final hedge I would also say don't go on too long writing pages and pages, just a short unequivocal message and then they will probably bring it up in person and you can express yourself more fully.
Whoops I just realised you're a guy, I'm guessing you're a sensitive soul though and before you do this, in addition to the above, you should be sure they know you know they know you don't want them for a relationship. That is, your relationship is close but markedly platonic, so that you fulfil the same role as their female friends. You may have slept in bed together, stayed up all night chatting etc etc.
If you feel you don't make the cut you can always express your love in person or via text or email or phone, all of which seem less momentous because they are more transient, less permanent communication types than a letter which has physical reality, takes a special effort to write and endures.
As a final hedge I would also say don't go on too long writing pages and pages, just a short unequivocal message and then they will probably bring it up in person and you can express yourself more fully.
I could never fall for them... One's a (beautiful) lesbian and the other is jsut utterly adorable(I've yet to tell her this, I will via the letter.) I couldn't think of anyone else in the world I would give a friendship love letter too, I love these girls more than anyone I've ever met in my life... It's like I'm in a romantic relationship with them but it's just friend love...
Original post by Abdul-Karim
If one of my male friends wrote me a love letter.. Friendships will be lost.
Why? Friend love is real.
Original post by -bill-
Lol, heads would roll if a bro pulled this **** on me
Why?... Why is it acceptable for someone to write a letter of love for their partner but not for their friend?
Original post by MylittlePlusle
I could never fall for them... One's a (beautiful) lesbian and the other is jsut utterly adorable(I've yet to tell her this, I will via the letter.) I couldn't think of anyone else in the world I would give a friendship love letter too, I love these girls more than anyone I've ever met in my life... It's like I'm in a romantic relationship with them but it's just friend love...
Yes I understand but you need to be sure they know that's the nature of your friendship, otherwise they might see the card as something more. Of course you should be frank about your feelings, and make sure you get them off your chest sufficiently, but to the extent that you can control your effusion in the message I would use less terms like "adorable" and more focus on the way they have changed your life.
In my view, your feelings are in fact the exact same thing as "love", and the pairing of love with sex is largely an effect of "courtly love" narratives, which were promoted by the Church in the 1100s to stop knights, who were basically testosterone-fuelled mercenaries along the lines of council-estate gang members, raping women and leaving them with children which the woman couldn't provide for economically. These narratives became a standard part of pre-Renaissance upper/warrior-class morality literature and form the basis for the fairy tales we tell today.
I have expressed the not uncontroversial view elsewhere that the same protective love a man feels for his girlfriend is the same protective love a girl feels for her girl [space] friends, and that girls' love for their boyfriends is of a different quality.
Insofar as this is true, it is perfectly possible for you to feel protective love for your female friends without wanting to shag them nineteen ways to Sunday.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by scrotgrot
Yes I understand but you need to be sure they know that's the nature of your friendship, otherwise they might see the card as something more. Of course you should be frank about your feelings, and make sure you get them off your chest sufficiently, but to the extent that you can control your effusion in the message I would use less terms like "adorable" and more focus on the way they have changed your life.
They've shown me what it's like to truly love someone platnonically I am also forever grateful for them saving me.
Original post by MylittlePlusle
I wish to give my two beautiful and special friends a PLATONIC love letter for our one year anniversary, I don't see anything wrong with it, I'm just telling them how much I love them I am to have them in m and how much they mean to me and how grateful to have them in my life... Meetign them saved me from intense sadness and fries I was having at the time, they brought me into the light...
But my family and friends think it's a bad idea, they don't understand why I make a big fuss over them... As I've said before I have intense love for the both of them, I can't explain it, I just love them so much... I wouldn't know what to do if I lost them... If I did I would be emotionally dead, I don't think I would ever smile or laugh or be happy... I know that I am most likely attached to them or I have emotionally imprinted myself on to them... They all fuzzy whe just make me so happy... I get all fuzzy and warm when I think of them... I always tell them I love them when I can.
Back to my family... They find it strange that I tell them that I love them just becuase of their age, one is 16, the other is 15 and I am 20, I met them only becuase they were doing work experience at my college. What's their point? They're my FRIENDS why can't I tell them that I love them?! Age shouldn't matter unless it's is an issue...
Do you think it's weird that I want to make a love letter for them?
But my family and friends think it's a bad idea, they don't understand why I make a big fuss over them... As I've said before I have intense love for the both of them, I can't explain it, I just love them so much... I wouldn't know what to do if I lost them... If I did I would be emotionally dead, I don't think I would ever smile or laugh or be happy... I know that I am most likely attached to them or I have emotionally imprinted myself on to them... They all fuzzy whe just make me so happy... I get all fuzzy and warm when I think of them... I always tell them I love them when I can.
Back to my family... They find it strange that I tell them that I love them just becuase of their age, one is 16, the other is 15 and I am 20, I met them only becuase they were doing work experience at my college. What's their point? They're my FRIENDS why can't I tell them that I love them?! Age shouldn't matter unless it's is an issue...
Do you think it's weird that I want to make a love letter for them?
You sure do complain brother...
Original post by Lord Frieza
You sure do complain brother...
Original post by MylittlePlusle
They've shown me what it's like to truly love someone platnonically I am also forever grateful for them saving me.
Write that then - but I will advise you that using platonically as a qualifying adverb sounds like the lad(y) protesting too much.
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