TSR Turkish Society

thats the thing though, i only get on with educated/smart people and want my wife to have a degree too. difficult one this.

I know some turkish women who have been to uni and are now married and don't work. whether it's because they don't want to work or can't find work, i don't know.

come on guys lighten up! i'm sure the ind/pak societies don't have this much tension

Reply 3541

hollywoodbudgie

20

Original post by rosewater1

come on guys lighten up! i'm sure the ind/pak societies don't have this much tension

Well it's not everyday that someone implies that by wanting a career you won't make a good mother or wife. It's a hurtful accusation and so it's only right that we'll respond defensively. :frown:

Reply 3542

RamocitoMorales

21

Original post by hollywoodbudgie

Crocodile tears. :laugh:

hollywoodbudgie

I want to be a mother more than anything

I think a nanny (or your parents or the parents of your partner) will do most of the mothering for you. There's more to being a mother than just giving birth you know.

hollywoodbudgie

but you have no right to argue that a woman's worth is only in her ability to raise children

Sorry, where did I write that? :hmmmm:

A certain gentleman stated that he'd like a wife who'd perform the traditional role of a 'housewife' (which I think is fair enough and it's what the majority of men would want actually) and you said '...a woman with life aspirations doesn't seem to be your thing'. I merely backed up the notion of 'having a family and raising children' as being a 'life aspiration', despite your best efforts to decry it.

So actually I'm trying to stick up for a group of women while you're trying your best to belittle them. The hypocrisy of feminists. :rolleyes:

hollywoodbudgie

as we are not simply animals ruled by the primordial instincts to breed.

That's debatable.

hollywoodbudgie

Feminism isn't about denying women to be housewives, it's about giving women a choice.

It's not in your case, as shown above. :rolleyes:

hollywoodbudgie

Having choice is a wonderful thing, a freedom of your own life.

Whether we have choice or not is actually very debatable. Most philosophers would argue that what we assume to be 'choice' is actually causal (i.e. we are complete products of our environment).

Also, the illusion of 'having choice' might not be such a wonderful thing as you think. It has sprung forth notions such as 'I want to live my life' or 'YOLO'. Such thought shows a a complete lack of responsibility and respect for one's parents. Some might even argue that this simple notion is responsible for the deterioration and devolution of society.

hollywoodbudgie

To entirely financially depend on someone? You end up loathing the person for constantly having to ask for money like a child and it is horrible for any relationship.

Loathing someone demonstrates poor character and is the real reason why the situation is 'childish'.

hollywoodbudgie

I don't care for arguing with someone whose entire ideals are so engrained in the hunter-gather times.

Such ideals still exist in parts of the world and existed here less than a century ago. Human civilization has spanned for millenniums, so if you think that we were in the 'hunter gatherer' times a century ago then you seriously need to brush up on your history. You might not be able to make a penny from it but it would help you from making an absolute fool yourself.

hollywoodbudgie

PLEASE TELL US ALL WHEN YOU FIND HER! :rofl:

You know the current socio-economic situation does not favour the male. You've found 'him'. Another case of a 'man' having to settle for someone due to the aforementioned situation. I have more self respect than that.

hollywoodbudgie

Edit: Also, I'd like to point out how utterly ridiculous your 'knowledge for knowledge sake' argument is. Euclid was born in 323BC. DO YOU THINK HE WOULD AGREE THAT WE SHOULD GO INTO OVER A £27,000 STUDENT LOAN DEBT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT? :laugh:

You're not going into a £27,000 student loan debt 'for the sake of it'. You're paying for the pursuit of knowledge which you are learning for its own sake and that he would agree with. I just find your argument a bit hypocritical, from a personal viewpoint, given that your degree is considered by many to be 'useless'. Universities are, by and large, academic institutions. If everyone held your point of view then all degrees would be vocational. :rolleyes:

lNurl

Having aspiration to have a job and career and maybe own a business does not means I don't want to be mother or wife.

