The Student Room Group

French work experience essay help

Can someone please check my essasy and try to improve it please.

Bonjour!

En mon college, tous les eleves de troisieme ont fait un stage en entreprise au moins de Juin. J'ai eu de chance de trouver une place dans un cafe 'Costa'. J'ai fait mon stage dans un Truro/
Moi routine compose de je me reville a six heures et J'ai besoin du'etre a cafe a huit heures sonnates pour sortir la poubelle sentent vraiment mauvais. Le travail etait assez vaire. En un cafe, je prenais des commandes et je servais les clients mais Je me sentais comme si J'ai du etre au four et au moulin. Je me suis ennuye souvent.
J'aurais prefere travaille dans un cabinet medical comme avec un peu de chance j'etuderai la medicine a l'universite et serai riche quand je vais quitter mes etudes cependant mes parents trouvent qu'etait une experience positive.
Mon patron, le propitaire un cafe, etait tres timbre et completment allume cependant moi, je n'ai rien contre ca je pourais travailler bien au cafe. L'annee dernier j'ai volu que travailler dans un cabinet medical neamoins j'ai aime beaucoup mon stage en entreprise.Travailler dans in cafe fantastique. Travailler dans un cafe je dois que la regle la plus importante, c'est ecouter les clients.
Je obtenu une nouvelle perspective du monde reel de travaille j'ai aussi senti comme un vrai adulte et beaucoup plus matures. En plus, mon stage est bon pour mon curriculum vitae parce que les employeurs aiment les candidats avec experience de travaille

Scroll to see replies

Corrections in bold:

Original post by Ziael
Can someone please check my essasy and try to improve it please.

Bonjour! (is this really how you want to start an essay? or is it more like an informal letter?)

En À mon collège, tous les élèves de en troisième ont fait un stage en entreprise au moins de Juin. J'ai eu de la chance de trouver une place dans un café 'Costa'. J'ai fait mon stage dans un Truro (what does this mean?)
Moi Ma routine compose consistait de je me réveiller à six heures et J'ai car j'avais besoin du'etre au café à huit heures sonnates pour sortir la poubelle qui sentais vraiment mauvais. Le travail etait assez vair (this doesn't mean anything - if you mean varied then it's 'varié'). En un Dans le cafe, je prenais des commandes et je servais les clients et je me sentais comme si J'ai du devais être au four et au moulin. Je me suis beaucoup ennuyé souvent.
J'aurais préféré travailler dans un cabinet médical comme avec un peu de chance j'etuderai parce que j'aimeras étudier la médicine a l'université (et serai riche quand je vais quitter mes etudes - um...what? I suggest you take this bit out) Cependant, mes parents trouvent que s'était une expérience positive.
Mon patron, le propriétaire un du café, était très timbré et complètment allumé cependant selon moi (are you sure you want to put so much slang in an essay??) , je n'ai rien contre ca je pourais travailler bien au café (not sure what any of this is supposed to mean...) L'année dernière j'ai voulu que travailler dans un cabinet médical, néanmoins j'ai beaucoup aimé mon stage en entreprise (the first part of the sentence is kind of repeating what you said above the and second part is slightly contradicting how you said it was boring) .Travailler dans in cafe fantastique. (this sentence makes absolutely no sense, take it out). Travailler dans un cafe Je crois que la règle la plus importante quand on travaille dans un café, c'est d'écouter les clients.
J'ai obtenu une nouvelle perspective du monde réel du travaille, je me suis aussi senti comme un vrai adulte et beaucoup plus matures. En plus, mon stage est bien pour mon curriculum vitae parce que les employeurs aiment les candidats avec de l'expérience de travaille


Quite a lot of grammar mistakes, occasionally really random phrasing, some inappropriate language for an essay and no accents whatsoever...
Reply 2
Original post by lilixxx1000
Corrections in bold:



Quite a lot of grammar mistakes, occasionally really random phrasing, some inappropriate language for an essay and no accents whatsoever...



"Les élèves de troisième" was right! :smile: I've just skimmed the text but your corrections seem good! :yy:
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Jenn.
"Les élèves de troisième" was right! :smile: I've just skimmed the text but your corrections seem good! :yy:


Oh yeah oops :tongue: Don't know why I corrected that!
Reply 4
Original post by lilixxx1000
Oh yeah oops :tongue: Don't know why I corrected that!


Ahah, it's fine. Your French is really good, though! :yes:
Reply 5
Original post by Ziael
Can someone please check my essasy and try to improve it please.

Bonjour!

En mon college, tous les eleves de troisieme ont fait un stage en entreprise au moins de Juin. J'ai eu de chance de trouver une place dans un cafe 'Costa'. J'ai fait mon stage dans un Truro/
Moi routine compose de je me reville a six heures et J'ai besoin du'etre a cafe a huit heures sonnates pour sortir la poubelle sentent vraiment mauvais. Le travail etait assez vaire. En un cafe, je prenais des commandes et je servais les clients mais Je me sentais comme si J'ai du etre au four et au moulin. Je me suis ennuye souvent.
J'aurais prefere travaille dans un cabinet medical comme avec un peu de chance j'etuderai la medicine a l'universite et serai riche quand je vais quitter mes etudes cependant mes parents trouvent qu'etait une experience positive.
Mon patron, le propitaire un cafe, etait tres timbre et completment allume cependant moi, je n'ai rien contre ca je pourais travailler bien au cafe. L'annee dernier j'ai volu que travailler dans un cabinet medical neamoins j'ai aime beaucoup mon stage en entreprise.Travailler dans in cafe fantastique. Travailler dans un cafe je dois que la regle la plus importante, c'est ecouter les clients.
Je obtenu une nouvelle perspective du monde reel de travaille j'ai aussi senti comme un vrai adulte et beaucoup plus matures. En plus, mon stage est bon pour mon curriculum vitae parce que les employeurs aiment les candidats avec experience de travaille


It wouldnt be tous les élève "de en"It should just be tous les élève en troisième.

