A serious thread about my secret feelings towards the same sex...Need help please ;(
So there's this guy in my uni (let's call him Zak) whom I really like (he's 19, I'm 22, and yes we're both guys).
Now I don't know if he's into me but there are various signs that might suggest he is: (btw I dont even know if he's gay or bi and since we both live in the Middle East and are Arabs, it's quite hard to open up about that subject let alone admit it!)
1) he got so defensive when I told him we're all bi to a certain extent (he was like I'd never get turned on by di**)
2) told my best friend Michelle that he feels that I don't like him much (when she invites him out to chill with us) and she told him that Max (me) likes you more than you could ever imagine (and he smiled!)
3) every time Michelle hangs out with him and his best friend, he keeps asking about me, like where's Max, why didn't he come too? Me and him could have chilled and bonded... I wish Max came, etc...
4) It was my birthday a few days ago and Michelle took a group photo of me with all my friends. And Timmy (my other best friend who knows about my feelings towards Zak) made Zak stand beside me and told him to put his arms around my shoulder (and I noticed that Zak took a long time to remove his hand after we were done taking photos)
5) Every time me and him sit in the backside in the car, our legs touch and he doesn't remove it, or once he had like this whole space but sat in a way that occupied the whole way and his thighs overlapped my hands and he never removed them.
6) Michelle caught him staring at me (she told me this later) and when she gave him a look he looked away and blushed (as if embarrassed she caught him staring at me)
7) Michelle told him that they were planning something for my birthday and that it was gonna be in a place where me and him could have total privacy and she told him that way you can get to know him better and stuff and he was like sure of course (like he didnt even find it weird)
8) Once, my friends teased me playfully and everyone laughed but he didnt.
9) Michelle claims she has this super strong "gaydar" and honestly believes he's gay and on top if has a thing for me because she feels there's a spark between us...
10) Many many times, she would ask Zak's best friend Alex is Zak is gay and Alex would always refuse to answer that question until one day gave her a serious look and told her Michelle please stop asking me that, if you want to know just ask him yourself...don't u find that suspicious?
-------------
Those points are basically it. I dunno what to do anymore (been obsessing over this guy for nearly a year now
Michelle keeps telling me that she's throwing hints to him about me liking him and she's like he's a smart guy, I'm sure he picked up on it.
I even sent him a text message (well michelle wrote it but told me to send it to him because I have to be more "playful" around him if i want him to open up) so in the text it was something like "hey man, just heard from Michelle that you can't make it tonight. I'm heartbroken
we need to chill more often and it's shame you can't come have a great weekend! ^_^ "
that's not a message a straight guy would send to another guy right? I mean that message itself should be a big clue that I like him. Right??
Please tell me what more I can do. What other subtle hints (strong hints) can I throw towards him? I really really like him and want to be with him... based on all those 10 points, do you think that he might in fact like me too?
Thank you all so much...
Now I don't know if he's into me but there are various signs that might suggest he is: (btw I dont even know if he's gay or bi and since we both live in the Middle East and are Arabs, it's quite hard to open up about that subject let alone admit it!)
1) he got so defensive when I told him we're all bi to a certain extent (he was like I'd never get turned on by di**)
2) told my best friend Michelle that he feels that I don't like him much (when she invites him out to chill with us) and she told him that Max (me) likes you more than you could ever imagine (and he smiled!)
3) every time Michelle hangs out with him and his best friend, he keeps asking about me, like where's Max, why didn't he come too? Me and him could have chilled and bonded... I wish Max came, etc...
4) It was my birthday a few days ago and Michelle took a group photo of me with all my friends. And Timmy (my other best friend who knows about my feelings towards Zak) made Zak stand beside me and told him to put his arms around my shoulder (and I noticed that Zak took a long time to remove his hand after we were done taking photos)
5) Every time me and him sit in the backside in the car, our legs touch and he doesn't remove it, or once he had like this whole space but sat in a way that occupied the whole way and his thighs overlapped my hands and he never removed them.
6) Michelle caught him staring at me (she told me this later) and when she gave him a look he looked away and blushed (as if embarrassed she caught him staring at me)
7) Michelle told him that they were planning something for my birthday and that it was gonna be in a place where me and him could have total privacy and she told him that way you can get to know him better and stuff and he was like sure of course (like he didnt even find it weird)
8) Once, my friends teased me playfully and everyone laughed but he didnt.
9) Michelle claims she has this super strong "gaydar" and honestly believes he's gay and on top if has a thing for me because she feels there's a spark between us...
10) Many many times, she would ask Zak's best friend Alex is Zak is gay and Alex would always refuse to answer that question until one day gave her a serious look and told her Michelle please stop asking me that, if you want to know just ask him yourself...don't u find that suspicious?
-------------
Those points are basically it. I dunno what to do anymore (been obsessing over this guy for nearly a year now
Michelle keeps telling me that she's throwing hints to him about me liking him and she's like he's a smart guy, I'm sure he picked up on it.
I even sent him a text message (well michelle wrote it but told me to send it to him because I have to be more "playful" around him if i want him to open up) so in the text it was something like "hey man, just heard from Michelle that you can't make it tonight. I'm heartbroken
we need to chill more often and it's shame you can't come have a great weekend! ^_^ "that's not a message a straight guy would send to another guy right? I mean that message itself should be a big clue that I like him. Right??
Please tell me what more I can do.
What other subtle hints (strong hints) can I throw towards him? I really really like him and want to be with him... based on all those 10 points, do you think that he might in fact like me too? Thank you all so much...
Scroll to see replies
How about just asking him straight up instead of all this skulking around?