Would you care to explain the logistics of having a 'career' or 'owning a business' and being a good mother? :holmes:

lNurl

I wanted to be educated

Good for you.

lNurl

if husband dies? Where she supposed find money and not starve? and how she is supposed to feed her children?

Don't be so melodramatic. That's what the husband's will is for and in this country, at least, the government provides benefits for people in such situations.

lNurl

Go down bad routes?

Any excuse to go down that road... :laugh:

lNurl

doesnt matter if it's men or women.

Of course it matters. We're not the same. I can't breastfeed my children, for instance.

lNurl

You know what is the major reason why women cannot divorce in abusive marriage, not because "ohh she wants to keep her family, not let children to grow up without dad" it is because they have no financial backup.

No child should have to grow up without a father and for your information I do know of wives who've been financially secure but haven't divorced their husbands (despite it being in their best interests to do so) for precisely that reason. How can you be so disrespectful?

hollywoodbudgie

]Well it's not everyday that someone implies that by wanting a career you won't make a good mother

You won't make a good mother. How can you when you won't even spend much time with your children during the most pivotal stages of their lives...

Reply 3543

cem101

11

Original post by rosewater1

I know some turkish women who have been to uni and are now married and don't work. whether it's because they don't want to work or can't find work, i don't know.

come on guys lighten up! i'm sure the ind/pak societies don't have this much tension

i wouldnt mind my wife working but i think one of us must work at least and i think that im terrible at that stuff.

Reply 3544

hollywoodbudgie

20

Original post by RamocitoMorales

x

Did you know that when a woman gives birth, she gets maternity leave?

AND if she wants, she can leave her job for a while, or maybe switch to part time, and then return to working full time after her child is older?

:zomg:

Original post by RamocitoMorales

You won't make a good mother .

Words cannot describe my anger right now.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3545

lNurl

19

It's like accusing my mother for being bad mother where you know nothing about her or me :smile:

My mother started to work when we started primary school :smile:

I don't think staying at home from 8am to 3-4pm and watch dramas and soaps makes any good mother and unites her with her children where children are at school anyway :smile:

I am not saying, yeah give a birth then go to work from hospital :smile:

and leave the baby to someone, but what is the point staying at home for 8 hours doing almost nothing while you can have job for that time period? Maybe you can have your own business where you decide what time to go?

I'm saying, if my husband will be very rich and will put all his salary to shared account that i have access, then I don't mind staying at home :smile:

I'll watch Yaprak Dokumu again :smile:

and cook and bake all day because I enjoy it :smile:

I don't mind that life too tbh :smile:

I have my education, even if he dies, I can find a job, and because he will be rich I will have some "miras" left :smile:

My dear friends, in this economic crisis, unless you get married to rich person, it is not very likely that by only 1 parent working you can have enough money for children, for yourself and for holidays, house.

Reply 3546

TheGameOfScience

16

Original post by RamocitoMorales

Of course it matters. We're not the same. I can't breastfeed my children, for instance.

i found this >> http://www.babycenter.com/404_can-men-breastfeed_8824.bc

Reply 3547

TheGameOfScience

16

Original post by lNurl

It's like accusing my mother for being bad mother where you know nothing about her or me :smile:

My mother started to work when we started primary school :smile:

I don't think staying at home from 8am to 3-4pm and watch dramas and soaps makes any good mother and unites her with her children where children are at school anyway :smile:

I am not saying, yeah give a birth then go to work from hospital :smile:

and leave the baby to someone, but what is the point staying at home for 8 hours doing almost nothing while you can have job for that time period? Maybe you can have your own business where you decide what time to go?