Note: itsalso acceptable to say "tous les élève de la troisième" it's ever so slightly less formal but you use in situations where you're referring to your own school :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 6
Original post by mannyq95
It wouldnt be tous les élève "de en"It should just be tous les élève en troisième.

Note: itsalso acceptable to say "tous les élève de la troisième" it's ever so slightly less formal but you use in situations where you're referring to your own school :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile



Not necessarily! You could say "Tous les élèves de la classe de troisième du Lycée Louis XV sont allés en voyage à Paris", for instance. It's not specifically referring to your own school.

To my ears, "de" is better than "en". :smile:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by Jenn.
Not necessarily! You could say "Tous les élèves de la classe de troisième du Lycée Louis XV sont allés en voyage à Paris", for instance. It's not specifically referring to your own school.


Ye that perfectly fine but I was referring to the "en" after the de

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 8
Original post by mannyq95
Ye that perfectly fine but I was referring to the "en" after the de

Posted from TSR Mobile


After which "de"? :smile:


I think the first sentence should go as follows: "Dans mon collège, tous les élèves en troisième ont fait un voyage etc". You can either use "en" or "de" - it's good. :yes:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 9
Original post by Jenn.
After which "de"? :smile:


Oops quoted the wrong person haha 😄 was meant to quote Lilly1000xx 's correction apologies :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 10
Original post by mannyq95
Oops quoted the wrong person haha ������ was meant to quit Lilly1000xx 's correction apologies :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile


It's all right. :smile:
Original post by Jenn.
Ahah, it's fine. Your French is really good, though! :yes:


Thanks :smile:

My parents are French but it's my second language
Reply 12
Original post by lilixxx1000
Thanks :smile:

My parents are French but it's my second language



Wow, that's fantastic. So, you get to speak French very often, I guess (or is it mainly English at home)? :smile:

(I'm also French. :biggrin:)
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Jenn.
Wow, that's fantastic. So, you get to speak French very often, then (or is it mainly English at home)? :smile:

(I'm also French. :biggrin:)


Well it's quite complicated :tongue: My mum is French (from Paris), my dad is Belgian (from the French-speaking part) but I was born in England and lived there for 12 years, so English is my first language. I always spoke English to my family although my mum would talk to me in French, but I would answer in English!
Then we moved to Geneva so my French improved a lot, I became practically fluent (although my reading & writing wasn't quite as good as my speaking & listening), and my accent pretty much disappeared. Now I'm at boarding school in England so my French is getting a little rusty and I can hear myself getting a little accent back but it isn't too bad!

Where in France are you from? Do you live there?
Original post by Jenn.
Wow, that's fantastic. So, you get to speak French very often, I guess (or is it mainly English at home)? :smile:

(I'm also French. :biggrin:)


Sorry didn't really answer your question properly - now I speak to my mum and dad in a mixture of French and English - we like to call it Frenglish! But I still speak to my sister entirely in English - it's both of our first language
Reply 15
Hello fellow frenchies haha :smile:

I was born in France as well
[SIZE=1
]Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 16
Original post by mannyq95
Hello fellow frenchies haha :smile:

I was born in France as well
[SIZE=1
]Posted from TSR Mobile


So much frenchies here, haha. :smile:

Original post by lilixxx1000
Sorry didn't really answer your question properly - now I speak to my mum and dad in a mixture of French and English - we like to call it Frenglish! But I still speak to my sister entirely in English - it's both of our first language


That's so cool. :smile:

Yes, I do live in France and I've been living there for 14.5 years, I think. I'm 1-hour away from Lyon, one of the largest student cities in France.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Jenn.
So much frenchies here, haha. :smile:



That's so cool. :smile:

Yes, I do live in France and I've been living there for 14.5 years, I think. I'm 1-hour away from Lyon, one of the largest student cities in France.


Oh that's really cool :smile: Yeah I know Lyon a bit I've got some extended family that live there I think. How old are you? Do you plan on studying in France or somewhere else?
Reply 18
Original post by lilixxx1000
Oh that's really cool :smile: Yeah I know Lyon a bit I've got some extended family that live there I think. How old are you? Do you plan on studying in France or somewhere else?


I'm 17 (turning 18 in 2 weeks). :smile:
Well, I applied to some universities in France but would prefer going to the UK. And you? Have you ever thought about studying in France? (you are almost bilingual, right)
Reply 19
Original post by Jenn.
So much frenchies here, haha. :smile:



That's so cool. :smile:

Yes, I do live in France and I've been living there for 14.5 years, I think. I'm 1-hour away from Lyon, one of the largest student cities in France.


See I'm from Grenoble so I know Lyon a bit

Posted from TSR Mobile

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending