No friends at uni

Add me to your ignore list then

No, my problem with life is that I'm ugly.

The social life is **** in this uni. I thought we made that obvious, right?

You know, I give up. This is just bashing against the wall with no results. You all win

I did make a friend in my summer work experience and he and I both made the effort to get to know each other.

But when it comes to uni, make all the effort and they don't care. Best time of my life, my ass.

What many people don't understand is that people don't become "friends" just to be friends or based on some emotional attachment. People are "friends" with those who are convenient for them, or who they can get something from. When you arrive to the uni, there will be people who know each other, they keep together, usually in twos, sometimes more. They often don't even have that much in common, but they are "friends" because strengths is in numbers. The rest quickly evaluates each other, and pick up the most confident people, who will later become the head of come cabal. Then go the best-looking, everyone wants to be "friends" with a good-looking person. The rest acknowledge themselves on the margins of social groups, and befriend each other. Then, the rest are people who were not quick enough and adroit enough to do any of the above. They feel lonely and don't understand why no one is "friends" with them. Often, they became victims, when suddenly someone "befriends" them, then that someone asks for whatever they wanted, then dumps the "new friend".

People with friends don't think about the process like this

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Cause not. On the first day at the uni, they just look at each other and immediately fall into friendship, just like this, without even knowing anything about each other. A coup de foudre. And all the others are bad losers, whom no one wanted. Not.

Lol what? It is not like that... Stop making theories to mitigate poor social skills

After having finished my first year at uni, I have to say that although I enjoyed the course, I have not made a single friend at uni. Everytime I go there, I'm mostly invisible. I do have a few conversations with some people sometimes, but never who I really go out with. None of the societies interest me and are mostly asking me to train for national championships (unfortunately I have commitments and can't leave London) or are race/religion based societies. I did decide to go to one event in the Economics society. Everyone was just drinking tons of alcohol and then some of them just left to get high on shisha. I feel that uni is not the best time socially for me. Maybe it's just meeting the wrong people but I feel that I will never will be able to get along with them.

And it's really strange because outside of uni, I never usually struggle to make friends. Maybe I ruined it because I was laughed at before freshers. I don't know - maybe I was not destined to make friends at uni?

Did you not find you relaxed after a sufficient amount of alcohol?

They say that it will get even worse afterwards...

I'm only relaxed when drinking alcohol with family. If there's alcohol in a social setting, I get more and more worried that no-one will want to talk to me.

Update: Second year was a mess too. I tried to make friends with my coursemates but they became rude and uninviting after talking to them. I do speak sometimes to some of my coursemates but I don't go out with them.

University, surprisingly for me, was a bit meh. If it wasn't for the interesting course, I'd have quit it ages ago. People constantly hype university up to be the ultimate and best time of your life. School was better, way better. No matter which school I went to, private or state, I worked and played hard. Then, came university and bam, huge disappointment.



Yes, they all do. But having had work experience, even just menial office tasks and whatnot, was a thousand times better at uni. I had better memories hooking up a projector to a TV (this guy who was standing by me spoke French to me and I tried - but failed miserably lol. Still was fun) than anything I ever did at uni.

My self-esteem jumped down since I started uni. I really thought that there was something completely wrong with me. I thought no-one wants me in their life and people will never truly like me. I've learnt that it's not the case as I get on with people just fine outside uni. It's when I'm in uni, the troubles with connecting with at least one person there becomes rather apparent.

I feel the need now to seclude myself to save myself from any more heartbreak. Best to be invisible than to be laughed at.

I won't have any friends at uni either. You are not alone

hi, l know how you feel. l just finished my foundation year and going into my first year in September and technically don't have friends. It bothers me a lot, sometimes I think of dropping out but l guess its not the answer. I'm at University of Hull, l tried to be friendly but people have been looking away or sometimes the people who say are my friends never act like it. if anyone wants to talk email me on [email protected]
thanks