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Girlfriend not showing enough affection.

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Reply 20
Original post by shiva300
It seems like she really isn't as into you as you are her. She may just have a bad way of showing her feelings but it doesn't sound like a good relationship tbh, if she just agreed with what you said then it obviously didn't bother her. Sorry but doesn't seem like it will last!


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I think she isn't one who is great at showing her emotions or feelings to one another, I guess. I mean, we've been 'together' for about 4 1/2 months now, if she really didn't want a relationship with me, surely she would of ended it by now...
So, when you are together she is affectionate and loving but she is not great at texts

Well, lots of people aren't
Reply 22
Original post by TenOfThem
So, when you are together she is affectionate and loving but she is not great at texts

Well, lots of people aren't


No, not exactly. It's always me having to innate stuff. Like, I really find it hard explaining this.... but she isn't really a 'girly' girl, so she isn't the typical type of girl who I suppose is flirtatious, passionate, etc. if you get what I mean...
Girls hate it when you call them baby. We're not babies - babies are little human beings. It is a HUGE turn off.. Well it is for me and for all other girls I know from what I've gathered.
Original post by Anonymous
No, not exactly. It's always me having to innate stuff. Like, I really find it hard explaining this.... but she isn't really a 'girly' girl, so she isn't the typical type of girl who I suppose is flirtatious, passionate, etc. if you get what I mean...


But she says that she loves you


If her personality is such then you accept that or leave
Reply 25
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah... I mean, that does seem about right. She did mention that in the past, she was a bit 'attached' to someone so that could may well be a reason as to why she is now how she is. However, I have reassured her many times that I am not the kind of guy to just drop everything. In fact, since we last met up up, I hadn't seen her before that in over 7 weeks - I sort of then used that to say to her that I am an extremely loyal person, which she concurred to and seemed alright after that.

That is true, it has (and still sort of is) difficult. Being able to actually see her once a week is literally a miracle (I know, that's how f**** up it sort of is). It can be emotionally draining, however, I'm always going to stay on my game (going off to university next year as I'm currently on a gap year). Although, I feel that I have made a lot of sacrifices or that I would make loads of sacrifices for me. I don't know, perhaps I want attention from her that I just can't get.

And also, I would say that this is the first 'serious' relationship that I have had. I've dated several girls in the past, but nothing as serious, or nothing that have made me feel like this.


I don't think I can say any more. Just that a relationship should meet the needs of both people. It sounds like her needs are met, but you are falling short. I don't know, a solution could be as simple as seeing her more often, but that doesn't seem to be an option for you right now. So I think you need to find a way to communicate that she can embrace - clearly texts are not it, maybe phone or skype twice a week and meet in person once a week, so have three good long chats instead of relationship small talk by text? I don't know if that would work.
Reply 26
Original post by Flexa
Address the issues with her.


I sort of have before, and she agrees to it and says that she will try to improve things. I certainly feel like I've said what I have had to say, it's now just a case of her doing something about it...
Reply 27
Original post by ILovePancakes
Girls hate it when you call them baby. We're not babies - babies are little human beings. It is a HUGE turn off.. Well it is for me and for all other girls I know from what I've gathered.


She said that she likes babe/baby. I called her 'hun' in the past and she didn't like that because of some weird friend of hers who kept saying it in a weird scottish way.
Reply 28
Original post by ILovePancakes
Girls hate it when you call them baby. We're not babies - babies are little human beings. It is a HUGE turn off.. Well it is for me and for all other girls I know from what I've gathered.


And, she (on the rare occasion, of course) says 'baby/babe' to me..
Reply 29
Original post by TenOfThem
But she says that she loves you


If her personality is such then you accept that or leave


I guess it's going to be down to whether I just accept the way she is. Although, I'm hoping that things or her does change, in a good way that is.
Original post by Anonymous
I sort of have before, and she agrees to it and says that she will try to improve things. I certainly feel like I've said what I have had to say, it's now just a case of her doing something about it...


im sorry to tell u this but u need to hear it. shes obviously just stringing you along. she doesnt like u half as much as you like her and the only reason she says she loves you is because she feels like it's the least she can do while being in a relationship with u. i bet u were the first one to say it too, right?

iv dealt with chicks like her. she doesnt want to be the one to end it but she does want it to end. she wants u to be the one left with the guilt.

so simply breaking up with her means she wins. she'll play it out like u were the bad guy guy and act all broken hearted but deep down the bitch is thinking "good riddance"...

so what you need to do is make her feel bad in the process. tell her how u feel and emphasise how much of a ****ty girlfriend shes been. that way u leave on top. then make sure you take lots of pictures with other more attractive girls after that... she'll then want you back and if you do take her back, make sure you stop acting like a bitch. be a man. don't text her too much. give her the D and make sure you do it right. then she won't ever forget you and you'll turn her into a craving horn dog.

good luck bro
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 31
Original post by Anonymous
Also, when I send her like a paragraph of text, saying hey, 'how are you, can't wait to see you etc', like today for example she responds saying 'just finished [activity], won 3-1' etc. and doesn't actually ****** read my ****** text or some ****. It's starting to really **** me off.


How about skyping? Or fb messaging. Texting can be so limiting for lengthy messages, I find. Can be so much effort. With skype, you can read her body language, and see if she has that affection for you that you're looking for.

Also, you should talk about your worries with her. You could approach the subject without being confrontational. And you're probably right, her looking at other guys' instagrams probably means very little.
Reply 32
Original post by Lone tiger
im sorry to tell u this but u need to hear it. shes obviously just stringing you along. she doesnt like u half as much as you like her and the only reason she says she loves you is because she feels like it's the least she can do while being in a relationship with u. i bet u were the first one to say it too, right?

iv dealt with chicks like her. she doesnt want to be the one to end it but she does want it to end. she wants u to be the one left with the guilt.

so simply breaking up with her means she wins. she'll play it out like u were the bad guy guy and act all broken hearted but deep down the bitch is thinking "good riddance"...

so what you need to do is make her feel bad in the process. tell her how u feel and emphasise how much of a ****ty girlfriend shes been. that way u leave on top. then make sure you take lots of pictures with other more attractive girls after that... she'll then want you back and if you do take her back, make sure you stop acting like a bitch. be a man. don't text her too much. give her the D and make sure you do it right. then she won't ever forget you and you'll turn her into a craving horn dog.

good luck bro


Oh my god dam, you're hysterical 😂

Really though, we have spoken about it and I can tell that she is genuine when she says that she loves me etc.. I just think her personality or her 'normal' to me is just COMPLETELY different. I have though about leaving her but again, I want to try and hold on to her... I know, I've got to stop being a bitch which I kind of have done... it's just **** like this that inevitably keeps you hanging a bit...
Reply 33
Original post by Pride
How about skyping? Or fb messaging. Texting can be so limiting for lengthy messages, I find. Can be so much effort. With skype, you can read her body language, and see if she has that affection for you that you're looking for.

Also, you should talk about your worries with her. You could approach the subject without being confrontational. And you're probably right, her looking at other guys' instagrams probably means very little.


I've asked her if we could Skype, she says 'yeah' etc. but there never seems to be time for it... I kinda know though that she is very busy during the week doing her sport or w/e, I just find it so strange to be the one on the other end waiting or texts and waiting for her to be free... It should be the other way around lol

I don't know, like when we're together, I can never have a adequate conversation with her, she isn't very... I don't really want to say it lol but yeah, it's hard being with someone who is on the complete other end of the spectrum.
Reply 34
Another thing I'd like to add is that her parents don't even know that she is in a relationship. I think it is evident that she has never had a relationship 'worth mentioning' or w/e. I think she must be either fairly new to it and/or is a bit apprehensive about telling her parents. One of them is particularly influential about her sport and so I guess that could be a contributing factor...
Original post by Anonymous
Hi people,

I'll try to keep this short.

So basically, I'm with this girl who I met last year, we've been dating for several months now. I only see her once a week due to her being at college in another town. When we text, it just seems that she either doesn't give it much thought or isn't an affectionate person. Like I'm always saying stuff like (Hey babe, hey baby etc.) and she doesn't seem to reciprocate, which, for some reason really bothers me. Another thing that is frustrating is that when I see her liking pictures of other boys on instagram and all that ****. I know, I shouldn't be so bothered by it but I am. If it helps, she's 17 and I'm 18 (almost 19).



Are you just dating or are you in a relationship?

Either she's playing hard to get or she genuinely cannot be bothered to reply properly.

I've been guilty of reading texts and then getting distracted, so I end up replying many hours later.

If someone isn't giving me any effort then I stop giving them effort. **** time wasters, stop thinking about her and spend your time with better people
Reply 36
Original post by Ferris Bueller
Are you just dating or are you in a relationship?

Either she's playing hard to get or she genuinely cannot be bothered to reply properly.

I've been guilty of reading texts and then getting distracted, so I end up replying many hours later.

If someone isn't giving me any effort then I stop giving them effort. **** time wasters, stop thinking about her and spend your time with better people


In a relationship, so to speak. I mean I don't know if it's the way I text or something, but she is terrible at reading my texts... like, she either possesses a low IQ or is just s*** at talking. Like I said earlier, we have very basic conversations - we don't have much common ground and I suppose part of that shows that she is on a different wavelength to me.
Original post by Anonymous
In a relationship, so to speak. I mean I don't know if it's the way I text or something, but she is terrible at reading my texts... like, she either possesses a low IQ or is just s*** at talking. Like I said earlier, we have very basic conversations - we don't have much common ground and I suppose part of that shows that she is on a different wavelength to me.


Just don't bother texting her for a while, if she doesn't send you anything then dump her because she clearly doesn't give a ****
Original post by Rock Fan
Best thing to do is talk to her about these issues.


You know, sometimes it's best not to talk about things. When we are in teens, or in the very first relationship, we generally believe that we need to communicate everything to your partner. As we gain more experience in this area, we realise that sometimes it's the constant talking that brings the relationship to end.

I said sometimes.

There are thousands of things that bother me/draw my attention everyday. I don't go talk to my girlfriends about every one of those things. That would drive her crazy.
Original post by KICHMYARSE
You know, sometimes it's best not to talk about things. When we are in teens, or in the very first relationship, we generally believe that we need to communicate everything to your partner. As we gain more experience in this area, we realise that sometimes it's the constant talking that brings the relationship to end.

I said sometimes.

There are thousands of things that bother me/draw my attention everyday. I don't go talk to my girlfriends about every one of those things. That would drive her crazy.


Well obviously you don't want to talk about everything and everything in the relationship but this is one issue would surely need to be brought up, take it from personal experience, there are certain things that if you don't communicate, you find things actually get worse the longer you leave things.

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