I'm saying, if my husband will be very rich and will put all his salary to shared account that i have access, then I don't mind staying at home :smile:

I'll watch Yaprak Dokumu again :smile:

and cook and bake all day because I enjoy it :smile:

I don't mind that life too tbh :smile:

I have my education, even if he dies, I can find a job, and because he will be rich I will have some "miras" left :smile:

My dear friends, in this economic crisis, unless you get married to rich person, it is not very likely that by only 1 parent working you can have enough money for children, for yourself and for holidays, house.

there is soooo mannyyy smileyy facess in this

Reply 3548

lNurl

19

Original post by TheGameOfScience

there is soooo mannyyy smileyy facess in this

I want to be positive :rolleyes:

Reply 3549

TheGameOfScience

16

Original post by lNurl

I want to be positive :rolleyes:

fair enough :lol:

Reply 3550

cem101

11

Original post by hollywoodbudgie

Well it's not everyday that someone implies that by wanting a career you won't make a good mother or wife. It's a hurtful accusation and so it's only right that we'll respond defensively. :frown:

misquoting me, i said that IF a woman can't keep up with her household and motherly duties as well as juggle a career they should focus on the motherhood. call me whatever but the main role of men is breadwinner and main role of female is the household and caring for family. im not going to stop my wife from working if she wants but the natural order is that women only work if they can handle both duties.

Reply 3551

S-man10

18

So much trolling here

Reply 3552

cem101

11

Original post by RamocitoMorales

x

thank you! sorry no rep left for today :smile:

agree with everything here 100%

Reply 3553

cem101

11

Original post by hollywoodbudgie

x

1. My sister is currently in her second year of Law. however she wants to look after her children when she gets married and has kids. she sees her degree as a back up in case her husband is a scumbag so she can support herself and her children. she has career aspirations too but realises that as a female she must either put career or children on hold.

2. your argument of me wanting to marry a chav with 4 GCSE's is horrible. how can you as an out and out feminist go and belittle others like that, what makes you think you're any better than them.

3. My personal preference of a partner is my decision. i never said my wife cant work, but i would prefer one who can juggle both family life and professional life, however if she cannot then surely its sensible to go for children over career.

4. whether you care or not ALL men want a wife who can look after them, nobody wants to come home to a pig sty because their wife just got home. i want to come home to a warm house, my wife preparing food, my kids doing their homework and then have family time together.

Reply 3554

rosewater1

I'm torn on the matter- i want to go to uni and i want to work, but at the same time i would want to be the one raising my children. I have seen how some children have turned out due to their parents being too busy working rather than after them (eg some turks who can barely speak a word of turkish as they dont want to and possibly see it as something alien to them. Its all about upbringing).

Of course, not everyone is like this. Financial stability is also important.

Reply 3555

cem101

11

Original post by rosewater1

I'm torn on the matter- i want to go to uni and i want to work, but at the same time i would want to be the one raising my children. I have seen how some children have turned out due to their parents being too busy working rather than after them (eg some turks who can barely speak a word of turkish as they dont want to and possibly see it as something alien to them. Its all about upbringing).

Of course, not everyone is like this. Financial stability is also important.

true, which is why i think the absolute perfect scenario is a business for my wife in which she doesnt have to ask permission for when she works, can leave at 2.30 to pick up kids, and can also work less during holidays and more when kids grow up. even if we had the worlds best nanny and my wifes salary more than covered it i would prefer her caring as my mind would be at ease.

Reply 3556

username1245542

6

Hey guys, I'm not Turkish. But I went to Istanbul back in Feb 2012 for ten days with my sisters. Absolutely beautiful place, people, EVERYTHING! :cool:

We visited nearly every tourist attraction and went on a boat ride. My fave places have got to be the Blue Mosque & the Ottoman Palace.

I'm actually Arab, so when we went the shopkeepers kept calling us 'Laila' and calling us guzel :colondollar:

lol and they were asking us (me & my sisters) if we were from Saudi Arabia... I'm actually Saudi/Yemeni. :wink:

so they were close enough!

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3557

lNurl

19

Original post by Chaosmyth

Hey guys, I'm not Turkish. But I went to Istanbul back in Feb 2012 for ten days with my sisters. Absolutely beautiful place, people, EVERYTHING! :cool:

We visited nearly every tourist attraction and went on a boat ride. My fave places have got to be the Blue Mosque & the Ottoman Palace.

I'm actually Arab, so when we went the shopkeepers kept calling us 'Laila' and calling us guzel :colondollar: