The Student Room Group

'It is acceptable to cheat on my guy/string him along while seeing another guy

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Reply 20
Original post by Robbie242
I see, ask her whats up? talk to her... write her a paragraph... if she doesn't reply then the answer is clear, she doesn't like you anymore. If I was into someone then I'd want to talk to them everyday and would always be checking my phone etc... she sounds like she doesn't give a ****. I don't care about manliness in this context, if she wants a man and shes got you then obviously things won't end well. I'm fairly insecure but not to the degree that you are,.. I'd say by the sheer volume of insecure threads on TSR that the relationship isn't really functioning well at all


I did. She replies in monosyllabic sentences by text.
I confront her in person, she says she 'doesn't want to talk about i right now'-this is the ideal time to talk, just before the start of semester 2, after exams and party time! The ideal time to hang out, chill and celebrate! But as you say, seems she doesn't give it a ****.
She started like this last Friday, for no apparent reason.
Oh thanks :P
Reply 21
Original post by Riku
I'm not asking her to put me before studies/family/friends etc. but it's like I no longer matter to her.
I've said before, I get to see her maybe once, twice a week. Is asking how she is everyday smothering? We'vebeen going out for 9 months and she said she loves me, but she's not acting like it right now. She won't talk to me about anything.


People go off other people. Its clear from how much you post on here you are obsessive which will push her away if anything goes wrong.

I can't really say because me and my bf basically spent every day together since our first date. So unlike me but we just get on so well. You can't expect that though some people like their own space
Reply 22
Original post by Rainbow Student
Testified! Even better still, if you don't want a whiny insecure pussy, DON'T date a whiny insecure pussy. Problem solved. Like if you're against gay marriage, don't marry a gay. Simples.


I don't think it's whiny if she's been giving me the cold shoulder for a week and I want to know what's up, when the week before she was calling me all the cute names under the sun.
Reply 23
Original post by keromedic
I'm sure some do.


OK no one whose not a psychopath.
What a dumb-sounding question! I weep for humanity. :angry: :frown: If you're not into him, break up with him and then get with another guy, rather than be unfaithful. At least breaking up first finishes business and ties up loose ends. Good luck. :smile:
Original post by redferry
OK no one whose not a psychopath.

No.
I've seen it a few times on the net where ball busting people will agree with the gf as they view the bf as being too whiny.
Reply 26
Original post by Rainbow Student
Testified! Even better still, if you don't want a whiny insecure pussy, DON'T date a whiny insecure pussy. Problem solved. Like if you're against gay marriage, don't marry a gay. Simples.

Also, if you're cheating on him, isn't that going to make him even MORE insecure? Finding out that my jerk/bitch of a bf/gf was cheating on me because of my personality would be soul-destroying, for pathetic reasons too.


Yeah but it's his fault for being a whiny insecure pussy, if he was more of a man you could trample on his heart and he wouldn't give a ****
All signs point to I am weak

I just don't know why she's gone cold. Yes exam stress, but exams are over! So what's up now? She won't say. And whenever I ask she cuts off communication
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Riku
Yeah but it's his fault for being a whiny insecure pussy, if he was more of a man you could trample on his heart and he wouldn't give a ****
All signs point to I am weak


You seem to think that you have to be a robot. It's not healthy to think this way, Riku


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 28
Original post by Odd socks
You seem to think that you have to be a robot. It's not healthy to think this way, Riku


Posted from TSR Mobile


It's not healthy but it's what I've got to do. Why would she be treating me like this after exams, if it was only exam stress?
Reply 29
Original post by Riku
I did. She replies in monosyllabic sentences by text.
I confront her in person, she says she 'doesn't want to talk about i right now'-this is the ideal time to talk, just before the start of semester 2, after exams and party time! The ideal time to hang out, chill and celebrate! But as you say, seems she doesn't give it a ****.
She started like this last Friday, for no apparent reason.
Oh thanks :P


Well that sounds annoying, and again not a well-functioning relationship. You can't just push away problems and expect them to go away, you need to talk. Maybe she's been influenced by someone or something? Usually when something bad happens in her life you get cold responses etc. I've been at the forefront of many cold responses but I always manage to talk it through, whilst with you it seems like you'll never talk it through
Original post by Riku
It's not healthy but it's what I've got to do. Why would she be treating me like this after exams, if it was only exam stress?


Maybe the problem is her? Very few girls want a guy to be an emotionless rock


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 31
Original post by Robbie242
Well that sounds annoying, and again not a well-functioning relationship. You can't just push away problems and expect them to go away, you need to talk. Maybe she's been influenced by someone or something? Usually when something bad happens in her life you get cold responses etc. I've been at the forefront of many cold responses but I always manage to talk it through, whilst with you it seems like you'll never talk it through


So you see why I'm concerned?
The relationship's only gone this way for the last few months. Some of it's my fault,m when Superman came on the scene my jealousy hit me like a grand piano falling from the sky
Reply 32
Original post by Odd socks
Maybe the problem is her? Very few girls want a guy to be an emotionless rock


Posted from TSR Mobile


So why won't she open up and let me help that? Why is she treating me so cold right now?