(edited 10 years ago)
I think you should leave Zak alone. If he was interested then I'm sure he would let you know, especially if he knows that you're gay or bi.
You'll only end up hurting yourself if you keep obesessing about him. I think sometimes when someone likes someone you can end up reading too much into peoples actions, when really there may not be anything to it.
You'll only end up hurting yourself if you keep obesessing about him. I think sometimes when someone likes someone you can end up reading too much into peoples actions, when really there may not be anything to it.
you can't just assume he likes you or is gay from these signs, it's hard to tell. speak to him privately to find out for real bc you'll end up making stuff up in your head and will get hurt. 
I hope he speaks up soon!
I hope he speaks up soon!
Kneel for him and see what happens. Or grab his bum and carefully study his reaction.
Original post by Old_Simon
Don't Muslims get beheaded for this sort of carry on ?
We're in United Kingdom, not in Saudi Arabia.
Original post by kidomo
We're in United Kingdom, not in Saudi Arabia.
Oh OK. Hypocrisy is fine then.
Original post by Old_Simon
Don't Muslims get beheaded for this sort of carry on ?
Not all Arabs are Muslim *facepalm*
And no they don't.
Original post by Old_Simon
Don't Muslims get beheaded for this sort of carry on ?
The fact that you think all Arabs are Muslims is hilarious
Original post by Tpos
Not all Arabs are Muslim *facepalm*
And no they don't.
And no they don't.
Thank you
Original post by kidomo
Kneel for him and see what happens. Or grab his bum and carefully study his reaction.
easily said than done! haha
Original post by Pip1309
Possibly, I mean you'll never know until you ask so go for it!
The worst thing that can happen is he says no :') take the plunge haha.
Hope it all works out for you
The worst thing that can happen is he says no :') take the plunge haha.
Hope it all works out for you
but that's the thing, I can't ask him directly. There is so much to lose and it's not like where I live helps!
I wanna throw subtle but strong hints that will make him respond in my favor Original post by Reeeeyah
I think you should leave Zak alone. If he was interested then I'm sure he would let you know, especially if he knows that you're gay or bi.
You'll only end up hurting yourself if you keep obesessing about him. I think sometimes when someone likes someone you can end up reading too much into peoples actions, when really there may not be anything to it.
You'll only end up hurting yourself if you keep obesessing about him. I think sometimes when someone likes someone you can end up reading too much into peoples actions, when really there may not be anything to it.
but he might be just as scared as I am. I want him to open up to me, but I don't know what to do
And I can never give up on someone I really like. I'll always wonder "what if"..
Original post by katieeatsapples
you can't just assume he likes you or is gay from these signs, it's hard to tell. speak to him privately to find out for real bc you'll end up making stuff up in your head and will get hurt. I hope he speaks up soon!
I hope he speaks up soon!Zak is really shy and quiet. He won't admit anything, I know him, or at least I think I do. What do I do?
Um :/ anyone else?
Hey sweet, sorry to hear you're going through this. Something that noones really dealt with is the fact that he said "erw I'd never get turned on by a di**"... Surely if he's gay and that embarrassed by it he's not even going to admit it to anyone for fear of it getting out. I know a lot of gay people act like homophobes to try and detract from the underlying fact of them actually being gay but... hmm??? What did you make of his comment in the context of everything else?
Original post by Ebony19
Hey sweet, sorry to hear you're going through this. Something that noones really dealt with is the fact that he said "erw I'd never get turned on by a di**"... Surely if he's gay and that embarrassed by it he's not even going to admit it to anyone for fear of it getting out. I know a lot of gay people act like homophobes to try and detract from the underlying fact of them actually being gay but... hmm??? What did you make of his comment in the context of everything else?
Well i told him Michelle believes everyone's bisexual to a certain extent. At first he became silent and said yeah I guess it makes sense but quickly said not for me though. I can never get turned on by di**. Also on new years eve, he told michelle that a girl invited him to a party and Michelle joked and said ooo did u kiss her and he got super angry and told her "none of ur business" and then added "i wasn't attracted to her". But after he told me I can't get attracted to di** I just faked a laugh and kinda agreed. That's about it :/
Michelle tells me I'm not putting myself out there and letting him know I like him with subtle hints and the biggest proof was that he asked her if she's sure I liked his company because he feels like I don't like him much. And when she told him "max likes you more than u could ever imagine" he smiled.
Original post by Anonymous
Well i told him Michelle believes everyone's bisexual to a certain extent. At first he became silent and said yeah I guess it makes sense but quickly said not for me though. I can never get turned on by di**. Also on new years eve, he told michelle that a girl invited him to a party and Michelle joked and said ooo did u kiss her and he got super angry and told her "none of ur business" and then added "i wasn't attracted to her". But after he told me I can't get attracted to di** I just faked a laugh and kinda agreed. That's about it :/
Michelle tells me I'm not putting myself out there and letting him know I like him with subtle hints and the biggest proof was that he asked her if she's sure I liked his company because he feels like I don't like him much. And when she told him "max likes you more than u could ever imagine" he smiled.
Michelle tells me I'm not putting myself out there and letting him know I like him with subtle hints and the biggest proof was that he asked her if she's sure I liked his company because he feels like I don't like him much. And when she told him "max likes you more than u could ever imagine" he smiled.
I suppose I wouldn't suggest doing anything just yet. I think it's early days. Spend more time with him. Take up those opportunities for one to one time together. Over time you'll build a better picture of what makes him tick and also whether he is actually gay and just hiding it. But I think if you're feeling like he's either not gay or he's pushing you away there should come a point where you draw the line for your own sake and maybe leave it alone. What do you think?
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