She's confided so much n me, yet this time she'd rather avoid me all week.
Original post by Riku
So why won't she open up and let me help that? Why is she treating me so cold right now?

She's confided so much n me, yet this time she'd rather avoid me all week.


Maybe it's something she doesn't want to bother you with? Could it be her parents putting a lot of exam pressure on her?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 34
Original post by Riku
So you see why I'm concerned?
The relationship's only gone this way for the last few months. Some of it's my fault,m when Superman came on the scene my jealousy hit me like a grand piano falling from the sky


Yes, but it doesn't mean you can immediately assume the worst of her. Trust me I'm guilty of doing this with the girl I like but you've gotta learn not to, otherwise it makes her feel **** (especially if she saw all this paranoia and doubt!)
I take it your some sort of English/arts student :lol: but you gotta stop thinking about this other guy and focus on you and her. I also get jealous but not to the extent that you do. Just try take a few seconds to chill and if shes a supportive other, then she should be there to help you through your problems
Reply 35
Original post by Robbie242
Please get off your high horse, your not really helping him. You've probably never experienced the degree of insecurity Riku has, you can tell him to improve rather than making him look like an absolute tool

'Telling him to improve' will do nothing, given he likely has no control whatsoever over his thoughts and doesn't even know what would constitute an improvement, going by his posts. People have told him, repeatedly, to get professional help.

Riku, if she has gone cold and doesn't want to talk about something, maybe something has happened to her recently. People deal with things in different ways. Maybe it's personal, maybe she's talking to someone else about it, maybe she's not. It might be healthy for her to talk about it - that doesn't mean she has to be ready to talk about it, nor does it mean she has to talk about it with you specifically. Maybe she's just so irritated by you pushing her to talk so much that she would now never even consider talking to you about it.
Original post by Riku
Yeah but it's his fault for being a whiny insecure pussy, if he was more of a man you could trample on his heart and he wouldn't give a ****
All signs point to I am weak

I just don't know why she's gone cold. Yes exam stress, but exams are over! So what's up now? She won't say. And whenever I ask she cuts off communication


Yeah, I just... I don't know what to say to this. :colonhash: Leave that to your imagination....

*insert blank space here*
Reply 37
Original post by Ronove
'Telling him to improve' will do nothing, given he likely has no control whatsoever over his thoughts and doesn't even know what would constitute an improvement, going by his posts. People have told him, repeatedly, to get professional help.

Riku, if she has gone cold and doesn't want to talk about something, maybe something has happened to her recently. People deal with things in different ways. Maybe it's personal, maybe she's talking to someone else about it, maybe she's not. It might be healthy for her to talk about it - that doesn't mean she has to be ready to talk about it, nor does it mean she has to talk about it with you specifically. Maybe she's just so irritated by you pushing her to talk so much that she would now never even consider talking to you about it.


I'm texting her once of a morning when free (e.g. today) saying hey it's a beautiful day, do you wanna hang out and chill?
Then again of an evening, Hey how's it going? or Hey hope you've had a great day, thinking of you, good night :smile:' something like that

the replies I', getting are
'Hi'
'Good night'

anything to do with us meeting up, nothing
The one time we did, it was 'I'm going that way anyway so whatever'
anything involving any real discussion, nothing

I know I have issues but I also think that, aside from exam sress which I wanted to support her with (and did by not pursuing her through revision/exam weeks except to ask her how she was/was getting on)
...aside from exam stress, she's being unreasonable. And yes I've gone to an unreasonable conclusion too. But I'm very frustrated both by her coldness, and by the fact I can't help her and feel useless as a partner for her right now.



Also, I have been getting help for my anx for a while now, including current counselling, but tbh the dynamics of this relationship/often her behaviour has tested me to therapy's limits.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 38
Original post by Riku
I'm texting her once of a morning when free (e.g. today) saying hey it's a beautiful day, do you wanna hang out and chill?
Then again of an evening, Hey how's it going? or Hey hope you've had a great day, thinking of you, good night :smile:' something like that

the replies I', getting are
'Hi'
'Good night'

anything to do with us meeting up, nothing
The one time we did, it was 'I'm going that way anyway so whatever'

I know I have issues but I also think that, aside from exam sress which I wanted to support her with (and did by not pursuing her through revision/exam weeks except to ask her how she was/was getting on)
...aside from exam stress, she's being unreasonable. And yes I've gone to an unreasonable conclusion too. But I'm very frustrated both by her coldness, and by the fact I can't help her and feel useless as a partner for her right now.


lol those replies are literally stone cold
Reply 39
Original post by Robbie242
lol those replies are literally stone cold


You agree then that I'm paranoid, but she's not making it easy for me atm?

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